Although I had decided not to stay too long outside in the daylight, I stayed outside for two hours thanks to Zhan. To my delight, it had started to snow and thus my eyes were not irritated by the sun's rays.

I must say, these two hours with Zhan were quite pleasant. I was even allowed to drink from his blood again. And when I did it and felt his warm blood flowing through my veins and warming my body, I actually felt the winter cold for a few minutes. I was really freezing and even shivering.

Zhan then wrapped me in his jacket and even as the effect of his blood wore off, thanks to him and his jacket, I could still feel the comforting warmth while the wind and snowflakes made my face feel the cold. I felt like a human being again!

After those two hours, during which we didn't really talk much because Zhan kept kissing me for a long time, it was time for me to go home and see if Youn and Wooseok had made up. I offered Zhan to accompany me, but he said he wanted to go somewhere else. Apparently to do some research. You know, he's a 29-year-old history major.

As he said goodbye, he hugged me to him and said, "I'll see you again soon my cute little vampire. Until then, be good."

I shook my head and replied, "You don't have to tell me that. I'm always good."

"Well, I was more talking about not drinking other people's blood."

"So only exclusively from you yes?"

"Exactly."

"Mhhh, I was planning to do that anyway."

"Oho is that so?"

"Yes. No blood tastes more delicious than yours."

"That's because my blood is pure. I come from a long line of a pure bloodline of werewolves."

"So you were born a werewolf?"

"Yes. And because my blood is so pure, it tastes so good to you. And it also has the effect of keeping me from smelling like a wet dog."

"That's right. You smell delicious and your blood is super yummy."

"Well, don't forget that until we meet again."

"I won't."

"Ahhh, sigh, I miss you already."

"Zhan!"

"What?"

"Alright. And I'll certainly miss your blood."

"Definitely, in fact. Now go home my cute little vampire. I'll see you again soon."

"Mmm. See you soon." I replied, still clutching Zhan. I hadn't even noticed that I had my arms around him as well. I slowly released my arms from his body, then he gave me another kiss on the forehead and left. Why did I suddenly feel so lonely from then on?

I slowly walked home and yawned several times. I was so incredibly tired that I could have fallen asleep standing up. I just hoped that I would finally get to sleep. And at the same time, I wondered why Zhan first said he would follow me everywhere from now on, and yet when we said goodbye, he couldn't tell me when we would meet again?

When I arrived at the apartment, it was quiet. I listened at Youn's room door and heard two breathing sounds. As quiet as their breathing had sounded, I knew they were asleep. I wanted to throw open the door and yell them out of bed. How dare they sleep in peace while I couldn't sleep when I wanted to because they were fighting?

I retreated to my room and lay down on my bed. I closed my eyes and still couldn't fall asleep right away. I kept thinking about Zhan for a while and what we were talking about. He asked me why I didn't believe in love but at the same time was happy that Youn had a boyfriend.

Honestly, I didn't have an answer for that. I just said that Youn was just different and I knew he could do it. But somehow that just sounded like an excuse. I didn't want to talk about love at all. Because I haven't seen any real love so far. Even my poor big brother became a victim of his feelings and still suffers from it, almost 7 years later.

My brother, he is 10 years older than me, was a hot actor and a popular model until 7 years ago. He was a brand spokesperson for many different brands. He was on TV and magazines all the time. Everybody loved him. And then he fell in love with a man who ripped his heart out of his chest. This man not only published that the two of them were in a relationship, he also sold private photos of the two of them and screenshots of their private text messages.

And that was the end of my brother's career. He was banned as an actor and model in this country and is no longer allowed to appear anywhere in public. It turned out that the man he was with just wanted to take advantage of him to enrich himself. He sold all the details about my brother's very private and intimate relationship with him.

For six months they were a couple and my brother was very happy. He even talked about great love. And then this happened to him. Now he lives lonely and withdrawn in the country in America and hardly talks. And when he does say something, it's just that love doesn't exist and you can't trust anyone.

And my parents are also a good example. They had been married for 32 years. When you saw them together, you always thought they were still in love with each other. But then 8 years ago, I had just finished school, I came home from an appointment when they revealed to me that they had divorced.

I was totally shocked. Even more so when they said they never really loved each other. Apparently, they only chose each other because there hadn't been enough reasonable choices at the time. Moreover, they revealed to me that they had also already sold the house and used some of the money to buy me my own apartment. Because both of them would move abroad. My mom was moving to America and my dad was moving to Hungary.

