| 31 |

~ Banks Woods ~    

My nerves are all over the place and I can't help but wring my hands together. Caleb's "soon-to-be-boyfriend" is coming over for dinner. I frown at the pasta boiling in the water. That's not what's bothering me though.

A few days back, I told Lance about how I'm scared I'll mess this dinner up and he offered to join us to help in between. Somewhere in my head, I also decided to tell him I love him too.

My stomach rumbles with nervous energy. I don't think I'll be able to eat or even sit properly. Maybe I should take my time with it and let it flow out of my mouth easily. For Lance, he says it as easily as breathing. He texts me that he loves me constantly throughout the day and every time we say goodbye. He's not shy about it at all and announces it to the whole world.

I do love him. I really do. He's the best thing that's happened to me. But I'm nervous to tell him. I don't even tell Caleb I love him. I tried practicing in front of the mirror but the words didn't come out.

It's always a series of: "I louuu–weee you," "I love..." "I don't hate you."

This is ridiculous. We've been dating for months now. I should be able to tell him that I love him. I don't know why it's so hard when he's one of the people I'm most comfortable with.

Caleb is busy fixing and then re-fixing his hair. He's just as nervous as me but for different reasons.

"Does my hair look better when I put this strand this way?"

"Caleb, at this point you've arranged every single strand on your head."

"There's something not right though!" He whines.

I sigh. "Why are you so nervous? You see him every day at school."

"Why are you so nervous? You see Lance every day too."

"Touche."

"I'm just worried about making him nervous. He's very jumpy." Caleb rakes his hand through his hair, messing up the arrangement of the strands that he's been after for the past hour.

"This is ridiculous." I rub my face. "It's fine. We got this."

He nods, not looking convinced though.

"It's fine," I say forcefully. "We got this. This dinner is going to go perfectly well, and both our boys will leave this house feeling satisfied,"

A look of determination flashes across Caleb's face, "A perfect dinner!"

"Yes, perfect."

"The most perfect they'll ever have."

"Yup."

"Yup yup."

"Yeah."

"Perfect."

I turn back to my pasta while Caleb focuses on his hair again.

●・○・●・○・●  

It's deadly quiet.

The four of us are seated by the dining table quietly digging our forks into the pasta and trying our best not to chew too loudly.

Caleb and Liam are sitting across from me and Lance, barely making eye contact. Occasionally, their arms would brush against each other and they would quickly shift away.

Lance sits with his hand on my thigh, rubbing a slow circle with his thumb. He's the only one who's attempted to talk while the rest of us remained in our silent bubble.

There's the other problem that the pasta tastes like rubber coated in an excess amount of salt. I don't even remember putting salt. How is it so salty?

"So Caleb, you didn't tell me about how your Social Studies essay went." Lance smiles, enthusiastically looking encouraging.

"Uh, yeah it went well." Caleb nods. He glances at Liam and meets his eyes before both of them look away.

"Banks!" Lance turns towards me cheerfully. "The pasta tastes so...so very...edible!"

I shoot him a glare.

He towards Liam. "Liam! Cool nail polish. How long did it take you to put it on?"

Liam looks up, surprised. "Uh, I guess around twenty minutes."

"Nice. Do you wear any other colour except for black?"

"No."

Liam looks back down at his food and it's back to being silent again.

My head is swimming with the same thought. 'I have to tell him I love him.' 'I have to tell him I love him.' 'I have to tell him I love him.' 'I have to tell him I love him.' 'I have to tell him I love him.'

He touches my arm. "Banks—"

"I can't do this!" I fling up from my chair. I slam my fork down before glaring at Lance. "Why can't you make this easier for me?"

"But I am trying..." 

I march away before listening to what he has to say. Oh god, why is this so hard? I walk over to Caleb's room and rake my fingers through my hair. I'm allowed one moment of silence before Caleb hurries into the room.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

I blow out a breath of frustration. "I—I can't get it out of my mouth!"

"What?"

