TW: Cussing, vague suicidal thoughts, arm-breaking, and Remus.

Human au

{Third Person POV}

"Come on Vee, cheer up."

Virgil's looking at the floor of Roman's car, his hands in his lap and picking at his painted nails, scratching the dark violet off and into a small pile of shavings onto his pants. He's trying not to think about how awkward he feels, despite having known the other for so long. It still feels weird actually talking and doing things outside of school, and without Virgil's school uniform he feels like the other is silently judging his clothing choice. Especially for that particular day, who wears all black and long sleeves in the Summer anyways?

But Roman is smiling and laughing and he's playing upbeat songs from musicals and Disney movies and it feels familiar and nice and friendly. It feels like he's trying to make Virgil happy and calm, trying to get rid of all his anxiety, even though that's certainly not possible. It feels like he cares about Virgil and the thought makes his face tint pink and hands become even more sweaty. He tries to ignore it.

"I'm cheerful." He says, looking out the window, although his tone is quiet and sad, but to be fair his voice is always like that. He watches the fields and trees blur as they wind down the country road, dirt kicking up behind the tires. It's a picture-perfect day, the sun is shining and it's the end of May. Or maybe it's June first, Virgil didn't check the date that morning.

But it doesn't matter because the sun is bright and the sky is so blue and cloud-free, the trees tall and Roman is absolutely beaming as another song plays from the playlist of Broadway and Disney. He had called it The Perfect Car Music when he had first put it on, and Virgil was too busy smiling to disagree.

But Roman loudly sings along to the song, and Virgil doesn't recognize it, but it's very upbeat even though it mentions abuse and someone's sister dying and something about repressing your feelings. But Roman is singing with the biggest smile on his face and his big, brown eyes are sparkling and Virgil can't stop watching as he listens to this morbid song. He isn't even taking in the lyrics anymore, just watching as Roman, beautiful, lively Roman, is singing and having the time of his life while doing so.

He notices Virgil's staring as a singer says something about a friend from fifth grade. But Roman holds out his hand and it takes a moment for Virgil to realize what he's trying to do. Virgil holds his hand out too and Roman takes it.

Virgil tries to ignore how sweaty his hands are, how his bitten and short nails clash with Roman's perfectly manicured ones. Pale and tawny hands contrasting as Roman brings them down to rest on the center console.

They're holding hands. Virgil is holding hands with Roman, he's holding hands with his friend as they're driving down to the middle of nowhere and it feels weird having Roman's fingers intertwined with Virgil's own. It's weird because Roman looks so calm about it, having went back to singing, and Virgil is panicking about whatever it means. Did it mean anything? Or was Roman just being nice? Maybe this was just how Roman was when he got close to people. Patton did it after all, but Virgil never got like this when Patton did things like hug or hold Virgil. There was a sense of comfort, sure, but this? He feels like he's about to explode from how much the gesture is making a commotion in his stomach, but Roman is still just singing this weird song.

"Hey, you want ice cream?" Roman asks as a building comes into view. Virgil takes a moment to answer and decides to just shrug. "I didn't bring anything bu-"

"Nah, I'll pay." Roman reassures, already turning into the parking lot. The bump from dirt to concrete makes their still intertwined hands rise up for a moment and Roman squeezes Virgil's hand as he badly parks.

"You're crooked." Virgil says, looking out his window and down at the way the front tires overlapped the white lines. Roman just rolls his eyes, but there's a smile on his face. "Oh, whatever. You can't do better." He lets go of Virgil's hand and Virgil realizes just how cold his hand feels without Roman's holding it. He forms it into a fist and presses his nails to the palm, deciding that he needs to do something with it.

"What flavor do you want?" Roman asks as he unbuckles his seatbelt. Virgil notices that the radio is still playing, Roman's phone still plugged into the aux cord, and his keys are still in the ignition.

"You really don't have to-"

"I want to! What flavor?" He still hasn't taken his keys out or pick up his phone, and he opens his door instead.

Virgil shrugs, "I dunno. Uh, vanilla?"

Roman laughs, "Basic. But fine, do you want anything on it? I heard this place has amazing homemade fudge." Virgil just shrugs. "You can- I really don't care. Surprise me?"

Roman smiles and nods, "Yeah, alright. Fudge it is."

And he moves to get out of the car and Virgil lunges forward, "Wait-"

Roman turns, eyebrows furrowed up in confusion, "Shouldn't you- Don't you want your phone?"

Roman just stares blankly, and his gaze goes down to the song playing. Virgil recognizes it as something from Chicago, he's not sure on the song though. "Well I thought you'd want to listen to music while you're in here. But you can change it if you want."

"You're leaving me in here?"

Roman's eyes widen in surprise, he had assumed Virgil wanted to stay in the car rather than go inside. He knows how Virgil gets when he goes places, especially if he has to order food. So yeah, Roman was going to leave him in the car, he thought Virgil would prefer that, and Roman only wanted to help him.

"I thought you'd want to be in here? Y'know, with your anxiety I just thou-"

Virgil's eyes widened as well, and he waved his hands in front of himself, "No, no, no, no, no, that's fine! I just, I didn't know." Roman's face relaxes, and he has the smallest and nicest smile on his face. "Uh, thanks though. That's sweet."

Roman's face tints red just bit, but Virgil can't tell if that's true or just a trick of the light, Roman's skin was dark enough to hide it if he was blushing, because Roman look cool as a cucumber.

