╰─▸ ❝ a look into the past

Mika awkwardly hugged Satori back after she told him he could hug her.

"How long has it been since we've seen each other?" he asked, letting her go.

"Less than a month," Mika said blatantly.

"Too long," Satori said, clicking his tongue, then turning to the entrance. "Well, we have to walk in at some point."

Mika stared at the entrance of her old school, the other alumni were walking in, their partners with them.

That left her standing there with Wakatoshi and Satori, Mika not wanting to go in.

Satori and Wakatoshi noticed this, mutually deciding to push Mika in.

"You didn't even let me decide," Mika frowned. "We've been here like twice in the last- I mean I've only been here like twice in the last year, I still need time to take it in."

Satori stopped, opening his mouth, but deciding to change what he was going to say last second.

There was a change in his demeanor, a more thoughtful one.

"Right- you were closer to him in other ways than me and 'Toshi," he sighed. "If you want to leave, we won't stop you."

Mika turned to him.

"Well, I'm already halfway to the gym," she said. "There's no reason for me to leave now. Plus, my parents are on vacation right now, I have nothing to do."

Satori smiled, although it wasn't his usual smile, it was sadder.

"Oh stop looking sad," Mika sighed. "I told you I would come, I'm living up to my word."

"We should go in now," Wakatoshi said. "I was told that I'm the special guest after I couldn't attend last time."

Satori and Mika burst out laughing.

"'Toshi- we were having a moment," Satori said through his laughter.

"Special guest?" Mika asked, snorting in laughter.

"That's what the coach said?" Wakatoshi said, seeming confused as to why they were laughing.

"That makes more sense," Mika said, her laughter dying down. "I never thought I would hear the words 'I'm the special guest' come out of your mouth, Wakatoshi."

Wakatoshi nodded in response, yet still seeming confused, as someone ran up to them.

It was a high school student who seemed on the younger side.

"Are you Ushijima-san, Tendō-san, and Oyama-san?" they asked.

"That's us," Satori grinned. "Who are you?"

"Jin Himari, she/her," she said, bowing. "I'm a first-year- the manager of the boy's volleyball team."

"It's nice to meet you, Jin-chan," Mika said, bowing in return. "Do they need us right now?"

Jin nodded quickly, only just noticing how intimidating Wakatoshi and Satori were.

"Coach Tanō is waiting for you," she said. "He looks a little mad- so I would probably go in- or don't! You're adults- I shouldn't have- never mind."

Satori laughed.

"We'll be right in," he said. "We just had to catch up a bit. I'll make sure Wakatoshi-kun here tells the coach it's not your fault."

Jin nodded once more, rushing back into the gym.

"Poor Coach Saitō," Satori sighed, as they walked to the gym. "The old man hasn't gotten a break from working with strict uptight coaches, having to deal with old Washijiō, and now Coach Tanō. Man, we thought Washijō was stern, but Coach Tanō is a whole different ball game."

Mika sighed, nodding. She thought no one could be as stern as Coach Washijiō was, but after her last run-in with the new coach; she came to realize she was very wrong.

"You three are late."

Mika felt as if she was back in high school; being scolded for being late to class because of Wakatoshi and Satori.

"Sorry, Coach," Wakatoshi said. "We were catching up outside."

"You already went against what I said when you brought her," Coach Tanō said, glaring at Mika, causing her to smile awkwardly. "Now you're late as well.

"Being a nationally famous volleyball player doesn't mean you can get away with things, Ushijima-kun."

Wakatoshi looked confused, but nodded.

"Everyone else got to bring their partners," Satori said, nodding towards Reon, who was standing with his fiancée. "Just pretend Mika is like that- except both me and Wakatoshi are in fact, gay."

Coach Tanō was taken aback for a second but cleared his throat.

"Well," he said. "Everyone, these are the alumni that were third-years, when our current third-years were first-years."

Coach Tanō finished up the introductions, to which then Satori, Wakatoshi, and Reon left to go change, Mika leaving to go sit on the side.

"Oyama-san!"

Mika turned around to see Goshiki standing there, his height making him a lot more intimidating.

"Hi," she said.

"Coach Tanō is unhappy that you're here," he said bluntly.

Mika raised an eyebrow. It hurt to have it said that bluntly to her, but it was the truth.

Although on the other hand, Mika had known Goshiki since before he started going to Shiratorizawa, so she knew they didn't have any qualms with talking to each other that directly.

"But," Goshiki continued, seeing her expression. "I'm glad you could make it, you and Semi-san were great examples to me."

Mika smiled, ignoring the pang she felt in her heart, along with the familiar empty feeling.

But there was a small light, making her life a little brighter.

"It's great to see you, Tsutomu," she said earnestly. "I'm glad we could've been such good examples to you. Eita would've loved to hear that from you."

Goshiki had a small smile on his face as he nodded, leaving to go be the captain of his team.

That left Mika to her thoughts.

To put it in short, she felt empty, like important part of her was gone.

It wasn't a new feeling, it was a feeling she always felt when remembering her other half.

