CHAPTER 26
MOTIVES

AFTER Poe and Indira found a lost Finn just outsider the hangar of the Raddus, they escorted him back to his chambers to retrieve some formal clothing. Finn had been in the Resistance's intensive care unit more times than he could count. After the attack on Starkiller Base, Finn was left in a coma for a few months. Before she had left to find Luke Skywalker, Rey had kissed his forehead and that was the last time she saw him since she left for her training. Finn ended up in the intensive care unit again after receiving a few blaster wounds to the chest from Raena Nhagy's invasion of the base months ago.

It was weird for Finn to now see Raena part of the team, but he guessed he could understand her motives. She wasn't here to fight with the Resistance. She was here to kill Kylo Ren. Her motivations were plain and simple, but they caused an uneasy feeling to rise in Finn's stomach when he saw her hours after walking out of intensive care. Finn reported immediately to the general, but managed to catch the assassin's eye as she walked by him. He was somewhat uncomfortable.

Once Poe got a slap to the face for his idiotic moves from General Organa, he was technically – not officially – demoted. He'd give Leia time to cool down, and with that time, he had Indira repair the fuel flask in his ship, which had started to leak from the dreadnaught attack. After she finished her job – which, with Indira, didn't take that long – the two made their way to the mess hall. Their hands had just brushed up against each other's, because as much as they wanted to be open with their relationship, the two would always be a more closed-off couple. And there was nothing wrong with that.

They got a casserole-like substance put on their trays, leaving both Poe and Indira to question if they were really hungry or not. Turns out, they were, so the couple grabbed a couple forks to find out what the strange food tasted like. Since Indira didn't spot her usual friends around, they were on their way to sit at an empty today before she saw Raena Nhagy sitting by herself in the corner. Indira frowned, and nudged Poe to follow her over to Raena's table. "Nhagy's a weirdo, Indira," he whispered as they walked.

Indira rolled her eyes. "Raena is a new friend to me and just as important to the Resistance as you are, fly boy. Respect goes both ways."

With a sigh, Poe followed her steps until they reached the assassin's table. Indira smiled softly towards Raena, who was scarfing down a bowl of telter noodles. "Hey, Raena," Poe muttered as they sat down across from her.

Raena rubbed the palms of her hands into her eyes. "Hi," she sighed longingly.

"Why do you seem so upset?" Indira asked, taking a bite of the strange food on her tray. It definitely had some kind of meat in it. "Telter noodles can make anyone happy."

Raena finally looked up towards her friend and rested her chin in her hand. She was definitely sleep-deprived. Anyone could see that. "I didn't sleep last night," she replied. "I had a meeting with the general yesterday, and I just kept thinking about it all night."

Poe dropped the fork that has resided in his hands. "You had a meeting with the general?"

Indira elbowed him in the gut, silencing him immediately before turning back to Raena. "Is it confidential?"

"Kind of," Raena muttered, swirling around the slightly-cooked noodles and vegetables on her plate. Could she tell them? Probably not. General Organa didn't say if the mission was classified or not, but Raena guessed it was. Nevertheless, she was dying to get input on it. She had to meet with Leia again by the end of today with her decision, and she still hadn't made one yet. Leave it to Raena to get the opportunity that she wanted, only to become a coward once it was offered.

The table reeked of silence. Poe and Indira didn't really know what to say after Raena's reply, so they began to eat the casserole on their plates. From the looks on their faces, it must have been disgusting.

After a few minutes, Raena finally blurted: "The general wants me to go back to the First Order."

The food in Poe and Indira's mouths suddenly flew out, but Indira was the only one to catch it with her hand. Both of them looked at her with wide eyes, shock plastered on their faces. "What?!" Indira exclaimed, her mouth hanging open.

Poe lowered his voice to a whisper. "That's something I can't believe the general would ask."

"She wants me to infiltrate them," Raena whispered. "Gain information on their next moves so the Resistance is prepared for their next strike. We haven't been doing so well since Rey left to find Luke Skywalker. General Hux had given me Cornelius Evazan's reanimation serum that he said he kept for 'the right time.' I think he did it because he knew Commander Ren had to kill me to complete his training, and he still needed me for the First Order. He thought that once I was resurrected, I would go back to them."

"That explains why they didn't burn your body after your death," Poe said, connecting the facts together. "Usually, that's what would happen to remove the evidence. Although, everyone in the Resistance was told that the First Order assassin was just lost in space."

Raena nodded slowly. "They dumped my body on Takadona while General Hux waited for me to wake up and come back to them." The memories from just a few months prior caused a ripple of anger within her, but she dared not to show it. Raena collected herself again. "I have different motives now, but that doesn't mean that I'm not strong enough to break into their systems again for info. They'll want me back. They trust me enough."

"They'll trust you enough to not know that all you want to do is kill their commander?" Indira asked with a raised brow.

"Precisely," Raena replied.

Poe's eyes flickered to Indira. "So ... are you gonna do it? This mission will help out the Resistance tremendously. Gods, I can't believe the general hadn't requested it before."

Raena's mouth opened to answer, but she closed it quickly. Truthfully, she was at a loss for words. She really didn't know her answer, but from her friends' responses, it seemed like the plan was encouraged. Could she really put herself through the First Order's torture again for the sake of the Resistance? She wasn't really part of the Resistance anyways, at least that's what she thought. The Resistance was shelter, but she had other purposes to strive for. Nevertheless, going on this mission would bring her one step closer to accomplishing her goal.

"I don't know," she finally replied, looking back down at the telter noodles on her tray.

Indira placed her fork down, meeting Raena's eyes with a knowing glare. "I think you know what to do."

"No, I don't," Raena scoffed, putting a hand up. "Clearly, I'm distressed about this because I don't know what to do."

"You know you need to go, Raena." The other girl replied, leaning over the table with a pointed finger out. "You're going to tell me that all this time you've been boasting how you're going to kill Kylo Ren that when you're given the chance, you're going to cower away? Huh? Really?"

Raena swallowed hard, and as much as she tried to hide the discomfort within her, the expression on her face truly showed it. "I gotta go," she muttered, picking up her tray of unfinished telter noodles and quickly walking away from the table. She was beginning to feel sweaty, and it was very obvious as to why. Raena knew the decision had been made for her. Maybe she was too much of a coward to face it.

As Raena exited the mess hall, Poe turned to Indira was a dumbfounded look. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"Because I'm right," Indira replied, "and she knows it."

•••

Just like the night before, Raena knew sleep was never going to happen. She had tried to go to bed early. She got comfortable in her bed, pulling the sheets over her head. Raena was engulfed in warmth and pure darkness, but she was still shifting from side to side. She just couldn't get comfortable, and even though all she craved was to dream, she found herself staying awake from the fear of having a nightmare.

The last one she had took place a few days prior. She had been dreaming to life back on Takodona, where everything was fresh, and green, and alive. A place where things were simpler. A place where Raena lost her parents, but she still felt their peaceful presence throughout the whole planet. She dreamt of Maz holding her tightly as explosions echoed outside their castle. Raena's ears had been ringing loudly, causing her to not hear every word Maz was uttering. She tried holding onto Maz for as long as she could before she was pulled away. Her warm skin met metal as Raena was dragged off the island, tears springing from her eyes. It took all but Raena waking up to realize she hadn't had a nightmare. She had simply dreamed of a memory.

Raena clutched her chest, feeling for her heartbeat. It was going fast. She looked to her clock, realizing that the time was still early in the night. Determination flashed across her features, and soon enough, Raena was getting herself dressed and exiting her bedroom.

She was going to accept Leia's mission, and with this, Raena would finally complete a mission of her own.