Time froze.

My blood was like ice in my veins and I couldn't even tell if my heart was still beating.

"W-hat?" My voice was barely audible, Cassius looked at me, expressionless.

"I have a mate," he replied and leaned back.

My heart shattered.

That was it. That was really it. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to scream and cry, but it was as if I had no tears to cry.

"Ge-get ah-way fr-from m-m-me," I panted and weakly and pushed away from him, but my body felt like lead. I tripped and toppled onto the floor.

"Alabaster," Cassius called as if he were chastising a child, I shook my head and backed away from him. My palm rested on the corner of his desk as he rose to stop me from moving away. The pain that shot through my legs was dull compared to the excruciating ache in my chest. My lip quivered and I turned my back on him, sobbing harshly.

"Leave me alone," my voice sounded strong, but I was falling apart on the inside. "I don't want you to touch me if-" I broke off and squeezed my eyes closed, his hand bushed against my back but I pulled away. "I hate you, you're the worst thing that ever happened to me and I wish we had never met." I whispered and walked away, slowly and deliberately. The door shut behind me and every step was a marathon of broken bones. But I couldn't seem to stop. I broke into a jog, and then a run and tried to leave the pain behind me, but it hurt so bad. My head shook as tears finally began to well up.

Left.

My arm snapped.

Left.

Blood boiled.

Right.

My body ached

Le-

I tripped on a loose board and crumpled into a ball on the floor. It hurt. But I continued. I stumbled to my feet and leaned against the plaster wall breathing heavily. I pressed the side of my face to it and closed my eyes. Sobs heaved from my lungs as I clutched my arms to my chest.

Waiting there seemed like an eternity. Waiting for what? I don't know. A sign that I should go back, that I should ask him to explain. That he would tell me it was all just a joke and that he- that he loved me. My lips curled into a bitter smile, who had ever loved me. Who ever would? I was an incubus, I was not meant to find love or a mate. No one wants something used, especially not as a lover. I exhaled and leaned my back against the wall, letting my arms fall to my sides.

It's not worth living through this shit. Cassius would never know what it's like to live like this. To be called a whore and a slut and every other slur you could think of. He would never understand how badly it hurts when one of my kind is raped and no one blinks an eye. Only because they're an incubus or a succubus, like they were made only for the pleasure of others. He would never know what it feels like to be pushed down so many times and one day, not get back up. I had known so many Incubi and succubi as a child and now I know none, because they killed themselves.

The life of an incubus is worse than a dog.

And Cassius would never, ever, understand that.

Silence greeted my thoughts, bitter silence.

"Ahem," someone coughed, I blinked and looked through my blurry eyes. Zisael.

Oh, fuck my life.

He wore a billowing white button up and skinny jeans and far more casual than I'd ever seen the prince. His hands were shoved into his pockets as he leaned against the wall opposite to me. "What did he do this time?"

I laughed sharply and looked up at him, rubbing my tired eyes. "He fucked me over, again." The prince stepped closer and leaned a shoulder on the wall beside me.

"Poor thing," he murmured, sounding detached. I remained quiet and allowed him to play with a strand of my dark hair. I watched him silently. The prince moved swiftly and cornered me, a hand on each side of my head. "Do you want to forget?"

His hand skimmed across my lower lip, my fingers wrapped around his arms and ran down his wrist. His skin was so smooth, I did like the way he had touched me. But it was nothing like Cassius. It wasn't so sincere, or passionate, and I'd never orgasmed quite as many times as I did with Cassius. I looked up at Zisael and opened my mouth to speak,

"No. He does not," I didn't even turn to look, it was Cassius. I bit down on my lip and looked at my feet, it was like I was a shell, devoid of emotion. Zisael began to pull away, but I caught his wrist and stepped closer to him, glaring at the older prince.

"I think he does," I hissed and moved farther away from Cassius, fuck, it hurt. I winced but refused to give in to him.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he responded coolly, I frowned and pressed closer to Zisael. Dark spots began to dot my vision, and a cold sweat formed down my back, but I ignored it.

"I know enough to realize that you will always hurt me," Cassius looked wounded but I didn't care, I knew it had cut deep. "I will never let you touch me ever, ever again." I cringed painfully and fell to one knee before the blackness clouded my vision entirely.

Fuck my shitty life.

-

I groaned and let out a sigh of exasperation, my body was achy and tired. My eyes fluttered open and then closed again, everything was completely silent.

"You're awake I see."

Cassius.

"Why don't you go fuck Ekko," I grumbled and buried my face in the pillows.

"And why would I do that?" The prince murmured and placed a hand on my hip, sliding it up my side, I didn't try to stop him.

"Because you're an asshole and I'm not some fucking concubine," I frowned and squirmed away from him, he only slid his hand up my shirt.

"I think you would be fantastic at it," Cassius whispered, sounding distracted. I shot up and lunged for him but a tightened around my neck prevented me from doing so. I gasped and felt around my collar bone.

"What the fuck is this? I'm not a fucking dog!" I yelped and clawed at the collar chaining me to the headboard.

"I couldn't have you trying to run away again," the Prince mused, I tried to wriggle free of my restraints to no avail. Cassius watched me with interest until I was red in the face and panting. I rubbed at my eyes with the backs of my hands and rested against the mattress, he sat on the edge of the bed. My eyes found his and we stared at each other for a long moment until I blinked and looked away, exposing myself to him.

Cassius leaned down and brushed his lips against mine, it stole the breath out of me but I gulped and remained focused. With vigor I curled my fingers into his hair and pressed our lips together. Just as he licked my lips and tried to slip his tongue inside my mouth I pulled away and head butted him. Cassius cursed and jerked back, rubbing his forehead.

That fucking hurt, but I didn't care it felt good. I crossed my arms and turned away from him.

I wanna nap.

"Okay, I might have deserved that, but I think there's been a little misunderstanding," the prince muttered and crept closer to me.

"Fuck off, I don't want to talk to you."

"I don't want to use my rank, but I will if I have to." Cassius threatened, I gasped and turned to him, then frowned.

"Fine then," I muttered and cupped his cheeks in my hands, pressing my lips to his. Cassius seemed off guard for a moment before giving in and pushing his tongue inside my mouth. I slid onto his lap and kissed him passionately, biting his lips. A moan rose up in my throat as I tried to push myself closer to him but the collar caught and I choked. Cassius pulled away hurriedly and blinked.

"Fuck, stop Alabaster, we have things to talk about," the prince groaned, I rocked my hips on his and nipped at his ear.

"This is what you want isn't it?" I whispered and moaned in his ear. Cassius snapped and pinned my arms to the bed, I was painfully hard in my trousers now.

"I said stop," the tone of his voice made me quiver with lust as I writhed beneath him.

"F-fine, I will, b-but it hurts," I whimpered and gave in, women would never know the true pain of having an erection. Cassius bent down and kissed my cheek, slowly unzipping my pants. My dick bounced inside my boxers, but it relieved some of the pressure. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"You're such a baby," he replied as I curled my legs around his waist, it was so impossibly hard to be angry with him.

"Fuck me later and I'll listen to what you have to say," I muttered and traced a pattern on his tanned arm.

"Then I can't wait," Cassius flirted, it was so simple yet it dusted my cheeks with a light blush.

"Go ahead then," I murmured and stared up into his swirling grey eyes, he seemed hesitant at first and then opened his mouth,

"Ekko... isn't my mate,"

Silence.

"You are."

May 2018