"I'll be back soon, 'kay?"

Virgil nods and Roman shuts the car door as the song switches. Virgil recognizes it as Hopelessly Devoted To You, and he tries to ignore the lyrics.

He brings up his left hand, the one Roman was holding just moments prior, and simply stares at it. It looks the same, sweaty and pale and with nails that were bitten and had chipped polish. But something felt different. Felt warm and fluttery, even though his hand actually felt quite cold. It was very contradicting.

But he wanted Roman to hold his hand again, wanted to feel Roman's warm palm against Virgil's own, wanted that comfort once again. But that was probably just a once in a lifetime thing, something impulsive Roman had did. He was very impulsive, after all. This entire day was an impulsive thing, the two were just sitting in Roman's living room when he had the idea of going somewhere. Virgil didn't know where to go and Roman had thought for a moment before grinning and telling Virgil his idea.

Not to mention just now, when Roman stopped to get ice cream for him and Virgil. So yeah, it could have just been Roman being Roman.

So Virgil tries to shake it off, looking out the window and trying to think of quite literally anything else. It's doesn't work very well, but he tries his hardest.

Two more songs play. A bird flies by and lands on the front of the car, staring at Virgil before flying away once again.

And then there's a knock on the window and Virgil looks up to see Roman holding two cones of ice cream, a wide grin on his face. Virgil smiles back and leans over, opening the door for the other.

"Thanks, Vee!" Roman exclaims as he sits down, holding the vanilla cone with fudge on top of it out towards Virgil. He takes it, and their fingers touch for just a moment.

"Thank you for the ice cream. You really didn't have to."

Roman shakes his head and rolls his eyes, as if Virgil's thanks is something silly. "Oh please, I would buy you anything you'd like. You should know that by now, Vee."

Virgil feels heat rise up to the tips of his ears and his cheeks, and he smiles sheepishly, looking down at the treat. "Still. Thanks, Ro."

Roman is still smiling. But eventually his scoop of cookie dough ice cream begins to melt and drip onto his fingers.

"Oh, shit!" He looks around for some napkins and Virgil chuckles as he does so, nearly spilling his own as he did. But Roman eventually finds a napkin and wipes his fingers as Virgil laughs still, not bothering to hide it.

"How rude." Roman says in a teasing, light, tone. Virgil sends a Cheshire grin his way, "Am not."

Roman narrowed his eyes, "Uh-huh, sure. Lie too much and your tongue falls off, Vee. Or did your mom never teach you that?"

Virgil narrowed his eyes back, trying to go for an intimidating look, but the ridiculousness of this, of the two glaring at each other with ice cream in their hands made him crack and let out a series of giggles.

~

The two don't hold hands in the car again, mainly because Roman is busily trying to both drive and eat his ice cream. But there was more singing and also Roman constantly asking Virgil for some of his, and Virgil saying no with a smile on his face until he eventually caves and lets Roman have some.

And Roman gets fudge on his face and pulls over to tries and wipe it off because Virgil is too busy laughing at the other to tell him where it is. But it's great and everything feels fine and Virgil feels very comfortable. Even though Roman was both driving and eating and that should have made Virgil panic but he didn't even process it until they pulled into their destination.

He looks out the window and is surprised to see a faded wooden sign at the front gate, reading the name of their mystery destination.

Autumn Smile Orchard

Virgil side-eyes Roman, a look if confusion on his face, but Roman is busy looking through the windshield and up at the sign, the biggest smile on his face.

"This place looks old." Virgil comments, and Roman just scoffs. "It's as old as us."

"Is not."

"Is too. Closed down a few year ago though." Unbuckling his seatbelt, Roman picks up his phone. "C'mon, we're wasting daylight."

It takes a moment for Virgil to register what Roman had said, and his eyes widen in shock.

"Wait- It's closed? How are we-" A sneaky smile made its way onto Roman's face, and Virgil's face falls from shock to utter horror. He has to be joking.

"...No."

The smile stays, Roman takes his keys out of the ignition.

"No. Ro, that's illegal, we'll get- We could get arrested." Virgil feels his hands going down to his lap and he's once again chipping his nail polish off. The idea of getting caught is spinning in his head.

"Vee, we'll be fine, I promise. Nothing's going to happen to you, 'kay? We're good." He gestures to the wooden sign just outside. "Rem comes here all the time and never gets caught. We'll be fine."

Virgil really doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to get arrested, or to get hurt or for either of those things to happen to Roman, who's his best friend and who he can't even imagine spending a week without, let alone how long his prison sentence would be if he got caught here. Two teen boys loitering in some abandoned orchard? That's more than suspicious to the outside looking in.

But Roman looks so happy, so excited. Itching to get out of the car and to start running around with all the trees, his leg was bouncing and his eyes were bright. And Virgil doesn't want to imagine his disappointed face when Virgil says no. So he nods.

"I- Okay, fine. Yeah."

"Yeah?" Roman leans over a bit, and for a fleeting moment Virgil wonders if he's going to kiss him. He wouldn't be upset if he did. Not that he thinks about it often. Nope, that's weird. And Virgil may be mentally ill, but he's not weird enough to think about his best friend kissing him. Or cuddling him or whispering sweet and reassuring words to him in his ear.

But he doesn't do any of those things.