"I can't tell Lance that I love him."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Well, Liam thinks you stormed out because you couldn't handle being in the same room as him."

I blink. "What? No. That's not at all what happened."

"Well, you weren't being very specific." He crosses his arms, glaring at me. "What happened to a perfect dinner?"

"Shit. I'm messing up, aren't I?" I rub my forehead.

"Banks, you don't have to tell Lance if you're not ready. Just relax and let it flow out."

"No, you're right. I'm being so pathetic right now."

He shrugs. "Can't disagree with that."

I open my mouth to chide him, but the door opens and Lance slides in with a concerned look.

"Hey, everything alright?" He looks between me and Caleb, then lowers his voice to a whisper. "I think Liam is super worried. His hands seem to be shaking."

"Shit." Caleb quickly runs past Lance without another word.

I place my hands on my face, groaning into them. Another pair of hands slowly rub my arms.

"You alright?"

I snap my head up. "This is all your fault."

He looks confused but lowers his head. "I'm sorry."

"What? No. You didn't even do anything!"

"Then how is it my fault?"

"Why the hell did you apologize?"

"Because you're mad at me."

"Yeah, but you don't even know why, so why did you apologize?"

"Because obviously I upset you in some way so I'm trying to apologize first then we could talk—"

"Why the hell are you so nice?" I growl in frustration.

"Uh...I'm sorry for being too nice."

"Shut up!"

He clamps his mouth shut.

"It's so hard to tell you things sometimes because I know I can't do it as perfectly as you do, and I don't want to be embarrassed about not knowing how to show my damn emotions that are literally making my chest ache. It's frustrating that I feel things but my stupid fucking mouth can't open up and say them." I swing my arms in violent frustrated gestures.

Lance just stands there and stares at me with an open-mouthed look.

"I love you, dammit! Don't make this weird or I'll kick your ass." I cross my arms.

I'm seething at myself for being so pathetic about this but a gasp escapes my lips when suddenly there's arms around me and a mouth pressing against mine. My thoughts fly out the window when Lance's demanding tongue pushes against mine, his arm clutching me tight to him. I don't understand what's going on but I melt against him and kiss him back.

A few seconds later, he pulls back with the biggest grin ever. "You love me?"

I bite my lower lip and nod.

He does something next which takes me completely off-guard. To the point where I think that I imagined it. He giggles. Lance fucking Astor giggled.

An incredulous look comes on my face but before I can question him about it, he presses his lips to mine again.

"I'm so happy you feel that way." He cups my face.

"I couldn't tell," I mutter, as he continues peppering me with kisses. Then I remember something and push him away with a gasp. "Liam! Shit. We have to go back out there."

Without giving him a chance to speak, I hurry outside to the dining table. Caleb is sitting beside Liam, holding his hand on his lap. Liam looks down at his plate with an extremely nervous look.

At my arrival, both boys drop their hands, straightening in their chairs.

"Sorry." I wince as I take my seat back with Lance beside me. "I just remembered something. Anyways." I clear my throat again. "How...how do you like the pasta?"

Caleb looks heavenward while Liam gives me an awkward smile.

"It's...something I've never tasted before."

Lance clamps a hand over his mouth to hide a smile.

"Shut up." I glare at him. "You don't even know how to cook."

"I'm not laughing." He holds both his hands up in defence. "I just had to cover a cough."

"Uh-huh. Sure. And what are you smiling at?" I direct my glare at Caleb. "You know nothing except making cup noodles."

His mouth drops open in disbelief. "Excuse me? This pasta was perfect thanks to yours truly before you accidentally knocked a packet of salt into this."

"I didn't do that."

"Yes, you did."

"Liar."

"Banks, there's literally fucking salt in the pasta to prove my point."

"I don't even remember touching salt!"

"Your elbow does!"

"What was salt doing near my fucking elbow?"

"Oh, I don't know, probably crawling its way up to your armpit." He rolls his eyes. "I was holding the packet and you knocked it from my hands."

I open my mouth to retort but Lance claps his hands.

"Children! Not at the dining table, please. We have company."

