CHAPTER 55
THE MONSTER

RAENA released a loud grunt when her body collided with the rocky sand below. She had been forced to jump from a tremendous height in order to get to the belly of the Citadel, and the last thing she expected was the impact to hurt this much. Even her bones were screaming as she forced herself up and onto her feet. She started running again, despite her right leg aching. Raena was limping, terribly so, but she had to keep moving forward.

Her hands were slick with sweat. The blaster rifle threatened to slip from her grip, while the other hung loosely in her holster. The ground began to shake. Pebbles crumbled from the walls and eventually turned to full-scale rocks trying to block her path. Raena yelped and continued to sprint through the labyrinth from her own nightmares. The rumbling didn't cease, becoming so forceful that Raena was knocked off her feet.

She had just entered a fork in the path when she fell into the sand again. Lightning flashed all around her. The whole planet felt lifeless. Smoke billowed into the air and boulders tumbled into the gravel. She heard blaster fire and more destruction ahead. But all Raena could do was lay on the ground, finally allowing the tears to slip down her cheeks.

Get up, her conscious begged. You have to get up.

It was so hard, though. If she just stayed here forever, how would the war end? Would the world still turn without her?

A scream echoed in the distance. It was familiar and shook Raena to the very core. A soul exploded in the Force, sending a shiver down her spine. She lifted her head.

Rey.

Raena looked over her shoulder and saw a large rock fall on the side of her leg. She shrieked, but had to move on. That was the only way to live. With all the strength she had left, Raena cried and slowly pulled her leg from underneath the boulder. Blood spilled from inside her leg, but was soon soaked up by the powers within her. Immortality never stopped the pain.

Raena huffed and took off into a sprint. Her leg screeched and yelped, but she ignored the ache. She had to. Her hands balled into fists and she dug her nails into her palms to distract herself, but the pain was never-ending. Tears spilled from her eyes. She wasn't sure if she could take more of this. At that moment, all she wanted was to feel the warm embrace of death.

The epicenter opened before her. Raena stopped short, taking in the ruins of the Sith Citadel. She held onto the back on her leg and picked up a shard from the throne. It was sharp, like glass, and Raena lifted her eyes to see the imprint of where it had once been. All that was left of Palpatine's presence was a cloak laying in the middle of the room. The rest of the place was covered in ash, crumbled statues, and fallen followers. Rey and Kylo Ren were nowhere to be found. Raena took a few steps forward and sighed.

After all the pain and willpower it took to get here, she was a bit pissed that she missed all the action. Her priorities had always been a bit skewed.

But then, she found a body curled up in the ash of Palpatine's demise. It was a girl, hanging onto her last breath. Raena ran forward, instantly recognizing the familiar three-bun hairstyle, and ignored the dull pang from the back of her leg. She got down on her knees and moved her body around to face her.

"Rey?" She cried, wiping at the end of her nose. The other girl did not answer. Her lips were chapped and her skin was turning blue. Raena looked to the sky, where the war raged on forever. "Gods, gods, gods!" Her fists plummeted into the sand. "This wasn't how it was supposed to go! She was supposed to ..."

Raena sucked in, mouth wobbling as she looked back at Rey again. All of this was for nothing if the Jedi died. Even if the Resistance beat down the First Order, the Sith had still won. They would always win.

Rey was light when Raena finally cradled her in her arms. The assassin's heart thumped loudly against her ribcage, and she silently wished she had never gotten this serum in the first place. She didn't deserve it. Rey did.

She placed her hand on Rey's chest. Her heartbeat was slow, but somehow, still there. A tear ran down Raena's cheek and dripped onto Rey's chest, soaking into her skin. She rested her forehead on top of Rey's and clutched her other hand, laying it on top of her own.

As she closed her eyes, the air around her seemed to change. Something about the atmosphere felt refreshed and new, despite the ash floating around them. Raena wasn't sure what it was, but it felt like energy. Cold, revitalizing energy. The same feeling she had when she was brought back to life. Raena squeezed her hands. The Force was running between them, tying their energies together until there was nothing left but life. Raena shuddered at the cool touch of the Force as it plunged inside of Rey.