"Do you promise?" Virgil's voice is high and thin and desperate, but Roman nods.

"Of course."

Virgil sighs through his teeth and his hands come up from his lap and run through his violet and black hair. He hadn't wanted to dye it at first, just a few days ago, because he was scared of whatever weird looks he'd get from people, but Roman gave him as much reassurance as possible until Virgil opened the hair dye. But Roman had looked at him with so much adoration directly after that it still makes Virgil blush at the mental image.

"Okay. Let's go before I panic." Virgil says in an attempt to make light fun at his literal anxiety disorder, even though every other time he tries to it lands in a fiery crash. In an emergency landing.

But Roman gives him a smile and chuckles. "Don't panic Vee, we'll be fine. I'm here."

And God does that make Virgil's pulse jump, make his face warm and stomach all fluttery in the best way possible.

But the two get out of the car and struggle to get over the chain link fence, Roman's foot getting stuck and Virgil's jacket nearly tearing when he was at the top. But it was funny watching Roman struggle with his personalized Converse, so Virgil really isn't complaining.

But when the two are on the other side of the fence Virgil stares in awe, and he's sure Roman does the same. The open field is framed with trees, all bright green and their fall leaves underneath, mostly brown and wet from not being picked up, rather just left for the weather. But some of the trees still beared fruit, bright red apples that look delicious, even after years of the trees being left unattended.

The grass is up to their knees and Roman turns to him and holds out his hand once again. Virgil takes it.

"Where're we going?" Virgil asks, looking around to both take in the beautiful view and for anyone that might see the two. For anyone who might see them trespassing.

Who might see them holding hands, might see the loving look in Virgil's eyes as he looks at the other.

"Just gonna find a spot to sit." Roman says, bringing his left hand, the one not holding Virgil's, in a salute motion, shielding his eyes from the bright sun of the afternoon.

After a few more minutes of looking, Roman finds a spot he deems suitable. It's two tree stumps, side by side and perfect for them to sit on comfortably. Roman lets go of Virgil's hand for the second time that day, which Virgil can't even comprehend, because then that means that Roman held his hand, and that's a can of worms in of itself.

"So why exactly are we here?" Virgil asks, sitting on one stump as Roman sits on the other one, although he bends his legs out and puts his feet on Virgil's lap. Virgil tries to ignore it.

Roman shrugs, "I dunno. Talk?" He looks up at the sky, and the soft breeze waves his hickory curls away from his tranquil face. "Watched anything new?"

Virgil shook his head, "No. Uh, have you?"

Roman shrugged, "Kinda."

"Kinda? How's it a kinda?"

"Like, I've kinda watched something new, but it's more of I forgot it existed and then watched it, y'know?" Roman looks back at Virgil, gesturing with his hand as he talks.

"No, I- I don't know."

"You don't know anything. Nerd." Virgil scoffs at that, rolling his eyes. "That makes zero sense. If I'm a nerd then I'd know."

"That's what a nerd would say." And despite how Roman is kind of making fun of him Virgil is smiling because it's all in good fun, and he can reassure himself that it is. That all of the banter and the nicknames were in a joking way, and that Virgil could tell Roman if he didn't like it. Because Roman was so sweet and willing to reassure Virgil of any negative thoughts swimming in his head, it makes him feel like everything is fluttery.

"Hey nerd," Roman uses the toe of his shoe to lightly nudge Virgil's stomach. "Quit thinking so much."

"I'm not."

Roman rolls his eyes, "Yeah, right. I can see it. You have your worry face on." He leans over and Virgil once again has the thought that Roman will kiss him, but he doesn't. Again. He just pokes Virgil's cheek with his index finger before pulling his hand away. Virgil tries not to show his disappointment.

"I-" Virgil furrows his eyebrows, "I always have a worry face. I'm like, the embodiment of worry." It's true, Virgil has to take medication to put up the act of being a bit normal, and even then he's still off-kilter, like something is still wrong. A crooked picture frame.

"Well it's worse. You have that stress line in your forehead." Roman uses his own hands to draw a line on his own forehead, and Virgil feels his eyebrows furrow even more.

"That doesn't happen when I'm worried." He says, crossing his arms over his chest. Roman just looks amused, and leans over. He softly touches Virgil's forehead, where that stress line is between his eyebrows, and smoothly rubs his thumb there.

But Virgil's too busy staring at Roman and trying to comprehend what exactly was happening to say anything. And before he can properly understand Roman pulls himself away and smiles as if he just achieved something.

"There. All gone." And it's like nothing happened.

Roman then goes on to talk about whatever new band he found that week, about how peaceful their music was to the point it put him to sleep. No, in a good way Vee- Don't give me that look! Jerk. And Roman shoved Virgil but immediately grabbed his arm when it looked like Virgil would fall off the small stump. But Virgil was too busy laughing to even notice.

But everything's nice, and Roman starts referencing musicals and Virgil, while slightly annoyed, quotes Wicked when Roman quotes Legally Blonde, and it's amazing. It puts the biggest grins on their faces and they continue doing so throughout their entire conversation.

But eventually Roman gets bored of their spot and once again drags Virgil up by his hands to find something else to do. And his fingers are interlaced with Virgil's for the third, yes third, time that day, and it's nice. Everything is, and that could be from Virgil's medication or the serotonin that Roman gives him every time he tells a stupid joke while they walk.

