Xander's POV:

Doe was up and ready to go, patiently standing by the door.

Waiting for me to actually move.

But my limbs felt like lead and none of my symptoms prior had lessened.

Well, they did for a moment.

A very short one until Doe asked me what had happened.

Then it all fell back into place even harder than before.

All on top of the nervous churning in my stomach the thought of going to see Nico caused, knowing that my only purpose of being there was to ask a favor.

He never looked too happy whenever I came by, though my latest drop-bys have usually involved an injury that I took the blame for.

I just don't know if I could handle any sort of annoyed or disappointed glare from him right now.

He's been in good spirits lately, so maybe I'm just overthinking.

I used that small ounce of a positive outlook and used it to pry myself out of my bed.

Trudging my way over to the door, I mentally prepared myself for whatever mask I was about to have to put on in front of Nico.

I didn't know which one it would be yet.

I'll fig-....

My next breath came out more like a pant, the pressure in my abdomen splitting and shooting up into my head.

I tried my hardest not to stagger, and I thought that I'd gotten away with it until I glanced down at Doe and caught the genuine worry in her features.

Her lips parted just a bit, before shutting tightly, I guess changing her mind about asking about it.

Thankfully.

If she did, I don't even know If I could explain it to her

I just needed to hurry to Nico. Hurry and get him to agree to go so that Layla's answer gets solidified.

I'll have an answer, and then maybe this awful feeling will finally go away.

Or I can just chug a crap ton of blood, and just hope that it sates that inner part of me that's decided to be annoying.

I opened the door, and stepped out first, sniffing the air and glancing around for any sign of Layla before motioning Doe to follow me.

She did, staying closely behind me.

With every step closer to his door, closer to an answer, I could feel that deep desperation grow.

Like it was clawing through my ribs and sternum

And had my hands shoot into my pockets lest my claws decide to make another appearance.

Keep it together. Just keep it together until I get my answer.

And even after that... I wanted to keep it together in front of her.

The only somewhat pleasant sensation I was experiencing right now was that familiar, odd warmth from the very small spot she had poked my head...

But at the rate this torment was scraping its way through me, I didn't know how much longer I could go without showing it.

I reached for the handle the second it was within reach and placed my thumb on the little box above it.

But the door didn't unlock.

I stared, confused before trying it again, and then once more.

All three yielded the same results, and the door stayed locked.

That memory of Khloe's blood spread through my mouth once again, piecing two and two together.

Right...

I refused to let myself think about it, knowing that right now, I couldn't handle the regret on top of everything else.

Clearing my throat, I straightened my posture and knocked.

The silence from the other end made me feel like I was going to burst.

I sent a short glance to the girl behind me, seeing that she too, was staring expectantly at the door.

My next knock was much more frantic, which wasn't entirely on purpose.

I needed him to open it.

I needed this answer.

I'll do anything for it.

When I finally heard the lock turn and my brother come into view, all that desperation took over me.

"You have to go to the ball," I exclaimed, quickly stepping into his room.

Doe's footsteps followed behind me.

Nico just blinked at me, completely unbothered by my plea that came out sounding more like an order.

"No no, I insist, come on in," Nico's impassive tone spoke as he shut the door.

Which ignited a different dormant part of me that I couldn't reel back in time.

"Cut the shit Nicolas this is important!" I bit, regretting it almost immediately.

I'd rarely if ever spoken to him like that, and more often than not, his response wasn't great.

Which was one of the things that I wanted to avoid, but my entire body was acting against me today.

Yet for the first time in a while, I was relieved by the lack of a reaction he gave, just a crossing of his arms and a single brow raising.

"Well, Alexander, I take it that your little date with Layla didn't go too well?" he replied.

The deep visceral snarl that tore from my throat caught us all by surprise.

Especially the girl behind me, whose soft gasp was enough for me to will it to stop.

And for once, it actually felt like the symptoms lessened.

Just for a moment.

I quickly turned to face her, eyes wide.

Shit...

That wasn't a reaction that got ripped from me so easily.

In fact, I don't think she's ever heard that seriously in a situation that wasn't the bloodmoon.

