"Since when do you smoke?" Bonnie demanded as she shot a harsh glare in Emrys' direction. The curly-haired boy was sitting with his back against the building and a hand in his hair. A baggy maroon t-shirt engulfed his body and his light blue jeans had a patch sewn into them that said "Starfleet Command; United Federation of Planets". He had a cigarette between his two fingers and his hand was in his hair, anxiously tugging at it.

"I don't" Emrys groaned. "I'm just freaking out"

"I'm sure everything is going fine" Bonnie reasoned as she took a seat beside Emrys. She rested her head on his shoulder and hugged her knees to her chest. She wasn't sure why Emrys was so stressed about the city council meeting... Bay was more charismatic than she gave him credit for. He had a way with words and that combined with his family's influence was sure to convince the council to agree. It was the easiest win they needed.

"What? No... Not about that" Emrys groaned. "Just... Things" he couldn't bring himself to even say it out loud... He couldn't even if he really wanted to. He was sure Bonnie had her suspicions about him liking Arran, but nobody would ever guess that they were actually together at some point... Well, kinda together anyway. If he said anything, he'd risk outing him. And he could never forgive himself if he outed another person.

He was supposed to get a call from his parents today... Usually, it was all fine. Usually, he had Arran with him when he spoke to them. Even if Arran couldn't understand half of what was being said, it was good to have a hand to hold when he started stressing out or a shoulder to cry on when reality slapped him in the face.

There were always... Issues... Regarding his parents. He could tell himself that they loved him and that they just needed to be away from responsibility. He could tell himself that he actually meant something to them or that he was still their son. But that was all bullshit in the long run. They barely remembered his name, let alone his age or birthday. They dropped in once every few years when they needed money or to drop off another kid they didn't want. Emrys couldn't even remember the last time he got a hug from his mother that was genuine...

"What kind of things?" Bonnie asked.

"Parents..." Emrys admitted. "I don't know, it's just a lot" He groaned as he threw his head back against the brick wall. He didn't even like smoking... It was disgusting and made him feel sick. But feeling physically sick over-powered any mental hurt he was feeling and that was what he was hoping for. "I swear I'm a fucking magnet for toxic people..."

"It's because you're an empath" Bonnie sighed. "You understand others' pain and you sympathize with it. You make excuses because you hurt for them and you know why they act the way they do... You trick yourself into thinking it's okay that they treat you like shit"

"Bonnie, I love you, but now is not the time to stress me out by dissecting my brain" Emrys muttered. Bonnie snorted at that before pulling out her phone and smiling down at it.

"Arcadia should be here soon"

"The meeting should be over soon" Emrys added as he glanced over at the time. The doors opened shortly after he said that and two teens walked out, the first with frizzy red hair and the second with a bright smile.

"The council voted. Five to three in favor of Pride" Scooter happily announced. "All because of this weirdo" They added with a teasing smirk up at Bay. Bay only laughed and ruffled their hair before pressing a quick kiss to the top of their head.

"It was your idea to have a Pride in the first place... I say we all go to the river and get wasted in celebration" Bay chuckled. Emrys smiled to himself at that. He hadn't been to the river in a while... There was a small spot popular for swimming and bonfires in the Summer where a lot of teens usually drank or partied.

"Only if you're providing" Bonnie snorted as she got up. She extended a hand to Emrys and quickly helped pull him to his feet. "I'll text Arcadia and tell her to just meet us there"

"Scooter and I can just stop by the mansion... I think there's still a few beers in the fridge" Bay admitted. "We'll meet y'all there?"

"Yeah... Sure... Let me just stop by my house first" Emrys sighed.

_________________________________________

Arran rolled his eyes as his brother shouted at the tv in the other room as if that would possibly make his team win. Last he checked, Christian was watching hockey again. A typical night at the Harley house... Some aggressive asshole shouting at the tv with a beer in their hand. Usually, it was Christian and Winston if Winston was home... Arran would sit on the couch and pretend to be interested when in reality he wasn't big on sports but rather the guys playing them. Anything to fit in...

He vividly remembered being eight or nine, back when his family was still somewhat of a family. His mother in the kitchen with a cigarette between her lips. His dad and Christian excitedly shouting for the Oregon Ducks to win. At some point, his dad would grab onto his shoulder with a bright smile and point out all of the things that happened in a good play. That was one of the few times he remembered being happy... Because it was one of the few times Winston was glad to have Arran as a son.

His family wasn't perfect - it never was. But there were days like that that Arran so desperately held on to. Summer days where Arran was learning to shoot at tin cans. His dad would come up behind him and place his hat that was a little too big on his head, owning him as his son. Arran would smile and be sure to spend extra time aiming so he would hit the target and make Winston smile.

