TW: Cussing, a gay demon, and a gay angel. You've been warned.

Good Omens au? Good Omens au.

(And no, you don't need to watch the show/read the book to read this story, you'll pick up.)

{Third Person POV}

Virgil sat outside of the wall, the blaze from his sword and the sparkling stars his only source of light as a circled around the tall wall that contained the sleeping humans the All Mighty wanted him to keep an eye on. Apparently some demons had found out about Adam and Eve's placement on Earth and decided to try and wreck havoc on them, and it was Virgil's job to make sure the two didn't get attacked.

He had already had to get rid of one disguised as some animal he didn't even know the name of, it was small, furry, and fast though. It also made this odd squeaking noise that had nearly scared Virgil's wings right off. That was nearly an hour ago though and as he circled back to the grand entrance of The Garden something flew down in front of his face.

He let out the loudest and most high-pitch scream imaginable and stumbled back, falling into the sand with a hard oomph. He sat up and was met with a black, winged creature flying directly above him, with the animal equivalent on an arched brow. It was similar to the other one he seen, though it didn't have a tail but had wings and small pricked up ears. It looked at him with that confused look and Virgil sighed, laying with his limbs spread out on the sand. He would have compared this to a starfish if he knew what one was.

Virgil sighed, a shuddering one with his eyes shut, "So sorry, I'm extra skittish today." The creature swooped down and sat on Virgil's chest, it's wings wrapped around itself like a blanket. Virgil opened his eyes with a smile, reaching out to pat the animal on the head, "Well aren't you a cutie? Wonder what your name is."

The animal of course didn't answer verbally, instead just nuzzling into Vidgil's palm. Virgil sat up, sand in his hair as he carefully cupped the animal with both hands. "You really are adorable. Would you like to keep me company?"

The bat simply flew over and sat atop Virgil's blond hair, nuzzling into the soft strands. Virgil patted it one more time on the head and stood up, wiping the coarse sand off his white robes and picking up his sword from where it had collapsed on the ground. Luckily it didn't start a fire, which made Virgil let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank goodness for that, if I caused a fire I'd never hear the end of it." The animal let out a little noise that was similar to the one the earlier demon animal made. High pitched and obviously it's way of communicating. Though unlike the demon this one was more like the animal was calmly talking to him, rather than trying to scare Virgil.

So Virgil went back to circling The Garden, but now with his little furry friend atop his head, listening to him as he spoke about the All Mighty's plan for the humans and Earth. About how it made him a tad nervous for the outcome but he knew it had to happen, that it was ineffable. While he did feel silly talking to an animal that couldn't talk back, he still did it. It made him feel calm knowing that this small, adorable creature wouldn't think it was odd for saying this and accuse him of being fallen.

Eventually, when the sky began transitioning from that dark, inky black to a pale blue it began to rain. Small droplets splattering on the sand and clumping it up, yet Virgil's sword was still glowing bright. Virgil, not wanting his little friend to get wet, bent both his wings to make a small roof above both the animal and himself.

The animal made a small noise of gratitude and Virgil continued his job.

~

Virgil sighed as he slumped against his desk reading glasses discarded as he rubbed his temples. The day was hectic and he'd really enjoy relaxing with a Guns 'N Roses vinyl and the nicest bottle of wine in his cabinet. He's fairly sure he still has that bottle from his shop's first day of being open.

As he was planning his relaxing night in with drinking, classic rock, and his pet cats, he heard that familiar chime of his shop door's bell. It was followed by footsteps towards him and Virgil didn't even bother looking over, instead sifting through his vinyls.

"Sorry, we're closed right now." He said, prepared for some kind of rant from the customer as he picked up his desired album. "Guns 'N Roses Greatest Hits", perfect for his relaxing night.

"Aw, even for me?" Virgil's eyes widened at the demonic presence and the other's permanent smirk stayed plastered on his face at his reaction. Virgil looked around, as if his bosses had magically spawned into the shop, they've done it before after all. They didn't though and he snapped, the sign in the front door changing to Closed.