Luckily, she just looked more surprised than scared, stepping forward to reclaim the step back that she had taken.

I took a deep breath, taking advantage while I could to calm myself down again.

I couldn't get the answer I wanted like this.

I turned back towards Nico right as he turned back from looking at Khloe.

Then, with that familiar sigh, he began towards the couches.

"Come tell me about it then," He offered.

An offer that every part of me took at full force, following behind him.

And I could feel the most frustrated part of me rise the moment I opened my mouth.

"It started out fine! We were having a grand old time looking at pets until I asked her if she would accompany me to the ball!"

I sat myself down on the couch facing the one he sat on with Khloe, Doe deciding that she was just going to stand.

After what happened the last time in here, it made sense for her to instinctively be on guard.

"Okay, and then what did she say?"

This was my chance.

"She said that she wouldn't go with me unless I convinced you to go and give her a dance!"

I noticed the girl next to me stiffen.

This was the explanation she wanted as well.

And this time, Nico's unresponsiveness had the opposite effect.

"So you came here just to convince me to go to the ball?" He finally asked.

My next words were instinctive.

"I'll get on my knees and beg if I have to."

I don't think he understood how much I meant that.

Yet the pondering look and slight smirk on Nico's face told me that he was actually considering it.

I'd do it. I really would.

Realistically speaking, what pride did I have left?

What ego did I deserve to have in front of the brother whose relationship I've destroyed, his pet who I've selfishly petrified, and the girl whose life has been a raging hell ever since I got her?!

I glanced again to the girl in question without thinking, seeing that she looked to be piecing something together herself.

Nico's lack of an answer, though, was pushing me off of the edge.

Which left the brain that didn't feel like it belonged to me right now, scrambling for another tactic.

Something that didn't involve growling like a rabid animal.

"Come on Dude it'll be fun! Food, Girls, Music, Blood slaves, you just leave your pet in your room so she won't get in the way of anything! It's stress-free! Come on Nico live a little!"

I knew Nico was an introvert. He has been all his life because of the way he learned to view the world due to his position.

But please. Please just do this once.

I watched in anticipation as he leaned back into the couch.

"Fine. Tell Layla that I'll go if she allows the pets and slaves to attend like she did a couple years back."

I think I nearly gasped in excitement.

"Hell ye-" My brows furrowed and my excitement died, both from his words and at the realization that his answer didn't make any part of what was affecting me go away.

I scrambled for something to say to cover my weird cut-off, "wait why do you want the pets and slaves to be able to come?"

It was a strange request from him, I'll admit. It also meant that even if Doe wanted to attend, she couldn't due to the situation I had put her in.

My brother just shrugged.

"It'll give them something to do and might be less boring that way." was his simple response.

Well, no use trying to dig any deeper. I had gotten what I wanted... or I guess what I came here for.

Actually, not really...

Maybe I had to relay Nico's approval to Layla to get this to really go away.

To have her 'yes' be solidified through her directly.

Yeah... yeah that made sense.

First I just needed to get out of here.

"OK. That was easier than I thought. I'll let her know." I spoke, standing from the chair.

I made a move, turning to leave, only getting a few steps in before his voice rang out with words that caused me to freeze.

"You know she's using you right," He spoke the words harsh, the only way he knew how while trying to get his message across.

No... Not this... not now!

Doe had frozen as well at my side, her eyes completely rounded and staring at the floor.

I don't think I could handle this conversation... not in a way that I'd want her to see.

But It didn't look like I had a choice.

So, swallowing whatever outcome I wanted, I turned my head back to face him, feigning cluelessness.

"How so?"

His answer was quick.

"She's using you to get to me."

I know.

"And?"

An eye-roll, that honestly stung more than it should have, showed on his face.

He seemed frustrated.

Yet the fact that he was saying anything at all about it gave me the slightest inclination that he cared.

"And she only wants me for the title and the power she would get if she convinced me to marry her."

I turned to face him fully, taking a slight sidestep so that Doe was directly behind me.

As if that would stop her from hearing all of this.

