CHAPTER 31
THE VICTIM

RAENA Nhagy and Kylo Ren stood in the elevator, side-by-side. There was an inch gap between their shoulders, and as much as Raena wanted to move even farther from him, she stayed right where she was, watching the entrance with ease. She looked below her feet, noticing the commander's familiar helmet on the ground and crushed in two. She wondered how she hadn't noticed that before.

The elevator glided down the ship's levels, but Raena couldn't stop from feeling his eyes on her. She swallowed hard, wishing to ignore it. It was difficult though, especially with a stare so intense that she thought he was burning holes into her jacket. Raena's teeth clenched as she whispered, "Stop staring at me."

Instantly, Kylo's stare went elsewhere. Raena released a large breath through her nose. The elevator doors opened, revealing the command area of the ship. Raena's eyes darted around the bustling area, and she walked forward to find the small corner room where the uniforms were kept. Before she could take a step further, Kylo was dragging her down a dark corridor, leading her away from the light.

"What –" She ripped her sleeve away from his hold. "What are you doing?!"

Kylo found her easily in the darkness. She felt his breath hit her cheeks, and the familiar scent made her feel uneasy. Her whole body was shaking, and it got even worse when he hugged her. His arms wrapped around her like a warm blanket, engulfing her in the darkness around them. For a moment, Raena enjoyed the familiar feel of his arms, and it actually made her lip quiver. But that feeling was over in a matter of seconds, and she quickly pushed him away.

"What is wrong with you?" She whispered loudly. "Why are you acting like this?"

"I –"

Raena put up a hand. "Forget it, I don't want to hear the bullshit you have to say," she continued. "You're going to listen to me now, okay?"

His hand was on her right arm as he replied, "Okay."

She yanked his large hand away. "Get ahold of yourself," she seethed, "Ben."

Even in the darkness, she felt his presence sway from her. That's exactly what she wanted. She couldn't see him, but she knew his stare was angry. It was suffocating her.

"Do you know what you did to me?" She whispered in a harsh voice. "No, you don't. Because you're a fucking idiot. You could've done so much more, but you fell into the Supreme Leader's trap. Don't take this as a compliment – but you have more power than you know. You could've stopped all of this and started a new world, one without the Supreme Leader. But you couldn't, because you're a weak, pathetic –"

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH IN THAT MOMENT!" His booming voice made her bones go crooked, and she felt him in front of her again. "Do you think I wanted to kill you? Seriously, is that what you think? Because you're wrong. I did it to become the leader I was born to be."

Raena's frown turned menacing, though she felt her eyes well up with tears. "You said you cared about me. If you love someone, you don't fucking kill them." She shoved him backwards again, causing him to stumble. "You lied."

Kylo tsked under his breath. "Our whole relationship was based on a lie, Raena." He said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I mean, think about about it. No one knew about us. We had to constantly lie to this person and then that person. We were caught up in a web."

"That makes no difference," Raena replied, holding her forehead in her hands. This conversation was exhausting to her. She couldn't wait to just get her hands on a blaster and blow his brains out. "I can't believe you're trying to make yourself seem like the victim here. You killed me!"

"I didn't want to."

"And yet, you did."

Kylo paused, rubbing underneath his nose. Raena wanted to say something – anything to make him stop talking – but words escaped her in this moment. She could hardly see him in this darkness anyways, and maybe that was a good thing. If she could see him, Raena knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself from punching him.

"I hope we can move past this," he muttered. "I don't want you to hate me."

Raena, this time, couldn't stop the laugh from escaping her mouth. "Too late."

Before she could finish her chuckle, Raena felt a mouth pressing on her own. She wanted to release a shriek, but she couldn't because someone was kissing her. The familiar scent of his breath mixed with her own, and she wanted to slap herself because she missed it and she enjoyed it. She missed the warmth of his lips and the way he kissed her made her feel like the stars were exploding. It was just them on a barren planet, holding each other like young lovers did. In reality, they were not young, happy lovers. These were all the reasons that made her push him away.

"GODS!" She exclaimed, wiping the spit from her mouth. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Raena began to exit the corridor. She had enough of this foolish conversation. It was a waste of her time. "Raena," he called her name lowly. She headed in the direction of where she knew the uniforms were located. Her eyes blinked at the bright lights, since she'd been in the dark hallway for so long. "Raena," his voice turned angry. She noticed a few trainees walking by and staring at her, but she paid them no mind. As she strode away quickly, she suddenly felt her knees buckle in place. Her feet couldn't move.

Her mouth fell open as she looked over her shoulder. With a heated stare, Kylo stood five feet from her, throwing out his hand. He was using the Force to hold Raena's legs in place. If he was angry, gods – Raena was angrier. She tried scuffing her shoes against the floor, but nothing happened. She released a grunt as he said, "There's no use in trying."

