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parkthatjiminshi @v_95 i can't believe you made this the best holiday ever😭😭 joonie and his min have been reunited 💛💛💛

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v_95✔️ your reaction was beautiful🥺🤍 you two are so cute
parkthatjiminshi @v_95 you're the best wtf😔😔😔

jjungkookie✔️ joonie hyung🥺 also maybe minjoons a little bit cute
   parkthatjiminshi @jjungkookie we are very cute

wwh_youknow✔️ namjoon is so cool, I found the cool one in the relationship
   parkthatjiminshi @wwh_youknow 😒😒bye

sunshinehobi✔️ YOU TWOOO🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💛💛💛
   parkthatjiminshi @sunshinehobi 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰

agust_dboy✔️ namjoon is so tall
   parkthatjiminshi @agust_dboy you're just too short
agust_dboy✔️ @parkthatjiminshi we're literally the same height midget

bookmonnie i owe tae a big one but I LOVE YOU BABY
   parkthatjiminshi @bookmonnie can't believe I can crawl into your arms again

chimmieboi AWWWWW MINJOON CHRISTMAS :(((((

minjoonie- im 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺 so happy

jikookbesties HEKCCJSH CUTIES🥺🥺

—

"We are not letting him touch a thing around the stove." Jimin announced while tugging the apron on.

"What did I do?" The book lover pouted and Taehyung chuckled, having heard plenty of Namjoon's disastrous incidents from his boyfriend.

So the model walked around the kitchen island and patted the older's shoulder. "Heard you're a bit clumsy and a walking hazard, Hyung."

"I am n—" Jimin shot him a look and Namjoon sighed. "—yeah, I am. Okay, fine, but I get to taste test."

"Of course." Jimin laughed skipping around and hugging the man. Namjoon was quick to get an arm around him, both of them having missed physical contact with the other. "Is Jungkook still sleeping?"

Taehyung's head jerked up from the sink where he'd moved to in order to wash his hands. "Asking me? Mhm, he was up late doing this gaming thing in the study room."

"Ugh, it's noon already!" Jimin scowled. "He's a good cook, he could have helped us."

"I can still—"

"That's okay, Hyung." Taehyung chuckled nervously and Jimin snickered at the drop in Namjoon's lips. "If Jin Hyung was here, none of us would be allowed in the kitchen. He's got a superiority complex in an apron."

"Where did he go?" The dancer mumbled while rummaging through the cabinet for a pan. "Is he working today?"

"Fittings for that YSL shoot he has rescheduled tomorrow. Double checking everything." Taehyung answered. "I'm heading to work soon, too. Yoongi Hyung's helping me practice for the showcase today."

"You're okay with us just hanging here?" Namjoon asked carefully, glancing around like he was an intruder in the space. "Without any of the four of you here?"

"I couldn't give two shits. It's just you three." The model grabbed different containers of ingredients from the fridge, opening the pantry door for some spices he knew they would need. "I won't be gone long. Hyung's loaded as a main producer for the showcase music."

"I'll never stop screaming at him to take a break." The pan clattered on the stove as Jimin set it down. "That man's a living robot." He glanced at Taehyung. "So are you."

"Hm." Taehyung rolled his eyes and kicked the pantry door shut. They'd already gotten out chopping boards and a knife, with which Taehyung got to work in chopping the vegetables he'd picked out.

"Not a break person?" Namjoon asked and he grimaced at the question. "Why not?"

"Don't know. I guess taking a break just never seemed appealing. Sitting around doing nothing— not sure what I would do with myself."

"You don't have to do nothing. It's a mental break, Taehyung." Jimin tutted, looking over his shoulder at the thin strips of vegetables being cut. "Take time for yourself."

"Jimin—"

"He's right." Namjoon shrugged. "I get you like absorbing yourself in work, but you have a limit, Tae. You think you don't because you haven't reached it, but you don't want to just burn out."

