Xander's POV:

I sat on the edge of my bed, Doe standing a few feet in front of me.

Her hands sat on her hips as she intently watched the door.

After yet another day without that invitation home, we'd turned it into somewhat of a bet.

She bet that it would arrive today by 7 pm, and I bet that it would be here tomorrow, neither of which I was too confident about.

It was about 6:55 right now, so I had a feeling that she was very close to losing.

Which meant that tonight was most likely going to be the night that she has me bite her.

That's what she decided to wager with.

If she won, then it'd get pushed back till tomorrow, but if she lost then it would be tonight.

I agreed since I felt no fear from her as she explained her terms before the bet was made.

Just simply covering her memories with better ones.

An odd approach, but whatever.

I had no right to judge how she chose to recover from what happened to her.

All that mattered to me was that she was recovering.

Although as the next minute passed, an instinctive excitement began to build.

This craving felt different and I knew why.

I silently cleared my throat, already feeling that anticipation behind the ache in my fangs.

Oh, this had the potential to go very badly.

I just barely managed to keep it together a few nights ago, and that was just resisting my urge to bite her in the first place.

Once I go through with it this time... Knowing that once her blood hits my tongue it'll bring forth that more demanding portion of me that craved her

The conversations since then. The realization of how deeply set on her I already was.

God, I better be able to keep it together.

I knew that every part of me cared greatly about how she felt, so all I could hope for in the worst possible case scenario is that I'd stop if I accidentally crossed a line.

But that was just a fail-safe.

Not that I'll need it, but... I needed the security of knowing that this wouldn't go bad for her no matter what.

No... I'll be fine.

This isn't the bloodmoon, so I'm the one in control.

6:57...

Her blood has never tasted that good to me. It always got overpowered by my guilt from the act which made the aftertaste bitter.

I continued more and more to reason with myself, trying to stop the expectant excitement that was quickly covering any sort of guilt.

My tongue rubbed against the top of my mouth, clenching my jaw extremely hard in a vain effort to ease the building pressure behind my fangs.

This kind of craving wasn't one that I was used to, but its intent was ringing loud and clear into my brain.

Usually, any kind of blood would satisfy a normal craving, but this one was pointed and precise.

It had to be hers. Nothing else would satisfy this.

Shit, this was more intense than I thought.

I've read enough books to know that this kind of act is different when there are romantic feelings present, but I never imagined to what extend.

My back straightened as I heard her sigh, the hands on her hips dropping.

"Alright," she turned to face me, "I give up."

"Give up?" I repeated, thankful that at least my voice agreed to behave normally, "But you still have two minutes."

She lifted and dropped her shoulders in a way that showed she had already fully accepted surrender.

"And I'm fairly confident that he's not going to get here within the next two minutes," She replied, stepping closer, "Which is why I give up. You win."

Well, I didn't win, she just lost.

My fingers pressed deeper into the comforter I sat on the closer she got.

And then even more so as she nonchalantly lifted her hands to tuck her hair behind her shoulders, reaching over with her right hand to pull it back over her right shoulder.

Willingly exposing her neck to me.

The sight sent everything in me into a frenzy.

Keep it together. Keep the purrs at bay.

"So. How do you want to do this?" She inquired, stopping about a foot from me.

There wasn't the slightest bit of nervousness in her voice talking about something that I knew she feared.

If anything, she almost sounded eager.

Maybe she just wanted to hurry up and get it over with.

"That's not my choice to make," I reminded her.

"I want it to be," She fired back, "I'm not the one with the fangs so I don't know the best way to go about this."

I let out a short hum.

If she wanted it to be my decision, then I guess there was no use trying to fight her about it.

"If you insist," I began, scooting myself further back onto the bed before patting the blanket on either side of my legs.

Then I'll put her in the same position as before.

The same as when I gave her those marks that still dotted across her neck and collar bone three days later.

I thought that maybe if she was the one above me, it would help remind her that she was the one in control of the situation.

The last thing I wanted to convey to her was that she was trapped.

