CHAPTER 20
FORGIVENESS

WARNING: SEXUAL SITUATIONS

HE was always with her, even in her dreams.

Drifting off into sleep, Raena's mind sped with memories of the three nights she spent with Kylo in pure bliss, the times when they were completely care-free. She remembered the smirk she gave him when she left him for the first time in a day to shower. He had given her a frown from his spot on his bed, but she was never weak enough to fall for that.

Even as the official assassin of the First Order, Raena never got her own bath room, and she found herself marveling at Kylo's as she got undressed. She always had to use the disgusting public showers, so she was just a bit jealous.

She turned on the shower head with a switch, noticing the water coming from all angles to rinse her body clean. As she stepped in, she felt the wave of heated water wash away all the worries that were trying to creep up her skin. It was almost as if they were fingers crawling up her spine, and she smacked them away - quite literally.

That was when she noticed her metaphor was wrong. Kylo had been sneaking into the shower from behind.

She let out a low gasp, shoving his shoulder the slightest bit. "You can't just do that," she complained.

He rose a brow. "Did I scare you?"

"Keep dreaming," she smirked wickedly, fighting the urge to eye his bareness.

A fire flashed across her eyes, he noticed, before his digits began prodding amongst her body, sending tingles through her system at every touch. Soon enough, his mouth ravaged her own, and Raena felt a shock wave of electricity flow from her head to her toes.

His hands continued to wander all over her nakedness as he pushed her back against the tiled wall. His tongue tangled with her own, filling up every area of her being as she wrapped her legs around his torso. Without warning, she felt his member pound her core and she soon found her fingers curling into his scalp.

The water cascaded down on their heads, making it harder for them to hold onto each other, but Kylo always had a rhythm and it was built on Raena screaming his name.

Needless to say, they didn't get as clean as they wanted.

•••

She woke up with an overbearing ache in the back of her neck, and it was then that Raena noticed the cause was that she had leaned it back too far.

The assassin looked down, realizing that she was strapped in a wooden chair in an isolated room, torn rope securing her wrists and legs together. The room was so cold, even with her heavy abundance of dark layers. Raena started to shiver as she bit her lip, wondering how she'd get out of this situation.

I mean, the last time she'd been captured was two years ago by the First Order, and we all know how well that escape went. She wasn't really known for getting away from kidnappers.

But it was then that she realized how worn out the rope around her was, and she began fighting against the restraints binding her. This was the Resistance, so she was surprised at their lack of advanced technology to hold prisoners.

As she rubbed her hands around the rope – surely getting a burn in the process – she looked up, noticing the door in front of her opening.

In walked quite a handsome man, with tanned skin that suggested he saw the sun too often and short, dark hair. Raena's brow rose at his choice of outfit: a long, orange jumpsuit with a white vest attached. How was he not cold? That seemed to be the only thought filling her mind: the chill in the air.

"Morning, Princess," he grinned, taking a seat on the stone floor below her. She noticed the tray of food in his hands, and if her own weren't tied, she would've grabbed it from him before he could blink.

Raena stared at him with a blank expression as he took a sip from the cup that she guessed contained orange juice. "I was ordered to give you your breakfast," he announced, his voice piercing her throbbing ears, "because apparently, I have no other job here."

He picked up one of the severely burnt pieces of toast on the tray (though Raena would eat anything at the moment) and held it up to her mouth until she finally opened it. "My name's Poe," he greeted, watching her chew. "What's yours?"

She glanced at him before continuing to finish the toast.

"Not a talker, eh? General Organa will get something out of you." He plucked the other piece of toast and shoved it in her mouth, allowing the assassin to savor the burnt flavor.

They sat in an uncomfortable silence as she ate, until Poe finally spoke up again, "I'm a pilot. Actually, I've been told to be the best pilot in the Resistance. Isn't that neat?"

Raena had to admit, being the best pilot on the base was a huge honor, but while being tied up, she couldn't care less.

"So, I've been told you're the big, bad First Order assassin. How many people have you killed?"

Silence.

"A lot, I'm gonna go with a lot." He leaned the cup of juice into her mouth, but stopped to let her digest it. "The general told me you worked with us once, back in the day when you and your uncle were the famous bounty hunter duo among the Western Reaches. I was around the same age as you at that time, but I'd always wanted to meet a Nhagy. You guys were badass.

"And then you ... gave it all up, right?" He shook his head, letting her have another sip. "Your uncle was a good man, I heard, before he died. But when the First Order captured you, you just wanted to save your own ass?"

He stood up, growing angry at the assassin not answering. How could he have looked up to such a ... monster?

"You were such a helpful asset to the Resistance. What brought you to the dark side?"

She knew what it was, but she'd never tell him. She'd never tell anyone about her love for the man they feared most.

Raena's mouth stayed in a thin line.

"This is useless," the pilot muttered, just at the same time the door swung open.

