| 28 |

~ Banks Woods ~

Monday is back in full swing and I'm as busy as ever with taking orders, making orders, and registering money for the orders. My fingers ache by how fast they work and my back is sweaty. Kaylee works like a machine too, constantly moving from one place to another.

By the time the clock hits noon, we're both equally exhausted and finally take our break when the customers reduce to two at a time.

"I hate Monday mornings." Kaylee groans, stretching out her legs in front of her.

"Tell me about it," I mutter, taking a sip of water in what feels like forever.

We sit idly for a few minutes, chatting and talking about random things. I always feel light after talking to Kaylee. She has this energy that you can't help but be drawn to. Under a minute, she's able to make me laugh, blush and flustered.

She suddenly grasps my hand, her tone turning serious when she looks at my face. "I'm serious though, Banks. I wouldn't have this place even half as successful if you weren't here."

The compliment catches me off guard. "Oh, um...I just work. I don't do anything much, really."

She shakes her head. "I've had people before you. None of them ever showed dedication. You treat this place as if it's your own and girl, you're amazing."

My cheeks warm and I look down. "Thank you."

"No, thank you. You know how much this place means to me. I've worked hard to open this cafe and I'm glad I found someone who doesn't treat it any less."

"Of course." My face softens.

The phone rings and I get up to check before Kaylee can.

I need a moment to take a breath after the sincere words Kaylee said. I'm still bad at accepting compliments but at least I said thank you this time, instead of simply flusterting away.

Picking up the receiver, I place it on my ear.

"Thank you for calling. How can I help you?"

"Hello, I would like to speak to Banks Woods."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Speaking."

"Oh, hello. This is Miss Mckinley speaking from Grand Ridge High School. Caleb's guardian, right?"

A sigh is already there on my lips before she can continue. I just know this isn't going to be good.

"Yup. This is her."

"Okay, good. The school wanted to inform you that Caleb wasn't present during any of the classes today."

Shock grips me. Caleb isn't at school? What the hell? Then where the fuck is he?

"Um, yeah, he got a fever, and I forgot to call in and inform the office. He's at home." I say, tightly.

"Oh, okay. That's good to know. I'll put him under sick leave." Although she sounds bright, a hint of suspiciousness lingers in her tone.

"That would be nice. Thank you."

"No problem. Have a good day." She hangs up.

I clutch the receiver tightly in my hands, a slight wave of panic simmering through my chest. Okay so, Caleb isn't at school. Meaning he's somewhere outside where I don't know about.

Taking in a deep breath, I put a hand to my forehead to try and calm myself down.

Okay, Banks. Think. Don't panic. Call him first.

I walk on shaky legs to my apron where my phone is. Kaylee blinks at me when she sees my face.

"Everything okay...?"

"I don't know." I fumble around with the apron, trying to find the pocket.

"Who called?"

"Caleb's school. They said he's not at school."

"Not at school? What do you mean?"

"I don't know!" My voice turns shaky and I suck in a breath to level myself. Finally finding my phone, I call his number.

The line rings but he doesn't pick up.

I call him three more times. He doesn't pick up.

"Fuck." I growl.

"Do you know where he might be?" Kaylee asks, concerned.

I think?

This isn't like Caleb to completely ditch school. Knowing him, he would never do that without telling me. If he's still the Caleb I know, then he'll probably still be around school, just hanging around but not having the guts to actually go anywhere else.

"I'm going to go look for him. Tell Lance I went to Caleb's school and there's nothing to worry about." Yet.

She nods, and I hurry out of the cafe with my head bent over my phone. I dial his number again and keep texting him. His phone is not switched off so it's probably just on silent.

Or maybe something happened to him and he's lying somewhere.

No. No. Don't think about that. He's fine. Caleb's all good. He's just reckless sometimes and forgets to check his phone.

Your only family and he's also going to leave you. Just like everybody else.

He's not. He's the only person who's not allowed to leave me. Ever. He knows that too. We stick together. Always.

What if something happens to him and he's gone?

He's not!

My pace quickens as I quickly try to reach Caleb's school. I practically run while trying to calm my nerves.

