Doe's POV:

Xander disappeared into the closet a while ago.

Long enough for me to have ordered something to eat, and even with most of the people working the castle helping with the ball, have it delivered.

I'd realized that due to the stress of the ball, I hadn't eaten anything from this morning.

And starving wasn't something any part of me wanted to be doing again.

So, I idly snacked on this small bowl of assorted fruit, rethinking everything while waiting for him to return.

I'll admit, this... wasn't at all how I had expected this night to go.

Not even close.

Against my better judgment, during the hours he was gone I had desperately fabricated countless scenarios for how this night possible could have gone.

I came up with the bad, the worse, and tried to even it out with some good ones.

I didn't dare try to get my hopes up too much for... obvious reasons.

Just so I could try to tell myself that I would be prepared for anything.

That I wouldn't be caught by surprise again.

So when he came back three hours early with that look of complete desolation in his eyes... When he fell to his knees sobbing and blubbering out his words like they alone were more important to him in that moment than breathing.

The raw regret and vulnerability he was handing to me...

I was blindsided.

Nothing could have prepared me for that.

An apology that I'd never thought that I'd hear because I never thought that a vampire could tear itself away from that greed.

I'd thought about it only as a fantasy... as a hope that I had since given up on for my own sanity.

For a minute there, I had convinced myself that I was dreaming.

But the tender emotions that the sight before me pulled out of me... I don't think I could dream those.

My eyes narrowed in thought, gaze stuck on the poor grape I had just stabbed with this tiny fork.

For a second at least, until my eye caught a shimmer next to the bowl on my lap.

Some quick investigation showed me that it was one of the little jewels he had on his suit.

I guess it must have rubbed off.

He's clung to me three times in the past week, and every single time it stemmed from a different kind of desperation.

This time though, It felt like I was the one holding him together.

I just hoped that I handled it properly...

I couldn't tell in the heat of the moment I just spoke from the heart.

I was stuck between being relieved and still fighting that part in me that was cautious.

All while dealing with the anger that steadily rose in me the more he spoke.

Not at him... not entirely at least.

Mostly at the vampire who started this whole thing.

Who strung him along for this long just because she could. Who abused her own species' mindset instead of just telling him that she wasn't interested and ending this whole thing there.

He was a product of the problem, but not the root of it.

I wanted him to know that.

To know that I knew that.

The damage was still done and was up to him to fix, and I know he was aware of that.

I could see it as he was slipping down into the mindset of wallowing in his shame and regret.

Which was the last thing I wanted when she was the one pulling the strings all along.

It's all I've seen since he pulled me from that pet shop, and it's all I've wanted him to fix ever since.

I just wanted him to know that I understood... That I was here for him if he needed.

That I'd seen who he was, and I liked being around that person.

That although I couldn't yet give him forgiveness, I'll still stick by his side until the day comes that I can.

I wanted to trust that one day he'll get there.

She on the other hand, where was her repercussion in all of this?

Royal blood or not, this just didn't seem fair.

Everything she's done to him and he's the one being torn into nothing.

Although I highly doubt that I'll ever get any sort of groveling out of her, any semblance of a consequence would be appreciated.

He said that he's done with her, but I doubt that she's done with him.

That was one of the worries still spinning in my mind.

Judging by how early he left and how close he was to crumbling when he stepped through the door, I knew I was the first person to be hearing about this.

To her, he was still wrapped around her finger.

So her plan to come... 'take care of me' after the ball still felt like a possibility.

A very large one too.

I tried to ignore the turn in my stomach, and swallow what was in my mouth.

I guess I'll see then whether he meant all of this or not.

Maybe then I can start letting myself believe everything that I want to.

Until then, well... the cage is the only thing that has stayed consistent.

I sunk back into my seat letting the couch swallow me.

This was the closest I've ever been... We've ever been to ridding ourselves of her, but just like always, it was up to him.

I knew he meant every last word that came out of his mouth. Something that I felt I could say a whole lot more often.

But knowing and trusting had become two separate matters in my brain.

I spun the fork between my fingers before stabbing it down into a chunk of pineapple.

I suppose I'll have my answer soon enough.

Tomorrow, if I really had to guess.

I forced the fruit into my mouth, trying not to allow the worry to hinder me again.

Finally, I heard the doorknob to the closet turn, causing me to lift my head.

After what had to have been nearly 20 minutes, he stepped out wearing the clothes he preferred over everything else.

Except instead of the regular, large T-shirt he likes, this one was sleeveless.

A rare sight to see from the vampire who for some reason favored to cover himself.

Getting all emotional, I've recently learned, does kind of make my body feel hot.

Maybe it was the same, or maybe it just felt hot in here since we haven't opened the window for a few days...

