Hey, how are you feeling? Please take care of yourself, you're important, you mean a lot to me. You're beautiful, extraordinary, and priceless. I wouldn't trade you for the world! You're valid and important, I Purple You 💜
//

euphoria- a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

"how about we play a game?" shoto spoke from where he was laying down. izuku turned to him, a bit confused. he was currently folding some of shoto's clothes, he didn't want to but he didn't have much of an option. he had told shoto to help him but he just rolled his eyes and laid in bed.

"how about you help me?" izuku spat. shoto gazed away from his phone and looked at izuku, raising an eyebrow. "with?" he asked.

"your clothes. it's not fair that i'm the one folding what you wear." izuku huffed. shoto made an 'o' shape before smirking. "i'll do it if you agree to play my game."

"what game?" izuku asked, as he turned to shoto.

"f i can make you laugh, i can kiss you." shoto smirked. izuku's eyes slightly widened before he puckered his lips; deep in thought. after a few second he nodded. "i'm not the type to laugh easily so good luck now fold your clothes fool."

"later, you see i have something planned for today and since you've done everything but the clothes we can leave." shoto sat up from the bed. "i never agreed to leave with you? what if you're taking me somewhere to fuck me." izuku slightly backed away.

"can you calm down for like five seconds brócoli head, i'm not in the mood right now." shoto rolled his eyes. he looked at izuku, who seemed more shocked.

"you're not in the mood?" izuku slightly gasped. he didn't even noticed the insult shoto had told him. "i'm not, i'm not always in the mood." shoto huffed. izuku nodded in disbelief. "now since you've agreed to play come with me." shoto smiled.

izuku sighed, he knew he couldn't say no. "where are we going?" izuku questioned while shoto put some shoes on.

"did you know? curiosity killed the cat." shoto teased as he tied his shoes. "i'm not a cat, and cats have seven lives. i'm sure killing one of mine wouldn't hurt."

"we're going to an amusement park." shoto finished and stood up. "okay let's go." he said, walking in front of izuku.

///

"you're so dumb." izuku argued. "shut up, i'll like to see you try. it's difficult, how the hell do you play this?" shoto crossed his arms. "this is rigged." he spat.

"it's not rigged, you just suck at it. now watch and learn." izuku grabbed the basketball and shot it.

"you missed idiot." shoto clicked his tongue. "it was my first shot." izuku smiled at him. "and you didn't make it, hurry up and make it, i'm burning." shoto said. "i will, calm down grandma." izuku rolled his eyes.

izuku shot the ball and made it. "didn't i tell you, it's simple." izuku smirked. "i'm sure you just got lucky sweetheart." shoto rolled his eyes. "don't roll your eyes, do you think i'm your whore or something?"

"in a way." shoto mumbled. "well i'm not. and i won't settle for this disrespect, apologize. i'm not one of your many fucks."

"i'm sorry, it's just hot and i want to grab a cold drink." shoto stared at izuku, izuku brought his face closer to his, their lips ghosting each other. "sir, can you please hurry up. it's hot and i wish to take my break." the lady spoke up. "i'm sorry." they both parted and izuku apologized.

"make the shot." shoto teased. "i will."

izuku grabbed the basketball and bounced it before shooting, making it in the hoop.

"marry me right here right now." shoto said out loud without meaning to. "i mean, you just got lucky." he turned to the side, a tint on his cheeks.

"i'm not marrying you." izuku joked. "you won't be saying that in a few months or years." shoto playfully jokes.

"you're rather good at basketball, why's that?" shoto asked. "well, i've played before, and to be quite honest i've won some trophies too."

"have i told you how incredible you are?" shoto said. "a few times." izuku chuckled at shoto's statement. "then let me remind you again, you're incredible." shoto smiled, izuku blushed. he didn't know whether shoto was just playing with him or if he actually meant it.

"what do you want from here sir?" she asked. "can i please get that brown bear?" izuku asked.

"sure!" she smiled. her smile was beautiful. everyone's is, you should smile more. it brings happiness to many.

the bear had a red ribbon on his neck, a hat that had a rose on it and a lovely little heart on the ride side of it, with a message. it read:

"You're beautiful in and out, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. And when things are rough, remember am always here for you! I purple you"

"it's cute." izuku smiled.

"i guess, let's go. there's other games to play."

izuku smiled and held his bear with one hand and the other was held by shoto. izuku liked it but he knew shoto was just holding his hand because he walked fast and there was a lot of people in the park.

"i want to win something for you." shoto smiled, he was determined to win something for izuku, for one of two reasons, the first he wanted to rub it in his face and the other was unknown. he just liked the way izuku's eyes shined once he won the little bear. "you don't need to."

"but i want to." shoto pulled izuku to another game.

