Chapter 21

I was standing in the room frozen to the spot repeating in my head what just happened. The night took a full hundred and eighty. But he said he loves me. I clearly heard him to say it. And of course his actions during the time we were together were saying that to me. His romantic gestures. Him giving me so much attention. Did I really just blew it off by my stupid jealousy and trust issues with him? Did he left me for good? I started to hyperventilate. I felt tears in my eyes and I had to sit down. What have I done? Why did I let him leave?

It took me few minutes to calm down when I heard a knock on my door.

"Your highness?" I heard Tom behind the door. "Emma are you there?" I heard his nervous voice. I quickly wiped the tears off of my cheeks and went to open the door before he could kick them out.

"Are you okay?" he asked me when he realized I was crying. I hold my tears and walked out of the room passing him.

"I want to go home." I said walking down the hall and he followed me. "Please let my family know and tell them I am not feeling well." I said to him.

"Of course." He said and took out his phone and immediately briefed someone on the security team.

When we walked through our private exit the car was already waiting for us. One of the security guards opened the door for me and Tom sat down into the front passenger seat. I didn't wanted to be in the Palace. I knew my family would want to see me. I wasn't in the mood for them to see me like this and especially I didn't wanted to explain them what happened. Tears were falling on my cheeks as we were driving to the Kensington.

When I came home I immediately let out my sorrow. I couldn't sleep. I was up all night thinking about James. He was right. What is the point of being with someone when that person doesn't trust him? I also wouldn't be happy if he didn't trust me. What should I do for him to forgive me?

My phone started to buzz distracting me from my thoughts. I looked at the caller ID hoping it was James who was calling me. I was disappointed when the caller was Charles my assistant.

"Yes?" I picked it up annoyed.

"Where are you your highness? We are expecting you for your dress up." He said nervously. Oh bloody hell I totally forgot about another of our family events I am supposed to attend today. I really don't want to go. Maybe I should just call in sick. No then my family would question me and I really am in no mood for that. Especially my father. And we never cancel on our engagements.

"I am sorry Charles." I said standing up and quickly putting on jeans and sweater. "I will be there in twenty minutes." I said and turned the phone off.

When I came back to the Buckingham Palace and entered the dressing room my team stopped what they were doing and starred at me.

"Good morning." I said to them and sat down into the chair in front of the vanity mirror.

"It's good afternoon." Daisy my makeup stylist said shocked looking at the damage I have done to my face by not sleeping and crying.

"I know I look like a mess. But I know you can do something with that." I told her and she nodded.

"First I need some ice for those terrible bags under your eyes." She said and one of her assistants immediately speed out of the room.

My team did a great job because after they finished working on me nobody would recognize I was up all night.

"Hurry, hurry. Everyone is waiting for you. You are the last one." Charles said as I quickly run out of the room to the hall for the ceremonies.

"Finally you are here. We already thought you will not come here today." Henry said when I joined them as they were already lined up for the entrance into the great hall.

"Are you feeling better?" Emily asked me when we were standing behind our father. He gave me a scolding stare. He hated when we were late. I know I am going to get a lecture after the ceremony.

"Not that much." I replied when the royal fanfare started to play and the doors to the great hall opened for us and we walked in behind our father into the music of the Anthem.

The ceremony was dragging. I couldn't wait to be back at home and burry myself in the pity and sorrow. I miss James. This is the longest we haven't been speaking to each other since we started dating. No text and no phone call. I swallowed a lump which was forming in my throat. I can't cry. Especially not in front of three hundred people.

When the ceremony ended there was a free discussion between the guests and us. I had to play a nice princess and act like nothing happened. We were trained for that our whole lives.

I noticed a strange looks from Eva and Emily. They didn't say anything to me but I knew they noticed I had a miserable mood behind my nice princess mask.

When the dinner finished we could go and leave the guests to enjoy themselves for the rest of the evening. I immediately headed back to the guest room to change.

"Emma!" I heard a strong voice of my father and I closed my eyes. I really didn't wanted to deal with him. I was hoping to escape in peace. I turned around to see him standing next to the staircase.

"Join me in my office." He said, turned around and walked up the stairs. I groaned in desperation and followed him.

"Please sit down." He told me when we entered his office and pointed at the empty armchair next to the fireplace. Oh boy this is going to be long. He sat down on the opposite armchair and observed me when I was sitting down.

"Yes dad?" I asked him waiting for what he was about to tell me.

"You were late." He said looking at me intensely.

"I know and I am really sorry. It won't happen again." I said to him.

"As I remember we already had a discussion about you being late. You promised to me you will get better." He said.

"I know dad. I am sorry." I repeated and he raised his eyebrows surprised. I really wasn't in the mood for arguing with him which was unusual for me and he noticed.

"How are you doing lately?" he asked me with care and worry taking a sip from his glass of the finest whiskey he had. I am not going to lie I would drink the whole bottle right now to forget or maybe to find an idea how to get James to forgive me.

"I am doing fine." I replied shortly hoping this talk to be soon over.

"Do you feel better?" he asked me implying on my yesterdays excuse.

"I am feeling better." I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked me.