She'd been pinned to walls, the floor, everything for far too long now, and I didn't want to trigger more memories than she could deal with at once.

Maybe later if she specifically requests it, but not now.

She glanced between where I was gesturing for her to be, making the move without another word.

I again succeeded in holding back my purr as she maneuvered into position, my hands finding her bare lower thighs to aid her.

My grip on all of it was slipping, but for now, it was still present.

It slipped even further as she settled there, her scent washing over me with the heat her body radiated.

The fast beating sound of the blood I craved coursing through her body started to make my mouth water.

Like some kind of rabid animal.

Her hands placed themselves on my upper arms rather tentatively.

That kind of movement was new coming from her.

I had to turn my head up to see her face since she was still standing from her knees, and the look I saw on her face was also new.

She had her brows pressed together, and her bottom lip pulled halfway into her mouth.

I took a moment to analyze, and the urges scratching up my insides paused as well.

She wasn't panicking. She wasn't scared, she wasn't nervous...

"Y'know we don't have to do this now if you don't want to," I offered anyway, in case I was missing something.

I didn't want her to think that she had to do this now just because of a bet we made up on a whim out of boredom.

The honey color of her eyes shifted to meet mine.

"Oh, no that's not it. I just," She stopped a moment, slowly lowering her hips down to sit on my legs, "Feel free to do some more of these. If you want," She finished, taking a hand off of me to gesture to her neck.

That was all it took to make everything in me that took a break at her hesitance begin again. Hard.

Though I will acknowledge the pride that started up because of it and the soft laugh that stemmed from it.

"Will do," I promised, flattening my hand against her lower back to coax her closer, "Any place in particular you want me to bite?"

She shook her head, "You choose,"

Easy enough then.

Though I could feel the slightest bit of tension growing in her by the second.

It wasn't even close to being as harsh as it was the first time we were in this situation, and thus, I didn't take an immediate reaction to it.

After all, with her invitation, I'd decided that I was going to take my time.

Just like with our previous experiment, I wasn't going to perform the main event until she was relaxed.

With that in mind, I guided her so she sat just barely taller than me, her head turning to expose her neck.

Lifting my other hand from her thigh to the base of her neck, I slowly leaned in.

My purr broke through the second my lips met with her skin, every inch of my being rejoicing at the feeling of her body against mine.

Just her being here with me like this eased a portion of the nagging within me, yet on the other hand being so close to her like this again... tasting her mixed with that half-suppressed gasp.

It sparked an entirely new problem.

She pulled herself closer with an arm bending around my neck and taking hold of the thin sleeve of my shirt.

Fingers pressed harder into my upper arm as I skimmed below her jaw, feeling her chest concave when I began placing soft kisses upon every pre-existing mark and then some.

Her next breath came with a tremor, her muscles already easing and we had only just begun.

I continued pampering her with kisses across the same spots I'd limited myself to last time, mixing it with soft caresses from the hands I had on her.

I wanted to get her to a certain point before beginning to fulfill her request.

I didn't know how long I'd be able to contain myself after feeling her pulse against my fangs from that, and I didn't want to risk it.

Just the sound of it from her close proximity was tempting, but it was a blessing that handling her gently was non-negotiable.

The rumbling vibrations grew deeper, that mixed with everything else being what eventually got her to the point that I wanted her at.

Just for her to stiffen again as I closed my mouth over an already existing hickey.

Though this time I knew it was just from surprise.

The hand grabbing at my sleeve released just to lift and tangle into my hair.

Yes.

A shameless groan passed my lips, blowing right against the fresh mark as she tugged on it.

We had just gotten started and she was breaking me down without much effort and without her knowledge.

She had so much power over me and she didn't even know.

I lowered myself downwards to her collar bone, tongue flicking out against it before repeating the process a few more languid times.

My fangs were screaming at me at this point, just from feeling her skin against them.

Her pulse hadn't lessened from when we started this, and though I tried to stay away from spots directly over a vein, that effort was beginning to be futile.

