Xander's POV:

I let out a disgruntled huff as I set the phone down.

"Who the hell rents out an entire hill?" I grumbled to myself.

That hill was one of the only places I could think of that wouldn't have had us crowded around many others and given us a decent amount of privacy.

Which I did want since I needed to talk to her about something.

I guess we could go to one of the parks or the woods.

No... the parks are going to be crowded and the woods would impede our view.

I slouched, leaning my hands onto my desk.

Honestly, to get both privacy, and a decent view, we might as well just stay here.

We had a good sight of the mountains from the window, so the view would at least be nice

I just hope she doesn't mind...

I turned my head towards the window, spotting the clear sky. Absolutely perfect for a night like this.

The sound of her footsteps approaching me from the bathroom sounded as I further analyzed the bay window.

Yeah, I could make that work. Spruce it up a bit with some pillows and blankets and it'll be perfect.

"Turn around."

I did at just the sound of her voice directly behind me before I processed her words.

As soon as I was facing her, she raised her arms and slipped something onto my head, whatever it was taking my hair with it.

I just stayed still as she altered its positioning, her eyes borrowing in focus while she bit the corner of her lip.

I tried focusing more on finally figuring out what it was more than the sensation of her fingers in my hair as she put it to her liking.

Once it was settled, she crossed her arms and took a step back, nodding to herself.

"Did you really just put one of your headbands in my hair," I asked, wildly entertained by the thought.

"Well, yeah," began her informal response, "You refuse to cut it or manage it, so I wanted to see if this would work."

Well, it did get the hair out of my face.

"And does it?"

She looked it over once more, pondering for a short moment.

"Yeah, it doesn't look half bad."

'Half bad' in 'Doe standards' was quite possibly the highest honor you could receive.

It must look good.

"Thank you then," I said, leaning my hips back till I was partially sitting on the desk, "Do you uh, have any objection to just staying here for the meteor shower tonight? The place I wanted to go is all booked, and nowhere else is gonna be nearly as good."

A hint of unease crept up on her as she looked towards the window.

Right... The last time she sat there, things didn't go too well.

I know that she loved sitting there, so I just hoped that experience didn't ruin it forever.

In all honesty, it stirred that protectiveness in me too, but I knew that nothing could happen to her if I was there beside her.

It looked like she knew that too with the resolve that replaced her initial look.

"I don't mind," she replied, "At least that way we don't have to dress warm."

True.

I looked over the outfit she'd been wearing all day, but specifically the shorts she decided to favor.

I don't know how she settled on shorts that barely went down to her mid-thigh during the middle of winter, but kudos to her.

Humans and their warmth I guess.

