"Where is he?"

Hoseok scrambled to his feet, Yoongi spinning in his chair at the sudden presence bursting into the studio.

"Taehyung?" The dancer grinned, rushing forward. "When did you get back? How was the flight—"

"Where the hell is Jungkook?"

Hoseok and Yoongi froze at the desperation in his voice. Taehyung looked desperate. His skin was pale, hands shaking— his silky hair was thrown around in a tangled mess.

"Taehyung, you need to rest." Yoongi spoke first.

"Fuck rest—" Hoseok and Yoongi shared a look before the dancer slowly stepped towards the model again. "Jungkook— he was crying on our call and I believed his excuse— I saw it on the plane. The whole damn mess with him on the front pages. Was this your idea? Your guys' idea to not tell me?"

"Hey, I'm going to get you some water, and you're going to sit down and drink it." Hoseok held onto the toned arm of the younger's, flinching when he ripped it away.

"I asked where Jungkook is," Taehyung seethed. "He's not picking up his phone."

"Kim Taehyung, stop taking your anger out on us." Yoongi stepped close to him, nudging Hoseok to go get water like he said he would. The model's rage flickered at the hard stare and he gripped the strands of hair on his head, spinning around in frustration.

"H-He's— I didn't even know. No wonder he was so upset— he's scared, Hyung, please, I need to find— I need to go to him."

"He's at his and Jimin's place. Hasn't left since we found out." The elder lead him towards the small sofa in the studio and forced him to sit. "And he asked us to make sure you didn't find out."

"He's so stupidly selfless. I need to go to his place, do you have the address?"

"I can call Jimin, but Taehyung, you're not going anywhere until you've calmed down."

"I'm calm." The model reasoned, taking deep breaths to accentuate his point. "I'm calm, Hyung."

No, you're just temporarily shoving it aside. The elder thought to himself.

"Was it paparazzi? Saesangs?" Taehyung continued and Yoongi pursed his lips, sitting on the edge of the coffee table to try and decide whether it was best to say the truth. "Yoongi Hyung, who knew that was Jungkook? How?"

"Tae..." the door opened to Hoseok returning with a bottle of ice cold water. The dancer was shoving the opened drink into his hands and Taehyung slowly drank it, relaxing with the cold dousing his heated body.

Hoseok was just reaching to take the bottle back when Yoongi told him.

He nearly dropped the water and sent the sip down the wrong pipe.

"W-What?"

"Yeah, he's somehow known about Jungkook for a while, we can't be sure how much the guy even has—"

"No. You're lying. Park Bogum? Bogum— he did this to Jungkook?"

"Why do you sound surprised?" Hoseok huffed under his breath, tiredly closing the bottle and sitting next to the model on the sofa.

"But— the watch, they would have seen if Bogum got close to Jungkook." Taehyung's fingers clutched his pants, breath ragged. "No... he's smart, he's too smart— shit."

"His timing was disastrous." The producer nodded. "When you were away and you'd only be able to deal with the aftermath. Reactive instead of proactive."

"Hey, they've already tightened their watch on him and Jungkook's safe." Hoseok assured.

"Safe?" The strangled cry left the model's lips. "He's hiding. That's just unfair. He doesn't deserve this. This unwanted attention destroying his freedom."

"Taehyung," Yoongi leaned forward and rested a hand on his knee. "Do you want me to be honest?"

He recoiled in confusion. Honest? Was what he had said not so? The confused jerk of a shrug lifted his shoulders, making the conflicted emotion slip into Yoongi's features.

"We knew this was going to happen. And Bogum? His main goal is to hurt you." Yoongi muttered spitefully. "He's just using Jungkook to get to you. He's trying to scare Jungkook off—"

No.

Taehyung whipped out his phone, scrambling to find Jimin's contact before slamming on the call button. "I'm leaving, I need to go to Jungkook. I'm sorry I blew up, I just..."

"Go." Hoseok shook his head. "They live in BigHit's employee housing. Take your car, you'll get bombarded trying to walk."

"Thank you, I will." he quickly stood and hugged both his hyungs. "It's good to see you guys, Paris was great, I didn't even say hi, goddammit—"

"Taehyung, go." Yoongi pushed him to the door of the studio. "He needs you."