"I am sure dad." I replied

"Do you have something new in your life?" he asked me.

"What is going on dad? Why did you call me here?" I asked him directly and he frowned.

"I noticed your lack of discipline lately." He said. "We already discussed this but you coming up late today and yesterday leaving without a word was unacceptable."

"What? I told you I wasn't feeling well." I said outraged.

"Emma you are coming late to your engagements and you are unfocused." He said.

"Oh come on dad. We already discussed this. I never skipped any of my official engagements." I said

"I want you to come live to Buckingham palace until you learn how to behave properly." He said.

"Seriously?!" I asked him standing up. "You can't want this from me I am an adult dad." I said.

"You are an adult but you are not behaving like one lately! You are also Princess. You have a lot of responsibilities not only for yourself but also for this country." He said

"Why did you come to a conclusion I am not responsible? I have never missed any engagement. I am not attending parties nor do I appear drunk in public. You can't want from me to be staying here. I have a life too." He is insane wanting from me to stay here without any good reason. Unless... I looked at him suspiciously.

"Oh I know what is going on." I said and he looked at me tired. "It's not about my tardiness. It's about that stupid letter." I said and he frowned.

"You know about it?" he asked me surprised standing up.

"Yes I know about it." I replied and his face changed into worried one. "Don't even ask me how I know it. That's not the point right now. But why did you hide it from me?" I said.

"I wanted to protect you. I didn't wanted you to live in fear. I am worried about you Emma. And when you disappeared last night and you were late today it's not helping me not to worry." He said.

"Then why do you want me to live in the place where the letter was found?" I asked him. "I think me living in Kensington is safer than here." I said to him.

"The security here is tighter." He said.

"Oh don't say. And the letter was still found on my bed." I told him ironically and he closed his eyes.

"And here I thought I could persuade you to allow me to work." I said with desperate laugh.

"Don't start with that nonsense." He said.

"Okay dad. You know what I am not going to pursue my dreams but I am not coming to live into Buckingham Palace and lose the only privacy I have in my life." I said and pissed off I left his office smashing the door behind me. Could it get even worse?

The next morning Tom drove me to the studio. I went to inform Amanda I quit. She was really disappointed and was persuading me to stay.

"You have such great potential to become a great designer. Why do you want to leave? You have so much passion for this job." Amanda said confused when I was sitting at her office.

"I am sorry Amanda. I really appreciate you gave me a chance to work here and learn from you. But I can't do it. " I said to her. It was tearing me apart the deal was deal. My father didn't allow me to work and I promised to Tom I will leave if he will not agree with it.

"Did you find a job in some other studio?" she asked me.

"No I didn't. To be honest I can't leave our family business." I replied.

"Well I guess I can't persuade you to stay here then. I wish you good luck Sarah. And remember if you will need anything in the future I am here" She said standing up offering me hand.

"Thank you." I said and shook it. I walked out of her office to pack some things from my desk.

"What are you doing?" Jessica asked me watching me curiously.

"Packing?" I said if it wasn't clear enough.

"Did Amanda fired you?" she asked me.

"No. I am leaving voluntarily. I guess you can be satisfied now. Nobody is going to get on your nerves." I replied.

"But there is so much work you have to do. You have to order those curtains and go for the fabrics..." she said shocked.

"It's not my problem anymore. I guess you will have to make it on your own." I said and winked at her leaving the studio. Finally she will have to work.

When I came back home the only thing I wanted to do was to crawl into my bed and hide from the world. But when I walked out of the car I met Emily with Rosie in the stroller passing by.

"Hey. You were out early." She said to me.

"Yes. I had to take care of some things." I replied with no mood for talking at all.

"I am going to visit Eva. She has a day off and Henry is at work. Join us." She said to me.

"Hmm..." I was trying to come up with some kind of excuse.

"Come on Emma. You don't want to spend some quality time with your sisters-in-law?" she asked me reproachfully.

"Okay." I said with surrender. Either way I would be burying myself in pity and think about James or I could distract myself with their company.

"What a surprise." Eva said when she opened the door for us. "I didn't know you would be coming." She said hugging me.

"I met her on my way here." Emily said when we walked inside. She left Rosie sleep in her stroller in living room while we went to kitchen to make a tea.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked Eva.

"I am fine. Thankfully no morning sickness. I hope it's finally fading." She said putting a water into the kettle.

"I think you are already showing." Emily said with a huge smile.

"Do you think so?" she asked surprised looking at her belly straightening her shirt.

"Yes. What a lovely little bump." I said happy to see it.

"I can't wait to see Rosie to play with her cousin." Emily said excited.

"Me too." Eva added. We made the tea and took it back into the living room. I was taking a sip when I realized there was unusual silence. When I looked at my sisters in law they were watching me with anticipation.

"Yes?" I asked them grudgingly.

"Who is the guy?" They asked me in unison.

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Weeell.  I hope you liked this chapter. If you did please VOTE and let me know what you think about it in the Comments. BTW Happy Easter my lovely readers:-) 

Also I updated the Cover picture. Let me know which one do you like more. The first one or this new one :-)