Eventually they're not even looking for a new place to sit, and simply just walking down a trail, holding hands and just talking and laughing. And it feels so much like a date that it makes Virgil's heart ache. The worst part is he can't even tell if it's a good ache or a bad one, because he loves this moment so much, he wishes he could stop or slow time so he could live in it forever. But he knows that this will never happen again, the two won't be alone like this again, and it hurts.

"Hey Vee?"

Virgil hums as he looks at the wildflowers around the two, the purples and yellows and whites blending together beautifully with the tall grass. It's such a nice day, and he really can't get over it.

"What do you plan on doing next year? Or like, when we're out of school?" Roman tries to ask it in his usual calm tone, but there's a wobble there. Something sticking out that makes Virgil look away from the flowers and at the other's face. He looks worried, and he's biting the inside of his cheek, trying his best not to show it.

"I- I don't know. Why?" Roman sighs heavily, and he looks away, staring at the fall leaves becoming more and more prominent as they walk. With each step the trail changes from Spring to Summer to Fall, and it's a lovely gradient.

"Just wondering. I think I'll write a book."

Virgil raises a single eyebrow at that, and stops walking. Roman immediately does the same.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." And Roman's voice cracks, as if he's fourteen again and not a year ready to graduate high school. And for a second Virgil sees it, sees Roman's young face and somehow even brighter eyes. He especially sees the worry there. It's haunting.

"C'mon Ro, what is it?"

"I just-" Roman takes his hand back and wipes it on his red button-up, as if it's his hands that are sweaty and not Virgil's. As if he's as nervous as Virgil.

"Look Vee, I just don't want something to happen. Like, I want this to stay the same, and it's hard to imagine life without you. You're my best and most dearest friend." He pauses, wipes his hand again, and then he takes Virgil's and looks him directly in the eye. "You know that, right?"

Virgil works up the strength to nod in understanding. "Yeah, I- You're my best and most dearest friend too." God, he must sound like an idiot. His voice is weak and he must sound so pathetic, mindlessly repeating what Roman says. But he means it more than anything

Roman smiles, and it's no longer a worried one. There's no sign of him biting his cheek and no stress line between his brows. And they walk again.

They talk about what they want to do when they graduate. They tread lightly, trying to make everything positive and silly. Virgil mentions learning how to sail and they both laugh at the idea of Virgil actually going out on water that isn't from his bathtub. Roman mentions biking the Appalachian trail, even though Roman sucks at anything even remotely outdoorsy, especially long trails and especially biking them.

And as they walk they make their way out of the woodsy trail and into a yellow field, the grass dead but tall and leaves still decorating the ground. It's wide and there are even more trees beyond it, although much, much, taller.

"Y'know what, Vee?" Roman asks as they walk, the grass itching his exposed knees and sticks crunching under their shoes.

"What?"

"It probably sounds weird, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be today. It's just, this is great it's," he pauses, trying to think of a word, and he pulls Virgil closer by his hand, and Virgil lets him.

"It's...?"

"I can't think of a good enough word." He says sheepishly, looking down, "But it's great. I like it."

I like you.

Virgil smiles, "Me too. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

And then- get this, Roman leans over and one of Virgil's circling and repeating thoughts comes true. Roman leans over and kisses him.

And it's soft and amazing and for a moment Virgil doesn't even do anything. He just stands there, not processing a single thing as Roman's lips press against his own in the sweetest way possible. But eventually a coherent thought kicks in and makes Virgil kiss back. But Virgil has never kissed anyone and he really doesn't know what he's doing, but he's trying. He's trying to do it as softly as possible, and also trying to ignore the fact that he probably sucks at it and also his lips are very dry and very chapped.

But eventually Roman pulls away, and his face is flushed and eyes are dilated and he looks fantastic. Perfect.

Virgil can't find his breath, too busy using his remaining brain power to try and come up with something to say. But before he knows it Roman is letting go of his hand, to Virgil's horror, and running across the field.

And when he finally snaps back into it he hears a faint Follow me!

And he does.

He runs after Roman to the other side of the field, and he definitely looks weird while doing so, and his overall form is probably just as wrong. But his eyes are too trained on dark curls and a red button up and white shorts to even care.

Roman stops once he's on the other side of the field, and he stares up at a huge oak tree, craning his neck to take it all in. And when Virgil catches up, unbearably out of breath, Roman turns and kisses his cheek before pointing up, "Wanna climb?"

Virgil looks up, and looking up at it makes him feel inexplicably small and weak. But Roman looks undeterred by it, his other hand on his hip as he continues looking up, "That'd be cool huh? Seeing the world from all the way up there?"

Virgil looks back down and at Roman, and he just blinks at him. Roman had to be kidding. Virgil? Climbing a tree? Oh no, he knows he would fall off.

"I'm not climbing that." He states, and Roman leans over and pecks his lips.

Virgil can feel his ears warm and he looks back up, "It's just really high."

Roman uses his other hand to turn Virgil's face, cupping his cheek, and their eyes meet. And the tenderness he uses makes Virgil melt into the touch, leaning into it. Then Roman gives him another proper kiss, one that isn't just a second long and makes Virgil's heart stutter in his chest. And Virgil knows fully well what Roman is trying to do, but he smiles at it as he kisses back.

When they pull away Virgil is smiling and Roman is mirroring it. "You suck. You're trying to get your way."

"Is it working?"

Virgil looks up at the tree again.