Spring afternoons when the sun was out and Winston was working on one of the cars. Christian and Arran would happily watch from either side of him as he explained all of the terms and showed them how to find what was wrong with it. Showed them how to fix it themselves and even let them get their hands on it and try. He remembered the first time he had jump-started a car and his dad had happily patted his back and cheered him on.

There were days when the sun was out and Winston would take Christian and Arran out to play baseball. Christian was always a lot better at it than Arran, but Arran always tried his best. It was so twisted... Mixed in with all of those happy memories was so much abuse. Hours spent watching hockey games ended with Christian becoming their mom's ashtray. Learning how to shoot ended with Arran getting slapped across the face for accidentally spilling his dad's beer.

Even when Winston was gone, out of town, he wasn't even that safe. His mom had once been pretty... She had frizzy blonde hair and a raspy voice. She had Arran's green eyes and a way of talking that would make you think she cared before stabbing you in the back. He vividly remembered her telling him stories about people that came into your room at night to hurt you... Hurt you in ways that were more than physical and in her case would lead to two bastards she never wanted.

He remembered when his dad did come back from benders, being locked in a closet by Christian and told that if he came out, bad things would happen. Those memories didn't seem so real... As if they weren't even his. As if he was watching something play out on tv. But as a scared little kid, he went running to Christian. Christian who understood too much, even at a young age. Christian who instead of telling Arran the truth would make up lies and stories about monsters that their parents had to fight off. That was why when Arran finally came out the house was trashed and his mother was hurt. And as a terrified little kid, he'd rather believe in monsters than living the truth.

Sometimes Arran wondered how much of it was real or if the good times were as happy as he thought they were. The worst part of it all was that he loved Winston. He still wanted his approval. He still wanted to be his son, to be a Harley. It didn't matter that he knew his dad was a terrible person, he couldn't help the fact that he yearned to be something worth Winston's time. He was still undeniably loyal to his father, despite figuring out more and more truths as he got older. His father was an abuser, he was an alcoholic, a killer, a hoarder, and a rapist. He shouldn't want his approval... He should be disgusted by him. And he was... But he was raised to need Winston's validation. It was engraved into him and it wouldn't be fixed... That was the twisted truth of child abuse.

"Arran! Go get the door!" Christian shouted from the other room. Arran groaned in annoyance.

"Get it yourself, you're like ten feet from it" Arran shouted back.

"Just get your fatass up" Christian scoffed. Arran rolled his eyes and reluctantly stood up. He set down the hammer he had been using to fix the table his dad had broken a while back before heading to the door. He shot a glare at his brother who was sprawled out on the couch, his messy blonde hair falling over his green eyes and a bag of potato chips in his lap. The back of his hair was getting longer and Arran wanted to cut it off. It was bad enough to call Christian his brother as it was... But he wouldn't ever say it in public again if the fucker actually got a mullet.

He pulled open the front door and instantly froze as his eyes landed on a familiar tan boy. His neat curls were held out of his face with a black headband and he was wearing a simple maroon t-shirt. His brown eyes flicked down to the floor before meeting Arran's once again and swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Look... Um..." Emrys carefully began.

"Hey! It's your boyfriend!" Christian chuckled as he slung an arm over Arran's shoulders. Arran wrinkled his nose at the smell of beer reeking from Christian's breath and roughly shoved him away.

"You're drunk" Arran scoffed. "Go away"

"Ugh, fine. Bye, Emmy" Christian called over his shoulder before heading off to go yell at his game some more. Christian was such an unpredictable drunk... One moment he was making jokes and giggling like a little girl, the next he was trying to kill someone. One minute he was overly flirtatious with some girl, the next he was yelling in Arran's bedroom over a dog they had lost like ten years ago... A dog Christian didn't even like.

"What is it?" Arran sighed. He knew Emrys wouldn't come if it wasn't important... Emrys was still pissed off at him and neither of them had even tried talking to the other, even when they sat together in most of their classes.

"I know we aren't exactly on speaking terms..." Emrys began. "But I wanted to tell you that Bay and Scooter are organizing a pride parade... They got it approved by the city council today and I'm helping set everything up... It would just... You know... Be really cool if you came" Emrys sighed as he brought his gaze back to the floor.

Arran stared for a few moments... He couldn't resist staring for just a second, maybe two. A couple of seconds to grieve for whatever they lost. A couple of seconds to realize just how much he had let go. A couple of seconds to say goodbye without really saying it. A couple of seconds to miss him, to silently say that he loved him... He never did get to tell Emrys that, did he?

