╰─▸ ❝ crying over peas

Mika couldn't fall asleep for her usual Monday nap, meaning she was just lying there in bed, feeling awful.

Earlier that day, she had gotten back her score on the math test she had studied for. She didn't fail, she just ended up getting a grade that was less than she anticipated. She had studied strenuously for the test, so getting a poor score on it was not what she was hoping for.

To add to it, one of the guys in her department, Tōma Arita, had been asking twice as many questions then he did before about volleyball.

He claimed it was because his roommate played volleyball, so he didn't want to seem like an idiot in front of him, but Mika was very close to just ignoring him.

Artita had also asked Mika what her favorite snack was, to which she answered, wasabi peas. She wasn't sure why he was asking, but she was hoping it was to compensate for him asking so many questions.

Mika didn't think it could get worse than that, her Spotify had chosen violence that day.

It just played sad song after sad song. Even if Mika skipped, another one popped up.

Yes, she could've just turned her music off, but Mika absolutely hated the silence when she was trying to do something, so she chose to suffer from music.

"Yes it's you, I welcome death with."

"As the World Caves In" by Matt Maltese.

Mika took a deep breath. Feeling a tear slide down her face, she quickly wiped it away.

The empty feeling she was accustomed to feeling made its appearance as thoughts of her and Eita together flashed through her memory. That line hit a different spot in Mika's heart.

Mika sat up, pausing her music. She grabbed her notebook, getting out of her bed.

"I'm going to the park to study," Mika said, putting her jacket on, and putting her hair into a ponytail. "I'll be back before dinner."

Ayame sent her a thumbs up, they were all studying, but she was the only one not listening to her music on full volume.

Mika smiled, quickly leaving for the park.

Mika played her more cheerful playlist, though, they just made her think of Eita.

Their taste in music had become so intertwined that most songs in Mika's playlist reminded her of him.

So she quickly decided to listen to her mix generated by Spotify, hoping for something different.

"Paradise" by Rude-α

That lifted Mika's spirits a bit.

When Mika got to the park, she sat under her favorite tree, opening up her notebook, writing down all of her thoughts and feelings she was dealing with.

She knew it probably wasn't healthy, but Mika usually didn't like being sympathized with by her roommates, so she would usually write down her feelings.

She had decided that once she had written out a certain feeling or thought she had, it was on the page, out of her mind.

It worked for her, which was all that really mattered to her.

Along with it, she would fold a paper crane for each topic she wrote, keeping them in a jar back in her dorm. Her roommates knew if the number of cranes had increased by a lot, it was probably the time to talk to Mika.

But Mika felt it was the right weather to write in.

The skies were grey, the clouds threatening to rain at any moment, despite the fact the weather report said otherwise.

If the sky was allowed to cry, then Mika could.

"I know you can't read this, Eita. But I just wanted to say that I miss you every day.

I miss seeing your smile every day, it was truly brighter than the sun.

I'm so sorry.

It's my fault. I should have never asked you to come to see me that day. I knew you were swamped with work and homework. I was selfish.

We had planned to meet up that night- but I just couldn't wait. If I hadn't said I missed you, you wouldn't have dropped everything to come to see me.

I know you would be saying "it's fine, we went from being together every day to all of a sudden seeing each other once every two weeks, of course, you would miss me."

Yes, you would be right, but you wouldn't be gone.

I wish I could get rid of the emptiness I feel whenever you pop up in my mind.

You were my other half throughout life after we met. Nothing could ever separate us- except old Washijiō.

But I'll never go back on the promise we made at the end of our third year. It's been so hard to keep, but I just don't want you to be even more disappointed in me.

I've tried so hard to move on, fulfilling the promise by now. I know if you could, you'd be very strongly encouraging me to get my life together, find someone who can love me just as much as you did.

I'm trying my hardest. But you always seem to be at the back of my brain, Eita."

Mika stopped writing, feeling like she had written enough, especially since she was crying again.

"Just know that if you hide. It doesn't go away."

"Little Dark Age" MGMT

She quickly folded an origami crane, skipping to the next song. She didn't need the reminder.

"Problems" by Mother Mother.

It seemed to be cycling through Mika's playlist more often than it usually did. But she didn't mind, as a lot of things were happening more often than they usually did. Like her crying.

When she finished folding the crane, she put it in her notebook before closing it.

She stood up, wiping her tears away with a tissue she brought, contemplating everything.

While most things seemed to be cycling in her life, a gender crisis strolled into her life, "spicing up" her life.