I look at Liam to see him shyly smiling at me and Caleb. My brother smiles back at him and I don't know if anyone else feels it but something charges between their gazes.

I look at the soft look on my brother's face as he stares at a shy Liam.

Damn, is this kid really in love?

Picking up my fork, I bite into my pasta only to grimace at the saltiness. A few minutes pass by and I can't take it anymore. With a huge sigh, I drop my fork and look at every one.

"Who wants to ditch this and make cup noodles?"

All of them raise their hands without a beat.

I can't even be mad at them because continuing to eat this is pure torture.

"Didn't Red Calls 5 come out?" Lance asks while turning on the stove with water to boil.

Caleb gasps. "Did it?"

Liam blinks. "Red Calls as in with Jimmy Tare?"

"Yes!"

"I didn't know the fifth movie was out!"

"We have to watch it!"

Then I have three sets of eyes staring at me with the most innocent, pleading expression.

"Can we watch it?" Caleb asks.

"Please?" Lance laces his fingers under his chin.

Liam looks hopeful too.

I groan. "That graphic one?"

They all nod.

I sigh. "Sure."

"Yay!" All of them rush to the couch while Caleb grabs the remote.

I turn back to the stove and pick up the pot of boiling water, pouring it into cups and letting the noodles sit for a while.

When they're done, I carry the cups to the living room and make the boys sit on the carpet because I don't trust them to not drop it on the couch, A.K.A. my bed.

I'm surprised to know how invested I get into the movie except for the jumpscares. Caleb and Lance are yelling while Liam clutches his cup tightly in his hands. He seems to loosen up a bit though and his shoulders are no longer raised high.

When the movie is done and the empty cups are thrown into the trash, Liam decides that it's time for him to head home.

Lance and I stay behind on the couch while Caleb walks him out to the elevator.

The moment they're gone, I feel a hand on my thigh.

"That wasn't too bad," Lance says.

I nod. "Yeah. Maybe next time we could meet him again somewhere outside?"

He smiles. "Caleb would love that."

At the mention of his name, he walks back into the house with a bounce to his step and the biggest dreamy smile ever. He shuts the door and falls against it like a lovesick teenage girl back in the medieval ages.

"Something happened?" Lance teases with a smirk.

Redness covers Caleb's cheeks as he grins, and leans his head against the door. "I am so in love."

"You're sixteen." I remind him.

"And you're heartless."

I narrow my eyes at him, despite the way my lips twitch in amusement at my brother's behaviour.

"Are you going to move from that door anytime soon?" I ask.

"What's your problem? I'll stay here for as long as I like." He turns around and tries hugging the door, plastering himself to the wood.

I shake my head with a chuckle.

"Well, he's fully whipped." Lance laughs.

"I thought I'd never see the day. So, is he your boyfriend now?" I ask.

"Soon." He turns around with an excited smile. "Then we might get married when we're nineteen and move to New York and adopt a pet butterfly."

"Woah, slow down there." I hold up my hands. "I'm not thinking about my own marriage and you went straight to adoption?"

"Why aren't you thinking about your marriage?" Lance asks.

I immediately shoot him a warning look. "If you stupidly propose to me right now then I'll kick you out of the apartment."

He looks offended. "I won't propose to you like this. I'm not uncultured."

"Can you guys stop thinking about yourselves and think about my marriage first?"

"You're not getting married, Caleb." I face-palm.

"Yeah, not right now, but in future. I'm going to propose to him with blue tulips and a ring made out of black gems because he loves black. Then I'm going to shower him with a million rose petals like Lance did, and then I'm going to get my own apartment and let him design it according to his wish, and maybe we might adopt a pet dog too, or a rabbit, or maybe both! We're going to paint our walls black and light blue and buy our very own coffee machine with a sandwich maker—"

Caleb continues ranting, skipping to the bathroom with the same dreamy smile. He's probably washing his face that's why he keeps the bathroom door open while continuing to list his entire future with Liam in perfect order.