Anyway.

He was matching me with the sweats and tank-top combo.

Except his shirt was almost the same deep blue as the suit I had put him in.

It was just a good color combination with his hair and eyes... In my opinion.

He took a few steps out, shaking his hands through his hair that was no longer tied up.

A few more seconds of just looking at him and a thousand more questions popped into my brain.

My curiosity wanted to know what happened at the ball that caused the turning point, but I knew that was for a different time.

I could just see in his face that he just wanted some quiet to allow him to think for a bit.

Not quite in the same way that I became when I was overwhelmed or upset, but his own rendition of it.

He more so just looked ragged.

He's always respected my space whenever I needed it, so obviously I was going to do the same.

Especially after all of that.

I was expecting him to just crawl into bed like he's done before but caught him looking over at me instead.

From me to the food I had, the space next to me, and then back to me.

He repeated that a few times, Intentionally or not, before I nodded for him to come to join me if he wanted.

Surprisingly, he did.

I don't know why it surprised me so much. I guess since when I get in that kind of mood, I prefer not to interact with people, I momentarily thought he was the same way.

He gingerly stepped his way over to me, full-on collapsing back onto the couch with a heavy exhale.

With horrible posture with how low his shoulders sat on the backrest.

That awkward leftover tension was still noticeable, though this time it felt less necessary than the last.

Having things be awkward after he finally snapped out of that hold on him didn't feel fair.

Even if it wasn't solidified in my mind just yet, he shouldn't be punished for this.

I said that I wanted my friend back and he agreed.

In a way that strangely made my heart clench, but that's a focus for another time.

For now, though, I guess I can at least attempt putting some of that normalcy between us again.

"Twenty minutes to take off a suit? If you needed help you could have just asked," I offered casually, digging through the fruit to find another pineapple chunk.

He liked pineapple...

To my appreciation, he smiled.

It was a soft one, and still clouded through everything else he was feeling right now, but it was better than nothing.

"I'll remember that next time," was his quiet reply.

I was settled with it nonetheless, content what even after tonight, that Xander I knew was still present.

Finally finding what I was looking for at the bottom of the bowl, I stabbed it and lifted it out.

A food offering, just like he's done to me.

Though it was just a small chunk of fruit, I'd like to think the message was clear.

The peace offering we'd made out of this sort of thing.

An extra show that I wasn't upset with him though I may have sounded like I was.

Plus, I was worried about him and wanted to make sure he's in the right state of mind to still eat.

I didn't want him to fall into thinking that atoning meant self-suffering.

He eyed my hand as I pointed the fork towards him, blinking in surprise.

Then switched between me and the fruit as if making sure that my intentions were what they thought they were.

"You have three seconds to eat it before I take it back."

It seemed like it was that easy, because he finally took it after I had spoken, biting into the fruit with his fang and pulling it from the fork.

I watched to make sure, seeing him sag further into the cushion after he swallowed.

Satisfied, I resumed my own snacking for a few moments of comfortable silence.

"If it weren't for Layla, would you have wanted to go to the ball?"

I stopped mid-chew at the interesting question, giving myself some time to think.

"Where's this coming from?" I questioned.

He wasn't looking at me, instead, he was staring ahead into nothing.

"Khloe was there," He began, "Nico had gotten her a personalized dress from someone we know. It just made me think about, well, you. What kind of captivating look you'd put together if you had the chance."

The way he spoke was unmistakably wistful, yet almost sad.

Was that really what he was thinking about at the ball?

I pondered it for a moment.

He knew the reason I didn't want to go despite what I had said.

Even if the other things were true.

"Maybe," I began, "If Layla wasn't an issue and the circumstances were a bit different, then I think it would be fun. If I could've hung out with you instead of being shoved into the far side of the ballroom and forced to socialize with humans equally if not more so socially awkward than me then... Yeah. I don't see why not."

If both of my shoulders weren't busted.

Not to mention I had no idea how to slow dance.

Not that that would have been that detrimental to the night.

I could just... hang out on the side. Eat some food or whatever.

As for the outfit, I honestly didn't know where to start with that. I've never had a reason to have to put something that formal and elegant together before.

Xander nodded slowly.

He did say that he would've rather been with me than anyone at that ball...

"Did you really miss me that much," I asked as more of a tease.

"You have no idea, Doe," he responded rather quickly.

The truth in it made an unfamiliar warmth crawl up my neck.

"Well, maybe one day, but until then," I stretched my legs out to rest them on the coffee table, gesturing to the lazy outfit I was in, "I'm afraid you're gonna have to settle for this."

His eyes trailed over my entirety, that smile reappearing.

"As long as it's you, I'll never have to settle."