"Maybe."

~

Virgil really doesn't know how to climb a tree.

To be fair he's never done it, which Roman somehow found surprising. But when Virgil was younger he was still his anxious and messy self, and was terrified of breaking something. And splinters, those always freaked Virgil out, the idea of something so small piercing his skin and staying there was a nightmare. But Virgil just overall doesn't like the outdoors. Neither of them do, yet here they are, climbing a tree.

But it comes naturally, and it's really not that hard if he doesn't think about it. One foot after the other, one branch and then to another, becoming a pattern as he climbs higher and higher.

Roman is farther than Virgil though, mainly because Roman had the kind of childhood where he regularly did fun stuff like climb trees and scrap his knees and run around screaming with his siblings in the summer sun. But also Roman's more confident in each step he takes, only looking once to see if the branch is safe. Meanwhile, Virgil tests out each branch at least three times, putting his toe there first before putting all of his weight there.

"C'mon, Vee!"

"I'm coming!" Virgil calls back, and he feels the wind snapping his jacket in the air, and he's doing his best not to look down, because if he does he's not sure if he'll stop moving or jump down. So it's best not to even entertain the idea.

He feels the sun shine on his face, the bight light nearly blocking out part of his vision as he stares up at Roman, who was now sitting in one of the thicker branches, swinging his legs like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like he wasn't twenty feet up in the air and the only thing between him and the ground was a tree branch. But the sun is shining on him too, highlighting the curves of his face and bathing him in a yellow glow. He looks lovely.

As Virgil stares he brings his foot up to go on another branch, to bring him closer to the other teen. And he's too busy staring he doesn't feel the way the branch bends under his foot.

But he feels the snap.

And then he's falling. Gravity is doing its work and the wind is rushing in his ears, his jacket flapping in the wind like a small cape, although unlike the superheros who wears capes Virgil isn't flying. But he is looking up at Roman and watches as he gets farther and farther away, becoming less and less detailed.

His thoughts are going a mile a minute in the short amount of time it takes for him to get to the ground, and he can't process a single one. But he does wonder, over and over again, if he's about to die. He doesn't know what it feels like to die, obviously, but he wouldn't be upset at the idea. Which probably isn't the best thought.

He hits the ground and hears a snap underneath himself, and there's a blistering pain before everything feels like it's numb. He stares up at the blue sky and all his thoughts block out his hearing. For that split moment there's no noise but that deafening snap echoing in his ears.

But Roman is climbing down from the tree as quick as possible, breathing heavy as he rushes over to Virgil. And Virgil stares up at his wide eyes, at the gleam of sweat on his face, and at the worry line in between his eyebrows. Virgil tries to lift his left arm to smooth it out like Roman did to him earlier, but he soon realizes he can't without a burning pain shooting down it.

"Vee?" Roman gently shakes Virgil's shoulder, and he whimpers softly at the pain he receives once again.

"Vee- Virgil, are you-" Roman collects himself, gets rid of the wobble in his voice, how frail and watery it was. He fixes it up, and a smile is now on his face. But it isn't bright at all, it's dim and sad and hard for Virgil to look at. But Virgil holds his right hand out, and Roman immediately notices the movement. He takes it and interlaces their fingers, gripping the other's hand tightly.

Roman sighs, "Okay, this is fine. We're fine. You're fine." He leans down and inspects Virgil's face closely, using his free hand to move his head around slowly, and Virgil stares up at him quietly. He doesn't know what to say.

"Yeah, you're-" He squeezes Virgil's hand even harder, "You're good, you're fine. You're not hurt."

Virgil could beg to differ, but he nods in agreement, Roman seems like he's trying to convince himself more than anything that Virgil is alright, and Virgil is willing to just nod and agree, even though he's pretty sure his arm is broken.

Roman nods, "Yeah. Okay, let's- let's get you up, okay?"

Virgil doesn't bother to say or do anything and Roman carefully helps him up, pulling his hand to give Virgil a start. And Virgil tries to use his left arm to hold himself but instead just falls flat onto his back with a quiet groan. He feels the grass brush againsg his head, and he sighs quietly.

"Virgil? Are- Is your arm okay?"

Virgil stares up at the sky and speaks up for the first time. "No."

"Okay. That's fine." Roman's faux positivity is starting to crack, his tone fraying into one of defeat. "I'll- We'll make a sling for you and drive you to the E.R., okay? We'll be fine."

"How will we make the sling?" Virgil tries to pull himself up again and Roman steadies him by holding onto his shoulders, abandoning his hand. His eyes are still wide and they look glassy too, staring at Virgil with more worry than Virgil could imagine on his face. It was jarring, to say the least.

"I don't know. Maybe we'll use your jacket? I'm willing to rip my shir-"

"Don't rip your shirt, you dingbat. Let's just- How about we go to the car?"

Roman nods, "Yeah. Okay, c'mon." He stands first and holds his hand out for Virgil, and when he takes it Roman pulls him up easier than Virgil expected. Roman really wasn't that strong, but maybe it was just the adrenaline, Virgil read somewhere that it makes people stronger, like moms with their kids.

And Roman loops their arms together, Virgil's good one and Roman's left one, and he carefully guides Virgil away from the tree. He treats him like he's made of glass, like another bone will break if Virgil simply just trips over a stick. He nearly does too, but Roman catches him before he falls and looks at him as if Virgil almost died.