She still assumed all hope was lost. Why wouldn't she? Raena had been let down many times before. The war was ending and so were the Jedi. Hope was gone, and she learned that the hard way.

And then, she felt Rey's hand tightened around her own.

Raena blinked, raising her head to look down at Rey's vivid irises, reflecting against the bright blue light. Rey squeezed her hand again, and then another time, and another. Raena's mouth opened, but she couldn't think of what to say or what to do. She was rendered speechless. Rey slipped her hand away and raised it, brushing her cool fingers against Raena's cheekbone.

The Force had never been more real until that moment.

"It's you," Rey smiled. "You're still here after all of this. Why? I'll never forgive myself for leaving you behind, so I don't assume you would –"

Raena shook her head. "No, no. You did what needed to be done. You saved all of us."

A tear made its way down Rey's face. The feeling of her fingers on Raena's cheek was electric, as if she had the Force leaking from her fingertips. "You saved me."

Raena rubbed the end of her nose, holding down a sob. "I think we saved each other."

A thud sounded from over her shoulder.

From the inside of a rocky ditch, a single hand emerged. It pulled itself up and onto the surface, tugging a large body along with it. Raena got to her feet instantly, though she hardly recognized the person covered in ash and grime. She aimed her rifle at them without question. The young Jedi used Raena's shoulder to help herself stand, not expecting the showdown that was about to take place. Rey pursed her lips with hesitation.

Kylo limped his way over to the two females. He looked determined, yet weak. His movements were slow, and Raena found herself growing bored as he made his way over, stopping just a few feet from them. She swallowed hard.

"It was always supposed to end this way, wasn't it?" He asked, voice hollow. "Except you're not killing Kylo Ren. You're killing Ben Solo. How does it feel?"

Raena narrowed her eyes. "I've come to the conclusion that they're the same person," she replied. "Both killed me, after all."

Rey placed a hand on her shoulder and begged, "You should put the blaster down, Raena. I executed the Emperor, but Ben tried to help me –"

"He's also tried to kill you. Many times." She said, before turning back to face Kylo. Raena cocked her head to the side. "And up until an hour ago, he was going to do just that and take the Emperor's throne for himself."

Kylo choked out, "I want to be a good person."

"No, you don't! I am a good person! Not you." Her stance was rigid, but her sanity was quivering. "You think I'd let you destroy me and end up happier than ever? No fucking way. You don't get to win."

Rey squeezed Raena's hand, but that didn't lessen her anger.

"You think this makes you a good person, Raena Nhagy?" Kylo chuckled darkly and shook his head. He took a few steps closer. "No, you're still a monster on the inside. All your hate, trauma, anger ... it's led you to this. You're the monster."

"Are you serious? You're such a hypocrite." She jabbed the barrel of her blaster in his direction, eyes forming into thin slits. Her whole body was vibrating with fury. "How many people who trusted you have died? I've seen the real you: the one you've tried to bury so deep inside. You know what he is?" Her mouth twisted into a wicked smirk. "He's a coward who always has an excuse or someone to blame. That's a monster, Ben."

Kylo's breathing was ragged as he stalked forward. Raena didn't move away. Rey held onto her hand even tighter. The Jedi looked off to where her saber laid idly on the ground, but she knew she couldn't get in this. This fight was between Kylo and Raena only. It was useless to intrude.

Raena's brow furrowed when Kylo kneeled before her, pressing his forehead to the barrel of the blaster. "What are you –"

He looked up at her from between the long neck of the blaster, paralyzing her in place. Kylo arched a brow. "So you're going to end it. Right now?"

Raena swallowed down the scream that threatened to climb up her throat. She bit the end of her tongue before replying, "I'm going to let the past die. Just how you wanted many moons ago."

"I always knew this would happen," he muttered, eyes landing on the rocky surface below. He reached out and let the dark sand fall between his fingertips. "I knew it from the moment I shoved that lightsaber into your chest."