"this one?" izuku questioned, seeing the game. "i don't think it's good, how about another one?" izuku said. "it's fine. it shouldn't be too difficult, all that is required is to climb a latter and not fall." 

"i know, but the latter moves a lot and you might injure yourself. i don't want you to get hurt." izuku looked at shoto. "i won't get hurt."

"promise?"

"i promise."

izuku smiled and stood back, watching shoto take the first step after paying. he held himself strongly even as the latter moved, trying to keep his balanced. izuku noticed how it had gotten gradually difficult, the latter was now sideways.

"be careful." izuku mumbled more to himself than to shoto.

"all done losers." shoto yelled from the top. izuku stood there, amazed. "you've done it, now come back."

"i will." shoto tried making his way back but it was more difficult than he initially thought. he couldn't keep his balance and fell. izuku bursted out laughing after seeing shoto fall. "i tried." shoto laughed. "and you won something." izuku added. "i did?" shoto questioned, he didn't think he had won something.

shoto ended up choosing a small penguin. "it's cute." izuku said. "it's a stuffed animal." he said, glancing towards the side, blushing slightly after giving it to izuku.

"let's go on that one." izuku said and pointed at a sling shot. "are you sure?" shoto questioned. he wasn't afraid, rather, it brought many memories with haru, memories he didn't want to remember. "yes." he dragged shoto there.

"is everything alright?" izuku questioned when he saw the expression on shoto's face. "why wouldn't it be?" shoto spoke in a monotone voice. izuku quickly noticed the way his voice had change, at first it was calmed, slightly annoyed but now it sounded like he was terrified but tried hiding it.

once inside the ride the guy asked them if they were ready and both of them nodded.

izuku screamed and closed his eyes. "i'm going to die." he yelled. "it's alright, i'm here for you haru." shoto yelled at him and held his hand. the ride went on for about two more minutes until they got off.

"i'm never getting on that's again." izuku said, holding his breath after he got off. "it wasn't that scary." shoto mumbled. izuku turned to look at shoto, for the second time he looked hurt, confused or maybe lost? izuku couldn't tell.

"it wasn't for you, but it was for me." izuku stared at him, "i thought i was going to die." izuku tried laughing but shoto just nodded. he didn't look at izuku, in fact he avoided izuku's eyes. they started walking away from the ride, it was silent and shoto seemed lost in thought. after a while he spoke again, "but you didn't die." he forced a smile.

"i hate you." izuku slightly pushed him. i don't.

"i guess it can't be helped." shoto shrugged. she always said i was meant to be hated by everyone.

izuku didn't say anything else, it seemed like shoto wasn't in the mood. he didn't even seem to care about anything anymore, he wasn't insulting him or saying anything else. izuku gave him a few minutes and just walked with him, after a while he seemed to have gotten better.

after he was better their day day went on with them trying more rides and shoto having to reassure izuku he wouldn't die in any of the rides so long shoto was by his side.

"we should try that one." izuku pointed at another one. "lets go then." shoto nodded, as they made their way to the ride, it was a guitar.

"if you get scared, hold my hand." shoto said. that way you'll be safe, as long as you're with me.

after waiting a bit in line it was their turn to go. "ready?" shoto questioned. "i am."

after the ride was done they both came out. shoto was smiling, meanwhile izuku looked terrified.

"shoto?" izuku asked. "yes?" shoto hummed. "are you alright, i've noticed you looked kinda down in this ride and some other ones." shoto bit his lip.

"don't be dumb, i'm fine. i'm just hungry. let's grab a bite." shoto said. shoto didn't want to tell izuku this place reminded him of haru. it was painful enough to know she would never return. "let's go." izuku said.

izuku intertwined their hands together and walked towards the food place.

"what do you want?" izuku asked. "my treat."

"it's fine, i'll pay." shoto said. "it's my treat." izuku smiled. shoto sighed.

"i'll take two slices of hawaiian pizza and a coke." shoto told the waiter. "what about your boyfriend?" the waiter asked. "i'll have the same thing." izuku said, he didn't bother to correct the waiter.

"very well, i have to admit you and your boyfriend are quite the couple." the waiter smiled and left.

"she's blind, like i would date you." izuku playfully joked. "you won't date me but i'll have you someday." shoto shrugged, he seemed uninterested. "eventually, you'll fall for me." shoto whispered to himself but izuku heard him.

"i wouldn't fall for you, i know that people like you don't change. after you get what you want you'll leave, people don't change." izuku said. it hurt him say that, but why?

"you couldn't be more right. people like me don't change, you know why? because someone won't change from night to day because you want them to, if they want to change they'll change for themselves not for someone else. it's absurd for you to think that i'll even change my ways for someone like you? can't you see, i'm more selfish than you think i am." shoto smiled. the waiter soon came back with the drinks and the food. they didn't talk to each other afterwards, they only ate in peace.