"Are you-"

"I'm fine." Virgil says, and he's surprised at how calm he is. Virgil, who has an anxiety disorder, who had more than once had a panic attack over the idea of talking on the phone, was perfectly calm over falling out of a tree and possibly breaking a bone.

And meanwhile always confident and calm Roman is freaking out, even if he's trying to hide it. His eyes are wide and his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks like he's on the brink of crying. He looks like Virgil, and the observation makes his heart ache, he made Roman just as much of a mess as Virgil is. All because he doesn't know how to climb a damn tree.

Roman just nods and they continue walking through the field until they're back on the trail from earlier. They walk by the familiar trees and Roman is careful with every step he takes, guiding Virgil just as carefully. It's silent between them, the steady pattern of their breathing and their footsteps underneath them echoing in the orchard.

When they get to the fence Roman sighs deeply, shutting his eyes and leaning his head against the metal in defeat.

"Great." He mutters, breaking the silence between the two, tone one of disappointment.

"Maybe there's a hole in the fence? Like, farther down." Virgil gestures with his good hand and down the fence. Roman just nods, "Yeah, I'll look. Stay here."

So Virgil watches as Roman walks down the fence, looking around for any holes. Virgil leans against the metal and sighs, knowing he needs to talk to Roman, because something is certainly off. Roman keeps on glancing at Virgil with this awful look in his dark eyes, and rather than the brightness that they usually have he has a sad, dim look in them. That light was turned off.

A few minutes later Roman comes back with no change to his face, but he loops his arm with Virgil's once again and wordlessly leads him down, where there's a suspiciously large hole in the fence.

"Did Rem make this?" Virgil asks as he walks through, which is quite easy considering how the hole is taller than Virgil.

"I dunno." He shrugs as he walks through, and loops their arms once again, leading Virgil back to the car. It's still quiet.

And it's just as quiet when they get to the car too, and Roman opens the door for him, his hand shaky. Virgil looks up at him after sitting down, and he looks exactly the same as before, but the tears slowly fall as he looks at Virgil. He doesn't wipe them.

"Roman?"

And that seems to do it, because Roman bursts into tears, hastily wiping and covering his eyes. He's trembling and muttering something Virgil can't make out, rushing out the quiet words.

"Hey, hey, hey, slow down." Virgil uses his good hand to grab Roman's arm, pulling his hand away from his face. He gestures to himself, "C'mere,"

"But-"

"Come. Here."

Roman shuts up and gets closer, squatting down to Virgil's level, knees bent and looking as if he were sitting on an invisible chair. All those years in improve seemed to have paid off.

"In the car." Virgil tries his best to scoot over in his seat, "There. Sit with me."

"I ca-"

"Sit." He pats the seat and Roman wipes his cheeks, trying his best to fit into the cramped seat with Virgil, but his knee goes over Virgil's knobbly one, and his other one his hanging off of the seat entirely. He has his hands in his lap and his head is completely down, salty tears dripping down.

"What's wrong?"

Roman doesn't respond, but his eyes well up even more and he blinks hard, trying to make it stop. He lets out a shaky sigh.

"Noth-" He chokes on his words, "Nothing. How's your arm?"

Virgil frowns, "It's fine. How are you? And don't lie to me."

Roman sighs again, "Fine. Fine, I- I just feel guilty." He lifts his head but turns it away from Virgil, looking at the scenery. "Like, if I didn't bring you here, didn't convince you to fucking break in, didn't have you climb the tree, you wouldn't be hurt. I did it again, I-"

"Again?"

Roman stops and his shoulders become rigid. Stiff as a board.

"I- Did I say again?" His tone is high and nervous and he wipes his face again. "Whoops, slip of the tongue I guess. You know how tongues are, very slippery. Wet." His shoulders bunch up and despite Virgil not being able to see it, his face does too. Nose scrunched up, cringing at what he just said.

"Right... Well if you're just gonna lie I'll just stay here."

Roman whips his head around, "What? No, we need to take you to the E.R., your arm's probably broken, Vee."

"And yet you're here stalling. Now will you please tell me?"

Roman turns away again, "It's not- It's not a big deal. Just, one time I dared Rem to climb a tree and he broke his leg and I got in trouble, getting told he could've died or hit his head or something." Roman sniffled, "I know it wasn't my fault, I'm not that self-loathing." He clears his throat and wipes his palms on his shorts, "It's not that bad, I'm being dramatic."

"It's really not your fault." Virgil says, because he really doesn't know what else to say.

"I know." His voice is small and weak, and he still isn't looking at Virgil.

"Look at me?" He asks, because he wants to wipe those tears away himself, wants to smooth out all the lines in his face until he relaxes.

And Roman does, so Virgil brings his hand up to his face and does just that, smoothing out his face as he wipes those tears away. He runs his thumb on the soft skin and Roman flutters his eyes shut and sighs.

Virgil leans over and moves his hand down to cup Roman's cheek, and he presses the lightest kiss to his lips, and if Roman's eyes were shut he may not have even noticed it. But they were and he smiled.

"Let's get you to the E.R., your arm must be killing you."

~

"I can't believe you broke your arm." Janus says to Virgil a week later, holding and inspecting the cast on Virgil's left arm.

"Yeah, you're actually interesting now." Remus adds from next to him, and Virgil glares over at the other teen. Janus actively ignores Remus, something he's been doing for years.