And he was rushing out the door, ignoring the messages his manager sent, Jin asking about his flight and where he was.

Jimin picked up on the last ring, speaking in a hushed voice and openly instructing him how to get to their flat.

"You saw what he did, right?" Yoongi said to the dancer sitting beside him, both of them staring at the ajar door of the studio in stun.

"It's what he didn't do." Hoseok whispered excitedly, looking at the producer with a grin on his face. "Not an ounce of hesitation to go help Jungkook."

"He's finally detaching from that fucking asshole and seeing how much better he is than that guy." The elder nodded, grumbling under Hoseok's enthusiastic hug. "Get off me, idiot."

"Shut up and hug your best friend, this is a big deal." The dancer scoffed. Yoongi cursed before giving in and wrapping arms around Hoseok.

He had detached from the bad and found a better good.

—

"Are you really pacing outside the door?" Jimin sighed into the phone.

"Sorry, I just need to think." The younger paused in front of the door, hugging himself in the bitter cold.

"Think about what?"

"Is he still sleeping?"

"Mhm, I'll wake him up."

"Let me." Taehyung whispered, mustering all his bravery to raise a hand on the front door and knock.

It whipped open before he could even touch the wood.

"Hi, get inside." Jimin pulled on his arm, the model stumbling into the small housing as the door shut behind him. "He's in the bedroom. You want anything? Tea? Did you eat? You just landed a few hours ago, right?"

"Hey, it's good to see you. If you have tea, I'll take that. I ate on the flight." The elder felt the exhaustion hit him with the reminder of his recent arrival. "Jet lag's a bitch, but I appreciate it, Jimin."

"I can imagine." The elder chuckled, taking his coat and bag. "Down that hall, door on the left. Nervous?"

"A bit." Taehyung stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. "Has he just been sleeping? Like ever since this morning?"

"Probably. I'm not completely sure." Jimin's shoulders drooped slightly. "I haven't bothered him much. I think he knows you're back today so I let him be."

"You need to get out of here and give yourself a break, I know you're worried sick for him." The younger put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll take care of him."

"I'm scared for him. This is his biggest fear come true and I'm practically hopeless in helping him." The response was brittle, a harsh reality that made Taehyung smile understandingly.

"He's helping me with my biggest nightmare. I'm here to help him with his, too."

The elder relaxed at the words and nodded, motioning him towards the bedroom as he headed for the kitchen to prepare some tea.

Taehyung hovered in the foyer, gazing around the small accommodation for a moment. It was cozy, the dining table just off the compact kitchen. The living room was shared with Jungkook's desk, where he saw gaming monitors just like the younger had mentioned, a keyboard and mouse sitting idle.

Jungkook's photography bag was tucked under the table, stacks of papers and what appeared to be his pending workload residing on the corner of the desk.

His fists clenched in his pockets as he walked down the short hall, reaching the door to the left and pushing it open.

The opaque curtains were drawn, darkening the room even in midday hours. He saw the lump of a body underneath the thick covers laid out for the winter season.

He shuffled into the space and discreetly closed the door, walking to the curtains to let just enough light in to shine ample visibility inside. Taehyung let out a deep breath as he saw the steady rise and fall of the younger's body.

Sleep was a luxury Taehyung didn't generally have. He usually took his sleep away and busied himself so that his thoughts wouldn't be consuming him when things got dangerously bad.

For Jungkook, sleep did him wonders. Kept him away from the current horrors of his real life and dream of normalcy somewhere inside his pretty head.

The model sat on the edge of the bed, feeling it dip down and shift the photographer just slightly. His fingers reached to pull the blanket down a few inches and reveal the distressed face underneath.

Taehyung watched him for a long while, the incredibly low light of the room making him almost miss the stray hair he brushed aside the younger's face.

The complete exhaustion was obvious even in Jungkook's unconscious features.

"You should have told me." He whispered softly, noticing the uneaten plate of food on the dresser. "You can't just hurt yourself trying to keep me happy, angel. You're not my shield."

A soft knock at the door sounded before Jimin let himself in with a handled glass of tea, Taehyung taking it and smiling gratefully.

"Thanks, Jimin."

