Someone to fall back on
Yay time for a Lyric fanfic cause I was inspired by the song. I am still working on that Logicality request I promise, it's just taking me a while.
Song: someone to fall back on by Jason Robert Brown.
Yes Thomas did sing this on his twitter, it just fits prinxiety so well.
I'll never be
A knight in armor
With a sword in hand,
Or a Kamikaze fighter;
Don't count on me
To storm the barricades
And take a stand,
Or hold my ground;
You'll never see
Any scars or wounds-
Anxiety was sitting in the mostly dark space of his room. He was on the floor by his bed with his knees pulled close to him.
He had been thinking lately. About a lot of things and most of them all trailed back to Prince. He didn't exactly know why...
Through the long time that he had known Prince he'd always noticed... something. Sure in the beginning all they ever did was fight and Anxiety found him to be astronomically annoying, but there was always some sort of feeling. And it grew as Anxiety got to know Prince more. By watching the little things he'd do, or catch the small things he'd say that would carry a deeper meaning. He felt like now he knew Prince on a deeper level. And, although he'd never admit it, he grew to respect him, like him even.
Like him...
what did that exactly mean?
That's what Anxiety was confused about.
Besides even if he did like him in... that way; would he even be worth Prince's attention. I mean he wasn't exactly a grade A person. At least not in his mind. He wasn't brave or daring he wouldn't make extreme sacrifices in most situations. He wasn't self confident or positive and wouldn't stand up against people most of the time. What was he? What worth did he have?
No, he was afraid. That was a good word to describe himself. He was weak, too scared of rejection or being hurt to do anything. He may say he doesn't care and that he'll fight the man, but it's all just an act. He says he doesn't want things because he couldn't care less about them, when in all honesty, he's just afraid of losing them. That's who and what he was. Pathetic...
Pathetic and hurt. But you'd never know how much Anxiety struggled within himself. There were no outer wounds or scars. Only pain he fought with deep down inside. Pain he tried to, but never could overcome. The pain that somehow ended up ruling him.
I don't walk on coals,
I won't walk on water:
I am no prince,
I am no saint,
I am not anyone's wildest dream,
But I will stand behind
And be someone to fall back on.
Anxiety told himself he wasn't meant for anything magnificent. After all he couldn't even seem to achieve little things, so what would ever make him think he could succeed at a larger scale. He admitted that he knew he wasn't the greatest person. He was less of a protagonist and more of a villain the way he saw it.
And he couldn't ever understand why anyone at all would want him, in any context. He wasn't anything special.
There was a knock at his door breaking him away from his self-deprecating thoughts.
"Greetings... It's Roman." A voice came from the other side.
He sounded... off to Anxiety.
"Oh... um come in I guess." Anxiety shouted back.
Prince walked in and looked over to him. He then gave a week smile and joined him on the floor.
Anxiety could tell something was up. Prince wasn't being as joyful as usual. "What's wrong with you?"
Some comedy -
You're bruised and beaten down
And I'm the one
Who's looking for a favor.
Still, honestly,
You don't believe me
But the things I have
Are the things you need.
You look at me
Like I don't make sense,
Like a waste of time,
Like it serves no purpose -
Roman walked into Anxiety's room joining him on the floor. He didn't know why he'd chosen to go to Anxiety, but he needed to talk to someone, and seemed to have naturally just chose him.
He found it ironic. He'd always figured that Anxiety had some deeper pain in him. He could tell by watching him closely, and figured that's why he acted so, well... him. Roman always wanted to help, but he never exactly knew how. He wasn't a professional in this kind of thing and was too worried he'd only say or do something to make him worse. He told himself that if Anxiety ever got to bad he'd say something. But now here he was coming to Anxiety for help with his own problem. He couldn't tell if that was him being selfish or not...
He truely did want to help him in return though. Even though he knew Anxiety would never believe him, he wanted to always be there for him. And not just as a friend... he wanted to be by his side forever, but he was too secretly shy to ever say anything.
Roman looked over to Anxiety and noticed him watching him in confusion. "What's wrong with you?"
"I just... need someone to talk to..." He admitted.
"And you chose me?" Anxiety asked sounding more surprised than rude. "And what could possibly be wrong, you're always happy."
Roman pulled his knees toward him. He knew Anxiety was confused. He probably thought even just talking to him about this was trivial. "Maybe on the outside..."
