are you really measuring yourself to people who pretend to be confident?

stop loving your grades and other people's approvals, start loving yourself.

you're more than you take yourself to be, don't forget that. don't forget that you're beautiful in and out. 💜

//

"good morning loser." dojin spoke while walking towards izuku, embracing him in a hug. izuku just nodded and didn't answer back.

"are you okay? you look rather down." dojin asked, tilting his head. izuku sighed and looked up, mustering a fake smile.

"i do?" he faked chuckled, avoiding dojin's eyes. "but i feel quite alright if i do say so myself." izuku lightly chuckled.

"well, your appearance seems to say otherwise." he lightly laughed. izuku on the other hand just gave him a tight lipped smiled and rubbed his neck. "we should go to class, i think it's about time we got some learning done."

dojin didn't say anything else but nodded. they both walked together, however izuku noticed dojin was slightly closer than before, their hands would occasionally touch each other.

"izuku." rin called from a distance before they entered their class. "can we talk?" she said. izuku sighed as he stopped and turned to her. she seemed out of breath and a bit red, which was unusual.

"what is it?" izuku asked. rin averted her gaze and brought it towards dojin. dojin frowned but nodded as he headed inside the classroom without saying anything.

"i wanted to tell you something important. i saw you yesterday with mr. todoroki, i wanted to say hi but it seemed like you were both too busy hanging out." she lightly laughed, avoiding izuku's eyes like the plague.

izuku carefully nodded, he wondered how much she actually saw. did she see when izuku kissed him? doubt it.

"before i tell you anything, are you gay?" she asked, frowning. izuku was shocked, what was she asking? he wasn't. she should know that, after all they were sleeping together before.

izuku opened his mouth but no words came out. he was glad rin wasn't looking up, otherwise she would notice that izuku couldn't speak.

he never really thought about it. was he gay? did he like someone? shoto? he quickly shook his head, he wasn't. he couldn't be, his mother would never accept that, right?

rin looked up, she had slight tears in her eyes. she had one hand in holding her belly and the other hanging. however, once she noticed izuku's confused expression she faintly smiled.

"izuku, trust me it's okay to like what you like. no one will judge you, literally. we're all meant to like whoever we like, love is free. it could be shared with a woman, a man, a snack if you wish it. don't be so caught up on someone else's ideals, they're not you. only you can decide what you want. why should you change yourself for someone that abandoned you? or someone that only talks because they have a mouth. instead you should be moving on from people like that and those who you think won't accept you." rin finished.

izuku was a bit taken aback, rin had never spoke about something like that. "i-i'm not into guys." izuku tried speaking, his throat felt dried. was he really not into them? it couldn't be possible. "izuku." rin started but izuku backed away, he looked scared.

"fuck, just leave me alone." he cold yelled and backed away. he entered the classroom, leaving a confused rin behind.

rin frowned and looked down at her own belly. "looks like you'll have to wait." she whispered to herself.

//

izuku entered, more confused than before. surely he wasn't gay, a kiss meant nothing. it was a peck, something simple, it doesn't matter that it was with shoto. hell, shoto doesn't even like him. and izuku couldn't like him back, his mom and aunt wouldn't allow that. not after what happened all those years ago, not after he promised his aunt that he didn't like boys. izuku lowered his head, closing his eyes.

"isn't that right, izuku?" his teacher spat. izuku lifted his head from the desk rapidly. "i'm sorry, what— i mean yes." izuku looked around the room confused. had he fallen asleep? was it possible?

"as i was saying, if you take izuku and subtract sleep it equals to a sleeping izuku in class. care to tell me i'm wrong, mr." the teacher told sternly.

izuku gulped, he had fucked up. how could he fall asleep in mr. kim's class. he doesn't remember falling asleep, all he recalls is him thinking of what's happening and what he should do.

he looked around the room, realizing all eyes were on him and the class was quiet.

"bloody timing." izuku scoffed.

"pardon?" Mr. Kim questioned. "watch your tongue, i wouldn't want you to stay for detention."

izuku thought about his options. one he could tell Mr. Kim he's sorry or two tell him off but it would cause him detention.

"i'm sorry Mr. Kim, it won't happen again." izuku apologized. Mr. Kim looked at him for a few seconds and walked away, scoffing.