From hearing the words that sprouted from that heavy jealousy that sat among the countless other exhausting emotions brewing in me.

"So because of your stance in the family you think you have a better chance with her?" Were the words chosen.

Words that weren't entirely my own.

God, why couldn't he have done this at a different time?

A little bit later without the girls here to listen.

Just the two of us.

When I could think straight and had full control over my most basic reactions and emotions instead of focusing all my energy on looking and sounding like I had it all together.

"No, all I'm saying is that she's a gold-digger and knows about our father. By all means, go for her I won't stop you. I have absolutely no interest in her, but keep in mind what she wants."

I miraculously felt my internal jealousy shrivel into nothing at his words.

With hearing him honestly say that he doesn't want her.

"Well then, if you're not interested in her then your worries about her playing me don't even matter right? Even if she does want you for the power and you don't want her then she'd probably just get with me anyways so..." I didn't know how to finish.

So I'll just happily be the second choice? The rebound? Really?!

I just ended up shrugging.

"Wait you're brothers?!" Khloe's voice cut in.

I felt myself physically recoil ever so slightly at her surprise.

And the short-lived relief of part of this ailment shriveling away being quickly replaced with an ache that felt like a bullet in my chest.

Oh my god...

He... he didn't even tell her.

My nervous laugh cut in, trying to hide what I had just felt.

"You didn't tell her?" I asked, wanting clarification before anything else.

Maybe he told her but she just forgot.

There's no way after all that's happened... after all of our interactions.

"It's not something I'm proud of," Was Nico's cold, immediate reply.

Which caused the bullet to sink even deeper into my chest, along with an entirely new weight sinking down my ribs.

It honestly felt like a part of my world has shattered, a harsh realization slapping me hard across the face.

How did it get this bad?!

I mean, I knew it was bad, but...

A lump grew thick in my throat, hands bunching within my pockets.

How does it get so bad that he doesn't even mention my existence unless I'm there?!

That the person living with him was unaware of it.

I just started talking, as I did whenever I was in an uncomfortable situation.

"I thought she would have just figured it out," I began, trying to lighten the conversation for my sake. Or at least get that glare off his face, "I mean we don't look that different from each other."

It didn't work.

If anything it just made him look more annoyed.

"Your hair is blonde and mine is pitch black how the hell does that share any similarity?"

Okay... fair point.

I tried again.

"Don't hate just because I got mom's hair. But ignoring that we're pretty similar."

I brought up mom with the hope that just maybe it would start a different conversation.

I realized just how long it had been since the two of us had one of those.

A real one that didn't involve my stupid decisions or any sort of underlying motive.

"How the hell?" His quiet response dripped with the fact that he was finding this conversation tedious.

"We both have green eyes," Was my last-ditch attempt.

But really my desperation had shifted, and all I wanted was for him to admit that we had some sort of a relationship.

Even now.

That he didn't just deal with me out of obligation.

Out of pity.

Please just acknowledge that I'm your brother!

Give me the slightest assurance that you don't completely hate me!

My chest felt like it was going to burst, and had to bite my bottom lip to keep that lump in my throat from growing.

No matter my pleas, one thing didn't change.

I didn't deserve that assurance.

Nico and I were so close before I started doing all of this for Layla.

A bind that I'd cherished since I was born.

And I just met myself rip it into tiny little pieces before setting it on fire, telling myself that I'd be able to fix it later.

But I didn't realize how broken it really was.

Or maybe I did and I just didn't allow myself to realize it.

"Mine are prettier."

A short, conversation-ending reply.

Unless I had the energy to start up a new one, but the reality was, that I didn't.

Both mentally and physically, right now I didn't have it in me.

I couldn't fix this. As much as I wanted to, now wasn't the time, and it didn't sound like Nico was in the right mood either.

I should leave while I can before another emotion of mine explodes and makes me learn something that I'm going to regret.

"K well whatever. I didn't come here to talk about my relationship with you. I'll tell Layla to allow the pets and slaves to attend and you'll come to the ball. Deal?"

That's what I came for. That's what I wanted.

"Deal."

Step 3... Check...