"What are you doing here?!" Virgil whisper-shouted, Roman raising his eyes in a very amused way under his circular sunglasses. He leaned across the counter, propping one arm on it and resting his chin on top, "Ángel, I thought you'd miss me. I haven't seen you in almost a week. I missed you."

Virgil furrowed his eyebrows in frustration at both the pet name and the fact that Roman was right. The two hadn't seen each other in nearly a week thanks to whatever Hell was having Roman do for them. It wasn't like Virgil really cared, it was just annoying when his plans went awry, and the demon across from him could be planning something that could harm him and the rest of the angels.

The pet name though, which Roman has been calling him ever since he learned Spanish way back in 1879, was simply just annoying because Roman came around to talk about meaningless things to Virgil and wouldn't even say his name. It was annoying but he wouldn't stop.

"Yes, and why did you decide to come now? You know I drink on Friday evenings." Virgil had crossed his arms and Roman snapped, a bottle of wine appearing on the desk and next to Virgil. He raised his eyebrows, suspicious about what was in the bottle as he picked it up. He smiled upon reading what it was.

"You know Moscato is my favorite." He said as Roman sat up straight, that smirk still on his face. "'Course I do, and I also know that a slice of strawberry shortcake just appeared in your living room." While Virgil knew he really shouldn't.... fraternize with a demon, he truly couldn't resist the gifted wine and it was only fair to invite the other upstairs to share it with him.

"Fine, come on in, take off your shoes when you do." Virgil turned, walking off to the staircase in the back that went up to his apartment. Roman happily followed behind, switching off the light as he did.

Once the two got upstairs and took their shoes off Roman immediately scowled at the familiar pounce of a black cat. "I swear to fuck if you don't get this blasted cat away from me I'll kill it!" Roman exclaimed the empty threat as the cat flicked it's tail in front of his sunglasses, crawling it's way to his shoulder similar to a parrot.

"No you won't! Besides, Gerard loves you, and you know he hates almost everyone." Roman scoffed, "Right. Well I think it just senses my evilness and thinks we're the same." Gerard was still on Roman's shoulder, with no plans on moving as Roman walked over to the couch.

Virgil rolled his eyes, "You're so dramatic. He's a cat." Roman grumbled something under his breath and Virgil handed him the vinyl. "Here, put this on the player." Roman took it with a dramatic sigh as Virgil went to retrieve some wine glasses. Couldn't miracle everything after all.

As he did he heard something clatter as his other cat sat on the counter, examining the bottle with a look of wanting to push it off the counter. Virgil shooed him away, "Get away Syd, you can't have any of this." The grey and white cat stared up at him, annoyance all over his furry face.

"Don't give me that look. Last time you got ahold of my Moscato we had to get your stomach pumped and I couldn't afford to buy a new bottle." It was true, the nosy cat had managed to drink almost all the white wine left and was throwing up everywhere. After a gruesome anxiety attack thanks to his corporation and a surprisingly sweet talk from Roman, both Virgil and Syd made it out fine.

"¡Ángel! Hurry up and quit talking to the other one!" Virgil rolled his eyes, grabbing the only two wine glasses he owned. "I swear, he's so impatient."

"I can hear you!"

"Well then you should know that you're impatient and need to calm down." Virgil said as he re-entered the living room, Roman's socked feet propped up on the coffee table. He glared at him and Roman put them on the floor as Virgil sat, Syd laying on the arm of the couch next to him.

"Just 'cause I heard doesn't mean I care." Roman took his glass after Virgil was done pouring the white wine. He took a sip and watched as Virgil did the same, grinning ear to ear after he did.

While Roman didn't care for Moscato, it was too sweet for him and felt more like a liquefied dessert, he loved Virgil's reaction each time he drank it. That grin after he takes the first sip and the satisfied smile as he continues drinking, smooth and beautiful and real while he snacked on something equally sweet made this stupid corporation of Roman's flush red. No, he couldn't drink Moscato everyday, but he could watch Virgil drink it everyday.

