Xander's POV:

This ball was so close to being halfway done and yet it felt like I'd been here for days at this point.

Time felt as if it was stretching just in another show to mock me, knowing how badly I wanted this night to end quickly.

It felt as if the universe was taunting me.

One out of numerous instances tonight.

Another being that out of all of the glasses of blood, the random assortment is being carried through this crowd... Every single one I picked just so happened to be AB positive.

It just so happened to be hers.

A 12.5% chance every time I grabbed one, and every single time the odds were against me.

And it just kept getting more and more ridiculous with the abundance of blood I've had tonight to attempt to keep myself calm.

Another constant reminder. Toying with the fact that all I wanted right now was to leave and return to Doe.

To pour my heart out with all of the unmistakable realizations that finally came to light tonight.

Now that the strange pull Layla had on me had been severed, and I could see things as they really were.

How everyone around me could see it, and yet I was blinded by a greed and longing that never should have been there in the first place.

Neither of which I should have handed over to her so easily.

I was stuck trying to reach an ending that I now realize was never there.

And how easily, how guiltlessly she played with that. How she strung me along as nothing but a puzzle piece in her plan.

And how Doe shouldn't have had to play into any part of it, to begin with.

Part of that played into why I wanted to return to her so badly.

To apologize from the deepest part of me about everything that's happened to her prior.

I still didn't expect her forgiveness, but I needed her to know.

She and Nico, but she took first priority in this matter.

I may have ruined Nico's relationship, but I ruined her entire life and it showed.

No matter how well she tried to hide it, it showed.

My eyes drew up to the large clock on the back wall, showing me that only a minute had passed since I last checked.

Again, time was forcing me to taste and swallow drip upon bitter drip of the guilt and sorrow, giving me plenty of itself to focus and dwell on it.

A reality check, I guess you could call it.

A wake-up call on just how much fixing I had to do.

Another second at the clock, and I realized that it was nearly time for the third dance of the night.

My gaze fell to Layla who'd been talking for... actually, pretty much the whole night.

I couldn't only force myself to pay attention to it for about twenty minutes before her voice just blended in with the background and I caught myself zoning out.

Nico looked to be in the same boat that I was in if the way he was just watching the blood swirl in his glass told me anything.

They shared the first two dances, per her request. Which I didn't find myself caring in the slightest.

Another thing this night showed me that I could feel relieved about.

I didn't want to dance with her.

I didn't want to be anywhere near her.

I could almost guarantee that if she wasn't here right now, I could at least try to enjoy this night with just my brother.

Or even him and that girl he was with at the start. I'll third-wheel, I don't even care.

I felt myself snap back into reality when Nico looked to Layla and then me, brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry, What?" His voice sounded for the first time in the last hour.

I panicked for a moment, thinking I had missed something important, but Layla's laughter cut through instead.

"I just mean, I don't understand how a guy like you can go so long without pairing with someone. I don't know it just kinda baffles me. I know that I for one would absolutely want to have a guy like you."

And this... She'd been doing little plays like these for years, rising unneeded jealousy and tension from me to Nico.

And still, I pushed for her no matter what.

I may have been blinded by that, but she was blinded from the obvious fact that Nico wanted nothing to do with her.

Even now he showed his complete disinterest with the fact that he was favoring what was in his glass than participating any further in the conversation

He wasn't into anyone. He was guarded in that aspect due to being our family's heir.

After dealing with only women who wanted a shot with him for his status alone... he just stopped trying.

And Layla.... well, Layla was no different.

Though for a different reason than most, the intent was still there.

I haven't even seen him willingly talk to any girl since...

Wait-

"Y'know I don't think he's going to be single for much longer," I spoke up, grabbing both of their attention for clearly different reasons.

"Oh yeah? Why is that?" Layla spoke up first, unsure of where I intended on going with this.

Actually, so did Nico.

I could continue to play the oblivious boy. To pretend that I didn't see how much she wanted him.

Just in this instance, where I thought it would be funny.