My jaw is dropped open while Lance clutches his stomach, laughing so hard.

"There's no way." I gape.

"I thought I was crazy when I was obsessed with you. Clearly, I had to witness Caleb first before deciding that."

I swat his arm. "It's not funny! That kid has it down bad. He's talking about marriage and moving away! He doesn't even know if Liam is gay!"

"Relax. Liam is into him. Didn't you see the way both of them looked at each other?"

I place a hand on my forehead. "Caleb's gone crazy."

"Crazy in love apparently."

Caleb continues talking, his list including a trampoline, ducky slippers and bottles of nail polish.

I lean back against the couch with resignation, despite a smile on my lips. "What am I going to do with him?"

Lance settles himself beside me, grabbing my hand and pulling me close until I'm snuggled beside him.

"Guess you'll just have to see."

●・○・●・○・●

It's been a month since we had our first dinner with Liam. Even though it's clear that he's into Caleb, he still hasn't given in.

"He's just playing hard to get." Caleb bounces his leg, clutching a cup of coffee. Even though, he says it with determination, there's still a frown of doubt on his face. "He's going through something. He'll come around."

"He sure will. Don't you worry." Kaylee pats him on the head before returning to the counter where I'm making more coffee for her to serve.

She stands behind me with a pout. "This is so unfair. I'm triple more social than both you and Caleb combined. I see many more men than you both. Still, both of you ended up with a boyfriend and boyfriend-to-be before me."

"Maybe if you stop educating men on different sex positions, then you'll find one who isn't intimated by the impossible positions." I raise an eyebrow at her.

"They're not impossible!" She throws her hands up. "How many times do I have to keep telling you guys that? For example, the guy only needs to have his feet up in the air, while the girl is face down and both of their—"

"Kaylee!" I shush her. "Caleb's right there!"

"He needs to be educated too since he's going to have a boyfriend. Caleb, wanna hear about this position with maximum, electrifying—"

"Kaylee, I swear to God," I warn her.

"Oh fine." She huffs, before whispering to an eager Caleb. "We'll do this over text."

"I heard that." I glare.

When we finally get a little break, Kaylee and I sit across from each other on stools, sipping milkshakes to cool off.

"How's Caleb doing with therapy?" She asks me.

I nod. "So far I haven't heard any complaints."

He started going two weeks ago when I found one who wasn't asking for ridiculously high charges. It's fucking therapy. I don't know why we have to pay for something that benefits a person's mental state. Does our country not want mentally stable people in its country?

At first, Caleb hesitated a lot, so I had to go with him for the first week. After he started getting comfortable, he told me I didn't have to accompany him anymore. He kept asking me where I was getting the money to pay for it, and I told him to shut the fuck and focus on dumping his feelings on his therapist.

I mean, when you think about it, who really needs a Savings account? Even though the savings were for Caleb's college fees.

It's fine.

I'll just have to manage for a couple of years before things start looking easy again. I don't really care, to be honest. Not when my brother looks this happy and free.

Any wall I felt between us before completely vanished and I would pay any price to keep it this way.

I'm sipping my milkshake when Kaylee turns to look at me.

"You know how I told you that this cafe keeps getting successful?" She asks.

I nod. "Yeah, it's getting pretty famous."

"And you know how with every success, our profits keep increasing?"

I nod again.

"Do you know what happens when profits increase?"

"Greed then eventual corruption?"

"Sure, but that's not what I'm talking about right now. I'm saying, as our profits keep increasing, so does employee salary."

My eyebrows shoot up. "You're giving me a raise?"

"I was thinking about that." She presses her lips together to contain a smile. "I've always thought about giving you a raise, but that seemed very cheap to me. You and I run this place together, and I've never felt like we had the sort of relationship where I'm your employer and you're my employee."

"Where are you going with this?"

She takes my hand in hers, a grin spreading across her face. "Want to sign a partnership and share everything equally?"

My eyebrows jump. "What?"

She nods.

"But...but this Cafe is your hard work. You've gotten so much shit from your family to open this. You can't just give me half of it."

