-- C H A P T E R
F O R T Y - F I V E --

In the contract, it states that I must communicate with Freddie at all times. I had remembered this the next morning when I awoke and Freddie had asked me if I had made it home safely after Brian had been ordered to take me home.

'Yeah, I did. I apologize for not texting you sooner. After we talked for a few hours, I went home and crashed. Hope you can forgive me, Daddy.'

Seconds later, Freddie sends out a reply. When I read the text, I couldn't help but blush.

'Well, when you put it that way, princess... Daddy forgives you. I'm glad you're home safe, and I truly enjoyed your company. I still can't believe you're mine, now. I adore you princess. You deserve nothing but the best.'

Just as I was about to reply, Jade barges through my room with a pout on her lips and her hand on her hips. I look at her quizzically; trying to figure out what was going on.

"Uh, hi?" I awkwardly greet. "Can I help you?"

"You left without telling me?!" Jade exclaims. "I had to spend my entire night arguing with Eric about what to eat! Who was I going to vent to after I lost?"

I hit my lip to prevent myself from laughing. "I don't know," I reply. "the wall maybe?"

Jade huffs. "Some best friend you are," she states. "where were you anyway? Over at Mr. Control Freak's?"

I shrug. "Yeah," I state simply. "we hung out for a bit. He wanted to talk to me about some things."

"Did you sign the contract?" she asks as she makes her way to the bed. She sits at the edge of it, and looks at me.

I nod. "Basically." I look down, for some reason feeling a bit ashamed. "We then made out for a bit. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can take just kissing him. I want more, but at the same time, I don't want to feel like I'm making a mistake."

"You love him right?" Jade asks me. "I mean, sometimes the best way to show someone you love them is to give yourself completely to them." she looks at the mirror, then back at me. "I'm not saying to go have sex if you're honestly not ready, but if you are, make sure you are doing it because you really care about Freddie, not because of what he has down below or because you're feeling horny and want to get it over with."

I smile, then nod. "Thanks, J," I state. "I appreciate it."

A brief silence was made until Jade broke it again. "What does the contract consist of if you don't mind me asking?"

"Rules," I state. "I basically submit to him in the bedroom, and he respects me and my boundaries. One of those boundaries is for him to stop drinking, and of course, to wait until I'm ready to have sex."

  "So, is it like, a Master and Slave kind of thing? Or is it Dom and Sub?"

I feel a blush come upon my face. "He wants me to call him Daddy," I smile, embarrassed that I actually said that out loud. "and in turn he'll call me princess."

"Okay," Jade says, "now that's adorable!"

"What is?" I ask, confused.

"That he'll call you princess!" She laughs. "And don't worry, when Eric wanted me to call him Daddy in bed, I was a bit weirded out too." She swings her feet back and forth, then continues. "There's nothing wrong with it, girl."

"I know," I say, not looking at her for awhile. "it's not only tied to the bedroom though. I have to address him as Daddy outside of it, too. And that might be kind of awkward."

Jade laughs, then gives my shoulder a rub. "You'll be okay," she states. "and when he takes your virginity with that big dick of his, you better give me all the details!"

I blush even harder, trying not to think about Freddie completely naked, or The Playroom, for that matter.

"Can we switch to something else?" I ask, trying to suppress the thoughts from becoming more clearer.

Jade shrugs, then grabs a hold of the contract. Just as I'm about to protest, she is at the page where all the kinks, activities and gestures Freddie had placed on the contract.

She immediately tosses the contract back on the dresser, then nudges me. "You bitch!" She says, smirking. "Why didn't you tell me you were this kinky?"

My jaw begins to tighten. She shouldn't have grabbed the contract. She should have respected some form of privacy.

"Because," I quip. "you don't respect me." I state. "I don't appreciate the fact that you grabbed my contract. We aren't married. I'm your friend, and if I wanted to share any of the details with you, you would have known about it by now."

Jade knits her eyebrows together. "Well, you shouldn't have left it on your dresser for me to see," she gets up abruptly. "I'm going to my room. If Freddie decides to hurt you in that room of his, don't come crying to me. You wanted to keep this part of yourself private, so I'm giving you your precious privacy." She slams my bedroom door; leaving me alone to piece together what just happened.

Sometimes I wonder why Jade is even my friend...

I decided to go out for a walk. I hadn't done this kind of thing since I was sixteen. I had a lot on my mind: Jade's sudden outburst to my private life, Freddie and what was to come now that I'm in a contract with him, and school. Classes were the least of my worries, and I didn't know why this agreement I had signed was so overwhelming. Realistically, it was just Freddie and I getting to do things together, but we had pep names for each other, and once we got to be intimate, there'd be more intensity than just a flickering flame.

There'd be a fire, and I wanted all of that fire to consume me.