"You should have seen the hottie he was talking to before I dragged him over to us. She seemed like a real catch to me." I spoke with a wide smile.

One glance at Nico, and he looked shocked.

Well... as much 'shock' he can muster through the stoic default he presents at public events.

"Oh really?" Layla replied, and I could nearly hear the grit of her teeth.

She looked to prepare to speak again, but Nico's voice beat her to it.

"Xander."

I rose my glass to my lips again, welcoming the sweet taste, "Hm?"

"That was my pet."

My eyes went wide, blood stopping halfway down my throat at what he had just said to me.

I think a bit of it went up my nose, forcing a few coughs from me.

No way. No way!

"That was NOT Khloe!" I objected for no reason other than my own clarity.

I guess that explained why I haven't seen her since.

I could believe it was her. Looking back on it, it should have been fairly obvious.

Hair like hers was hard to come by and easy to recognize, but I must have been sidetracked.

What I couldn't believe was how different she looked compared to what I'd seen prior.

Nico had never had that much care in how any of his previous pets looked if they attended a ball.

"It was." was his monotonous reply.

The dress she wore.

I didn't get a good look at it but pulling what I could from my memory, I knew that design work.

I knew that he went to such a length to get that dress personally from a friend of our parents.

Every single one of the gowns my mother wore were from her, as were most of our vests and suits.

"You got that dress for your pet?!"

We only ever contacted that seamstress for important events, and she needed a multitude of details for her work.

Which was a whole lot more effort I've seen Nico put into well, anything recently.

I can only assume it was something Khloe wanted as well.

Which info itself was an entire topic I could focus on, but instead, it made me wonder.

What Doe would have wanted?

"Uh-hu," Another blunt response to a situation I had so many questions to.

Layla butt in, slicing me away from my somewhat blissful prior thoughts.

I forgot she was still here.

"Wow Xander," she started amongst her quiet laughter, " Trying to pair your brother with his pet? That's pretty low."

I felt a sharp stab to the center of me. A jab at that ferocity in me.

Just hearing the word 'pet' come from her mouth...

No... Not here.

I chose to ignore her.

"I'm still not convinced that was Khloe!" I alluded, trying to press for information I felt like Nico was deliberately keeping to himself.

"Well, it definitely was."

I guess he wanted to keep it that way.

Which was fine, I could respect that.

It was just a strange thing for him to do.

"Holy shit," I muttered, setting my empty glass on the tray of a passing servant, and solidifying that in the moment, I was jealous of Nico for an entirely new reason.

I wanted Doe to enjoy this the way it looked like Khloe was.

I didn't know if she was even the type to enjoy those kinds of clothes because she's never had the opportunity to express herself like that.

But god how badly I wanted to find out now

But the thought that I never would, that she'd never feel comfortable enough again around me, temporarily cornered me back into silence.

A silence that Layla quickly took the liberty of filling again.

"Well, I guess what I said stands true then," She sounded relieved about the answer to her question, "Since it's ridiculous to ever think that Nico, or anyone for that matter, would pair with any human."

My fangs pressed against the inner edges of my lips.

Even at just the way she said 'human'.

"He deserves the absolute best vampire to be with him for the rest of his life." She turned her body towards Nico, "isn't that right?"

Yes. He absolutely deserved it, and it sure is hell won't be you.

"Right," Was Nico's quiet, conversation-ending reply.

I watched him for a bit longer as her voice started up again, noticing a sudden sadness flash through his eyes before he let out a quiet sigh.

It seemed like we both didn't enjoy the fact that we were here right now.

The lights dimmed and his head rose before I could deduct anything else.

The third dance...

I felt a weight drop in my stomach at the realization that this ball was only halfway over.

I didn't know if I could handle the other half.

Physically or emotionally.

"Finally," Layla sighed, reaching a hand towards Nico, "Shall we?"

Nico's hard gaze shifted from her to me.

I felt myself straighten at the intent behind them.

Only to regret it once I found out what that intention was.