"Aight," I stood back to my full height, "I'll get the spot all nice and cozy while you order the snacks."

~~~

I sat myself onto the side of the sill closest to the door, leaving the side she always preferred open to her.

I'd lined the whole seat board with the thickest blanket I could find for some extra comfort, as well as stolen some pillows off my bed to add some nice back support for the both of us.

Since Doe could miraculously sit with her back against things with little discomfort.

I knew she was being truthful when she said It wasn't bothering her that much, but I still couldn't help but be wary

That must have been some doctor...

My attention shifted as soon as she approached, carefully lifting herself up into it as well.

It was a little too obvious that she was trying to sit as close to the inside edge as she possibly could, occasionally sending some nervous sideways glances to the outside.

Yeah, no. I wanted her to be as comfortable as she was the days prior to that incident, though I know how much she'd dislike it if I just up and said something about it.

So, as inconspicuously as I could given the large gesture, I slid my hips further towards her and extended my leg to the opposing side, creating somewhat of a railing between her body and the glass.

She tried to hide her surprise, but I noticed the lifting of her brows.

Then, she actually let out a small giggle, finally relaxing and sitting on it normally.

The sound caused the corners of my mouth to rise.

"Is this your version of a seat belt?" She prodded.

I simply shrugged.

"Just stretching is all," I lied, and she knew it, "Though if there's one thing I've been consistent with, it's not letting you fall."

She considered that for a second, eventually agreeing with a nod.

"I guess I'll let you have that," She turned her head to gaze into the darkened sky, "When's this thing supposed to start?"

"Give or take about twenty minutes I think. I'll kill the lights once it starts for the full effect," our food better be here before then too, "There is something I want to talk to you about though."

"Oh?" Her eyes widened at my serious tone since it was so rarely used.

But I was serious about this. About her and her future.

About making sure she has the opportunity to live her life to the fullest.

"Yeah," I sighed out, leaning my head back against the pillow behind me, "I was thinking quite a lot about ways I could help you kickstart the new way you live your life."

I was well aware that she didn't even know where to begin. She'd never been allowed the knowledge of what her life could've been if she wasn't born into this kind of life.

So knowing that I took it upon myself to at least help guide her. To present her with options that I think she'd enjoy.

But, before all of that, what I wanted was to pull her out of the role she was born into.

To burn the documents that labeled her as a pet.

"How would you feel about citizenship?"

Her eyes bulged even further, proving that this was the first time the thought had entered her mind.

Followed quickly by that scent of uncertainty.

Which was somewhat expected. I know that level of change can be daunting, especially since she doesn't know what to expect.

"Here?" she eventually asked.

"Oh god no," I quickly clarified, waving off the thought through the motioning in my hand, "In my territory- or, my parents. It's usually around this time that they send Nico and me an invitation to visit for my father's birthday. Most of the time Nico doesn't want to return home, and I stick with him, but maybe this time I'll go anyway."

I did miss home...

"I have more control there as prince and have access to the citizen records as well as the means to create new ones without question. It would take me no time at all to make the switch. We could find you a nice house to settle down in and start over completely with documents stating that you belong to no one but yourself."

There was an ache already forming in my chest as I spoke.

One I was expecting, but not this soon into the conversation.

I didn't want to separate myself from her like that, but I had absolutely no right to deny her of that kind of life.

I didn't want her to think that her only options were ones I was included in. I wanted her to be free from her past even if that included me.

Or at least... a part of me did.

The other was clawing deep at my insides, screaming at me to stop and just keep her close.

I wanted her here... with me.

But truly, one thing my entirety could agree on was that all I wanted was for her to be happy.

I... I wanted to see her thrive even if that meant I wasn't a part of it.

As much as the thought killed me.

I looked back at her, trying to read the look on her face as she just stared at the space between us in thought.

The look wasn't a pleasant one.

It showed her nerves but wasn't quite fear.

Discomfort maybe... or trepidation.

This had to be a lot for her to take in, the fidgeting of her fingers where they intertwined at her lap proving as much.

"Would... would we still be friends?" I was shocked most by the timidness of the question, like the mere thought of me saying no would destroy her.

Yet felt a heap of joy in the fact that she'd still want me around.

"Of course," I answered softly, trying to ease that nervous edge she was showing me, "I'd show you around town, and help you get settled into your own place. Maybe crash at your house a few times a week."

It didn't look like my lighthearted attempts were working, which worried me.

What was going through her head right now?

"But would you stay there with your parents, or eventually come back here to Nico?"

'And leave me there' I could practically hear the unsaid part of her sentence through her anxious tone.

"I-" I froze, unsure of what to say.

I honestly hadn't thought that far ahead.

And truly, that wasn't an ultimatum I had the immediate answer to, nor one that I wanted to answer.

"I'm not sure," I spoke truthfully, "But this is all hypothetical anyway so those details aren't important yet. I was just throwing the idea out is all, so we don't have to figure everything out right now" I rambled the quick clarification.

Which worked in calming a percentage of her worry.

"Right, yeah," she let out a slight cough, regaining the confidence in her posture, "I'll... I'll think about it."

The confidence didn't follow through into her voice.