"Oyama-chan?"

Mika cringed slightly, someone had either seen her cry or was now going to know she was.

Mika didn't want to have to deal with answering why she was crying, since she didn't really have a public answer.

However, running away wasn't an option at that point, so Mika bit the bullet and turned around.

Standing there was Bokuto, his hands in his jack pockets.

Even though the clouds were threatening to rain, it seemed as if the sun had peaked through a small gap of clouds as he smiled.

"Bokuto-kun," Mika said, not sure what to do.

"I didn't expect to see you here," he said, then quickly pulled out a couple of bags of wasabi peas from his bag, handing them to her. "These are for you by the way. I heard you liked wasabi peas from my roommate, and I didn't know when I was going to run into you next, so I've kept them in my bag."

Mika cautiously took them, muttering a thank you.

She wasn't sure who would know that she liked wasabi peas (even though it was a pretty obvious thing) and was also roommates with Bokuto. Someone in her department?

Though, the bigger elephant in the room was why Bokuto had given her the wasabi peas.

"Oh- right, you're probably confused," he said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "That debate I told you I was having with my roommates... Well, I won. The prize was free snacks for a week.

"You were the winning vote. Also my roommate Tōmra always asks you questions, so I thought I should thank you for dealing with his questions."

Mika nodded, putting the pieces together. It made a lot more sense.

Arita had said something about his roommate who played volleyball, along with the fact he had asked her about her favorite snack.

"You're roommates with Arita-kun?" she said, trying to make sure she was getting it right. "You somehow found out that he likes to ask me a lot of questions, so then you got him to ask me what my favorite snack was; which is why you got me wasabi peas."

Bokuto nodded as if it was a no-brainer.

"I also have an extra ticket to my volleyball game this Thursday that I haven't given out yet," he said, fishing out a ticket from his pocket. "I know there's a lot of people who would love to go, but you know volleyball a lot better than them, I thought you would enjoy it more.

He handed Mika the ticket, who then scanned it, trying to figure out what time the game started.

She wanted to go, the feeling of adrenaline from watching the teams battle it out on the court rushed through her mind.

Mika loved the feeling of watching both sides grow as the game went on, but she wouldn't be able to go if it started later. She had a lot of homework to do.

"Thursday 20:00"

Mika sighed in disappointment, handing the ticket back to Bokuto.

"I would've loved to go," she said. "But I have a lot of homework I need to get done and a class the next morning. I'm so sorry."

Bokuto frowned, his hair seeming to do the same.

The sun had been covered back up by the clouds.

"Maybe you can come next time," he said, cheering up a bit.

"I hope so, Bokuto-kun," Mika said, with a small smile.

♪─☆彡─♪

"No, I don't really go out," Mika sighed.

She was on the phone with Satori and Wakatoshi. They were grilling her about what she did in her free time, something Mika didn't want to answer.

"When was the last time someone asked you to do something?" Wakatoshi asked.

"Monday," Mika replied. "This guy asked if I could go to his volleyball game that's happening in about ten minutes."

"Then why aren't you going there?" Satori asked, sounding frustrated.

"I have homework to do, Satori," Mika replied bluntly. "I wanted to go, you know how much I love volleyball. Except I have a big project that I need to be consistently working on, which is what I'm supposed to be doing right now."

"She has a point, Satori," Wakatoshi said. "We should probably let you do your homework th-"

"How many places do you go to in your free time, Oyama?" Satori asked, cutting Wakatoshi off. "I want an exact number. Yes, the library and park count."

Mika ran through the places she went to, realizing how sad it was going to seem if she said it out loud.

"About seven places," she said awkwardly. "The library, the park, a cafe close to my dorm, a restaurant I go to with my roommates, the gym to watch the games.

"Okay fine, it's five places."

Satori sighed loudly.

"That's it," he said, "I'm coming to make you experience Higashiosaka because I know there are more than those five places plus your dorm and classes."

"Satori, no," Wakatoshi said. "We can't do that."

Satori was silent before he clicked his tongue.

"Fine," he said. "We're not coming. Get your homework done though, O-ya-ma. You can't come to visit me in Paris if you don't graduate."

"I know, I know," Mika said, rolling her eyes. "I should go then, bye!"

"Bye, Mika!"

bee speaks !!

if the law of gravity states that all objects in the universe attract each other; the larger the mass the larger the attraction.

this concludes why i am attracted to kōtarō bokuto.