Mpreg Special 14 - Memories of Grandpa Xiao

Four weeks after Grandpa Xiao passed away, Zhan and I started cleaning out his and Eve's room. We had asked her before she returned to her kingdom if she wanted to do it, but she said she was not able to and only took a few pictures of herself and Grandpa Xiao as souvenirs. With the rest we should do what we want.

It was also not easy for us to enter the room at first. Even though it had been 4 weeks since his death, it still felt as if he had just gone shopping and would be back any moment. The pain of his loss was still very great and we missed him every single day.

Still, we didn't want to put off cleaning out his room any longer, so we started. It was strange to enter it and find the bed still all as Grandpa Xiao had left it. Eve hadn't changed anything in the few days she stayed after his death. So it really looked like Grandpa Xiao was coming back home any moment.

We put all his clothes into boxes, since they were still as good as new, and we wanted to give them to the clothing donation. Which we did later. Everything else, we disposed of. Except for pictures, very personal things and a big box we found hidden under his bed with a stack of diaries in it. Memories of Grandpa Xiao that he had recorded throughout his life.

He didn't just write diaries, though; in each diary he wrote about someone else. And he only wrote about people he cared about. Like Zhan's parents, Zhan and his siblings, my brother, and yes, a diary about me. And somehow I had to smile when I saw that he wrote only a few pages about my brother, but two whole diaries full about me. And there was a full diary about our sons.

We decided to give or send the diaries to the respective people and kept only the diaries about us and our sons. We put away the diary about our sons and we want to give it to them later when they are old enough and understand what is written there.

Zhan and I read the diaries about us with one laughing eye and one crying eye. Many of the things that Grandpa Xiao wrote in the diaries I didn't even remember, so I was even happier to be able to reminisce about them thanks to Grandpa Xiao. Other things he wrote were really very interesting.

For example, he wrote in the first diary, "Today my dear grandson Zhan was once again visiting here with my dear Yibo. I was very happy because they told me that they are going to be officially mated. Even though Yibo doesn't know it, I already followed him all his life and always looked after him. I always felt sorry for the boy back then. Always lonely and alone and with that sad look. It got better when he found a friend and spent a lot of time with him, but you could still see how unhappy he was. But since he's been with Zhan, he's really blossomed and is just beaming. His smile and bright eyes are just heartwarming. He is a great young man. So adorable, wonderful, smart, sweet and polite. How could I not be happy that he will soon be officially part of our family? For me, he has always been secretly part of our family anyway."

Or what I also found beautiful was: "My dear Yibo is now already six months pregnant and already has a huge belly. No wonder with twins. Today he spent the day with me because Zhan had to catch up on some work and didn't have time. In the morning we went to the garden and planted some flowers. After that, like almost every day, we went for a walk for an hour. When we got back, we cooked together and in the afternoon we watched some TV in the living room. My dear Yibo cuddled up to my shoulder and let me cuddle him until he fell asleep. My dear Yibo and I are very close. For him I am a kind of surrogate dad or surrogate grandpa with whom he can cuddle and talk about everything and always get advice. I love this wonderful boy and I like to be for him whatever he needs. A dad, a grandpa, it doesn't matter. I am always there for my dear Yibo."

I think that also showed how close he and I were. How deep our connection was and why that made it so hard for me to say goodbye to him. Harder than it was with my father. But thanks to Zhan and our children, I quickly got better. After two weeks I could laugh heartily again. That's how Grandpa Xiao would have wanted it.

Also, Zhan gave me advice on how to say goodbye to Grandpa Xiao in my own way. I didn't expect it to help, but it did. Namely, Zhan advised me to write letters to Grandpa Xiao and write in them what I had always wanted to say to him or what I couldn't come to anymore. And I wrote and wrote and burned the letters afterwards, in the presence of Zhan and our children. After that, I started to feel relieved and much more at ease.

So after we cleaned out Grandpa Xiao and Eve's room, we repainted the walls and made it a big playroom for the kids. The boys were totally thrilled because now they even have a swing in the room. For Wangji, we put up a small children's desk where he can continue to practice writing. And for Ying, we painted a wall with blackboard paint where he can now draw with chalk to his heart's content. We have also already set up a play corner for Shenmi in the playroom. A castle for princesses and lots of stuffed animals. But she can't do anything with that yet.