I partly wanted to try to get her to divulge into her thoughts so I could see where she stood with the whole thing.

To clear up her worries or explain something that she didn't understand, but I didn't want to push it.

Not when it felt like the conversation in of itself created an awkward tension that I think we were both scrambling to fix.

Ok... how do I change the subject without it being too weird?

Who and I kidding, she's probably thinking the same thing.

When she wants to, she just jumps right into it no matter how strange it may seem, and I just go with it.

"So uh... you said you stuck with Khloe at the clinic. Talk about anything interesting?"

"Oh my god!" She exclaimed, sitting up super straight and even slapping a hand down onto my leg beside her out of some sort of sporadic excitement.

It startled me quite a bit.

Her face showed it, whether it was to aid the shift in conversation or truly genuine to whatever she had just remembered, I couldn't tell yet.

"She had a hickey!" she announced ecstatically.

My eyes narrowed, jaw falling open.

"Khloe?"

A very quick and eager nod.

"From Nico." she answered my next question before I could ask it.

I stared at her, dumbfounded.

That was certainly not something that he typically indulged in, we both knew that.

Which was why she looked so keen on sharing.

It wasn't too often I could get some gossip that included my brother, so this I could get behind.

"Nuh-uh," I indulged, leaning forward

"I swear!" She began, leading me to believe that this excitement was genuine.

She most likely wanted to tell me this before now, but just got distracted with everything else that happened.

"Right here," She pointed to the bottom of the left side of her neck with her right hand, "It was ridiculously noticeable and all kinds of crazy colors. She said that he did it as like a 'marking of ownership' or something so that they would go easier on her, but damn was that thing an interesting sight. It honestly looked like it hurt."

'Marking of ownership' huh?

An... interesting move on his part, and yet one I just knew he didn't come up with himself.

He's never been too fond of physicality. Both with his pets or in general, so this was incredibly fascinating.

Maybe something about Khloe was different to him.

"Do hickeys hurt?" She suddenly questioned.

I found it strange but found nothing but innocent curiosity in her voice and face.

Which actually further helped me understand what I'd already began piecing together. More of what kind of 'training' she went through as she grew up.

She explained how she was never taught in any physical way, just had instructions given to her.

Instructions that I would bet were only about the physical side of things.

Purely telling them what do to and how to do it, and never telling them what to expect from it.

Apparently, hickeys were something they covered since this was the first time they've ever come up in conversation, and she already knew how to label it from sight alone.

Which made sense, vampires were very affectionate with their mouths by nature.

I'm assuming she knew how they happened and how to give one, but they never bothered to explain how they would feel on the receiving end since they deemed that unimportant.

I can't imagine what other things they just so happened to leave out.

"If they hurt, then I don't think the person giving it is doing it right," I simply explained.

She thought this over.

"What do they feel like then?" she inquired.

"On the giving end or receiving? Cuz you're asking someone who hasn't been on either." I shamelessly disclosed.

Her shoulders sagged in disappointment at my lack of an answer.

"How boring," she groaned.

"How boring indeed," I agreed, speaking my next words as nothing but a tease, "We could go ask Khloe and Nico."

She actually winced at the awkward image that would create, rising a short laugh from me.

"Or you could use me and figure it out for yourself," I spoke as a joke.

It was supposed to be a joke.

But that realization that crossed her features, that mischievous glint in her eye.

She took it as a challenge.

In hindsight, I really should have seen that coming.

My heart thundered at the sight of it, butterflies swarming my stomach in an instinct at the thought of actually going through with it.

No. No no, I was not allowed to enjoy the thought. Not when it was coming at her expense.

I owed her too much for that to be the case.

If it were to happen, it would be just for her. Just for her and nothing else.

Just to give her the answer that she wanted and nothing more.

If anyone was going to sate her curiosity with this, it was going to be me.

I didn't trust anyone else, now knowing what her background entailed.

That innate protection of her I had quickly bloomed into something more from that thought.

If they did, there was so much they could and would take advantage of, and that was not a trap I wanted her to fall into.

I somehow managed to keep my internal dialog off of my face.

"On which end?" She asked, and the fact that she felt the need to make it my choice showed more of that conditioning ingrained in her.

"You're the one asking the question," I pointed out, subtly trying to pull her away from that way of thinking, "That's your decision to make."

I told her to use me and I meant it.

I wasn't even totally confident that she would be okay with me touching her like that, even if it didn't mean anything more than just the action itself.

Yeah...

But she's already made it clear that she'd say something if I ever made her uncomfortable.

At least that much she was aware of.

A quick check-in showed me the increased speed her heart was at, yet I couldn't find the exact reasoning behind it.

Her face still held that confident, challenge accepting grin, though there was a brief pinch in her brows and sideways turning in her eyes as if she too was trying to figure it out.

"Receiving," She decided, meeting my eye again, "I want to know what it feels like on the receiving end."

I shoved down the instinctive -or otherwise- excitement at her words, internally scolding myself back in reminder that this was only for her.

I matched her grin, extending a hand towards her.

Regardless of the things I was telling myself, my voice came out lower almost gravely from something that didn't feel completely within my control

"Come here then."