"I'm going to go visit them all back in the building. Let me know if you need anything and I'll run back over." Jimin nodded from the doorway before shutting it again.

The glass warmed his hand and Taehyung let the steam hit his skin as he raised it to his lips. The drink was too hot, so he left it besides Jungkook's plate of food on the dresser.

Taehyung gave the younger his full attention again, leaning down and kissing his cheek, lips brushing like a feather on the sore skin.

Jungkook stirred at the touch, his hand slipping out of the covers to reach for the familiar warmth. A low groan left his lips as the fingers caught Taehyung's arm; the model slipped his hand into Jungkook's quickly.

His body turned over, contorting under the sheets to find the elder in the midst of his sleep. With Jungkook shuffling closer to Taehyung and curling into his body, the model ran his thumb over the cold knuckles of the younger's hand as Jungkook's drowning mind found sanctuary on his thigh, resting it there. Taehyung let out a shaky breath and bent down to hug the boy, feeling his heart drop into his stomach.

When he pulled away, Jungkook's eyes were open, teary and staring up at him like he was seeing Taehyung for the first time. Like when they'd met in the Gangnam Gardens. Awe and disbelief glistening in his deep gaze.

"Tae?" The mumble was raw and rough in his scorched throat. "Y-You're back— you're—"

The photographer clambered up and threw his arms around the model. Taehyung let out a choked laugh as his breath was knocked out of his chest and he fell back into the bed, Jungkook atop of him.

"Ow, Jungkook," Taehyung hugged him with all the strength in the world anyway. "Hi, angel, I missed you so much."

"Me too, me too, me too," the younger repeatedly said against his neck, body trembling. "Y-You should have called, you didn't have to come here."

"I did call. The moment I got into the car outside of the airport. You were sleeping so you didn't see my missed calls." Taehyung hummed as Jungkook lifted himself just enough to stare down at him.

The dimmed light peeking through the curtained windows caused the tips of Jungkook's hair to glow like a halo around his dark head, a white illumination of his pure aura, if you will. Taehyung cupped his face as the tears slipped down the shadowed cheeks, hanging onto his skin like rain on a windowpane until he swiped them away.

Jungkook looked like a broken angel.

"You saw, didn't you?" The younger asked, reading the guilty expression on his face.

"On the plane." Taehyung let out a shaky breath as he stared up at him, running fingers over his flushed skin.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

They both tensed at the simultaneous apology.

Taehyung was the first to cut in. "Why are you sorry? You aren't supposed to be dealing with this, Jungkook."

"I ruined your flight back."

"That's the last thing I care about," he whispered, chest aching for Jungkook to be more selfish with his priorities. "The moment I heard, I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"That's why. Y-You have work and jet lag to worry about. You must be exhausted and just want to think about nothing, but this, worrying— dealing with me— is not helpful."

"I don't give a damn about all of that. You're not a burden I have to deal with."

"But—"

"Jungkook, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I slept through your pain." Taehyung winced. "I already did that. You should have told me when I was in Paris. I understand a down day, but this? I asked you to go online and didn't even realize you were avoiding it for all the right reasons."

"You can't do anything half way across the world."

"And I'm apologizing for not being there as well as for asking you to do something that hurt you."

"You didn't know, Tae." The model took Jungkook's hand and curved his fingers in, bringing the back of his hand up to his lips and kissing it with care.

"And that's why all I want is an apology for not telling me. I told you to be honest with me, Jungkook." He sounded hurt. He was hurt. "Did you really hide it from me only because I was away?"

"It's a distraction. You're working with the biggest fashion brands in another country, you need to focus when you're there."

"Hey, Koo, what am I?"

"What?"

"Yes, what am I? What's my occupation?"

"A model. Celebrity. Famous person— why are you asking this?"

"I'm a professional, too." The model pushed up from the bed to sit. Jungkook shifted to seat himself comfortably in his lap, legs in either side of his hips. "Even though my personal life's public, I've kept it from interfering with work for years. I know how to work while keeping the emotions for private time. You're always on my mind so this isn't about me focusing. This is about me understanding your emotions, being there for your ups and downs."

"Tae, it's not worth it—"

"Your pain's not worth my time? Why are you even saying this?" Taehyung wrapped an arm around Jungkook's waist like he would run away given a chance. "Jungkook, what happened to being strong and believing in your worth?"