They knew what was coming and their patience as well as my self-restraint was getting stretched thin.

Not yet.

No... I wanted to enjoy her like this for a bit longer.

The quiet mewl she released as I trailed my tongue up her throat aided in getting that point across.

In fact, the sound of it, the knowledge that it came from me sent a buzz shooting up my spine.

A possessive growl merged with the purr, pulling her closer.

Her warmth enveloped me, sending every nerve ablaze and begging for more.

The aid it gave me was short-lived, and I was losing my ability to fight it.

I wanted to taste her so badly.

I wanted that kind of connection even if it was one typically saved for another vampire.

No part of me could find it in them to care.

It wanted her. I wanted her and I wasn't going to fight myself on that front.

Not now

The craving was getting unbearable to the point where it was turning painful.

I kissed over the last mark I'd made, inching my way up to find the artery that ran under her ear.

The feeling of her racing pulse thumped against the nerves in my fangs as I followed the vein to the bottom of her neck, driving me wild.

Okay... I couldn't hold off anymore.

I tapped twice against her back with my finger, letting her know that it was coming.

The only response I got was a tightening fist in my hair and a preparatory inhale

Her body didn't tighten, fear didn't begin to permeate the air, she didn't push me away.

And so, I placed a delicate kiss over my spot of choice before lining up my fangs and piercing them into her skin.

The relief that shot through my fangs as they found what they'd wanted was euphoric in a way I'd never felt before.

Enough so to cause another groan muffling against her body.

She tightened just a noticeable amount, the pressure from the hand in my hair tightening in the most perfect way.

I jerked my head forward to create an escape route, warm blood hitting my tongue.

The blood that, for as long as I've known her, had been haunted by bitterness had now become the most addicting flavor I'd ever come to know.

The perfect sweetness imaginable.

My purr grew more intense as I swallowed, a second thumping starting up beside the feel of my heartbeat throughout my body.

It was hers.

I could feel the beat of her heart flowing as if the blood I was taking was being put right into my veins.

And just like that, every urge I had felt prior burst into a fully awakened state as every last bit of me wished to experience as I connected with her in this way.

As the very feeling of this concluded and verified just how badly I wanted her.

That I needed her.

That the woman who somehow spotted the good in me even at my worst, had become my lifeblood.

The one who kept me in line and lifted me back up when I'd reached my lowest.

How much I wanted to be there as she experienced the world. How I wanted to stay at her side no matter what.

The two racing beats danced within me, the realization and enrapturing feeling of it all nearly bringing tears to my eyes.

She was everything to me.

Her quick and deep breaths sounded in my ear with the pressure her thighs were putting against my sides.

Even though the elating intoxication her blood was putting me through, I was still aware of how much I had taken from her.

And though this taste, this experience, everything this was offering me was greater than I imagined, the fact that she was a human with a limited blood source took top priority.

I rose my fangs from her with a sharp gasp, carefully licking over the two puncture holes to seel them up.

I placed my lips over each one and then a few more placed just to get her to relax into me fully.

Her entire body was trembling and yet I couldn't pinpoint from what, so I didn't just want to end this with the bite.

My hand drew further into her hair, tracing circles against her scalp while I lightly sucked again on her skin, not wanting these to be as visible.

I managed to earn another timid sound from her.

Everything continued to flow through me, not giving me any time to stop and think.

How badly I wanted her.

Fuck...

That need was now freely flowing through my veins, making it even harder to deny let alone ignore.

Or control.

I ran my tongue over my fangs, swallowing the remainder of what she had graced me with, and let out a long exhale onto her shoulder.

It was now pounding against me harder than ever. After tasting her blood like that, it was like my body was demanding some sort of solidification that she was mine

No... I couldn't do this now!

Not when this was just supposed to be for her!

My fingers bent into her soft shirt as I set my forehead on her shoulder, trying to give myself some time to compose myself.

I couldn't let my want for her show any more than this.

Not when she didn't feel the same way.

The absolute last thing I wanted was to risk screwing this up so I needed to get it together.