"What? It's true!" Remus gestures to Virgil, "Look at him! He has some-" Remus cuts himself off, furrowing his eyebrows. "Shit. Jan, what's the word?"

"Pizzazz."

"Pizzazz! Vee finally has some Pizzazz!" Remus harshly pats Virgil on his left shoulder and Virgil hisses in pain, pushing the hand away with his own. "Don't touch me. You probably have AIDS."

"He doesn't have AIDS." Says Janus, letting go of Virgil's arm and crossing his own over his chest.

"How do you know?"

Janus blinks slowly and stares at Virgil for a moment.

"Anyways," He begins, "How'd you break your arm?" He points a well-manicured nail at Virgil's cast.

"Oh. I fell out of a tree."

Remus's high-pitched cackle drowned out whatever Janus was about to say, and he pats Virgil on the shoulder with a bit too much force once again as he does. "You fell out of a tree?! What the fuck are you? An acorn?"

Janus rolls his eyes "I've never seen an acorn fall out of a tree. And I'm sure you haven't either."

Remus genuinely looks hurt by that, "How dare you? I've seen plenty of acorns fall out of trees! Just yesterday one fell on your head!"

Janus raises an eyebrow, "That wasn't an acorn."

"Uh, yeah it was. C'mon Jan, use some common sense here." Remus tapped the side of his head with his index finger.

"That was a fucking helicopter leaf you oaf!" Janus snaps and both Remus and Virgil widen their eyes in surprise, leaning away from him.

Janus brushes it off, "Anyways, why did Roman sign his name so large? That's weird."

Virgil protectively holds his cast-ridden arm to his chest, a frown etched onto his face. "Don't be a bitch, Janus."

"I'm not! It's just weird."

Virgil rolls his eyes, "It's not. And he signed it because he was the first one to see it."

"Well how did he see it? We're your best friends and we found out just today." Virgil rolls his eyes again, something he tends to do mostly when with Janus and Remus. "He took me to the hospital. If you need to know so badly."

"Yeah, they went on a date." Remus pipes up, still to the left of Virgil, who widened his eyes and whipped his head around.

"How do you know?"

Remus' lips curl into a wicked grin, and his eyes narrow, he looks very cat-like. Mischievous.

"I didn't." And at that Virgil whips his head back around, eyes to the floor. "Oh- good, because it wasn't a date."

Janus rolls his eyes, "Sure it was. And a shitty one too, I've never been on a date that ends with a broken bone."

"Well you've never been on dates at all, so..." Virgil shrugs and there's a knock on the door. Janus glares at him as he goes to answer it.

He opens it and is met with a huge hug that makes his arm ache but heart swell and a smile make it's way onto his face. He returns it the best he can, one arm slung around Patton's shoulder and face nestled in the crook of his neck.

"Patton, get off of him. You could injure his arm even more, and the last thing he needs is even longer in a cast." Logan pipes up from behind the two, and Patton groans but quickly pulls away, a wide grin on his face. There's a note of worry in his eyes, but it's blocked out by the smile.

"Are you okay, Vee? How long do you need to wear the cast? How'd you even break it-"

"Okay, slow down." Virgil pats the other's shoulder. "But I'm fine, I need to wear it for about a month. But maybe more. And I fell out of a tree."

Patton gasps a bit, "You climbed a tree? Like, outside?"

"Don't sound so surprised."

Patton's eyes widen, "I'm not! I just- It's just good to know you're doing things. Going out." Virgil has a soft smile on his face, and he nods. It's a small one but it's a nod nevertheless. "I know."

Patton smiles again and leans down, pressing his lips to Virgil's violet hair.

"Hey, that's Ro's job!" Remus jeers from the kitchen, and Patton's eyes brighten and he bounces his way over to the kitchen to see him and Janus.

Logan is now in view, holding a plate of cookies covered in plastic wrap. He assumes Patton must have convinced him to hold it for him, because Virgil is well aware of how easily Patton can get Logan to do things he wouldn't do for the others. He clears his throat and pushes up his glasses, looking down at the plate. He holds them out.

"Did Patt convince you to hold these?" Virgil teases as he one handedly takes the plate. The cookies are cut into little hearts, and frosted too, all different colors of the rainbow.

"Oh- Uh, no. I made them." And Logan looks uncharacteristically shy, avoiding eye contact and scratching the back of his neck. "Although Patton did give me the recipe."

"Oh." Virgil says softly, his tone nearly a whisper. He looks down at the cookies again and smiles. "Thanks, Lo."

Logan looks up, and he smiles as well, and even though it's a small one it's the biggest one Virgil has ever seen on Logan's face. When Patton wasn't around, that is.

"It's nothing." He says, and Virgil just nods in understanding as he walks away and to join the others in the kitchen.

And then Roman is there, all smiles and bright eyes and swoopy hair. He isn't holding anything but he steps forward and that's all it takes for Virgil to completely fall apart and lean in, despite all the thoughts telling him not to, despite the doubt looming in his head, telling him that there's no reason to pursue this. But he does, and it's the best feeling in the world.

Roman kisses him back, hands going up to hold Virgil's face, attempting to pull him impossibly closer, their lips pressing together hard. And it was amazing, because Roman's lips were on his own and it makes Virgil's head spin even more, possibly because they hadn't done something like this in a week, when Virgil had first got his cast on and Roman dropped him off at his house, here, with a gentle goodbye kiss.