Virgil picked up the strawberry shortcake from the coffee table and used the fork already there to take a bite, taking another swish of his wine to wash it down. His smile stayed, black, lipstick stained lips curling in such a beautiful and ethereal way that he truly looked like an angel. One of the cherubs in old painting with fluffy wings and rosy cheeks with blond curls. Except Virgil had black and purple hair and dark under eye make-up with no rosy cheeks.

Roman leaned over, pointing at the cake, "Can I-"

"Yes, yes, go ahead." Virgil gestured in a very casual way and Roman grinned, taking the big red strawberry on top of the cake. Another perk of being a fruit bat, other than the great hearing, was the fact that fruit always tasted so damn good. Better than any dish the humans could make.

Gerard seemed very interested in the strawberry as well, peering over to try and sniff it before Roman pushed his face away. Gently, of course. He could never harm the things Virgil loved so much. "Watch it cat, this one's mine." Roman then popped the berry in his mouth and Gerard stared at him as if he had just physically harmed him and his children before jumping off his shoulder.

"Great, now you've offended him." Virgil said and Roman sputtered in disbelief, "I offended him? It tried to take my food!" Roman gestured to where Gerard was now sniffing the two's shoes.

"It's not his fault, he loves fruit too." Roman rolled his eyes. Virgil truly treats those cats as if they're actual children, with ear scratches and I love you's that Roman would kill to have.

Well, maybe not the ear scratches. Perhaps in his bat form though.

"So ángel," Virgil glared at him from over the rim of his glass, "Anything new with you?" Virgil shook his head, setting his glass down. "Not really. Bought a new eyeshadow pallet though." Roman raised a brow, "Wow, fifty more shades of black? Didn't know there was so many."

"Well aren't you a comedian? And what's new with you?" Roman shrugged, "Not much. Just some assignments from downstairs. The usual." Roman tried not to sound as nervous as he felt, trying to put those acting classes of his to use as he spoke. "Y'know, tempting people to sin, pulling pranks, making kids chant in Latin to their teachers. The usual."

Virgil raised his eyebrows, amused. "Oh really? That's why you came by with wine and cake?" Shit. Maybe Roman shouldn't have listed so many things, that usually makes people suspicious. He could try and lie himself way out of this, but Virgil has quite the piercing stare for an angel and that would just make Roman more nervous.

So he just groaned, slumping down into the cushions of the couch, wanting to simply sink into it and dissappear. Unfortunately he couldn't and Virgil took his wine glass so he wouldn't spill any of it, putting it next to his. "Roman, what's wrong?"

Everything. Mainly the end of the world but this hopeless pining really isn't helping either.

He sighed, taking his sunglasses off and hanging them from his shirt collar. "Virgil, don't be mad." Virgil squinted, suspicious, "Okay...."

Roman looked Virgil in the eye, his pitch black ones meeting Virgil's violet ones. "The anti-christ is on Earth."

There was first silence. A long, thick silence between the two that didn't look like it would be interrupted until there was a crash from the kitchen. Virgil jumped at first before getting up and walking in there, practically running to get away from what Roman had just said. Maybe if he gets away from him he'll get away from the problem. Maybe he won't have to face the reality of what he just said.

He walked in the kitchen and seen that while the two were talking Syd had went in there and knocked over a hanging frying pan from the wall. He sighed and picked it up, simply putting it on the counter as he leaned against the sink, trying to get his thoughts in order.

He was already on Earth? How did this happen? He hasn't been counting but surely this is early, maybe they scheduled it wrong. Or maybe Roman was lying.

As he was thinking, also trying to come up with a plan to put an end to the end, he seen familiar sunglasses hanging from a familiar maroon button up. He looked up and was face to face with Roman, who looked just as stressed as Virgil felt. His eyebrows were knitted up and his eyes were softened into this sympathetic expression that made Virgil feel just a bit better.

"Vee I know you don't want this. I don't either, but I don't know how to fix this." Virgil sighed, rubbing his temples with his thumb and pointer finger, "Roman this has to happen. Neither of us want this to happen but the All Mighty does. Either way the Earth will end in..." He casted Roman a questioning look.

"Eleven years." Roman said softly, fiddling with his hanging sunglasses and looking down at the tile floor. "And a week."