I was so high strung, so set on her right now, that I didn't even think that I could look at her without losing it.

All she wanted was the bite. She didn't sign up for anything else.

She didn't sign up to be the only person I've ever truly wanted in this way.

I drew in long, calculated breaths in a vain attempt to calm everything in me.

The fist in my hair released, falling to my shoulder as the other traced down my arm.

"Alex?" she breathed out, sounding almost concerned.

God, even just the sound of her voice.

I was so completely done for.

I didn't want to just straight up ignore her, but I also wasn't too confident that I could do anything without making this worse.

Without making it snap.

After a few seconds, I slowly lifted my head from her shoulder, keeping my head down.

I couldn't look at her, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even breathe, knowing that any little thing would only fuel this constant agonizing pestering to show her just what she meant to me.

I'd thought that I'd experienced the worst of my vampiric greed, but whatever I felt then was nothing compared to what I was feeling right now.

It was suffocating.

I was stuck.

Shit... shit shit shit.

"Alex," the repeated call held the same tone but was sterner this time.

The hand on my shoulder moved under my jaw, ever so softly pressing it upwards as if she was simply requesting that from me.

My body listened to what she was requesting without question, screwing me over even more.

My fangs bit into the inside of my lip as my eyes met hers, her pupils nearly taking up her entire iris with that wide-eyed look of hers that I absolutely adored.

Both of the beats in my body raced beyond belief, every push and want trying so desperately to front itself.

It was going to succeed if I didn't do something soon.

If I could manage to do something soon.

Both of our heavy breaths blew across the other cheeks as we just stared, pink coating both of ours if I had to guess.

"I..."

The strained word died as soon as it arrived, wincing as soon as I heard it.

The desire coursing through me grew and grew with each passing second she stayed in my view. that she stayed on me.

I wasn't sure whose doing it was, but we were drawing closer to each other.

We were practically breathing each others air

'Kiss her,' the demand echoed against my skull, rising even further my fear of taking this too far.

No. No no no this wasn't the right time!

I don't care.

My body moved against my full control, setting my thumb on her cheek and the other fingers into her hair.

Every inch of my skin burned, the fresh heat from her breaths just adding and adding to it.

She didn't lean away. She didn't push me back or turn her head away.

Her eyes just sparked with her own desire as the inches turned to centimeters then to even less.

I could feel the heat of her lips radiating onto mine just for them to hit the skin of my hand that I managed to slip between us just in the nick of time.

A small muffled sound rose from her throat as the hand covered her mouth, quickly blinking in surprise.

Meanwhile, I was still battling my intense desires with reasonings.

She didn't know what any of this meant!

No matter how badly I wanted her, I never wanted to take advantage of that fact.

It wasn't fair to her.

I managed to pull back a few inches, taking in some steady breaths.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, dropping my hand from her mouth, "I didn't mean to-"

She stopped me from going any further with a firm hand on the back of my head.

I didn't -couldn't- fight against it.

Silence overcame us as I saw a battle begin behind her eyes,

"Xander, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what any of these feelings mean but I..." her voice broke towards the end, a hint of desperation showing through, "Don't pull away... please."

Her plea broke something in me, especially with the way that she worded it.

All with that innocence need across her features.

I didn't want to go through with this because I worried about her lack of understanding when it came to these things.

Especially after hearing about how they had her view kissing, to begin with.

I didn't want to be selfish, not when I didn't deserve this in the first place.

But that look in her eye. Confused as it was, it was unmistakable in the way that it matched my own.

"I won't," I assured her, wanting to give her absolutely anything she desired at this moment.

She nibbled nervously on her lower lip, eyes never straying from mine before she moved again.

Her coy action slowly pulled me in to reclaim the inches lost, another movement that I was completely hopeless in trying to stop.

I don't think I wanted to anymore.

My breath caught in my throat, every pestering urge exploding into jovial relief the very instant her lips pressed to mine.

Dear god.

Bliss immediately overtook everything I was previously experiencing, hearing a small hiccup from the woman on top of me.