When they pull away Roman is looking down at Virgil's lips, and he can see it in his eyes that he wants to kiss Virgil again. The thought makes his heart jump.

"Hey dorks! Quit your kissin' and bring the cookies in!"

Virgil frowns at Remus' voice and Roman glares over at the general direction of Virgil's parent's kitchen, but then they make eye contact and laugh. And it's all okay.

They walk into the kitchen and the four are already sitting down at the round, wooden table. Patton and Logan are side by side while Janus is sitting on a chair and Remus is kind of sitting on a chair but also his feet are resting on Janus' lap in a way that makes Virgil think back to a sunny and beautiful day at an abandoned orchard.

But Virgil sits next to Logan and Roman sits next to Virgil, slightly scooting his chair away from Remus. Remus glares at him when he does.

"Patton, you did such a nice job." Janus says as Virgil takes off the plastic wrap, bunching it up and tossing it to the side.

"Oh no, I didn't make them. LoLo did." Patton waves a hand over at Logan, who looks just as sheepish as before, a nervous smile on his face. But Patton is beaming at him, and Virgil can see the other visible relax.

"You sure it ain't poisoned?" Remus asks and Logan's previous look is gone and he's glaring at Remus. He just shrugs, "I'm just saying. I've never had your cooking, maybe you'll kill us."

Virgil rolls his eyes as he picks up two cookies, passing the plate to Roman. "Oh please, Lo would've killed us years ago if that were true." Roman snorts from beside him as he picks up a red frosted cookie, "Hell yeah he would've."

"I would not." Logan retorts, crossing his arms over his chest. "Honestly, why in the world would I kill you all? You realize you're my friends, correct?"

Janus chuckles, "Well yeah, we're not total idiots. But we're also really fucking annoying." Remus, after grabbing his fill of cookies, hands the plate to Janus, who looks at the plate and hands it to Patton, not taking a thing. "And I'm not saying I would do it, but I'd kill Rem. Not out of free will, but like, if it were a bet."

"You'd kill my brother over a bet?" Roman asks around a mouthful of sugar cookie, and Virgil sees that there is some red icing by his mouth. He wants to wipe it off.

"No, more like if someone told me Kill your boyfriend and I'll give you a billion dollars. then I'd kill him." Janus smiles at Remus, "Sorry, darling."

"Don't say that! I'd be pissed if you didn't kill me. A billion dollars? You could buy at least ten tablets with that." He gestures with his hands, eyes wild, "I'd easily kill you for a billion dollars. Then throw a bad-ass viking funeral for you. It'll be disco themed."

"Would I be allowed to make a speech there?" Patton asks, passing the plate to Logan, who stares at the cookies as if he can't decide whether or not he likes how they look. He ends up putting them in the middle of the table.

"Hell yeah! Make lots of jokes to. Put the fun back in funeral." Janus and Remus grin at the phrase and Patton gives a happy little giggle at the joke.

Virgil rolls his eyes. "Y'all are dumb."

Remus scoffs, but it's really more of him just blowing a raspberry and making a loud, obnoxious noise. "Puh-lease, if someone offered you a billion dollars to kill your boyfriend you wouldn't agree?" Remus gestured to Roman, "'Cause Ro would kill you in a heartbeat."

Roman gasped loudly, either faking being offended or genuinely just that offended. "How dare you? I would never kill Vee, he's my favorite person." Roman leans over and Virgil thinks he's going to kiss him. Right here, in Virgil's kitchen and in front of all of their friends, who don't know about this odd relationship between the two. Are they dating? Or was this just for fun? Nothing serious, just something to get him through the day, give him some kind of human touch. Because Virgil could see it happening, he could imagine Roman telling him no and that he doesn't want anything to bloom from what is happening.

But he could also imagine Roman turning and telling him all about how much he loves everything about Virgil. That adoring look in his eyes, softly telling him every little thing Roman loves about him. Praising and loving him, assuring him that he would go to the ends of the Earth for him. He basically had before.

But Roman doesn't do any of that, instead just smiling, "Don't worry, I'd never kill you Vee."

And Virgil just stares, because this entire conversation was just about cookies, and now Roman is looking at him like he hung the stars and is telling Virgil he'd never kill him. And it's so absurd Virgil snorts with laughter, shaking his head.

"I'd never kill you, Ro."

8888 Words

HOLY SHIT I'M ACTUALLY DYING. EYES BURN, ARMS ARE HEAVY, MOM'S SPAGHETTI.

The ending is extremely rushed and I'm going to hate it when I wake up tomorrow, but whatever I posted and for once it wasn't Logicality. But whatever.

But have any of you checked out the Welcome Home ARG? Because I am absolutely IN LOVE with all the characters. They're just such cute little guys, even if Wally is a little fucked up.

I'm also getting back in my musical phase, hence why this chapter exists.

Also, try and guess the song the two were listening to before stopping for ice cream! Hint: The musical is written by the men who made South Park.

Oh and The Owl House ended and I'm really fucking sad about it. But I'm fine, I'll move on. Hopefully.

But on the plus side I'm part of this D&D campaign that my friend will be hosting, session zero should be this Thursday, which is when we'll make our characters and all that. I told my friend she should make a wizard with spells in charm. A Rizzard.

Anyways,

Bi~❤💛💚💙💜