Virgil's eyebrows rose, "He's been on Earth for a week?! And you didn't tell me earlier?" Roman rolled his eyes, "Ángel, I was busy. Believe it or not driving a newborn all the way to his new family is hard. Did you know those things can't talk? They cry!" He shook his head, "Most annoying creature ever! Don't know why they even wanted one."

"Well who are his parents?" Virgil tried to ignore the rant about babies, he just needed to find out where he was. Roman huffed, trying to think, "Some politician up in Ohio. Think his name is Ben." Roman unhooked his sunglasses from his shirt collar and slipped them back on.

"Well... do you think we'd be able to... neutralize him? Maybe instead of being on only one side he could be on both, or maybe neither." Roman bit his bottom lip in thought, thinking hard behind those sunglasses of his.

"Guess that could work. You could be a guardian angel, I could be a guardian... demon." Virgil smiled, nodding, "Exactly! We could be his neighbors or I could be a nanny!"

Roman broke into a grin, "You're a genius Vee."

~

They ended up going with both of Virgil's ideas. The two moved into the house next to the family and despite Virgil having absolutely zero experience with a five year old boy, by some miracle he managed to land the job of being a nanny. This totally wasn't because of some magical powers that a certain demon had to ensure his ángel could get the job.

While Virgil worked and took care of the anti-christ, which had been named Tommy, Roman would stay inside the house and essentially just lounge around. Of course he'd clean and sometimes cook so Virgil wouldn't have to do more things around the house, but he was a lazy demon who enjoyed just watching movies most of the day.

It was a fairly peaceful life though, even if Virgil had to leave his quaint little shop Roman would sometimes drive by to make sure nothing had happened to it. While he would do whatever he wanted Virgil would spend his entire day with Tommy, who was a very hyper and impatient boy. While he was also very sweet he was still a kid and had gotten into his fair amount of trouble. This was mainly because Virgil would invite Roman on their outings and Roman would use the opportunity to teach Tommy the exact opposite of whatever Virgil had said.

Of course he had to try to ruin it just a bit. How demonic would he be if he just sat around singing musicals to his plants?

It was simple things, telling Tommy that it would be perfectly fine to lie if it were helping someone. That he'd do wonderful things one day and that the world was his to own. It was true after all. Tommy liked the idea of people listening to him about whatever he liked though and would often force Roman to play with him. So that didn't work out for the demon.

That was life for nearly six years. Eventually though Tommy's parents both had enough free time to let Virgil go and the two moved out of their little house and went back to their respective apartments. Believe it or not Roman hated that, he liked and got used to living with Virgil, it was very domestic and he felt that the two grew closer. He felt like a normal human husband with his other normal human husband who would sit around and drink wine together while eating dinner.

Oh well, one can wish.

Although currently the two were sitting on a park bench, Virgil with his hands in his lap and Roman with his legs crossed knee on knee. The two's anxiety was spiked higher than they even knew possible and despite how beautiful it was outside the two couldn't feel anything more than dread as they watched a now ten-almost-eleven-year-old skip happily with his mom, planning his birthday that was only three days away.

Roman let out a deep sigh, leaning into the back of the bench for some kind of comfort. "It's near, ángel." Virgil nodded grimly, "I know."

"We need to stop it." Tommy noticed a shiny and flat rock on the ground and picked it up before catching up with his mom.

"I know."

"You realize we won't be able to do anything here again? No more classic rock, no more surprisingly good animated movies, no more goth clothes. It'll be gone. Just a memory." Tommy got his mom's attention and skipped the stone, cheering and gushing about how far it went.

"I know. I know that Roman, but what do you want me to do?" Virgil turned to look at Roman and he blinked a couple times behind his sunglasses.

"I dunno." Roman shrugged, "I'd say kill the kid so there is no anti-christ, but you'd never agree to that. And I'm personally not up for killing kids." Virgil gasped, "Of course I wouldn't!" Roman nodded, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, figured." He sighed again. "Don't know what else to do. Guess we better see if he names the Hell hound."

Virgil hummed before putting together what Roman just said and quirking a brow in confusion. "Wait, Hell hound?" Roman nodded, "Yeah, it's gonna protect him, be loyal to him, all that fun stuff. When he names him then it officially starts."

