CHAPTER 43
THE WAYFINDER

RAENA Nhagy knew how hard it was to be a good person.

Everyone was born with kindness in their hearts. Evil festered over time. No one was truly born that way, but when you start fulfilling wicked deeds at a young age, it catches up quicker. Raena knew that life well. Even when her parents were alive, she was known to steal from commoners in the center of the Takodana village. She could be a diabolic, little kid to those who were nothing but kind to her. The evil only got worse over time, especially when she joined her uncle and traveled across the Western Reaches, killing just about anyone as long as she got money for it. It just worsened. It festered and festered and festered until it consumed her, until she was numb to the sight of blood on her hands.

Maybe she was never born a good person, but she was trying to be. Desperately.

She made a promise to Leia Organa, and that was only the beginning. As much as she had wanted to exact her revenge, the general inspired her to do more – much more. She was capable of more than that. This was the only way to repay her for her kindness. Raena would've never done what she had. She would give Leia her son back. Somehow, some way.

And perhaps, the first step was letting the past die, as much as it killed her on the inside. She paid attention to Kylo more, concentrated more on his interests. It wasn't like she had much of a choice. She was practically under his watch 24/7, except when she got that small amount of sleep every night, and even then, he moved their chambers right next to each other. Sometimes, he crawled into her bed to sleep against her heartbeat, and all she could do was hope that Ben Solo would return to his mother quick.

She couldn't deal with the smothering. But she had to. For Leia.

So maybe that's what landed her in the position she was in now: sitting quietly, cross-legged, in the middle of an empty training room. Kylo had forced all of the trainees out tonight, just for this. He believed everyone was connected in the Force, and was determined to show her the powers within it. "Perhaps, you are sensitive to it, like I am," he said while stalking around her in a circle. "If that's true, we could go down in history. A supreme leader and his assassin-turned-Sith."

Raena had gulped at his words. Good person. You can be a good person.

"Peace is a lie. There is only Passion," he recited carefully. " Through Passion I gain Strength ..."

The room was hauntingly quiet, besides the sound of his shoes squeaking against the floor. That was enough to distract her. She began to focus on the sound, eye twitching whenever it echoed in her ears. Kylo noticed it, causing him to finally halt right in front of her, staring her down and waiting for something to happen – a shift in the air, maybe even a gasp. But he got nothing. She wasn't concentrating enough.

"Through Victory my chains are Broken. The Force shall free me —"

"This is stupid," she snarled, opening her bright eyes. "The Force doesn't exist. I have better things to do."

"Like what?"

"I don't know." Raena opened her mouth to continued, but found nothing coming to mind. She slapped a hand against her thigh. "Training new recruits, discussing battle strategies ..."

Secretly helping the Resistance, her mind finished for her, eliciting a silent groan. It wasn't true. She hadn't thought of a way she could help other than her promise to Leia, and maybe that was enough.

"We don't need to discuss battle strategies right now, and you don't train recruits anymore," Kylo replied. "You bring them on board – with me – but you don't train them."

Raena arched a brow. She was promoted to Grand Admiral when she agreed to work alongside him again, as a team. But what was the point of promotion when she suddenly wasn't allowed to complete half the job that came with it? It was the smothering. Again.

She wondered if he knew something she didn't, if he was suspicious of her. Why else would he walk into her chambers after hours and fall asleep to the sound of her breathing? Unless that was Ben Solo coming through, which meant fulfilling her promise wasn't too far away. At least, she hoped.

"You're not concentrating. I can feel your irritation radiating off of you." He continued, kneeling down to her eye level. Her stare narrowed. "Sit in the correct position and breathe. You'll know when you feel it."

With a groan, Raena crossed her legs again and closed her eyes. She breathed in and out, trying her best to focus on the world around her. Everything was quiet. Each breath felt so long, but she persisted, looking for something in the void of the darkness. A shred of light, possibly. Jedi or Sith, maybe the Force consisted of light? She felt like she was sitting in her own head, in a chamber of black, searching for a string to pull her out. There was a tug on one side of her brain, and it made her head itch. She didn't break concentration, though, and allowed the tug to guide her. It was light, leading her away. She just needed to be pulled out ­–

At the end, Raena found nothing. The concentration was broken, and she was back in the training room, with her nemesis staring down at her intensely. She blinked her eyes and adjusted them to the lights around her. As she stood, Kylo asked, "Well?"