"I-I just... Taehyung, it's been hard. It's so hard." The words gushed out of his mouth like a relief to say it out loud. "I've just doubted myself a lot the past few days. I know I tell you not to, and I'm a damn hypocrite, but I also can't help it."

"You're allowed to feel scared. That's natural. It's scary being plastered on every media page." He attempted to validate the younger's opinions. "It's your least favorite thing, I know, but that doesn't make you any less competent in being the most important thing to me."

"T-Tae, it's not even that. You didn't see— it's not the spread of it, someone's been watching me for awhile," Jungkook wiped away frustrated tears, terribly brainwashed of all strength. "Probably has seen us together— god, no, this wasn't supposed to happen on his terms."

His terms?

"Bogum." The name was bitter on his tongue, making his hands fist the younger's shirt, Jungkook shuddering at the name. "I know he did it."

"He's been watching me for weeks, Tae, he's probably got so much on me." The younger's voice stuttered out, trying not to show the fear's toll on him, but Taehyung saw through it.

"I've never wanted to punch someone more in my life, Jungkook."

"What?" The disbelief in his voice startled Taehyung. Did Jungkook not think he hated the monster?

"What do you mean what? You thought I wouldn't be upset?" He saw Jungkook wipe his face off with his sleeves as his hold on the younger slackened slightly.

"I just— I-I know about the doubts you have, Taehyung. Your refusal to get drunk because that slimmer of doubt gets you and it scares me— scares me that you regret fighting for yourself—"

"Jungkook." He said, voice low. "Listen to me, okay?"

The younger nodded numbly, clamping his quivering lips shut.

"I will never doubt how terrible he is for hurting you." Taehyung almost snapped out of anger at Bogum. He was angry. He really wanted to break the guy's nose. "We all have doubts, but I will never regret hating that man for hurting you."

"But the other things—"

"I just need closure, Koo." The model shook his head. "To be honest, that doubt's running really thin after this bullshit he pulled. I refuse to let him hurt you. He can do and say whatever the hell he wants to tear me down, but he's not allowed to come at you."

Jungkook's arms wrapped around his chest, playing with the expensive material of his blouse. "You're not a punching bag."

"And you're not my damn shield. He's fucking pathetic for trying to hurt you to get to me."

He frowned at the small smile on Jungkook's face, the younger tearing up differently. There was appreciation in his eyes, making the tears sparkle like the night sky rather than ripping at Taehyung's chest in sadness.

"I've never seen you angry before." The photographer whispered. "Don't be angry."

"I'm not angry at you."

"At anyone. You'll stress your skin frowning so much and Noona will be mad."

"Noona has magic hands, I'll trust her. Besides, I couldn't care less about hiding my anger. I'm not working and we are going to be honest around each other."

Jungkook looked like he wanted to say something, so Taehyung squeezed his sides, raising his brows in hopes of the younger sharing his thoughts.

"He's not allowed to hurt you either." The model melted in the sweet hug. "I can tell how much much stronger you've gotten just from this."

"How so?" He kissed the boy's shoulder, relaxing when he felt Jungkook stay close to him.

"You've built this wall, I don't know, almost like a camera lens cover. Blocks out the dangers of the world and keeps the most vulnerable part of the camera safe." Taehyung could only smile in awe, having seen enough cameras in his life to know the reference.

"I don't think I've built a wall. You keep thinking of that shield mindset." He mumbled back, leaving small lingering touches of his lips along Jungkook's neck. "I think I've just found higher ground where he can't reach me. Where I can be at peace with my angel and invasion is impossible."

The younger shivered, coming down from the adrenaline rush of gripping feat. "One week."

"One week and Bubblegum Bitch is gone. I've never felt more ready to do to court."

"You're making it sound like you've gone countless times." The giggle leaving Jungkook's mouth sounded like heaven on earth.

All Taehyung could think about was putting Bogum behind bars and keeping Jungkook laughing. He hated seeing the younger upset and hated the man at the root of his pain even more.

"Second times a charm." He mumbled tiredly.

"Pretty sure it's third times a charm."

"There's not going to be a third time, I can promise you that."

