Xander's POV:

She wasn't eating, and I've tried everything.

She barely gave the lava cake a second glance, and completely passed up the milkshake she loved after that.

Nothing.

I even tried some lighter meals. Soups, small finger foods, smoothies.

I've been sitting at my desk nearly all day so that the phone was always within grasp, pondering what to try next

Nothing. Absolutely nothing was working.

Nothing more than a single hooded-eyed glance from the new spot she's taken by the window.

I guess I should be partially grateful that she left the cage at all, and that she was at least taking the water.

It was a small success but still wasn't anywhere near enough.

Not when I knew how much she loved food.

My ears were practically trained on her at this point.

Ever since this morning I've been monitoring her from my ears alone, almost as if just on instinct.

Every growl of her stomach caused a folding in mine, and a hard zap in my chest that made my panic for her to dig deeper.

That strange feeling again showed the active presence of the instinctive part of me.

It's sure had a lot to say lately, and I think I just preferred if it stayed dormant like it was supposed to.

Although this time the feeling was different.

Instead of pestering, It was like it was just standing on guard with me.

Like it was present just in case, checking in whenever I used the advanced senses they gave me.

This time it felt like we were in an agreement.

Mostly...

Do something already! Fix this!

I could feel the message and the push shooting itself through every nerve in my body, causing every muscle in me to tighten.

For my breath to catch and claws to slip out momentarily before I could ease everything back into relaxation.

It's been getting worse and worse with every passing minute.

With the knowledge of what happens and with Doe's condition.

Knowing what my poor foresight and lack of planning when her life was on the line cost me.

How she still wouldn't pay me a glance but that wasn't as important to me as the fact that she was wasting away.

Suffering so much for what I did.

For a mistake I made, and yet she was taking the consequence for.

All of which felt so disgustingly familiar, and added drop after drop of bitter guilt that I deserved to swallow.

For a stupid mistake that I let her get included in.

None of this was fair to her.

Which was one of the reasons the restless need to talk to her was always present in my mind.

I knew her. Every part of me did, and I believe that's why the pushes I'm getting from them aren't as forceful as they could be.

They were the embodiment of everything I wanted to do, but couldn't.

I wanted to comfort her however I could. To take everything she was feeling and put them on me.

To get on my knees and plead for a forgiveness I didn't deserve.

Not even forgiveness...

No, that hope was too farfetched.

Just a minute of her time. To try to explain myself and offer whatever I could to ease her mind.

To get her to at least eat.

But she wouldn't take any of it. I knew that.

She never wanted sympathy, if anything it just made her mad.

I felt like even now it would just made her crawl deeper into the hole she was in.

She didn't like that kind of attention, but she liked and needed her space.

So I had to give it to her.

For as long as she needed it.

Smothering her in apologies and forcing comforts she didn't want wasn't going to get either of us anywhere.

Especially after what happened.

My needs to know what was going on in her head were nowhere near the time and space she needed to figure out and deal with her problems.

And the fact of the matter was that this time, the problem was me.

Still... Even with all of this.

With her declining state, and my inability to do anything but offer silent pleas, there had to be something I could do.

A short-term solution to this that could just tide us over until the day comes that she's willing to talk.

Nico... What would Nico do?

I pondered that for a moment, shoulders sagging in defeat almost immediately.

Who am I kidding? Nico wouldn't have let the situation get this bad in the first place.

Nico would have stopped Layla the second she stepped through the door.

He would have fixed the damn lock instead of letting himself get distracted by something that for the first time in forever made him feel... like he could be himself...

Like he didn't need to try so hard to be liked by someone.

He would have listened to what his body was trying to tell him and acted accordingly instead of trying to fight them off in exchange for peace.

He wouldn't have frozen in the moment like a coward. He wouldn't have pulled away from her touch.

God, I can't believe I did that.

He wouldn't have to fix the problem because there wouldn't be one.

He was so sure of himself, and never questioned his decision.

He made them on a dime as if it were effortless, acting off of his gut instinct and dealing with the consequences just as easily when they came.

If they came.

He protected what was important to him like it was second nature. It didn't matter how it got done, nor did he give it a second thought until after the fact.

More often than not, he worked with his instincts

I know he's only fought it during instances where the effects of them differed from our territory to this one.

Like the bloodmoon, where back at our place, he rarely felt the full effects.

He had the built-in superiority of the one true heir of our family and it showed in everything he did.

With the grace and disposition that left almost none to question him.

Words couldn't describe how much I admired him for that.

How much I tried to replicate that, but it'd almost always fall through.

I'd panic. I'd freeze and overthink and things would end up... Well, like this.

But not anymore. Not at her expense at least.

I'll take the fall for my own undoings. And keep her far from it.

If I cant master how Nico pulls this off, then I'll start there.

I'll replicate his protective instinct as much as I can, vowing to keep her out of harm's way.

Even if she resents me for the rest of her life, even if she never speaks to me again, this promise will always belong to her.

My body relaxed, welcoming the thought into my entirety.

There was a low reverberation in the center of my abdomen, silent to the outside, but caused tingles throughout my body.

An agreement.

As well as a new freedom I could finally distinguish through the mess in my mind.

Like a long-lasting hold on me had been released.

I blew out a quiet breath, leaning myself forward and placing my elbows onto the desk.

Until then... Well until then, I needed Doe to be okay. I needed to aid in keeping her together.

Picking up the phone, I placed my 16th order today, praying that this will be the one that does something.