A week ago I learned about the relationship between Youn and Wooseok and that Wooseok wants Youn to move in with him. And today Youn actually moved in with him. For the time being only on probation, because they first want to see if they still get along so well with each other, if they now see each other more than just a few hours in the evening and that every day.

But there is not much difference between before and now. I mean, they only saw each other in the evening before. Only now they can spend every night together. Before, they could only do that on the weekends. Well, even though I don't believe in love, I believe in Youn and hope that he and Wooseok will be happy and stay happy. He deserves to be happy.

However, I must also say that saying goodbye to him is much harder than I thought. Yesterday, when he came home from work in the evening, he brought me a huge cooler full of blood bags. Oh yes, this is all blood that has been sorted out and should be destroyed. So I'm not taking anyone's life-saving blood away from them.

Well, anyway, when I saw the box, I immediately realized that I probably won't see Youn for quite a while now. This made me feel sad inside, but also angry. After all, he had told me to be afraid that I would cut him out of my life if he confessed about Wooseok and moved out.

And then he brings me this really huge box full of blood, which clearly shows me that he doesn't plan to come here anytime soon. On top of that, he asked me, "Do you want to have a >>last<< evening together?" Does that mean we'll never have another evening together?

Although I actually have a new case involving adultery once again and wanted to pursue it that night, I agreed to his question and postponed my stakeout until that night tonight.

But somehow the mood was depressed that evening. I felt so tense all the time and just couldn't focus on enjoying this evening with my best friend. What was even worse was that, as the evening progressed, I was getting angrier and angrier inside.

Constantly I had to think of his departure, also I had to think of the words >>last evening together<<. And out of the corner of my eye I saw all the time this huge box, in which there was so much blood that I will surely get along with it for two or three months. And then when he asked me why I was sitting on the other side of the sofa and not laying my head on his lap and having my hair tickled like I usually do, I really had to bite my tongue not to say something I would have regretted afterwards.

And then he also asked me about Zhan, whom I was able to push out of my thoughts as best I could, at least on that day. Although Zhan had said on Sunday in the park that he would follow me everywhere, I hadn't seen him since. And he claimed to be in love with me after only one night! Is this what love looks like? Thank you no! With that he simply confirmed what I think of love. Namely nothing! Love does not exist, basta!

When Youn then asked me again why I don't cuddle up to him, I gushed: "Are you still okay? We can't do this anymore! You have a boyfriend and if you want to cuddle, then cuddle with him! I'm really not in the mood for one last cuddle together!"

Youn stared at me, startled, and asked, "What's wrong? Why are you so angry?"

With tears in my eyes, I replied angrily, "You said you were afraid I would cut you out of my life. But it looks like you're going to cut me out of your life after tonight!"

Youn jumped up from the sofa, came to me and grabbed me by both upper arms. He shook me briefly and wrapped me tightly in his arms. "Have you lost all your senses? How could I cut you out of my life? Yibo...how could you even think such a thing?"

Suddenly we were both crying like little children. I sobbed and said, "You said it was our last night together. You brought me so much blood that it's clear you don't want to come here for now. And I didn't think you'd move out within a week and leave me alone."

Youn let go of me and sat down on the sofa. He sat there speechless for at least two or three minutes, staring ahead. Tears kept running down his cheeks and when I had already given up on getting an answer from him and wanted to retreat to my room, he grabbed me by the wrist, pulled me to him and gave me a kiss!

I froze and didn't know how to react. Then he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I've wanted to do this for so long. Sorry. You're right, I wanted to get out of your way for now. But not forever. Just until my heart belongs only to Wooseok. I thought I was over you. Even when you spent the night with that werewolf, I thought I was over you. But when you were in my arms the next day after we talked, I felt that I still love you. I love you and Seoki. I am torn between you two. I need distance from you because otherwise I don't know what I'll do."

"How, how do you mean you don't know what you're going to do?"

But instead of answering me, he laid me down on the sofa and leaned over me. He stroked my cheeks and my lip. He leaned over and kissed me again. I wanted to resist, but I felt completely powerless. He lay on top of me and kissed me and my body felt so heavy. It reminded me of that day when that guy made me a vampire.

As Youn slid his hand inside my pants and to my cock, I somehow managed to say in a broken low voice, "No, don't do that Youn."

But Youn didn't seem to hear me at all. He kissed my neck and began to undress me. He whispered, "You don't know how long I've been longing to make love to you. To enjoy you." I just thought, this can't be true. This is not Youn!

Youn straightened up for a moment and took off his shirt. He took my hand and ran it over his chest and stomach. "Touch me Yibo honey. Touch me." He said and unzipped his pants.