"as i was saying, back in the 1944's Elie Wiesel went into a concentration camp, he gets separated from his mother and sister and goes along with his father. those who read the assigned pages in night, can someone tell me how old was he?" Mr. Kim looked towards izuku and sighed. he made his way towards izuku's desk. izuku lifted his head.

"Mr. izuku, please answer the question i just asked. since you seem to know everything and that's why you're falling asleep in my class." Mr. Kim looked at izuku sternly, he had a mocking smile on. one izuku wanted to wipe out.

izuku stared at Mr. Kim, not saying anything. "look izuku, i don't want to yell at you again, please pay attention. this class is a foremost so you can graduate." Mr. Kim rubbed his temples.

"i understand Mr. Kim." izuku said. "then please pay attention, i really don't want to argue with you— you're a good student, i don't want you falling behind."

"i see, thank you." izuku rolled his eyes, he honestly didn't want a lecture from him. izuku hoped Mr. Kim didn't see him, but he did.

"where you able to find a brain back there? if not please pay attention to my class."  Mr. Kim spat. "but since you seem to not be interested, how about you write a 50 page essay on why you should listen to me, or simply answer the question i asked you."

izuku gulped, he didn't remember the question and he hadn't read any of the pages.

"very well, i expect to see that essay on my desk tomorrow."

dojin whispered "15" to izuku. izuku looked at him confused for a bit until he realized it was the answer.

"Mr. Kim, he was 15 years old when he got taken to a camp."

"what year?" Mr. Kim asked.

izuku sighed in frustration, he didn't remember. he took a long guess.

"1944?"

"i see, i'll cut your essay, i expect 25 pages on my desk." Mr. Kim smiled.

izuku didn't understand why he had fallen asleep or why he was tired. he had gotten enough rest, at least he recalls getting enough. he didn't stay up too late, he only stayed up thinking about his date or hangout. maybe it was all those thoughts that drained him.

it s not good to keep those thoughts in mind, they'll only drain you. what's the point of listening to someone else nag how you should live your life. they're not you and they definitely should not pick what you should be. you're free to make your own choices, so let go of those negative thoughts cause in the end you're more than enough. at least that what izuku used to think before.

"you see at your age, i know you are hormonal teens, but please be careful. i know this has nothing to do with the lesson, but i just thought i just warn you— if you just throw yourself out like that you'll lose your self-respect. please just be careful." Mr. Kim smiled. "the last 20 mins of class are yours, if you want you can be dismissed or stay. either or i don't mind."

"Mr. Kim, i haven't done any needs." izuku said. regretting the words that came out of his mouth. "i'm sorry? i didn't mean you, i meant in general. but you're right, you wouldn't be the one fucking. far too innocent, stay that way." Mr. Kim smiled.

"Mr. Kim i can assure, i'm not as innocent as you take me to be."

"izuku, this world is dangerous. just be careful is what i meant, don't take it literal. i'm not here to judge you on your worst mistakes, i'm here to teach and listen."

"even if i were to make a mistake so big— that it could cause someone to be disappointed in me? or even caused someone harm?"

"izuku, think about it. if you're owning up to your mistakes then why should we continue to push it. you should never apologize for something unless you had done something awful. take an example, if someone likes you and you don't like them, and have told them multiple times that you only see them as a friend— but they don't understand so later on they come and blame you for not returning their feelings, don't apologize. you've done nothing wrong if you told them that you only see him as a friend. or if you're in the opposite end, don't blame them and tell them they deserve it just because they couldn't return your feelings. that's pure none sense." Mr. Kim sat in his chair, folding his hands and laying his head on them.

everyone had stayed, their mouths agape.

"izuku, what i'm trying to say is— learn to move on and don't blame people for not wanting you or doing something bad— instead look at everything positively and try to be nice. if they don't accept that then there's no point to continue, separate yourself from people like that."

"i understand Mr. Kim." izuku smiled at him. "thank you for your wise words. i'll consider them and hold them dear."

"i know you will, no everyone class is dismissed. i'm sure some of you only had this class for the morning and don't have other classes until the afternoon so get home and eat. trust me school can be exhausting."

[lust feels like love until is time to make a sacrifice]

[just because the abuse he gives you isn't as bad as the others it doesn't mean it's not abuse.]

[a house made of cards, and us, inside even though the end is visible even if it's going to collapse soon we're like idiots
even if it's a vain dream, stay like this a little more]

hehe.