He contemplated those words. In actuality, he did know he had limits. He simply hadn't cared to acknowledge them. "How am I supposed to just drop my life?"

"Hey," Jimin poked his side and Taehyung scowled as the knife almost went in the wrong direction. "Sorry. But it's not dropping your life. You're more than just modeling. You're a person. And people need to give their bodies and minds breaks."

"I'd have to explain that to a lot of people. Just dropping out for some time."

"If they care, they'll understand. It's for your health." Namjoon reasoned rather convincingly. "You can do fun things, relaxing things like... yoga?"

"Yoga is hard, actually. I lose my balance all the time." Taehyung chuckled and handed Jimin the cutting board of chopped vegetables. "I don't know, but I'll think about it."

"Be very serious. It'll be hard to just not have to work for a bit, but you've been going without a stop, Taehyung." Jimin dumped the raw vegetables in the pan and the oil caused them to sizzle immediately.

"Have you ever taken a break?" Namjoon questioned and Taehyung shrugged as a response. "Never?"

"The first few years was building my name, so I didn't get the chance. There was a year when I did get to relax more then usual, but then the Bogum stuff happened and I haven't let myself have a break since."

"That is not good." Jimin sighed, stirring the vegetables around before putting a lid on top and letting them cook. "You need some alone time."

"I don't like being alone." Taehyung mumbled. "Not like that."

"Maybe..." Namjoon hummed in thought. "You should talk to Jungkook about it."

"What do you mean? I never agreed that I'd take a break yet." Taehyung flinched, walking to the sink and washing the knife off. "No need to bring that up."

"You think he'll be upset about it?" Namjoon countered. "Taehyung, no. He'll be so happy if you take time for yourself. You know all he wants is for you to find some peace within."

"He is my peace. Well, it's easier to feel at ease with him."

"So you're worried about... what?" Jimin continued. "Leaving him if you take a break?"

"Maybe. If I took a break, the kind you guys are talking about, I wouldn't stay here. I'd go elsewhere. Travel. Be a normal person."

"He'd go with you if you ask, you know." Namjoon shrugged. "And it doesn't hurt to ask him if he would."

"That's awfully selfish for him to just drop his work here and disappear from the spotlight with me." Taehyung understood the moment he said the words aloud. "Oh, that's exactly what he'd like."

"It honestly is." Jimin nodded, waving the chopsticks in his direction. "And even if it's selfish, being in love means you can be a little selfish. It's best to tell him the truth about how you feel, anyway."

"And the truth is?" Namjoon prompted.

Taehyung gulped and let his gaze fall to the floor. "The truth I need to let myself breathe outside of these constraints. As good as it's going, it's not as enjoyable as it used to be."

He could come back renewed and more prepared for the work he'd given his life to be apart of. It was important for him to find the balance and because he had gone through the extreme of his workload, his other extreme of self care was awaiting.

—

"I didn't think we'd get to come to the actual auditorium." Taehyung murmured, eyes wide as he gazed around the vast house they stood in. Rows of red, velvety seats were at a slight upward slant of elevation as they wrapped around the stage. Just past the horizontal aisle did the seats skyrocket into the back of the house, tall and looming by the tech booth.

Matching red curtains were concealing the dark stage, leaving a curved edge to peek out downstage. Yoongi suddenly returned from behind the curtains, the staff member he'd asked for still left behind.

Then the curtains were drawn open, revealing the deep stage, the back of the stage littered with storage items in the current lack of use.

"So? How is it?" Yoongi skipped down the stage steps and stood beside him in one of the aisles. "BigHit did a good job with booking this venue. The place is built for musical performances and visual ones both, so it's perfect."

"It's really pretty, Hyung." Taehyung sighed, hands buried in his pockets. He followed Yoongi back up the steps and listened to him intently.

"You've heard me explain some things, but the seating is called the house. Closer to the audience you are, the further downstage it's referred to. Upstage is deeper in the stage. Backstage is the sides and dressing rooms separated from the auditorium." The producer pointed at the glass covered booth he'd noticed earlier. "Control booth. That's where all the music and lighting magic happen."