Shenmi, affectionately called Mi by her brothers, is now 9 months old and already crawls around the house like a pro. It seems to me that she is developing faster than her brothers. Already, she keeps pulling herself up on furniture like our living room table, holding onto it with both hands, and bobbing up and down excitedly while laughing loudly.

Wangji and Ying only started crawling when they were almost 11 months old and did not dare to take their first steps on their own until they were 13 months old. They were really lazy about it and preferred to lie on the floor or roll around. Shenmi, however, seems to want to learn to walk quickly. Probably to be able to follow us even better.

Most of all she follows her brothers. The three of them are really close and spend all the time together. Or she crawls after me all the time. When she sees her dad, she doesn't want to crawl. Then she always wants to be lifted up by him and be in his arms. But it was the same with Wangji and Ying. They both always wanted to be carried around by their dad, too.

Shenmi is also babbling a little now. Whenever she sees me or wants my attention, she calls out loud "Mam" or if she wants something from Zhan, she calls out "Dada". Wangji and Ying are trying to teach her to say their names. But of course she can't do that yet.

The three of them also sleep in one room. Although Shenmi has her own room, she always sleeps in her brothers' room. We had to put her crib in there. Because when we put her to sleep and she didn't see her brothers, she always started crying immediately and only stopped when she was with Wangji and Ying in the room.

But that is the only time she cries. She is always happy, bright and full of energy. She only cries when she can't find her brothers. Then she is always quite desperate and heartbroken.

And unlike her brothers, Shenmi had blue eyes from birth. And in the past few months, they have turned ice blue. When she looks you in the eyes with them, it feels like she's looking right into your soul. And so far, she hasn't turned once. So we don't know if she is also a little white wolf like her dad and brothers.

Zhan thinks, since she takes after me a lot, that she might be like me. If only because of her eyes. My eye color only changes when I turn, but her eyes are the same as mine. Also, she has a strand of white hair on the back of her head and it looks like she's going to get more white hair.

Everyone who saw Shenmi for the first time, or sees her now, immediately says that she looks like me, only in female. I wish we could somehow contact Eve to have her take a look at Shenmi and examine her. Maybe she could find out more.

But Eve is still in her world. She lives there in seclusion to grieve appropriately in an elven way. Whatever that means. She's been gone for months now, and we don't even know if she'll be back anytime soon. The other elves had also not been back since then. Which makes Wangji and Ying especially sad, because they miss their two elf friends and would like to play with them again.

Zhan and I have already tried to use the crystal to make contact with the elf world. But we haven't been able to do it. We don't really know how to do it. So far, Eve has always made contact. I hope she will come back someday. Even if it is only for a short visit. We miss her and for us she remains a part of the family.

In three months when Shenmi is one year old, Zhan and I will fly to Beijing with the children. There will be another class reunion and this time I want to attend. It may be the last chance to see them all. We are going to have a professional make up done so that we look our age.

Afterwards we will spend a few days on the family farm and then we want to go on vacation with our children. We want to go to the Caribbean once again. Wangji and Ying want it so much. It was planned anyway, but not until their 5th birthday. It is hard to believe that they will be 5 years old this year. Time seems to fly by.

And even though our sons can't wait to get older and taller, Zhan and I hope that they will remain our little boys for quite a while. Right now they are in such a sweet stage that I would love it to last longer. They are so sweet and cuddly and constantly want to help me with everything.

Where Zhan was right again was that our boys would be protective over their little sister. When we are out with the kids, like in town shopping, they are always careful that no one gets too close to the stroller. But also when we have visitors. No matter who comes, even if it's grandma and grandpa, they are not allowed to touch Shenmi until the boys agree.

And as if Shenmi would understand exactly what her brothers are doing, she doesn't crawl further through in the house, but sits down behind her brothers and waits calmly until they let the visitors through to her.

Personally, I think this is over the top how the boys react. But in the pack this is perfectly normal, as Zhan and my in-laws told me. And I am also not allowed to forbid the boys to do this in any case. Since this belongs to the instincts of the wolf.

But Zhan and my in-laws also calmed me down and explained that it would go away after a while. They would continue to protect Shenmi from everything and everyone, but they wouldn't be so extreme once she was a little taller and could walk properly. Because then she could also run away in an emergency.

A/N: I was thinking that maybe the next chapter should be the last chapter of this book. But I am not sure yet. I'm having fun coming up with something for this story. But I also don't want to drag it out pointlessly. Especially since it already has 62 chapters. 62!!! At the beginning I thought it wouldn't even be 30 chapters.