Virgil thought, "So... we could just make sure he doesn't name the hound?" Roman mulled it over before a smile spread across his face. He faced Virgil, "We could. We could crash the party, distract the hound, and boom! Armageddon avoided."

"Perfect! It's fool-proof, there's absolutely no way we'll ruin this."

~

The two managed to ruin it.

First of all, the two had to constantly keep an eye out for kids murdering each other over piñata candy and also a big, terrifying hound. Not to mention the looks Tommy's mom kept giving them, with glances every few seconds like she knew exactly who they were. Despite Virgil reverting back to his blond hair for the occasion and Roman straightening and making his longer, she must have had some kind of déjà vu upon seeing Roman's sunglasses and Virgil's eyeliner.

She didn't say anything though and the two continued their jobs.

Now, Roman knew that the Hell hound was to arrive at three on the dot thanks to overhearing some conversations while downstairs. And say what you want about demons, they were alway on time.

So when three o'clock passed and next thing the two knew it was three fifteen, Roman grabbed Virgil by his wrist and dragged him to the car. As the two stumbled through the yard and to Roman's parked car Virgil snapped and his hair was back just the way he liked it, along with Roman's short curls.

"I can't believe we screwed up. Of course it was the wrong boy, why wouldn't it be?" Virgil got into the passenger seat and Roman slumped his head against the steering wheel.

As Virgil put on his seat belt there was a crackling from the radio, despite the fact that Roman hadn't started the car. A scratchy voice came out, "Roman, this is Remy. Do you see the hound?" Roman didn't recognize the voice or name and it didn't matter, the only reason they cared was because he was the only demon stationed near the anti-christ.

"Uhhhh.... yep! Nice and evil looking, you guys did great." A hum of approval crackled through the radio before it went silent.

The two slumped into the car seats, stumped on where in the world the real anti-christ was.

Well that's very simple to answer. The real anti-christ, who was actually named Thomas, was out in the forest with his friends, happily talking about his birthday.

"What do you even want for your birthday?" Nico asked, sprawled on the ground and staring up at the bright sky. Thomas shrugged from where he was sitting on the discarded lawn chair his parents gave him. "I dunno. I kinda want a dog, think that'd be nice."

There was a low, guttural growl from deep in the forest, following the dark scent of the anti-christ with sticks breaking under it's footsteps. Unlike a normal dog or wolf the Hell hound stood on it's hind legs very similar to a person, and after hearing Thomas' voice, began running on all fours.

Joan scoffed from the low tree branch they were sitting on, legs swinging. "Yeah, they're gonna getcha a real big Rottweiler." Thomas scoffed, smile on his face at his friend's teasing, "I don't want a big one, I want a small one."

The Hell hound skid to a stop, it's pricked ears twitched to listen.

"Well what kind?" Thomas shrugged, "A small one, so I can pick it up and put it in bags. Also with long hair, 'cause then I can put it in ponytails." Nico chuckled, "You can use my sister's hair clips. They look like sparkly butterflies."

A confused growl emitted from the Hell hound, tilting it's head before morphing into what Thomas had just described. A small, white shih tzu with fur that dragged on the forest floor.

"Well what would you even name it?" Talyn asked and Thomas shrugged once again.

Little did he know how high the stakes were, how, when he named this dog it would bring on the end of the world. The Hell hound took another step forward, behind the tree Joan was in, ready to be named.

"Think I'll just name it Dog, saves alot of time." Now was the time.

4311 words

Heyyyyyyyyy, did you miss me? You did<33

I literally have no excuse for not updating this other than I'm working on other stories. Not to mention how much I'm obsessing over my art project, Our Flag Means Death, and the fact I'm failing almost all my classes.

Anywho, I got the inspiration for this from GO and TSS (obviously🙄) and from one of those OTP prompts where you just make one ship another one. Also yes, there will be a part two, not sure when though so don't hold your breath.

(AlsoI'mliterallyobsessingoverthisaupleasehelpme)

Anyways,

Bi~❤💛💚💙💜