"That's... a lot." Taehyung groaned. "This is gonna be hard."

"You like challenges." Yoongi chuckled, patting his back. "When I do live performances, I usually use an in-ear."

"What's that?"

"Those earpieces you've seen me wear?" Taehyung nodded. "They help you focus on the backtrack. I can throw a metronome on your in-ear audio to help keep time, too. Honestly, it's just so that the audience cheers aren't super drowning. And because the speakers are directed out to the house and can be difficult to hear."

"What if you want to hear the audience? Aren't the cheers fun?" Taehyung walked around the stage, eyeing the nailed boards and how there was separations in the side draped to mimic aisles to enter from.

"You can just take the ear piece out. Kind of a sexy move." Yoongi grinned and the model rolled his eyes. "Your song's not exactly sexy, though, so it'll be far from that."

"Shut up."

Yoongi snickered and pointed up into the top of the stage, without a real ceiling and instead tracks of walkways and curtains, lights hanging and hidden behind the drapes. "Those lights are blinding. And very hot. You can get really sweaty under them."

"Great."

"Have you thought about what you're going to wear?"

"No," he let go of the curtain he was touching, bowing a head towards the staff mindlessly distracted on their phone by the curtain ropes. "Not yet."

"I suggest something lighter. Or less stuffy." Yoongi said. "Especially when it'll be your first time under stage lights."

"I've been in set lights. I know how rough those are already."

"There's usually twice as many when you're on stage." The older clarified and Taehyung grimaced. "You won't be able to see the audience. Good and bad thing, depending on how you see it."

"Definitely good." Taehyung breathed. "Won't have to worry about all those eyes."

"You have eyes on you all the time." Yoongi felt the need to point out and Taehyung scuffed a toe on the dark wooden floor.

"Singing and modeling are two very different things."

"Not wrong." The producer motioned him over. "If it makes you feel better, I'm doing like three different performances. One's with Seok. Hobi's doing like five himself. Jimin's in a crazy amount, too."

That was relieving. Taehyung just had to do it well once and he was done. Then again, that meant he only had one chance to show everyone his talent for performing. He didn't even know if he had that kind of talent for live singing. He was gambling with the trust for his professionalism on that one.

"This is center stage." Yoongi showed the small 'x' in red electrical tape, scuffed up and peeling at the edges. He stood on it and let his eyes trail directly up, breath catching at how central he was, the house seats extending from one shoulder of his to the other. The tech booth was in his direct line of sight. An unlit spotlight was directed just to his exact position.

"Wow." He thought aloud and Yoongi clapped behind him. "This is amazing."

"Exciting, yeah?"

He nodded with more confidence.

"You'll get to practice here during the dress rehearsal." Yoongi explained as they thanked the staff and headed for the exit to go back to the recording studio and work on some vocal technicalities with the live singing.

"Dress rehearsals must be crazy. They are for us, too." Taehyung realized. "Lots of last second emergencies or changes."

"Yeah. And you finally see the whole show put together after weeks of separate practice. With everyone being professionals, we're used to flexibility, but there's always issues." Yoongi's shoulders sunk. "Always works out, though. Ends up being a great performance overall."

Adora was waiting for them back at BigHit. They parked underground and took the building elevator up to the music floor. She had set up the studio already and Yoongi was quick to shed his winter coat and join her in manning the equipment.

"What does an in-ear audio sound like?" Taehyung asked after he set his own belongings aside. "Can I listen to one of yours, Hyung?"

"Sure." Yoongi rolled his seat over to the other table with a computer setup and logged into his cloud drive. The file wasn't difficult to find and Taehyung saw Adora turn to him.

"Play Seesaw's," she suggested. "That track was finished for the showcase."

"You both are performing Seesaw?" Taehyung asked.