"Arran...?" His voice cut into Arran's thoughts and Arran quickly met his eyes again. He wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to hold him. But he wasn't allowed to do that anymore.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Arran quietly asked.

"Sheriff Rick is taking care of the safety aspects..." Emrys mumbled. "You don't have to be in the parade or come out or anything... It would just be nice to have you there... For me"

"You're out?" Arran asked in slight disbelief. Emrys nodded with a small, yet bright smile... The brightest smile Arran had seen in a while.

"Yeah... Kinda... Everyone I've told has been really cool about it" Emrys admitted with a small laugh that Arran had missed desperately. "It's on June twenty-fifth... Downtown by the way... It ends at that old record shop we used to go to" Arran smiled at the memory and hesitantly nodded.

"Yeah... I'll think about it" He wasn't even lying. He was genuinely considering going... If it meant he even had a shot at redeeming himself for Emrys, he would happily go.

"Alright... I'm gonna go celebrate with a few friends... So... Um... I'll see you a school I guess" Emrys forced a small smile before turning to leave. "Bye, Arran"

"By Em" Arran mumbled back. He took a deep breath as he shut the door before heading into the living room where Christian was still eating his chips.

"What'd he want?" He asked as he looked up from where he was sitting. Arran hesitated for a moment before deciding to just tell him.

"Asper Hollows is having a Pride and he asked me to go with him" Arran blatantly stated. Christian's mood changed real quick after that. His face fell and he set down the chips before standing up so that he was face to face with his younger brother.

"You aren't going" Christian deadpanned.

"Yes, I am" Arran scoffed. "And you can't stop me"

"I didn't spend years keeping dad from killing your ass just so you could go out yourself to a town that hates fags" Christian snapped. "I thought we got over this... I thought you were getting better"

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Arran blurted out. And for the first time, he believed it. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. I'm okay with liking Emrys and I don't need you. Alright? You aren't my fucking parent so back off"

"Bullshit, you don't need me" Christian snapped. His voice shook for the first time ever. Christian didn't get emotional when he fought... Christian didn't cry. Arran had never seen him shed a tear, even when he was a kid. "Do you not see how much I gave up for you? I was accepted into Harvard, Arran. And I turned it down because I knew that you wouldn't make it here without me. Do you think I wanted this? You think I just choose to stay in Asper Hollows because I like it here? No. I stay because I'm the only reason that dad hasn't killed you yet. I'm the reason we still have food on the table. I'm the reason you didn't have to see so much bullshit growing up"

"You're a fucking idiot" Arran scoffed. "You should have left... Or better yet, leave now" He shouted back. He didn't want to hear whatever bullshit excuse and lies Christian had prepared... He didn't care. Christian was a bigot just like every other Harley out there.

"I can't anymore" Christian shot back. Arran was about to ask why, but Christian apparently had more to say. "Do you actually think I care that you're gay? Do you think I didn't know when we were kids? Everything I've ever done has been to protect you. Everything I've ever done has been for you so that you didn't have a giant ass target on your back. I don't care if you fuck dudes, I don't care if you go to a pride parade in a rainbow speedo. Just not here. Because you're my little brother and I love you and I wouldn't be able to handle it if someone put a bullet in your head over this" Christian took a few deep breaths to try and relax himself.

His eyes watered as he collapsed back into the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. Christian stared up at the ceiling to keep from crying while Arran stared in utter shock. Christian said and did a lot of terrible things... He was a big reason Arran was so sensitive about his masculinity and sexuality. Everything Christian had said and done had fucked up Arran in one way shape or form, but in Christian's eyes, he was helping Arran avoid getting hurt further by the town. In his eyes, he was protecting him from a lot more hurt down the road by trying to force him to suppress his sexuality and feelings for Emrys. It was fucked up... But Christian just didn't know how else to protect Arran. He just wasn't raised to know how to any other way.

Arran had always thought that Christian was the picture-perfect Harley. That he believed what he said, that he was naturally everything Winston wanted. But that was a huge lie because he was putting on an act just as much as Arran.

"Why can't you leave?" Arran quietly asked instead of acknowledging anything Christian had told him. Christian was quiet for a few moments before closing his eyes and letting out a long sigh.

"Nola is pregnant and we still don't know what we're going to do" Christian carefully admitted. "It's her choice what she does with it... But if she wants to keep it I can't just leave... Kinda makes me think getting my GPA so high was a total waste if I'm just gonna be another mechanic in Asper Hollows"

"You'll figure things out" Arran sighed before the two brothers fell into complete silence.

Question of the chapter: How many siblings do you have? I have two half-siblings!