He grabbed Layla's hand by her wrist, and, to both of our surprise, dragged her forward the few steps before setting her hand in mine.

My stomach twisted at the ice-cold contact.

He kept walking, not even looking back. Just set off towards the front of the room with an, "I have to check on something.

I kept my head turned, watching him as he disappeared into everyone else, mentally begging for him to come back.

Her hands felt heavy in mine, and it took everything in me not to recoil them.

I didn't want to react like that to a touch ever again, regardless of whether or not they deserve it.

After a bit of mental preparation, I turned back, focusing on who I was now holding.

Yet all I felt on top of everything else, was a yearning for something else.

I just stared at her hand, finding myself trying to picture Doe's darker skin there instead. The touch that wouldn't be nearly as cold.

Her dark hazelnut hair and eyes that reminded me of honey in the sun.

The unmistakable color of warmth whenever it would pair with that mischievous smile of hers.

I found myself both wishing and cursing myself with the fact that she wasn't here.

That we could have shared the night like this. That we could've had fun like we did the days prior.

If I hadn't ruined everything that night. If I had just faced my lie and ended it all in that moment then maybe, just maybe, we could have had that.

I wouldn't even care if I had to keep myself over with the humans to have achieved that.

Doe could easily pass as a vampire, she undoubtedly had the beauty, especially mixed with whatever outfit her heard desired for this night.

She held herself with the confidence of one as well.

She would have easily overshadowed everyone else.

Unfortunately, there were two vampires who would know that she wasn't and that may pose a problem.

I came back to my senses, seeing the blonde that I was once so infatuated with.

Questionably staring at me given my lack of interest that she was so used to it.

And that's all it was. Just infatuation.

There was no appreciation for her, no fun in any of this, no chemistry, nothing.

What am I doing...?

Why am I here...?

Why did I just leave her there all alone after everything while I'm down here with Layla?

I dropped her hands, wiping them against my dress jacket as they slid into my pockets.

"I need to check on something too," I followed my brother's lead almost exactly, turning and walking away before I could see her reaction.

I couldn't find it in me to worry about it either, not when I knew what I needed to do.

Not when it was so clear to me who I'd rather be sending this time with, even if it was just to spill out the regret I was feeling.

To let her know everything in her moments of uncertainty and just hope that she believed me.

It was still time better spent.

My eyes were fixed on the doors I came through, weaving through vampires with that thought, and only that thought in mind.

Which meant that I jumped at the feeling of someone taking a hold of my shoulder, and forcing me into a stop.

Nico.

My eyes widened at both the shock and confusion of his action while he looked me over.

I could only imagine what he was thinking.

He literally handed me the girl who I'd been obsessed with and here I was now.

"Where are you going?" I was expecting some sort of harshness to the question I knew was coming, but this was just genuine curiousness.

More and more of that had been showing up lately.

Or I guess more of a lack of that underlying annoyance.

I guess I should be happy that he stopped me. It would have been weird if I just disappeared halfway through the ball and never came back.

"I'm uh," The truth. Tell him the truth, "I'm gonna head up to my room," My mental exhaustion showed through my voice.

"You're leaving?" he clarified with the more direct way to say what I did.

I nodded.

"Yeah, I uh... I have some things that I need to take care of, and this ball isn't helping me with any of them. I know I asked you to stay here with me, and I'm sorry for dragging you into this awkward and... boring night."

I managed to say all of that with a soft smile, hoping that would be enough to make him not press for questions.

He usually didn't.

But this time he did, and with that same question as before.

"Are you okay?" He spoke it with a more insistent tone than the last time, holding tighter to my shoulder.

A lump shot into my throat without warning.

I knew it would be coming eventually tonight with what I had planned, but this was sooner than I had anticipated.

I wanted to fix everything. With both Doe and him.

"I'm getting better," I settled with, taking a single step forward towards my destination.

Nico didn't take his hand back until my next words though, "I'll talk to you later."

A nod was all he gave me and was all I needed from him before I sped out of there.