CHAPTER 7
BIG FAN, BIG FAN

RAENA and a small pack of storm troopers had returned from their latest mission extremely early the next morning. The mission was unexpected, but needed to be done. Hux had gotten word of an important blueprint of a new base that the Resistance was planning to use against them and rumored to be held by a civilian on Corellia, but all Raena had returned with was another new stain of dried blood on her cloak.

"He didn't know anything," she had told the general. "Trust me, I tried the best I could – almost took his kid for leverage – but he really didn't know anything."

Hux shook his head before returning to his chambers, where Raena and the troopers had so graciously woken him up when they came back at four AM. The female assassin turned back to the body of troopers idling behind her, and with a wave of her hands, she mumbled, "You may all go."

Raena yawned while retreating to her own room. As she typed her password into the console, she realized how much her bedroom didn't look like one. It always reminded her more of a prison cell, despite how she was grateful for being giving the chance at life when she was first captured. A small desk sat in the corner, a tablet placed densely upon it, and then a large bed was pushed onto the other side. The only personal object she had left was a small photo of her parents from when she was a child that she always made sure to keep on her person.

She hadn't even changed out of her tunic and cape when she had lied down on the fluffy mattress, immediately dozing off. She hugged her pillow close to her, sleeping so peacefully for a mere four hours, until her door started to buzz. Raena opened her extremely sleep-deprived eyes – god, no wonder why she was so weak – and opened the sliding door, seeing a storm trooper standing outside of it. "What?" She mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"You have a meeting today at nine, Officer. I was told to wake you."

She sighed, signaling with her fingers for him to leave before grabbing her clothes and heading to the bathrooms. She walked all the way over to the shower area, stripping from her clothes that she should've ripped off as soon as she arrived back on the ship, and then allowed the shower head to soak herself in water. Raena always approved of taking her showers early in the morning anyways; it meant less people were doing the same thing. Seeing as the fleet only had public bathrooms, the more privacy you got, the better.

Raena leaned her head on the tiled wall in front of her, letting the water rain on top of her head as a dark pair of eyes clouded her thoughts. Just thinking about the awkward moment from yesterday sent a shiver down her spine, but in all honesty, she wanted to speak with him without the helmet. She was just generally curious. The mask made him Kylo Ren, someone to be feared, but without it, Raena did not feel any of that. Why was she overthinking this small instance yet again?

Rinsing her hair one last time, she turned the shower off and grabbed her clothes to change. She pulled on her normal clothes for the day – a black button down blouse and dark pants – before throwing her hair into a tight braid. She took a look in the mirror at herself, but didn't see herself staring back. What she saw was someone entirely different. She spotted a trained, emotionless assassin with tired eyes, who begged for sleep more than anything else.

She made her way over to the meeting room, nodding to several troopers walking past who wished her good morning. "Officer Nhagy," Captain Phasma called as she waited outside the designated room, "how nice of you to arrive on schedule for once."

"Good morning to you too, Phasma." Raena muttered as she stuck her tongue out when the captain wasn't looking. Spotting several familiar faces around the table, including some cadets of Hux's, she sent them all a smile before taking her seat next to the head of the table.

The assassin rubbed at her tired eyes as one of the unknown cadets leaned over to her ear, startling her as he whispered, "You look like you need sleep."

She narrowed her eyes at the face next to her, send him a strange glare as he held out his hand. "Sorry for scaring you," he smiled. "I'm Gerardo Mason, big fan of your work. It's a pleasure meeting you, Officer Nhagy."

"Just call me Raena," she insisted, shaking his tan hand. "I didn't know I had fans."

"I'm more of an admirer, to say the least." He replied, his grin spreading wide. "The way you took down Pacey Blando yesterday during training was mind-blowing. Hux was trying not to tear up."

She laughed at the mention of the general, who was walking into the room with the same empty expression. "I'd pay so much to see that sight."

Before she could get out another word, the room came to a hush as the commander walked in, sitting down at the head of the table. Raena tensed as he sat next to her, straightening her back in the chair and channeling her eyes on anything but him as Hux started the discussions for that morning.