The pang of sadness was gone though, which made the emptiness feel worse.

Emptiness.

Nothing else.

♪─☆彡─♪

"That's Oyama-san, right?" a first-year asked Kai Akakura, looking at Mika during the break between games.

To everyone else, Mika looked miserable. She was too lost in thought to pay attention, despite knowing what was going on, though, to others, it didn't look that way.

"Yeah, why?" Akaura said, stretching.

"Well, she came in looking happy, got told she wasn't wanted, now she looks sad," the first-year said. "It's sad, her smile is super infectious."

"She's thinking about one of our senpais," Goshiki said, walking up behind them. "Something happened right after she started college. She's overwhelmed with memories right now. If you want to know more, you would have to ask Tendō-san or Ōhira-san."

"She's thinking about Semi, isn't she," Reon asked, glancing at Mika.

"Probably," Wakatoshi said. "She told me that a lot of memories flood back when she's here."

Satori nodded, going to go talk to her until a couple of first-years started talking to him.

"Is Oyama-san okay?"

"We heard if we asked you, you would tell us what happened."

Satori did a double-take, not used to so many first-years trying to talk to him.

"Mika?" he asked, all of them nodding. Satori shared a look with Reon who gave him the signal he could share. "Well, she's thinking about her ex-boyfriend. He was on the volleyball team with us in high school."

"Semi Eita," Reon nodded. "He was the setter."

"Yeah, the two of them had been dating since their first year of high school," Satori said. "But around the second week of our first week of college, Eita got into a fatal car crash."

"Mika hasn't been able to let him go," Reon wrapped up. "Being here at Shiratorizawa brings back a lot of memories of the two of them together for her."

The energy of the group had gone bleak.

The first-years all bowed, then went back to their teams.

Reon and Satori shared another glance, knowing if Mika saw this, it was going to make things for her worse.

"Wakatoshi-"

Satori paused, realizing Wakatoshi was gone. He glanced around, finding him sitting next to Mika, comforting her.

Reon and Satori smiled solemnly, Wakatoshi had always been one step ahead of them.

♪─☆彡─♪

Mika wiped a tear as she finished the ritual, Satori handing her a tissue.

They were currently at Eita's haka (grave), finishing up the ritual.

Mika had thought that she would be able to keep it together while they did the ritual; that didn't end up being the case.

She still felt just as empty as she did when they were back at the school, but more emotions of guilt and sadness took over the emptiness inside of her.

When she finished, she stood up, looking at the grave. It had Eita's favorite flowers, along with some of his favorite green tea.

Mika took a step back, letting everyone else pray before she did.

She wanted to pray, but in the back of her mind, she felt awful about doing it, not feeling worthy of it.

But she ended up kneeling down.

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault," Mika muttered after she eventually said her prayer. "You should still be alive, Eita. I'm so sorry."

Mika stood up once again shortly after, the four of them hugged, not talking for a while, just being there for each other.

Eita had been special to all of them.

He had been Reon, Satori, and Wakatoshi's close friend, the one who was always there for them no matter what.

But he had also been Mika's first love, always there to make her laugh and feel butterflies.

He had been her sunshine.

Even without him, Mika still had people who had become the lights of her life; but none of them could compare to Eita.

He was the brightest light Mika had ever seen.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there as much as I should be," Reon said finally. "Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need anything, Mika. I'll always be here for you."

Mika smiled softly, wiping another tear off of her face.

Another small light brightened her world a little more.

"Don't be sorry," she said. "What you've done for me is already enough, but thank you, Reon."

They all stood there a while longer before Wakatoshi offered to treat them all to dinner.

"Big bucks Ushijima-san," Mika said, looking through the menu.

Wakatoshi had taken them to a restaurant that was more on the expensive side. One Mika would probably never get to go to again.

"I should've pursued volleyball," Mika sighed, despite the fact she didn't actually play volleyball in high school.

"It's not that expensive," Wakatoshi said, looking at the menu as well.

Mika stared at him, not sure he was reading the right menu.

"Is it because I'm poor," she joked with a sigh.

They all laughed.

"So, when are you going back to Higashiosaka?" Satori asked, back to his chipper self. "Because the next time you'll see me is before I go to Paris."

"Tomorrow morning," Mika smiled. "I have class on Monday and a lot of homework."

"Homework," Reon sighed. "It just piles up. Are your roommates at least on the quieter side when you're studying?"

Mika sighed, it was a tough question to answer.

"Usually," she said. "They talk a lot about boys. They've been hooked on this one new volleyball player who transferred- you know, I don't even think he's transferred yet. I can't remember his name, I just remember that his hair is two colors."

"You should find this dual-colored hair volleyball player," Satori said thoughtfully. "He's probably very cool and perhaps has a place for you to study at besides the library."

Mika snorted in laughter.

It was definitely out of her comfort zone, something she wouldn't actually do; but for Satori's sake, she said:

"Maybe I will, Satori."

bee's corner !!

oops i killed eita he's dead