"I hope, my dear, that you have ordered a good dinner today, because I have reason to expect an addition to our family party."

The Bennet had been together in the dining room when Mr Bennet opened the conversation with that peculiar statement. Eleazar hadn't even had breakfast yet at home before the drama began once more.

"What do you mean, my dear? I know of nobody that is coming, I am sure, unless Charlotte Lucas should happen to call in—and I hope my dinners are good enough for her. I do not believe she often sees such at home."

It was an uncalled, but true, statement that made Eleazar bite his lip raw to keep himself from speaking up in defence of the Lucases.

"The person of whom I speak is a gentleman, and a stranger."

Oh no.

"A gentleman and a stranger! It is Mr Bingley, I am sure! Well, I am sure I shall be extremely glad to see Mr Bingley. But—good Lord! How Unlucky! There is not a bit of fish to be got today. Lydia, my love, ring the bell—I must speak to Hill this moment."

Oh no, it was not Mr Bingley, it most certainly was not.

"It is not Mr Bingley, it is a person whom I never saw in the whole course of my life."

Mr Bennet might not have met the man in question, but Eleazar could not say the same.

"About a month ago I received this letter; and about a fortnight ago I answered it, for I thought it a case of some delicacy, and requiring early attention. It is from my cousin, Mr Collins, who, when I am dead, may turn you all out of this house as soon as he pleases."

Eleazar had even seen the letter, had seen the return address written on it, but still he hadn't realised who it had come from.

"Oh! My dear! I cannot bear to hear that mentioned. Pray do not talk of that odious man. I do not think it is the hardest thing in the world, that your estate should be entailed away from your own children; and I am sure, if I had been you, I would have tried long ago to do something or other about it."

His mother's words barely registered, nor did the jab at his own shortcomings, all his focus was on the fact that he would have to meet Mr Willaim Collins again.

"It certainly is a most iniquitous affair and nothing can clear Mr Collins from the guilt of inheriting Longbourn. But if you will listen to his letter you may perhaps be a little softened by his manner of expressing himself."

It would end in one big embarrassment. He had never told anyone what had happened, and he wasn't planning to do so now.

"No, that I am sure I shall not; and I think it is very impertinent of him to write to you at all, and very hypocritical. I hate such false friends. Why could he not keep on quarrelling with you, as his father did before him?"

That would have certainly been Elezar's preference, but alas it would have never been meant to be.

"Why, indeed; he does seem to have had some filial scruples on that head, as you will hear."

Hunsford, near Westerham, Kent, 15th October.

Dear Sir,

The disagreement subsisting between yourself and my late honoured father always gave me much uneasiness, and since I have had the misfortune to lose him, I have frequently wished to heal the breach; but for some time I was kept back by my own donuts, fearing lest it might seem disrespectful to his memory for me to be on good terms with anyone with whom it had always pleased him to be at variance,

My mind, however, is now made up on the subject, for having received ordination at Easter, I have been so fortunate as to be distinguished by the patronage of the Right Honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, widow of Sir Lewis de Bourgh, whose bounty and beneficence has preferred me to the valuable rectory of this parish, where it shall be my earnest endeavour to demean myself with grateful respect towards her ladyship, and be ever ready to perform those rites and ceremonies which are instituted by the Church of England.

As a clergyman, moreover, I feel it my duty to promote and establish the blessing of peace in all families within the reach of my influence; and on these ground I flatter myself that my present overtures are highly commendable, and that the circumstances of my being next in the entail of Longbourn estate will be kindly overlooked on your side, and not lead you to reject the offered olive-branch.

I cannot be otherwise than concerned at being the means of injuring your amiable daughters, and beg leave to apologise for it, as well as to assure you of my readiness to make them every possible amends—but of this hereafter.

If you should have no objection to receive me into your house, I propose myself the satisfaction of waiting on you and your family, Monday, November 18th, by four o'clock, and shall probably trespass on your hospitality till the Saturday se'ennight following, which I can do without any inconvenience, as Lady Catherine is far from objecting to my occasionL absence on a Sunday, provided that some other clergyman is engaged to do the duty of the day.

—I remain, dear sir, with respectful compliments to your lady and daughters, your well-wisher and friend,

William Collins,

"At four o'clock, therefore, we may expect this peacemaking gentleman. He seems to be a most conscientious and polite young man, upon my word, and I doubt not will prove a valuable acquaintance, especially if Lady Catherine should be so indulgent as to let him come to us again."

It was even worse than Eleazar had feared, and William was a far too kind, and stupid, man to even notice or understand.

"There is some sense in what he says about the girls, however, and if he is disposed to make them any amends, I shall not be the person to discourage him."

In only a few hours he would be standing on their doorstep, with the faint idea to marry one of Eleazar's sisters in good Christian values. He would do so stubbornly and without a care for any rejection he might meet.

"Though it is difficult to guess in what way he can mean to make us the atonement he thinks our due, the wish is certainly to his credit."

It was certainly to his credit, though Eleazar couldn't disregard the fact that Mr Collins might not be able to marry someone else very easily otherwise.

"In point of composition, the letter does not seem defective. The idea of the olive-branch perhaps is not wholly new, yet I think it is well expressed."

Mary of course was more than happy to think about the many things unsaid, and maybe even about the man as a husband-to-be.

To Catherine and Lydia, neither the cousin nor the letter he had sent were of any importance. The last few weeks they had been surrounded by red coats, and unless Mr Collins would wear one, which was extremely unlikely, he could not interest them at all.

Mrs Bennet on the other hand was greatly impressed by the letter, and the cousin who could do no good in her eyes, had greatly risen in her eyes.

A knock on the door sounded at exactly four o'clock, making Mr Collins as punctual as Eleazar had remembered him to be. This had also given him the opportunity to be conveniently upstairs and extremely busy when the man arrived and was introduced.

He even managed to make himself scarce during dinner, not arriving at the table but standing in the kitchen and listening to the conversation, he even had a rather good look at Mr Collins. He was exactly as Eleazar remembered him, tall, heavy with very formal manners.

"I am sure, my lady, that your daughters will very soon be married and to good station too."

The gallantry was to Mrs Bennet's heart who readily accepted the compliment without another thought.

"You are very kind, I am sure; and I wish with all my heart it may prove so, for otherwise they will be destitute enough. Things are settled so oddly."

Eleazar winced in sympathy with Jane who had to keep a straight face. He understood his mother's worries, but Mr Collins was not the person to speak to about them.

"You allude, perhaps, to the entail of this estate."

Mr Collins was many things, and not very bright one of them, but completely stupid he was not.

"Ah! Sir, I do indeed. It is a grievous affair to my poor girls, you must confess. Not that I mean to find fault with you, for such things I know are all chances in this world. There is no knowing how estates will go once they come to be entailed."

Mrs Bennet was more than happy to continue her conversation with Mr Collins, even though the rest of the table would rather they stopped; though for varying reasons. Lydia and Kitty couldn't care less and though Mary tried to listen, she too had gotten bored fast.

"I am very sensible, madam, of the hardship to my fair cousins, and could say much on the subject, but that I am cautious of appearing forward and precipitate. But I can assure the young ladies that I come prepared to admire them. At present I will not say more; but, perhaps, when we are better acquainted—"

He was interrupted by Eleazar joining them in the dining room and taking his place, while looking Mr Colllins straight in the eye. This would be it.