"Of course, I can. It's mine. I'll do whatever I want with it."

"But Kaylee..." My voice softens.

She gives me a determined smile and I know she's already thought about this before, that's why whatever I say won't change her mind.

My heart melts as I stare at her warm brown eyes and pink-highlighted braids. A few weeks back, after Caleb told me how much I hurt Kaylee by shutting her off, I went to her the next day to apologize.

She just batted me off and told me that everything was good.

I still felt guilty about it, but since that moment, I've never realized how close she actually is to me. I can always rely on her to support me and I've always been protective of her too. She might be my employer on paper, but she's my family in real life.   

"Don't laugh at me, but I want to hug you."

She laughs anyway, holding up her arms. "Come here, girl."  

Standing, she pulls me up and encases me in a deep hug. I let her soft arms hold me as I rest my head against her shoulder, gratitude nearly splintering my heart apart.

A sudden realization comes over that makes me gasp. I pull away from Kaylee's arms. "You aren't just doing this so I wouldn't feel guilty about you raising my salary because of the tight position I'm in after starting Caleb's therapy, right?"

She raises her eyebrows, her shoulders hunching. "What...therapy?"

I sigh, shaking my head. "Come here you." I hold my arms up for another hug.

Shock registers on her face, probably because I've never been the one to initiate hugs between us. It lasts only for a millisecond though before she jumps into my arms.

"Thank you." I squeeze her, smiling against her hair. "For everything."

●・○・●・○・●

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Ben asks me, sliding into the chair in front of me with a smug smirk.

I cross my arms against my chest, leaning back in my seat as I take in his obnoxious face and unpleasant eyes. To think I used to do anything to please this guy.

Theo made me fresh cheesy chicken fries that had been my beloved company until I waited for Ben to show up. Now with his face in front of me, I don't feel like eating anymore.

I would prefer to never see his face again but I know I can never move on from the past without making sure that all ties are severed. I purposefully chose to meet at the restaurant so that Ben wouldn't try anything funny like how he attempted to last time.

"We need to talk," I say, wiping my lips clean of the cheese sauce with a tissue.

"Sure." His smirk increases. "I wanna hear all about how you came to your senses and want me back."

I frown at him, making sure to give him my most effective "bitch, shut up" look.

I'm about to tell him that we need to wait for a while but before I can, the restaurant door opens and my aunt walks in.

Her wrinkly face is pulled into her usual distasteful look as she scours the area before her eyes land on me. Giving me a scowl, she walks in my direction. She glances at Ben, raising her eyebrows at him in question before taking a seat beside him.

"What do you want?" She asks, not even wasting a second.

I give her a humourless smile. "Your conversation skills are still to die for."

She scowls at me again.

"This is my last warning for both of you." I pick up my fork, twirling it between my fingers as I look between both of them. "If you ever come between me and Caleb ever again, you bet the next time I'll be seeing you guys is in jail."

Their eyebrows rise at my serious tone.

They glance at each other before Ben laughs. "Sure, Sweetheart. There's no way you're calling the cops on us."

I stare at the unserious expression on his face before gripping my fork. "Do you remember the time when Nathan from high school shoved Caleb? What did I do to him after?"

Ben's smile falters immediately. "You grabbed his head and smashed it on a rock."

I smile. "Exactly. When it comes to my brother, you fucking believe me when I say that I will do anything. So take my warning seriously."

He glares at me, unhappy. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?" I glare back.

He scoffs. "You think just because you got a boyfriend now, suddenly you're all high and mighty?"

I shrug. "Think whatever you want." I turn my focus on Aunt Bitch. "Same goes for you. Me and Caleb no longer live under you so don't you dare think that you have some sort of right over us."

"How ungrateful of you after all that I've done for you!" She puts a hand to her heart.

I raise an eyebrow, leaning back against my chair. "What did you do for me? All I had was your roof. Everything else, I had to beg you for it." I try to keep my cool. I really do not want to pick an argument with her. "Whatever. No need to delve into the past. Just stay away."