"Not me," the woman shook her head. "I just have background vocals in that song so I won't be with Yoongi onstage." Adora laughed and Yoongi sent her a glare. "He's actually dancing with it."

"He's what? Since when are you a big fan of dancing?" Taehyung gaped. He'd thought Yoongi had just tried it out for their BH4 project, but here he was.

"Since I practiced with Seok and Jin Hyung." The producer grit out. "Now, sit and listen to the track."

Taehyung chuckled and shared a look with Adora before doing as he was told. A lot of the backtrack was lost, only the main melody line playing along with a steady metronome. Cues were given and Taehyung found himself humming along with the familiar tune.

"It helps you stay right on track." He noticed.

"That's the point." Yoongi nodded, stopping it and closing his windows. "Some performers don't use it because it's bothersome, but I've found it's helpful. You can try with and without, Tae."

"I'm not the biggest fan of them." Adora added. "It varies. Probably because I don't do as heavy concerts as Yoongi does, though. The cheers aren't as sporadic and it's easy to focus when it's slower songs."

Taehyung thought he'd like the in-ear anyway. It would help him drown out the sudden fear to hear direct judgement of the audience to his vocal abilities. He'd only ever sang live for the two producers in the room with him and Jungkook— otherwise it was recorded for the digital song.

Getting used to the earpiece would take some practice, Taehyung realized, especially when he'd jerked it out of his ear five seconds into hearing a draft version of Sweet Night's track. Adora said she was still finishing it up, but it was basically done.

"Goddamn." He rubbed his ear. "That was weird."

"You'll get the hang of it." Yoongi dismissed.

"Are you sure? I'm gonna screw this up, Hyung." Taehyung handed the earpieces to Adora, who disconnected them from the Bluetooth.

"You won't," she assured. "It's muscle memory, you just gotta trust yourself, Taehyung."

"I don't know." He looked at the recording equipment inside the soundproof room. "How is Sweet Night doing? I haven't checked anything regarding it in a while."

"When it came out, it did incredible. It's actually maintained a lot of popularity. Both from your fans and people who want to see a model sing." Yoongi's lip tugged upward. "Plenty say it's unfair for you to be talented in both."

"Thank goodness this is for the company families." He winced. "That's hard to live up to. What if I mess up?"

"You keep going." Adora nudged his hand away from the soundboard. "Can't do redos live, so you accept it and keep going."

"That would suck."

"Not unless you let it discourage you and let it show." Yoongi clicked his tongue and clicked away at his editing software. "Can't make it obvious. Play it off as intentional or just pretend it didn't happen. Most people won't even remember the mistake then."

"Are you sure?" He double checked. "Sounds a lot like normal life problems."

"I guess that's one way to put it." Adora laughed. "You don't get redos live or in life."

"Well, that's just terrifying." His honesty was unstoppable. "And easier said than done."

"Yes, yes, which is the point of practice. You have to practice full run throughs and work on the stamina. It's been a while since you've sung the song." Yoongi stood and handed him a makeshift microphone, already connected and when he spoke into it, his voice boomed through the room's speakers.

"Loud and clear." Adora encouraged. "Practice will prepare you just fine."

And that was the unrealistic part of live performances. Life didn't let you predict the future and prepare for it. Didn't let you or practice. Only let you rely on improvisation.

Taehyung practiced as much as he could, though, to gain as much control on his mixed opinions with the outcome of the performance.

And that's why the arts were dreams for most. Because it let them practice and prepare for some of the biggest day of artists' lives. Whether it was working in a studio, dress rehearsals or even when he was getting fitted for shoots days before the actual show.

But the performance of Sweet Night that was coming was a level of vulnerability he had yet to show a public audience. A song that brought him to tears when he didn't cry with staff around. A song that he sung in private soon to be on show for a thousand guests.

Stepping out of his comfort zone without end. Growing without end. Because once he could be vulnerable, he could be human and step off the imaginary pedestal he was forced upon.