I found myself sitting at a round table inside of a Starbucks. I was scrolling through my contacts, trying to figure out who I should talk to. I wanted to talk to Jade, to apologize for being curt towards her, maybe try to get her to understand that what I have with Freddie was meant to be private. Just like her and Eric's relationship was mostly private beyond their obnoxious sex sessions. I could talk to Freddie, maybe vent to him a bit to see his opinion on the situation. As I thought these things over, neither of them made me eager to do anything.

I then see my foster mother's name on the screen. I click on the contact information, and for some reason, I decide to call her.

After the second ring, I hear her voice.

"Mom?"

°°

The first thing I tell her was that I forgive her for the way she had treated me growing up. When I had said that, I could hear the smile in her voice. When a brief silence was made, she noticed my dilemma.

"What's going on, sweetie?" I hear her ask.

I tell her about Freddie, and about our complicated relationship. I tell her about Jade and our sudden argument from earlier, and then I told her about my fears, hoping that they'd go away. When she had discovered I was dating her realtor, she was a bit surprised, but nonetheless seemed happy for me.

"First of all," she begins. "I want you to know that I'm happy for you two. Secondly, I need you to know something about relationships: You can't involve people in it. Unless of course the person you are with is a danger zone to you and themselves, then that's when you can seek help. There was a point in time where I was in the BDSM lifestyle, and let me tell you something: It never leaves you.
"I think you should just let Jade figure out on her own where she can be protective. She's your best friend, and although I haven't met her yet, I hope you will give me that privelege to do so. As for your relationship with Freddie, just take it slow -- enjoy what he is willing to do for you. Enjoy what you can do for him. And most importantly, communicate and strive to be each other's muse on a daily basis."

I nodded, listening intently to my foster mother's advice. She was right about Jade and about Freddie, too. What surprised me though was that she, too, was a submissive.

As we talked, I felt the weight of my past being lifted off of me. I felt like I had someone I could really talk to and not feel judged. I was grateful to God that He had changed my foster mother for the better, because had He not interfered into her life or my foster dad's life, I wouldn't be talking to her today. She had told me about the man she had submitted herself to, what he was like and why she had left him. The truth was, the man was a deceitful person, and had other submissives on the side; accompanied with contracts as well. She had also left him because she met my foster dad, who she truly felt she could submit to without any form of betrayal.

When Starbucks was coming to a close, I ended up having to tell my foster mom that I had to go. She understood and for the first time in my life, I heard her say the words, "I love you."

And for the first time in my life, I said them back, without any hesitation.

    As I shove my phone into my pocket, I slip my hoodie over my body and exit out the coffee shop, my chai latte in hand. The Texas night breeze welcomed me into a cool embrace, and as I begin to walk the way I came, I see a car pull up beside me.

Rolling down the tinted window, I see Freddie's eyes and a stern expression on his face.

"Get in." he says.

I gulp. I pull open the door and slide into the passenger side door. Once he starts to drive, Freddie remains quiet until we reach my apartment complex's parking lot. He stops the car, and stares out into the distance, not once looking at me.

Because the question had been on my mind, I had to ask it. "Are you okay, Daddy?" I ask, still feeling a bit weird in calling him that.

"No," Freddie replies curtly. "I'm not okay." He then looks at me, his eyes filled with disappointment. "You had me worried when Jade told me you went out. You didn't tell either of us where the Hell you were! You could have gotten kidnapped, placed into a human trafficking ring, or worse: killed!" He ran his hands through his hair. "When I informed you of constant communication, I meant it, Amanda. You can't just not go out at two-thirty in the morning and not expect anyone to be worried!"

"I'm not a child, Freddie," I reply back. "I knew my way back. And if you had bothered to text me, you would have known I'd be out."

"I understand that you're an adult, Amanda," Freddie continued. "it's the communication. You could have simply texted me, or left me a bloody voicemail saying you needed time to think about whatever the Hell you were thinking and then you'd be fine, but the fact is, you didn't communicate. This morning it was acceptable. You were tired, and I understood that. I just..." He sighs, sitting back in his chair. "I just need you to be safe, Princess. I don't want you in any kind of danger."

I nodded, feeling both respected and heard. I knew I was an adult, but I also knew that it would have been smart to communicate to either of the two closest people in my circle where I was headed. You can't be too careful these days.

"Now," Freddie gently cups my face in his hands. "why don't you tell Daddy what's wrong?" He unbuckles my seatbelt for me and ushers me to sit on his lap.

I place my hands on his chest, my legs straddling either of the seat, and begin to spill everything to him. From the sudden changes to our dynamic, to Jade's sudden outburst.

And Freddie listened; hanging on to every word.

°°°

Author's Note:

What do you guys think of this chapter? What's your impression of Jade's snappy attitude and do you think Freddie was being overdramatic?

Let me know in the comments section below!

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~ Valerie Matthews