"What are you even going to go to the cops with?" Ben challenges.

A smirk lifts my lips. I was hoping he'd ask that. "I have footage from the CCTV cameras from the club where you sexually assaulted me. So if you don't want me to share that with the cops then go ahead and test me."

Xander came up with the idea. I don't actually have the footage but the idea is good enough to threaten with.

All amusement drains from his face and he glares at me. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"You're so pathetic, Banks." He jabs. "It's so easy to rile you up that it's funny."

I recognize this tone. He always used this tone to make me feel ridiculous about my feelings and have his way.

"You know," I thrum my fingers against the table. "You're the one who's actually pathetic. I'm slowly coming to realize that it's you who's actually really insecure. When I tried leaving you, your ego couldn't handle it so you went low enough to hit me. Who the fuck does that? Someone with a broken pride who can't handle rejection, that's who." I glare at him.

He opens his mouth but I hold up my hand.

"I'm not done speaking. You are so ridiculous that you went after weak-minded girls who stroked your ego to make you feel like a man. And once those girls realized their worth, you tried to beat them down again. You're so full of shit and you don't even realize it. Or maybe you do realize it but you think it's easier to be an asshole than to own up to your actions and ask for forgiveness."

Both of them remain silent, glaring at me but they know I'm right, so I'm glad they keep their mouths shut.

Giving them another humourless smile, I tilt my head. "That's all I wanted to tell you both. Have a nice day."

They don't move.

I raise an eyebrow. "What? Are you just going to sit there and stare at me?"

They share a look but their pride is too hurt to move. Before I can comment on it, a hand lands on both their shoulders as a dark shadow looms over their figures.

Both of them startle and look behind to see Xander standing with a glare on his face. "She asked you both to leave."

"Yup, she definitely did." Theo nods, carrying a tray of food to someone's table.

Wariness registers on Ben's face, probably because he remembers how Xander lifted him in the air by the neck with one arm. A gulp goes down his throat before he reluctantly pushes his chair away from the table, standing up.

Aunt looks wary too, probably because of Xander's tattoos and his muscles. She shrugs his hand off her shoulder before scoffing and standing up. Giving me one last look, she holds her chin high in the air, before turning around and marching off.

Ben stays for longer, staring at me with steel eyes. I flutter my fingers at him in a wave.

His jaw clenches, before he swipes his keys off the table and walks away.

The moment both of them are gone, a breath escapes my lips, and I sag against the chair.

"You did good, Imouto." Theo's hand comes on my head, ruffling my hair.

I never want to see those people ever again. The painful memories of the person I was with them are almost threatening to drown me again.

I admit it was actually a little bit easier to face them this time than last.

"Thanks."

"Let me reheat those for you while you call that fucker Lance and tell him that you're not dead. He keeps buzzing our telephone." Saying that, Theo takes away my cheesy fries leaving me to myself.

I pull out my phone to see a couple of texts and missed calls. I call him.

"Hey, how'd it go?" He asks.

I lean back against my chair. "Pretty well. It felt good to threaten him with the footage thing."

He chuckles, but then his tone gets serious again. "I wish I was there."

"It's okay. Your dad will seriously start to hate me for making you lose focus again."

"Yeah, he's been getting pretty annoyed. I still wanted to be there though. The thought of what that fucker did to you still gets me mad."

"Yeah, I know. Forget about him though. I'm going to finish my food and then head back to the Cafe. You're still coming for your Van Gogh coffee?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"Okay." I smile. "See you then."

"See you. I love you."

The phone is suddenly snatched from my hands.

"Awww Lancey-Pancey, I love you too. Muah. Muah. Muah. When are you getting home, babe?" Theo coos into the phone while sliding my reheated fries in front of me.

I laugh, as he continues blabbering, walking away with my phone.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

I wish I could've done something more for a closing scene but my brain is literally dead to this book ToT. Thank you guys for being patient and keeping with me this long! It's really appreciated <3

Words: 4,980

Date of publishing: 15th July 2024