"this is good." izuku moaned in delight. "it is." shoto sighed.

"there's a harry potter ride around here if you want to check it out." shoto said and he finished his pizza. "there is?" izuku asked and smiled.

"yes love. want to go to it?" he said as he wiped himself. "yes." izuku said. "fan of harry potter?" shoto asked. "yes, i am."

"do you perhaps have a favorite movie?" shoto tilted his head, he wasn't the biggest fan but he did have to admit that their rides were always fun. "i do." izuku enthusiastically smiled.

"may i know?" shoto asked. "it's hard to choose but my favorite is harry potter and the half blood prince, i enjoy that one the most." izuku beamed. shoto couldn't help but to let a small giggle out.

they picked up after themselves and made their way to other games. izuku and shoto enjoying their time until the day came to an end. shoto was able to win many things for izuku but refused to play any games that involved shooting a ball in a hoop. izuku realized shoto was good at shooting games and some other things. maybe they should play video games together someday? izuku thought.

shoto was able to forget about haru and enjoyed his time with izuku. he didn't think of her but he did hate this new feeling. he had promised himself and her something and he wasn't ready to break it.

"it's getting rather late, isn't it?" izuku said. "thanks for stating the obvious." shoto playfully joked. "though, there's still one more ride." shoto pointed at the ferris wheel. "want to go on that?" izuku furred his eyebrows. "i do, let's go together." shoto's smiled and walked towards it.

after they waited a bit in line it was their turn to go up. they went up, slowly and as soon as they reached the top fireworks started. izuku was shocked, the view from the top was beautiful and shoto thought so too, but he couldn't focus much on the view in front of him, all of their memories came back to him. instead, he stared at izuku to clear his mind, it was selfish and he knew that.

shoto continued staring at izuku until izuku stared back at him. he smiled at shoto, he was happy. happier than he had felt. they both looked at each other, lost in each other's eyes. each second passing by felt like hours were passing, and izuku finally realised how beautiful shoto was. izuku looked at shoto's lips and eyes, as shoto did the same. they leaned in slowly, as their lips were only millimeters apart until shoto backed away.

izuku was confused but didn't question it. he looked at shoto, shoto once again looked like he was in pain and didn't seem to be fine. it pained izuku for a moment.

izuku looked at shoto and reached for his face, placing his hands on each side of his cheeks. izuku stared at shoto's eyes, he looked like he wanted to cry and shuddered at izuku's cold hands. he looked like he wanted to back away, his breathing seemed to have stopped for a second before his old expression came back. it was dull once again; for some reason he seemed a bit empty.

but izuku couldn't tell in that moment, instead he got closer to shoto. izuku's eyes never leaving shoto's lips. izuku gazed at shoto's eyes, he looked vulnerable but he nodded, giving izuku permission.

izuku leaned in and pecked shoto's lips. for a moment, his heart skipped, euphoria. it was after he backed away that it hit him. he kissed shoto, he blushed and backed away fast.

shoto on the other hand seemed to have calmed down for a second, he took a deep breath. probably trying to process what just happened.

"shit." izuku whispered biting his lip. he didn't mean to do it— it was just in the moment. he didn't speak so shoto and didn't turn to look at shoto; shoto soing the same. they both waited until the ride finished and got off.

they didn't speak to each other as the walked towards the car. "i'm sorry." izuku broke the silence. shoto nodded.

izuku frowned, shoto was ignoring him. "you can't just ignore me, at least tell me something."

shoto however didn't speak. he was afraid of his voice, he was afraid it would sound weak, like it would sound whenever haru made comments and made him feel less than he was; truth was, maybe she was right.

at least that's that shoto thinks.

shoto felt weak through the ride home, he couldn't tell izuku anything. he just drove towards izuku's home to drop him off. once he was there he waited for izuku to get off so he could leave.

"i'm sorry." izuku mumbled again, he wasn't expecting shoto to answered him. not with the way he was acting but shoto did answer him.

"stop apologising, it was just a game." he spoke, but he didn't seem to be speaking to izuku, instead it seemed like he was speaking to himself. however, izuku didn't say anything.

"goodnight." izuku whispered getting off the car. shoto didn't acknowledge him and left as soon as izuku was out of the car. he had tears in his eyes but didn't wipe them away. he just let them fall.

[even if i knew already, i can't stop no way of falling. as time passes, it just becomes more ruined, no way it's collapsing again]

it's okay to not have goals, it's okay to not have dreams. it's okay if you want to cry, it'll be alright. you don't have to have your own dreams right now, life is long so take it slow. the end is filled with a paradise of dreams, you don't have a destination, it's alright to stop. there's no need to run without even knowing the reason, it's alright to not have a dream. if you have moments where you feel happiness for a while but it's never okay to give up on yourself.

[have i lost my passion or maybe i just never had one to begin with.]