And he meant it. He didn't feel doubtful for what happened at that charity event three years ago, not after seeing Bogum out Jungkook and destroy his one piece of normalcy in growing popularity.

Not after using Jungkook to try and hurt him again.

Jungkook pulled away from him, brushing a finger against his long lashes and smiling at how ticklish they were. "You're beautiful, Kim Taehyung."

"I'm human." The elder shook his head and kissed the hand tracing his features. "You are, too. No one's invincible and you're my equal, yeah? Don't ever think I don't need to know when you're hurting."

"I'm sorry for not telling you," Jungkook apologized. "And thank you for trying to cheer me up when I could hardly keep it together on the call."

"Never hold anything back, you can tell me anything." Taehyung chuckled softly. "I still suck at jokes."

"I thought the loose powder story was actually funny as long as nothing got ruined."

"Got some on my handbag, but otherwise we were good."

"Are you kidding? I searched that up and it costed like two thousand euros!"

"Remind me of my net worth again? The one you've also so generously searched up?"

"Oh, stop being cheeky."

"And never stop smiling, Koo." The laughter died away at the heartfelt words, joking manner slipping. "I'm serious. I'll do everything I can to make sure you're happy, too."

Jungkook smoothed a hand behind his neck and pressed his lips to his. The kiss was like his form of a thank you, when his words failed, when he couldn't speak through the rise of emotion, and resorted to another favorite way of showing his feelings to Taehyung.

"Koo," the model breathed against his mouth. "Can we finish talking first? You need to eat, too."

They both almost laughed again at how lopsided their approaches sounded.

"You want the lights on?" Jungkook asked quietly, sliding off his lap.

"It's okay, lights off is nice. Eat something." Taehyung nudged him to get the plate and he took the mug of tea made for himself, satisfied by its cooler state. "Drink some of this, you'll feel good."

"Okay," the younger nibbled on the sandwich and sipped the tea, seated beside him on the bed. Taehyung drank some of the warm drink, too, and felt its trail of heat relax his inner chill of nerves.

They basked in the silence for a bit, the model hoping it helped Jungkook overcome any overwhelming emotions before they continued talking. When the photographer set his plate aside, eating enough to satisfy his hunger, he climbed back onto Taehyung's lap to hug him impossibly close.

"You're so warm." The shaky voice said against his shoulder and Taehyung leaned over to set his glass on the dresser, holding firmly onto the younger so he didn't fall.

That silence dragged on as Jungkook slumped in his hold. It dragged on until he decided that it was a good time to speak again.

"Don't be scared." Taehyung whispered in the darkened atmosphere, tucking the younger's dark hair behind his ear and craning his neck to kiss the plane of his forehead. "Once he's behind bars, it's just the fans... listen, the good ones will be respectful. And honestly—"

"I know." Jungkook tilted his head as he played with the thin necklace around Taehyung's neck. "I can't be the Celebrity Prince of Korea's boyfriend and go unnoticed anymore."

"I know it's not fair. You deserve the privacy you've wanted to hold onto."

"You know, Taehyung," The photographer shrugged. "I've been so scared, hiding here, because I don't trust myself with how I'll take more exposure. Fans can be terrifying."

The model's chest painfully clenched. He wanted to reverse time. To when things were more normal for Jungkook. Maybe if he hadn't gotten the younger to speak on the radio, maybe if he hadn't asked Jungkook to spend so much time in an obvious place like the area of his apartment...

"It never gets easier, Jungkook." Taehyung admitted truthfully, because the guy deserved to know what he was getting himself in to. "Not when you don't want the attention. You just get better at hiding that panic."

"I get that." The smile on Jungkook's face was weak, but there. That made the older feel better.

"Angel, if there's ever a time where you decided this isn't what you want, I'll understand. It's not for everyone. It's not easy. And I just want you to be happy. If that's with me or not, I'll understand and respect you for it."

"Are you kidding me?"

"What?"

"I love you more than my privacy." The younger shook his head. "I'm not that much of a hypocrite. I'm not running away."

"Jungkook, I'm serious. Celebrities spiral from the pain this industry can induce. I almost did. And I know you love me, but you need to keep yourself healthy."