"Let me go," she ordered.

Kylo shook his head. "Not until you talk to me."

"We did talk," she snapped, pointing to the dark corridor to her left. "Right there, just then. But you, clearly, didn't want to talk. You just wanted to victimize yourself." Raena swayed her torso left and right, but nothing could move her legs. "Now, let me go."

His nostrils flared. Kylo looked at Raena like he wanted to kill her again, and maybe he really did. Or maybe he just wanted to kiss her again. He truly didn't know. But she was all he had, and he hoped to win her trust back. She was the only person who made him feel different, without taking away his name or authority. And as he stared at her pale golden eyes once more, he released his hold on her. Raena stalked away from him, leaving Kylo in the middle of the hall, helpless.

•••

Raena shut her door with a slam. She closed her eyes, trying to steady her racing heart as she leaned against the bedroom door. Gods, this mission would definitely be harder than she thought. At first, Raena believed this would be so easy. Gain trust back in her superiors, gather information, and when the moment struck, she would kill the commander. Easy peasy.

But once Raena locked eyes with Kylo in her patient room, she knew she was done for. There was no possible way for this mission to be easy for her, not with the enemy himself getting in the way. It made her wonder why he was so suddenly vying for her attention. He never had before, even when they were partners. What changed? Was it the guilt? Was it his constant victimization of himself? She wasn't sure, but she did know that she was tired of his bullshit. Him trying to gain back her trust was useless, but Raena knew the commander well, and he would continue to pester her until he got what he wanted. For some reason, a small bit of hope inside Raena wished that he would, and hope – in times of war – could do a lot.

Reaching for the comlink in her ear, Raena locked the door and stepped forward into her room. She looked around, knowing where to spot for a First Order camera, but she found none. They weren't known to place cameras in rooms, but it didn't hurt to check. Raena then laid back on her mattress, breathing out a heavy sigh. She pressed the button for the mic, bringing it closer to her mouth.

"I met with the Supreme Leader," she began softly.

Far off in the galaxy, Indira Beren sat by the com lines, tuning the subspace transceiver before her. If she just hit the right station, she'd find the correct line. She was scheduled to monitor com lines that night, and she was becoming frustrated with the receiver. If she could just find –

"The meeting went well," Raena Nhagy's voice flooded the transceiver's speaker, coming out in static waves. Indira gasped, refusing to touch the radio again, in fear it would switch to another station. She pulled out a pad of paper, writing down the specific date and time she received the com, as well as notes on Raena's words. EV-1 hovered to Indira's right and released a string of beeps at the sudden, yet familiar, voice.

Raena cleared her throat on the other end. "I'm in my old quarters," she continued. "It's kind of weird being back here, but I know what I have to do and I won't let anything distract me from the plan at hand. When I met with the Supreme Leader, though, he seemed suspicious of me. I think I convinced him enough to trust me. The fat-faced alien had me fucking shot with a blaster to prove my immortality, and boy, did that hurt."

Indira found herself giggling softly in the silent office. She smiled slightly at Raena's voice. Although she didn't know Raena for a long time, she did miss her. Once getting to know the assassin, she came to realize that opposites do attract. They were both very different, but Indira felt a connection. She was proud to call Raena a friend.

"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. But if I find any first hand information, I'll let you all know." Raena sighed longingly, and it came out with static on Indira's radio. "Goodnight, and ..." She paused, trying to gather the courage to say the famous Resistance line. "May the Force be with you. Over and out."

Indira looked down at the short-hand notes she took. She tapped her pencil quickly as EV-1 flew close to Indira's head, staying quiet for once. She thought over Raena's words and the hesitation in her voice. It was easy to realize Raena's real mission loud and clear, and truthfully, it scared Indira. The last thing they needed was her killing the general's son, but Raena was likely to do just that.

•••

A/N: So I kinda just want to explain right now the dynamic between Kylo and Raena, if y'all wanna read it!!!!

Kylo is definitely trying to get Raena to trust him again for the most important reason: she's a powerful asset to their army. It's also very clear that they both share an emotional connection, and Raena allows him to be the person he once was without questioning his identity (at least, she was like that before). He wants to cling to Raena because she's something stable to hold onto and understood him, but he's never willing to give up his growing power – hence, why he killed her. But now that she's back, he's willing to be vulnerable again to win her connection back. Their relationship is going to be confusing in Book III, and honestly, that's the way I want it to be projected. It all deals with a big power dynamic between them and winning trust back.

I hope this all makes sense! If you have any questions, just comment it 😄