Her brow shot up. "Well, what?"

"Did you see something? Feel something?"

I don't know what I feel anymore, she thought, but didn't have the strength to voice it.

"Let me be as clear as I can be," Raena muttered, meeting his eye level. She stood just inches below him. "There is no Force, and I'm going to sleep."

On the edge of her boot, Raena strode towards the exit of the training room. Kylo tilted his head to the side, scrutinizing her stance from the back, but nothing called out to him. Maybe she wasn't sensitive to the Force. It called out to everyone, although there weren't many that were receptive to it.

"Goodnight," he proclaimed softly, "Grand Admiral."

Raena lingered by the door, regarding him with a nod before departing. A title like that would make any person happy, but it only filled her with guilt. Survival was a bitch.

•••

It was hard to be in control of your life when your every move was being watched. Raena was stuck in a routine, never breaking, never-ending. She had known this routine for too long, and she was tired – so very tired – of living it. No matter who won this war, she'd outlast them all, and would still probably continue the same routine. Even when they were all dead, Raena would still look over her shoulder every now and then. These kind of things happened to bad people, and she was willing to break it.

She wondered when this war would be over, when she would feel whole again, as she put on the same black dress shirt she wore almost every day. She looked in the mirror and braided her hair into the same braid that hung loosely along her back. Raena noticed how the dark circles that used to bruise around her golden eyes only lessened with immortality. Maybe that was a good thing. The last thing she needed was people seeing her weak spots.

Kylo had called for an early meeting that morning. While Raena would've much rather be sitting in the mess hall with Gerardo and Pacey and a horned melon on her plate, she was here: sitting at the head of the table and twirling in her chair as the rest of the higher-ups filtered in. She played with one of her blades that she always kept on her thigh between two fingers, looking up to see the table now full. "Does anyone know why he called us here?" General Stark asked the group. Raena kept her mouth shut. She had no idea.

"Grand Admiral," Major Sawyer proclaimed, "did the Supreme Leader inform you of this meeting? It seemed very sudden."

"The Supreme Leader doesn't discuss surprise meetings with me," she informed, still balancing the knife in between her fingers. Her voice lowered to a whisper, "Which are obviously driven by his own paranoia."

The door slid open, revealing a sleep-deprived Kylo with his hair slicked back. No one looked at him. Almost everyone in the room straightened their back at his arrival, but Raena leaned into her chair and kicked her feet out. She was ready for this meeting to be over.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you here on such short notice." His eyes landed on Raena, sitting at the other far end of the table, tilting her head to the side. Kylo cleared his throat and looked away. "I learned late last night that a mysterious broadcast came through one of our hypertransceivers. The message claimed to be from the great Emperor Palpatine."

Everyone shared a confused look and began to whisper amongst themselves. Surprisingly, even Raena found her expression contorting with perplexity. She hadn't heard about the emperor in years. He died so long ago, and from what she heard, it was pretty brutal. There was no way he was alive.

But stranger things have happened. She could attest to that.

Kylo placed one hand on the table. The whole room came to a hush.

"The message was a promise of revenge –"

"What kind of promise?" Raena asked. All heads whipped towards her. She arched a defiant brow in Kylo's direction.

"A believable one," Kylo retorted, gaining everyone's attention once again. She rolled her eyes. Sometimes, he wondered why she was so defensive around him when she agreed to be here in the first place. She always came back.

"Furthermore," he continued, "I believe this is a powerful member of the Sith that helped the late Supreme Leader Snoke gain his power, and they are now trying to threaten my authority. We've tracked the signal to somewhere in the Unknown Regions. The only way to find the exact coordinates is with a Wayfinder."

