TW: Mention of character death, alcohol, like one swear (tell me if I need to add anything) 

Ship: Kinda Logience

The song I used is above (it's from a great musical, I suggest you check it out).

- - -

Roman examined the small, empty bar he was in. He knew the owner, and the owner knew Roman needed some alone time, so he went in the back of the place, leaving the other man to think.

Roman decided the best way to feel better again was tp let his feelings out, and what better way to do that than to sing?

How did I get back here?
I swore I'd never return
Four long years since it happened
Roman,
I guess you'll never learn...

It was all his fault. He was the reason for his own misery.

But maybe this time'll be different
It might be what I need...

Yeah, maybe.

Who knew I could feel again
Who knew I could forget my...
My...
No.

No, thinking about it hurt too much. 

God, how could he have been so- so absolutely and utterly stupid!?

Memories, always seem to be
Always haunting me
Until I cant think
Then I try
Try to deny
I let him die!

But he did. He did let him die.

Then I pour myself a drink
Then another!
And another drink
Until it does the trick

And that's exactly what he did. Roman had ran over to the counter, and clasped the whiskey bottle in his slightly trembling hands.

He knew he shouldn't drink, but it was the only way to take what had happened- No, what he'd done off his shoulders right now.

'Til I forget what's in my head
What I regret

Regret. So, so much regret.

Then I have another drink!
Then another!
Then another drink
Until i get my fix

He took another shot.

'Til the morning light
When the sun is bright
And nothing's right
I lost the fight
And I remember...

He remembers his job. All the missions, all the excitement, all the adrenaline.

I once was a spy
But I can't be a spy again
I once was a spy
How could I be a spy again

But..maybe he could? Right?

I once was a spy
But what if,
I was a spy again

His singing got louder as he re-gained some of his long lost confidence.

If a spy is a spy
And I once was a spy
Then I can be a spy again
Thought I could say goodbye
But I can't lie I wanna be a spy again!

He did. Oh, how he missed his job!

Wanna be a spy again
Gonna try again
Hop in a jet and fly again
Grow a spine again
Make it mine again
Do my best not to cry again

He could do this. Nothing was impossible...

And I know just where I'm going
Me and my partner Logan!-

He froze as memories of that night came back to him.

No!

No, he needed to get over it.

I'll do what I can
Try to make a plan
To be a better man
But nothing seems to stick
In the mirror
Nothing's clear
What is this beard?!
Ah!
Where's my drink?

He drank one shot more.

And another

And another.

No!
I'm gonna be sick

He knew that.

Logan please,
If you could see
What's become of me
What would you think?

With that, he slumped into a chair. 

What would he think? 

No, he didn't want to think about that. He- he couldn't.

If a spy is a spy
And I once was a spy
I think you'd want me to spy again

He would...

To put this drink down
Turn my life around
I wanna be a spy again

Roman wanted his old life back.

Spy again
Its who I am
Doesn't even matter if I killed my best friend!

It was four years ago. 

Spy again
Wear a suit and tie again
Drink martinis and drive again
Spy again
Get by again
Feel like a real important guy again
Fight crime again
Its do or die again
Get my life right again!

And finally, after years of grief, Roman felt like himself again. He could do this. It was what he was born for.

His courage, his motivation, his energy.

He was born to be a spy.

Owen would want me to do this
So I know that I'll get through it
Cause a spy is a spy is a spy is a spy is a spy!
And if I once was a spy
Then I'm gonna be a spy
The best
Fucking spy...
Again!

Yeah!

- - -

Hope you liked it!

Again, check out "Spies Are Forever", I totally recommend it!

Byeee!

~K.A.P.!

🖤