Raena often participated in group discussions, formerly plotting their actions towards their next plan. Often times, it involved the commander spitting out orders on their attack and Hux immediately shutting them down. On good days, Raena would agree with Commander Ren, only modifying the orders for something much simpler than what he desire. But today was different; today Hux had really got under his skin. Raena didn't think it was possible for the commander to get this angry, and she could tell from the trembling of his hands. A mask was supposed to hide another's feelings, but she swore that she could right through him.

"That is terrible!" Hux exclaimed, pointing a finger Ren's way. "If we do that, we are immediately setting us up for an attack. It is foolish!"

No one could stop the commander's next move: with a wave of his arm, Kylo smashed his fist on the wooden table, causing a shake to run down it. Through the helmet, Raena knew the commander was sending a glare Hux's way before walking out of the meeting completely.

The cadets and captains around the table looked around at each other, wondering what to do next. Hux's eyes locked with Raena's as he swallowed the lump in his throat and she cautiously wondered what her next move would be. Before she could stop herself, she found herself standing up and following the commander's steps.

She sprinted down the hallways, trying to follow the wavelength of his mind that she constantly tried to block out. Her feet padded across the streaky halls as she neared the old control room from her memories. The bright red glow of a lightsaber glistened against the steel walls behind the room, and Raena clenched her hands into fists, trying to control her breathing that was catching in her throat. She kept her pace slow as she approached the entrance, her digits suddenly sweating at the sight before her.

Commander Ren threw his helmet at the wall in front of him, allowing it to bounce off and roll outside the door to Raena's feet. She watched him plunged his lightsaber into the systems repeatedly, each time causing a flinch to erupt in her body. After several minutes, he stopped yelling profanities and stared at the chaos he caused, letting out tired breaths. He rubbed his eyes before pinching his nose.

Raena found her feet moving on the own as she picked up the helmet at her feet and walked into the blazed room. He immediately sensed her presence and spun to meet her eyes, watching her so casually step in with his helmet in her hands. They stared at each other for long moment, the silence practically deafening. The words were locked in her throat, so she decided holding her arm out, the helmet in hand as she begged for him to take it.

He didn't. In fact, he continued to stare at her with a blank expression. She swallowed the bile creeping up her throat, muttering, "You dropped this."

"I know," he replied, running a hand down his face. "Sorry."

She watched him take a seat on a small bench in the room while she stood in the same place. "Why are you apologizing?"

"This is the second time you've seen me like this," he mumbled. "I don't like others seeing me like that. I like to keep a level head to the public, but in secluded areas ..." He shrugged.

She set the helmet on the floor at his feet. Raena had spoken to Kylo Ren before, but this felt different. She had never seen him act in such a vulnerable manner. The sight before her was terrifying to believe that the commander of the First Order was acting so human.

"You know," she sighed, taking a seat beside him, "you should learn to control your anger. It's not doing you any good bottling your emotions and setting this room on fire." She gestured to the mess surrounding the room. "You're just destroying this ship even more."

He shook his head. "You wouldn't understand. Being the commander and wielding the Force, it's different than what you feel –"

"I'm sorry," she scoffed, "I completely wouldn't understand emotional distress and bitterness towards everyone on this ship. It wasn't like I was kidnapped two years ago from my home and forced to murder others for the First Order."

His face slowly moved towards her, a glare suddenly sent in her direction.

"It's not a lie." She continued, pushing away the subject with her hand. "Although I digress, controlling your anger is the key to good leadership. If there's anything I've learned from the Supreme Leader's actions is to not follow them."

"But that makes no sense," he countered. "He is the Supreme Leader – my trainer – if there is anything I must do, it is to follow him."

She cocked a brow. "I know I'm just an assassin, but I believe in what I believe." She stood, feeling the sweatiness of her palms still there and rubbing them on the back of her dark pants. "If you ever want my help, you know where to find me."

He stood as well, taking his helmet from below and running his digits over the smooth surface. "Why would I need your help?"

"I can help you control your anger," she responded confidently, though inside she was having a heated battle with if she could actually fill a promise like that.

He slid the helmet on as she walked out of the abandoned control room, hearing his altered voice bellow behind her, "Meet me tomorrow evening after your training. We will see if you can accomplish that goal."