Instinctively, Raena placed a hand on her chest, bunching the fabric in between her fingers. She would never forget the way that felt. She would never forget the immediate burning, or the betrayal of being stabbed by the one person you thought would die for you. No heartbreak, no wound – nothing could've prepared her for that kind of pain. She felt it still to this day, even when she placed her fingers over the scar. It never left.

He scanned the Citadel center, fixating on the saber that was way out of his reach. Raena followed his stare and asked, "Why don't you grab it? Fight me like a real man."

"It would be useless."

Raena lifted her chin. She could hardly breathe.

His eyes flickered to her own once again, narrowing slightly. "But I still have one question."

Raena's finger was shaking over the trigger. She could feel Rey's hard breathing on her neck. "Make it quick."

"Do you think killing me will change you? Save your soul?" He tilted his head to the side, hardly giving her a moment to respond. "Because it won't. You'll always be a prisoner to your own addiction."

Her lips curled at the ends, but she wasn't happy. Raena wasn't sure what she was feeling right now. She wasn't sane. She wasn't the perfect hero this war needed. Her whole body was shaking with anger. There had always been something that made her stop herself from hurting him. She wasn't going to let anything stop her anymore. The game was over.

"No, Ben. You're the prisoner." She flipped the safety off and sent him a vicious sneer. "I win."

Her finger pulled back on the trigger. Raena finally released a breath she hadn't known she was holding in as the blaster bolts soared through the air, sinking deep into the fabric of his tunic, and then his skin. She shot three times, hardly able to keep her hand off the trigger. Kylo fell into the rocky sand. Blood leaked from his shirt as the blaster bolts burned away the flesh on his chest. The war up above seemed to grow quiet. Raena blinked, almost not believing that what she was seeing was real.

In that moment, he was reduced to an empty shell. A man without power. A frightened boy. A corpse.

Kylo Ren was dead.

Both Rey and Raena were silent. They could hardly get out a word. The whole planet felt silent. Raena lowered the blaster as Kylo bled out, creating a pool right under her feet. Her hands were sweaty and shaking with nerves, causing the blaster to completely slip out her grip. It tumbled onto the ground, and finally, so did she.

Raena felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. A huge hole had been punched in her chest and she was left struggling to breathe. She fell to her knees without warning. The back of her leg screamed out in pain and her pants were soaked with his insides. Rey didn't know what to do. She could only watch in horror as Raena released a loud wail and took his body into her arms.

She didn't know that it would feel like this. She didn't expect the overwhelming sadness, the grief. It felt as if someone finally cut the string that held them together, and she was left to pick up the pieces. Raena had killed him. It was something she needed to do, so why did it hurt this much? Why was he still tormenting her, even in death?

Rey knelt beside her, hugging her shoulders and resting her chin on top of the blonde's head. Raena continued to cry and rock back and forth, allowing Kylo's blood to seep into her shirt, and maybe even her own skin. Eventually, his body began to wilt and dissipated into the night sky. He vanished into thin air, leaving nothing behind but a cloud of ash, and Raena was left holding an abandoned soul.

She wondered if life would become easier now without him in it, but in the back of her mind, Raena knew it never would. His ghost would haunt her forever.

END OF BOOK IV

•••

A/N: well THAT was a doozy!!! but don't feel just yet. a very important epilogue is coming tomorrow! stay tuned 🥳

a couple disclaimers: you may have noticed a sprinkled in a few lines from gillian flynn's GONE GIRL. (aka one of my FAVE books and movies. raena is basically amy dunne in space and you CAN'T change my mind!!) so, obviously, I don't own any lines referenced from GONE GIRL. I also referenced and took inspiration from a gifset I saw on tumblr by @martacabrera. the quote was when raena was saying, "How many people who trusted you have died? I've seen the real you ..." etc. idk if she got the quote from somewhere else, but I just want to give her credit because she's who originally introduced the quote to me.