Oh, and then there are my grandparents. Their marriages didn't last either. My mom's parents divorced after 24 years of marriage. And my dad's parents divorced after 17 years of marriage. So how could I believe in love there?

But somehow, even though I don't like to admit it, Zhan seems to have awakened in me a tiny bit of hope that maybe love does exist. Without being able to explain how he did it, I just know there is now this very quiet voice inside me that really hopes that one day I will find love and not lose it again.

I was finally about to escape into the land of dreams when I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. I cursed inwardly, wondering why everyone else was allowed to sleep but me? What was the problem with allowing myself at least a few hours of sleep? I asked, "yes?" and Youn came into my room.

Youn sat down on the bed with me and said, "Sorry for keeping you awake earlier with our argument and driving you away." He handed me a cup of warmed blood and I took a sip of it, but it didn't taste nearly as good as Zhan's. And I wasn't really hungry either. Still, I drank it down dutifully.

"Yeah, you guys were pretty annoying." I finally replied.

Youn wiped my mouth clean with a tissue and explained, "You must have heard, right? I mean that he and I are in a relationship and he wants me to move in with him."

"Yes I did. And I don't understand how you could keep something so important from me? And why did you say to him you can't move out because I need you?"

"You and I, we've been best friends since we were 10 years old. We have what I would call a very special relationship with each other. Even more so since we've both been on our own. You know how much I love you and how much I enjoy being with you, spending time talking together, or watching a movie in the evening while you lay your head on my lap and I scratch your head. You're not just my best friend, you're my baby sometimes. And yes, maybe you don't need me except to bring you your blood. But Yibo, I need you. I admit, I'm head over heels in love with Wooseok and I like having a relationship with him. I've wanted to tell you so many times, but I'm afraid that if I do, you'll push me further away from you. I know you well enough and I know you would withdraw from me more and more. And I couldn't bear that. Not from you!" Said Youn, with tears in his eyes.

I hugged Youn and said, "Youn, you are my everything. You always have been. I could never and would never withdraw from you. Remember how selfish I am when it comes to you. Although I knew at the time that you had feelings for me that I could not return, I could not and would not do without you. Yes, we had and have a very special relationship with each other. That's why everyone always thought that you and I were a couple. But I don't want you to miss your chance at love by telling yourself that I can't get along without you. You may not live here anymore, but that doesn't mean you'll disappear from my life because of it. I'll still be your best friend, and I'll still expect you to scratch my head when we watch a movie together. But only if Wooseok doesn't mind, of course. I like him. He's very good for you. He's sweet and kind. So don't mess up and jump into love."

"Are you serious Yibo? You're not going to shut me out like you did your own parents and brother?"

"I'm absolutely serious about that. My door is always open for you."

"You tell me Yibo. You do know that I've been in love with you for a whole 6 years right?"

"*Cough* I um didn't realize that."

"Well, that's what happened. That only ended two years ago. But because you were always so affectionate and wanted to cuddle with me all the time, it was still no problem for me and rather a nice time. I enjoyed it very much. Especially when we spent the night together and you always snuggled up to me."

"Wow, I didn't know that. I thought since Japan..."

"I loved you before Japan, during Japan, and after. Until I finally realized two years ago, no matter how hard I try, I'll only ever be your best friend to you."

"I really was blind."

"Yeah you could say that. And did you know you used to kiss my neck in your sleep? You clung to me like a monkey and kissed my neck. And a couple of times you even gave me hickeys."

"Um...well..."

"That werewolf you were talking about. Well, could he possibly be the one you've always been waiting for? I know you don't believe in love anymore. But, maybe he could be..."

"Youn I like him and the sex with him was really amazing. But... mhhh... how should I say? A relationship with him, that could never go well. And I don't have those kind of feelings for him."

"Yibo, you should be more honest with yourself. I don't know anyone who is looking for love more than you. Even if you don't realize it yourself, but you are longing for someone who can reach your heart and love you as you are. And maybe the werewolf is the solution. Try not to manipulate yourself by telling yourself there is no love. Be open to it."

"I don't know. Right now I'm too tired to think about it, too."

"Do you want me to lie with you for a while until you fall asleep?"

"You'd better go back to Wooseok. Not that he'll think anything wrong yet."

"He left when I came to you."

"Oh well then."

"I'll just lie with you until you fall asleep. I know that's the best way to help you when your head is full of stuff again."

"Mmm." I replied. He lay down behind me and wrapped his arms around me. And it didn't take two minutes and I was asleep. Maybe I do need Youn more than I thought.