My chest burst from the contact, my thumb rubbing over her cheek as we both leaned further into each other.

I could tell right away that she was rushing, and blamed it purely on what she was taught.

It didn't take long for me to ease her down into it, taking the lead and guiding her through it with the actions that came instinctively to me.

Both of her hands met and tangled with my hair, pushing me impossibly closer as I lead her through a few slow and careful presses of our lips.

She fell into my lead perfectly, my other hand holding steady at her back to keep her there.

It seemed neither of us wanted the other to pull away.

I felt her shudder and gasp as that proprietary growl began again, rumbling directly onto her with how our bodies were pressed together.

Embracing the feeling of her as much as I could at this moment.

I didn't know if I'd ever get to experience it again. If this just happened from the heat of the moment, or something else entirely.

Either way, right now, I really didn't care.

Her back arched against me as my tongue grazed her bottom lip, tugging at my hair.

Intentionally or not, I couldn't tell, but her lips parted and I didn't hesitate a second.

I kept my senses listening for any sign of hesitance, any sign of dislike or the like just in case, and continually found nothing.

Again, she matched my energy and performed accordingly, occasionally taking the lead of the situation herself.

No matter what I tried I couldn't deny the passion here, the spark that grew between us as the minutes passed.

I didn't let myself dwell on what it meant because I didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing.

I just wanted to enjoy this.

We both did as we continued on, breaking just long enough to suck in a breath before connecting again.

I'd get another tug to my hair with every sound that slipped from my mouth into hers, and everything in my cherished every little noise she made.

She sounded so shy and yet was so assured in how she moved.

In how she kissed me.

It was addicting, she was addicting.

She was so perfect, and I was so fucked.

With each ongoing moment I could feel that if this were to go on for much longer, I was going to begin to want to go even further than this.

Even if she had agreed to my offer to sleep with her, that didn't mean that she would be comfortable with going through with it right now.

Stopping this was the last thing I wanted and yet...

I'm lucky to have gotten away with this. I didn't want to push my luck.

Not after she made it known that she was to expect sex after every time she experienced a kiss.

I moved my hand from her back to the side of her waist, applying a small amount of pressure to her the next time we parted.

Her eyes opened, wide in questioning as I backed further, spotting the same worry from before.

"Easy there, dove," I alleviated, cupping her face as we both struggled to regain our breath.

"Why'd you stop?" she asked. The shy innocence in her voice was new and tugged hard at my need to protect her.

God, she was adorable.

Whether she hid behind that hardened exterior shed build, or braved her way out of it, it didn't matter.

As long as it was her.

"My urges work differently than yours," I explained, "I didn't want to bite off more than we could chew."

That, and it didn't take a genius to see that she was a tad overwhelmed.

I knew that she was enjoying herself, but even then, this had to have been a lot for her.

She already said that she didn't know what her feelings meant, for all I knew, it all could have just been a purely physical reaction.

I didn't want to immediately assume the best knowing how far-fetched that seemed.

"Oh," she replied, steadily relaxing herself down to sit atop my legs again, slowly starting to piece together her composure, "I um... I'm."

I leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek as she tried to piece words together.

"Don't think about it too much," I told her.

I could only imagine what was going through her head already, I didn't want her to fight to try to put anything into words.

Not yet.

"Wait till you've regained some of your blood first," I recommended.

Her gaze fell from mine, a bit discontented, but agreed nonetheless.

I stilled as she leaned in so that her cheek was on my shoulder, breathing onto my neck while her nails found themselves against the back of my shirt.

Every exhale that brushed against my neck as she still worked in regaining her breath...

The potent urges in me finally began to subside, satisfied with what had happened.

For the moment.

I held her close with hands trailing against her back, our chest rising and falling with each other in perfect sync.

Even my purr dimmed but didn't fade entirely, feeling her relax further and further until her entire weight was on me.

If I thought that there was somewhat of a chance for me to pull myself from her before, it was long gone now.

I leaned my head forward against her.

This was going to hurt like a bitch.