My heart was hammering like crazy in my chest. I was completely powerless against him. Youn took off my pants and kissed me again. He touched me everywhere and moaned. He enjoyed touching me everywhere. And I let him. Suddenly my mind told me that I wanted it too. But why? Why all of a sudden? Just because I was afraid of losing my best friend? Was this how I was going to get him not to leave me?

Over and over again, the words echoed in my mind. I let it happen because I want it to happen. I even heard myself moaning and telling him to do it. And yet my eyes were watering. Why did I suddenly want him to make love to me so badly? Where did this desire come from?

Youn kissed my upper body and masturbated my cock. I moaned and cried at the same time. Everything was spinning and even though my mind was telling me I wanted it, it suddenly still didn't feel right. I heard myself saying, "Youn, stop it. This is not you. You don't want to do this."

But Youn shook his head and said, "Every day since I fell in love with you, I've dreamed of sleeping with you. Yibo, tonight you will be mine. Give me this one night with you."

"I, I can't. I don't want this." I replied.

Youn spread my legs and lay on top of me. While kissing me, he stroked the inside of my thigh. I felt how much this excited me. But still, still I didn't want it. Not like this. And something about Youn's look, about his eyes was different. This was not the Youn I had known for 15 years!

And then when he looked at me and smiled, I saw it. That red in his eyes. The red that means danger. Youn was really not himself anymore! But, what had happened? Why was he suddenly like that? Does he know what is going on with him and therefore planned this evening as the last evening together? Did he know what he was going to do beforehand? No, I don't think so. He would never plan something like that. He would never do something like that and intentionally hurt me!

But still, why couldn't I hate him at that moment? Why did I let him do it? Maybe because this was my Youn, my best friend whom I love more than anything? Maybe I knew he had no control over himself right now?

When Youn sat up for a moment and looked at me, he smiled and licked his lips. "You don't know how much you can drive one out of his mind with your cute looks and that body do you? And that look of yours just makes me want you all the more. Yibo, tonight you're all mine. For this one night be mine."

Then he lay back on top of me and entered me. I let him. I knew he was not himself. I knew Youn had lost control of himself. And I knew, at that moment, he was stronger than me. And I also knew I would never be able to hate him for it. Whoever made him a vampire was to blame. But not my Youn!

I let myself be completely involved with Youn and gave in to the urge of our two bodies. We slept together three times before he fell asleep in my arms and murmured that he loved me. I stroked his hair and closed my eyes.

And when I opened my eyes again, I was more than confused. The TV was playing the movie Youn and I had turned on. I was fully clothed and it had only been an hour since I last looked at the clock.

I was lying next to the sleeping Youn and my hand was on his head. What the hell had happened? Had I fallen asleep? Was I dreaming? I straightened up and touched my body. Everything was as it had been. When I went to wake Youn, I stroked his head and suddenly had images in my mind again, like the ones I had just had.

In my mind, I could see Youn making love to me. But, that had never happened. Not today and not ever! Is it possible that I could see his dream or his fantasy? Have I developed a new ability that allows me to see into his hidden thoughts?

When Youn woke up and I just stared at him, he got all red in the face and asked, "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Um nothing. It's okay. I just wanted to memorize your face because I don't think we'll see each other for a while now." I replied. I just couldn't address him on what I saw.

"As if. I'm going to come here at least once a week and spend time with you. Like I can stand not seeing my best friend for longer than that. I mean, a week is bad enough. But any longer than that? No way!"

"Oh um haha. I guess I misunderstood something then."

"Why?"

"Well, because of the large amount of blood bags you brought, I thought you weren't coming here for a while."

"Oh that. Mhhh, no. For some reason there was a blood donation event at a prison. But we can't use most of the blood because it's contaminated. And since it won't harm you, I brought it for you."

"I see."

"Uh-huh. You have a nice supply now. But that doesn't mean I won't still come here often."

"Then I'm reassured."

"Good. *yawn* I guess the evening is done. Sorry. I'm really tired and I'm going to go to sleep now. But if you want, we can share a bed tonight."

"Oh no that's alright. You go ahead and go to your bed. I'll stay awake for a while and look over the information on my new case again."

"Mmm, you do that. Don't take too much longer, though. Get a good night's sleep later. Love you Yibo."

"Love you too. Good night." I replied.

I just couldn't get the images out of my head. How could I share a bed with him? Mhhh, could this really be a new ability? Or was I just having a bad dream? And when did this even start? Why do I have no memory of how it even came to be that we were lying and sleeping on the sofa together?

Even today, one day later, I can't explain all this. I really need to find out more about my abilities.