"I won't ever regret this." He replied in an instant. "There's always bad in the good, right? So this is the bad. I'll grow into it. I know it's not easy and I know I'm conflicting my emotions from just a bit ago, but... I was bound to freak out. I might freak out if someone catches me again tomorrow, but that's just the bad."

"I'll keep you safe. I promise you I will do whatever I can to help you."

"You didn't let me get hurt this time either. Don't blame yourself."

"Jungkook..." Taehyung took a deep breath. "I trust you a lot. And that means I'm trusting you to make the right choice for yourself. I'd rather see you whole from a distance, than broken beside me."

"I am making the right choice. I love you and that means embracing all of you. The fame, the attention, the media and the luxury. I just want you and I know I have to be willing to make some sacrifices to have you."

"You're not alone in this." Taehyung swallowed his rising relief, blinking his tears away. He wasn't going to be selfish and beg Jungkook to stay, but he was beyond grateful the younger thought such a way. "We are holding each other's hand 'till the end, remember?"

The hurried nod was warming, the smile widening to something stronger that what it was before. "I knew I just needed to be in your arms to think properly. Clear my head and calm down. It's really easy to do that when I hug you."

"I'm glad I could be of some service, my beautiful angel." The model chuckled, heart swelling with the soft giggle filling his ears.

"You're stealing my lines." Their hands met, resting on Taehyung's chest as Jungkook leaned forward to brush his nose against his.

"And you stole my heart, so who's the bigger thief?" The model murmured, voice swooping as his free hand pulled Jungkook closer, pushing their chests together.

"When did you get so cheesy?"

"Probably with all the romantic stereotypes of Paris." Their breaths hugged in the narrowing space between their lips. "Hey, Koo?"

"Yeah?"

"Everything's going to be good even if you stay by my side." The model announced, like a declaration, a request that Jungkook do as asked. "Not in front of me like a shield, or behind like a shadow; just right beside. Hand in mine."

He couldn't even respond, swimming in his thoughts. He simply breathed the same air as Taehyung and reached for his hand, felt the love the model couldn't convey yet.

"You just want to kiss me, don't you?" The model laughed quietly at the doe-eyes darting to look at his near lips.

The younger's cheeks burned as he met Taehyung's loving gaze. "No— well, yes— but, I'm really glad to hear all this. I'm glad we talked first, trust me, I just 'wanna kiss you because I missed you, but we needed to talk. You also just look so damn hot in this outfit. How do you look so good coming off a plane?"

"You're adorable when you ramble, did you know that?" Taehyung grinned at the lightened mood, hands sliding down Jungkook's sides to smooth over the thighs that straddled him. "I could be wearing a trash bag and you'd still be ridiculously calling me hot."

"I think I saw a fan comment that once. Definitely agreed." The younger buried his face in his hands. "Oh, god, I am definitely ridiculous. I never know what to do when you get all like this."

"Send me back to Paris?"

"Like hell I'm going through another week without you right away." Jungkook pouted, moving his hands to link around the tan skin when Taehyung peeled them away from his face.

"I'm happy that I'm home, and even happier that you let me be yours, Jeon Jungkook." The model whispered before closing the inch of space between them. "Thank you for loving me and sacrificing your normal to stay with me."

Jungkook ended up crying at the words. Because he'd been thinking about home and about normal life so much the past two days.

He'd been thinking about how nice quiet Busan would have felt like. Even wondered what life had been like if he'd never befriended Taehyung all that time ago in private messages. He'd probably be planning another hiking trip or treading along the pier for his morning run.

But there, wrapped up in Taehyung's arms, being laid gently onto the bed and kissed like he was the best thing to happen to the model— crying more when he realized Taehyung actually thought that— that love was above everything else in his heart.

The slowing of their breathing as Taehyung fell asleep holding him, with the exhaustion of traveling overtaking, put Jungkook at ease.

Everything would be okay.

It would take time, it was easier said than done, but Jungkook felt safe in those arms.

He could manage the bad and find his new normal eventually.

Because those arms holding him felt like home, too.

—

the angst train is my favorite train

not me completely scrapping
the first version of this chapter and redoing it after staring at the original
for an hour in confusion
second version is definitely better

also 5k votes THANK YOU SO MUCH
ILY GUYS and take care of yourself!

—neeto💙