General Hux raised a hand. "Supreme Leader, if I may be so bold –" He swallowed hard when Kylo shot him a look of annoyance. "There were only two Wayfinders ever created, or so I've been told. One of them has been lost on the Second Death Star, and the other –"

"Lives on Mustafar, my own grandfather's personal sanctum," Kylo finished. "I'll be traveling to Mustafar in two hours' time with a small troop. The Wayfinder is the only way to find whoever is sending this message."

"And the sender," General Stark said, "you believe it's really Emperor Palpatine?"

General Pryde, a new, unfriendly face amongst the crowd, turned in the woman's direction. "Are you questioning the Supreme Leader's authority?"

Before Stark could even open her mouth, Raena crossed her arms over her chest and announced, "I was told Vader threw him down the Death Star's reactor shaft all those years ago. How do you survive something like that?"

Kylo smiled, "The dark side of the Force works in mysterious ways, Grand Admiral."

Of course, it does, she thought.

The Supreme Leader narrowed his eyes in her direction.

Lest we forget that our minds are connected, he reminded, his voice floating into her head like an echo.

With a wave of his hand, Kylo dismissed them. The rest of the higher-ups stalked out of the meeting room, leaving both Kylo and Raena at the heads of the table. For a moment, as they sat their quietly, scrutinizing each other, she wondered if he was going to ask her to go with him to Mustafar. She wasn't exactly keen on the idea of traveling to the volcanic planet, but maybe – just maybe – if she went with him, it could be a way to lead him back to his mother. She had no idea how that could happen. But it was a start. It wasn't like he hadn't let Ben Solo slip through the cracks recently. He was practically spilling from the seams.

"So," she finally announced, leaning into the table and lacing her hands together, "we're leaving in a few hours? How long will the trip be, considering that you actually find the Wayfinder and a resurrected Palpatine?"

Kylo stood up. "I'm not sure," he muttered, approaching the exit, "and I'm only going with a small troop. You'll stay here and watch the ship in my absence."

Raena's expression fell. "Excuse me?"

"What?"

"I'm your Grand Admiral!" She stomped over to where he lingered by the door frame. His face crossed with confusion. "You can't just leave me here. I should be going with you on a mission like this."

"Not always," he argued. "You're the only one who can look over everyone while I'm gone. You're the only one I trust."

Raena crossed her arms over her chest. She was starting to find that very hard to believe. But on the other hand, she wouldn't trust her either.

"I'm going with you to Mustafar," she declared, malice laced in her tone.

"No, you're not," he said, punching the console to open, "and that's final."

Kylo shot her one last hardened look before exiting the meeting room. Raena stepped out into the hallway, watching him head for the hangar bay amongst a group of stormtroopers. He glanced at her from over his shoulder, rounding the corner, and she thought he never looked weaker in that moment. A second glance meant vulnerability; it meant another identity was trickling out. She just had to be patient, and that was the hardest part.

It was time for a different plan.

•••

A/N: GUESS WHO'S BACK. BACK AGAIN. RAENA'S BACK. TELL A FRIEND.

HOPE Y'ALL ARE READY!!! WE FINALLY ENDING THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to try to take the pacing down a notch at the beginning of act iv, but once we really get into TROS, it'll be hard to slow it down. tbh the biggest issue for me with TROS was the pacing and I can't really fix that a lot if I want to SOMEWHAT follow the plot 😓however, we may go a little au at some parts, especially at times when the plot just like.........didn't make sense. so yeah! you will see what that means vvvvvvv soon

as for an update schedule, I'm not too sure yet. I REALLY want to be able to update this and BAD BLOOD once a week, but we'll see how that goes. it's honestly super hard to balance a full-time job, social life, AND write at the same time asdsjklwuieo but first world problems I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️ anyways, yes – promise I'll figure out a concreate schedule soon. just need to get my shit together hehe

also!!! I know no one asked for more PRISONER memes but I made more so here's one to celebrate a brand new chapter 🤡

( thank you dazzIers for reminding me that this skit still exists 🙏🏼 )

hope you all enjoyed and are excited for the final act!!!!! 💞