The assassin's eyes laid on someone familiar: the scavenger girl's friend. She was told that he was working with the Resistance now, but she still wondered why. Raena knew he was once a stormtrooper — what made him leave?

"General Organa wants to see the prisoner," the dark-skinned male called to his friend before his eyes rested on Raena. His face was stone-cold as he said, "Hello again."

Raena gave the former stormtrooper a fake smirk as Poe ushered her to another part of the base. It would've been wise to blindfold her, because dragging her around just let her devise more ways to escape.

•••

The other male, who Raena now knew was named Finn, held open a tightly sealed door for Poe, who launched the assassin in the room and plopped her on another wooden chair. He moved her arms behind the chair again, making it difficult to undo the already terrible restraints.

"Try not to talk too much," he grinned, getting a laugh out of Finn before they both left the strange room.

She noticed she was in a lab of some sort, with stations and monitors littered about the room. Trash was thrown in the corners and dirt coated the machines, leaving Raena to guess this was an abandoned room. It was also cold. Again.

She wanted to close her eyes, but she knew sleep wasn't a virtue at the moment for her as the Resistance general strode into the dusty room.

Leia stopped in her tracks as her eyes connected with the assassin's. "Have you had enough to eat?"

Raena nodded, keeping her face emotionless.

"Good," the general nodded, grabbing a stool and dusting it off. She pulled it in front of Raena and sat, her aged eyes staring at hers for a long minute. "Why'd you come here again?"

The silence was deafening.

"I know you were ordered to kill me." She answered for the assassin. "You already killed one of my best captains."

Raena looked down.

"Did my son send you?" She then asked, and Raena gave her a confused expression. "Don't act like you don't know; everyone does."

Leia sighed at the silence, shaking her head. "C'mon, talk to me. There's no use of meeting you if you won't at least talk."

Raena couldn't stare at the general for a long time, afraid that she'd see Kylo before her. The resemblance haunted her like a nightmare.

The assassin finally cleared her throat, finding her voice hoarse as she replied, "It was Commander Ren's orders."

"Why?"

Raena shrugged.

"Dammit!" The general smacked her head, growing frustrated. "Do you even have a hunch?"

She couldn't believe she was defying against all her morals to answer this woman, but at this point, she'd do anything to get out without killing his mother.

"My guess is that it was his trainer's orders," she responded quietly, clearing her throat once again.

Leia rubbed her temples as the assassin waited patiently for her reply. The general soon looked up, staring into Raena's honey eyes before she could look away. The aged woman could finally see it then: the lightness in her eyes, the rosiness to her cheeks – she knew him well.

"Do you care for my son?" Leia paused. "Are you more loyal to him than you should be? Is that why you couldn't kill me?"

Raena's eyes grew wide. She was completely taken aback from her question – how could she have realized?

"You don't have to tell me. I already know." She waved away the comment with her hand. "Do you know the story of Ben Solo?"

Raena looked to the side, staring at anything but Leia. It was her eyes; she knew it – they were giving her away.

Leia continued, "He was my son, a boy with incredible Force-sensing abilities that ended up murdering –"

"I know the story," Raena muttered, her teeth clenched.

"Then why haven't you learned from it?"

The assassin shrugged. She didn't want to say; she couldn't say it. But Leia already knew.

"It seems like you haven't learned from the story of Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala either." The general shook her head with a sigh at the memory of her own parents. "By loving my son, you realize this shall be your downfall?"

Raena scoffed. "Why does everyone keep comparing me to someone as naïve as –"

"Does he love you the way you love him?" Leia sat back in her seat, interrupting without hesitation. "I thought he was incapable of such a thing. The Light is returning to him, isn't it?"

Raena sighed, "I don't want to answer that."

"Is it because it's true?"

The blonde stared at her.

"What is your first name?"

"Raena," she spoke quickly before she could stop herself.

Leia smiled softly. "Well, Raena," she huffed, "good luck to you."

Before she could ask what the general meant, she noticed her standing up and directing a couple guards in the room. "Let her go," she ordered as they started undoing the ropes.

"What?" Raena seethed, looking down at her untied wrists and legs. "Why are you –?"

"I need you to send a message back to my son," Leia replied, rubbing at the cut that reopened on the assassin's head. "I need you to tell him that I ..." She paused as her eyes locked with the young girl in front of her. "Tell him that I forgive him."

"I promise," Raena nodded, soon being whisked away by the guards to the entrance of the base.

Leia hoped that the next time she heard of Raena Nhagy that it wouldn't be of her death. The general knew such wholesome goodness resonated within her, but it was just clouded by the darkness her son had caused. The girl was villainous, though not by nature.

General Organa couldn't stop her racing thoughts then, because at that moment, she knew if the girl returned with news that she didn't fulfill her orders, death was indeed upon her.

And in that moment, Leia knew that history was forever doomed to be repeated.

•••

A/N: That's the best smut you're gonna get from me bc writing that made me very uncomf and awkward