I am no prince,
I am no saint,
And if that's what you believe you need,
You're wrong - you don't need much,
You need someone to fall back on...
"Maybe on the outside..." prince had trailed off looking across the room sadly.
Anxiety sat up in surprise at that. He turned toward his fellow side. "Prince..." he couldn't help but show concern in his voice and eyes.
"I apologize, this was stupid... I probably shouldn't even have come to disturb you." Prince seemed like he was holding back tears, and hid his face in his knees.
"No tell me what's wrong." Anxiety didn't like the way prince was acting. It caused an unexplainable pain in his heart.
There was a small silence.
"Am... am I really good for Thomas?" Prince finally asked.
Anxiety was completely taken aback. Did he just say what he think he said? He thinks he, Thomas' creativity, one of his actual good emotions, was possibly bad for him. "What?"
"I mean yes I help him create things, but am I good enough? Is what I create really right for him? Am I doing a good job? Could someone be better for him? I don't know. I feel as though everything I do could be horrible, or it is horrible and everyone is just being nice and saying it isn't." Prince explained more deeply. "Does Thomas even like me?"
"Of course he likes you." Anxiety replied tilting his head to the side.
"How do you know..?" He asked quietly.
"Because I know." Anxiety replied. "You're probably one of his favorites actually. Thinking he doesn't like you is absurd."
"Do you like me?" Prince suddenly looked to him.
And I'll be that:
I'll take your side.
If I'm the only one,
I'm used to that.
I've been alone,
I'd rather be
The half of us,
The least of you,
The best of me.
Anxiety was once again surprised by the sudden blunt question.
"Do you like me?"
"Um..." Anxiety couldn't help but find himself blushing. He didn't know how to respond. He knew his answer but didn't know how to say it. It didn't help how expectantly Prince was watching him.
He wanted to be by Prince that was for sure. He wanted to be there for him, be there to always catch him. Even if he was alone following behind him in his shadow for the rest of his life. He was used to being alone anyway... all he knew is right now Prince needed his help.
"Y-yes." Was all he could say.
Roman blinked back at him in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah... I mean..." anxiety turned around looking away from him, trying to seem annoyed. "I don't hate you or anything. It's not like you do a bad job. Honestly stop doubting yourself, that's my job."
Roman felt a smile spread across his face and leaned over to hug Anxiety, taking the boy by surprise. "Thank you."
Anxiety widened his eyes slightly. "Yeah, whatever..." he loosely wrapped his arms back around him.
Roman then pulled away his hands still securely on his shoulders. "While I'm here, let's talk about you."
"Me?" Anxiety asked in confusion. "About what exactly."
"About how you're hurting." Prince frowned. "About how you don't think you're good enough..."
"I'm fine princey don-"" he was quickly cut off
"No you aren't." Prince said sternly looking him in the eye.
"Okay..." Anxiety began. "Maybe I'm not... But it's fine really. This is just who I am. I know I'm negative all the time. I know I can't do anything right. That I'm a pathetic coward... you guys don't have to tell me that in order for me to understand..." He tried to hold in his tears, but a few still slipped out.
Prince couldn't take him talking so badly about him anymore. His heart hurt at the words, so he leaned in to capture his lips in his own. One to shut him up, and two because he'd been longing to do it for a while and couldn't hold back anymore.
Anxiety widened his eyes feeling his tears stop as prince kissed him. He didn't even have time to respond really before prince pulled away.
"No you aren't." Prince then looked down shamefully. "I want to convince you that you aren't, and I know you won't believe me... But I don't know how to help you..."
After getting over the shock Anxiety brought his hand to Prince's face making him look back up at him. "You're doing a great job so far." He said before wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him again. This time longer and with more passion.
And I will be
I'll Your prince,
I'll be your saint,
I will go crashing through fences
In your name. I will, I swear -
I'll be someone to fall back on!
I'll be the one who waits,
And for as long as you'll let me,
I will be the one you need.
I'll be someone to fall back on:
Your prince,
Your saint,
The one you believe you need
I'll be - I'll be
Someone to fall back on.
Hey guys, I am so corny. Sorry not sorry. XD Thomas sang a snippet of this song on his twitter, so I looked it up and was like IT'S PERFECT FOR PRINXIETY! So here you go. I hope you like it, I know it's slightly different from what I normally do, but I hope it turned out okay. Vote and comment, bye!
~Hannah😋
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