I round the corner of a street and realize too late that someone's in front of me. My body crashes into his and I quickly stumble back.

"Sorry." I move around him to continue.

Before I can make it two steps though, a hand closes on my arm, stopping me.

"Banks?"

My eyes widen as I recognize the voice. Oh please, not now. Anyone except for him.

Yanking my arm away, I turn around to glare at Ben.

He grins at me. "What a coincidence."

"Yeah, wow. Bye. See you never again." I turn around to leave but he stops me again. I snatch my arm away from him, snarling "Don't touch me."

"Woah. Easy there. No hard feelings." He keeps his shit grin on as if my boyfriend didn't fuck up his face two months back.

"What do you want?" I glare.

"I was coming to see you. See, what a coincidence."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Why the hell were you coming to see me?"

He grins widens, smugness oozing out of every pore. "Nevermind. I'm sure you were in a hurry. It's not that important."

Normally, I wouldn't take the bait and turn around and leave. But even though I hate to admit, Ben does know me in the slightest and he knows the only thing important to me is Caleb. So if he's dangling something over me, it's definitely something about him.

"What do you want?" I snap.

"Are you really going to be rude to someone who's going to help you?"

"Don't fuck with me," I warn.

He shrugs. "Alright. I'll tell you. Only because you look smoking hot when you look at me like that."

My hands curl into fists, but I force myself to listen to him first.

"Guess your Aunt was right and that Caleb would turn out like you."

"What do you mean?"

Ben's grin is back on. "Looks like someone didn't put a proper leash on the kid and now he's running wild and dabbling in cocaine."

My heart falls to the ground. "What?"

He nods. "I saw it with my very own eyes." He points two fingers to his eyes. "He was exchanging drugs with this other boy from his school. Both of them seemed high and were laughing like lunatics."

I don't believe this. Just because Ben appears out of nowhere and claims that he saw Caleb doesn't mean it's actually true.

He's a good kid. I know him. He wouldn't do something like that.

Then why did he skip school? Why does he secretly text someone and not tell you? Why did he run out of the house the other day? Why did he keep his new friend a secret?

All questions point to one answer, and it's the one that Ben produced. My mind can't conjure up anything else.

"Oh come on. Are you seriously shocked? We all saw it coming a mile ago. How did you expect Caleb to turn out with what a whore you were during high school?"

My fist rears back and slams into his face.

He yelps, clutching his nose.

"Don't talk about my brother like that." I glare. "Shut the fuck up and mind your goddamn business. I know how to handle my brother."

"Sure you do, you bitch." He grits, holding his nose. It's not bleeding like I hoped it would. "He's going to start with drugs first, then girls, later he's going to start stealing because you failed in trying to raise him all by yourself."

"Shut up!"

"Your aunt was right. You should've left Caleb to her and fucked off. You were never good for him. You're a failure and you'll always be one. If you don't accept it then fucking wake up! He's already deep in drugs and skipping school. He's going to become a failure just like you."

"Shut the fuck up!" I scream, terror seizing control over me.

My heart pounds a mile per second, threatening to tear out of my chest. It can't be. Caleb is not like that. Ben's lying. He's a fucking liar and he's lying.

"Deny it all you want. Everyone can see that you failed, Banks. Caleb is going to slip right through your fingers and there's nothing you can do about it. He might as well be already gone. You tried, but you failed. It's funny how you thought you could raise a child all by yourself with how pathetic, selfish, and bitchy you—"

I shove him by the shoulders.

He stumbles back only because he was caught off guard, then he bursts out laughing at my face.

"Look at you. Are you going to cry?" He mocks.

My heart hammers, thunderously. My legs feel heavy and weak. My head aches and at any moment it might split open. My eyes strain with the effort to keep the tears in.

Not now.

Come on, Banks.

You can do it.

I try to suck it all in. I try my hardest to rein it in.

Something cracks in my chest.

It's a tiny, lone, crack but it's enough to send a flood of emotions out and for everyone else to see. Tears well up in my eyes and before I know it, my breaths turn erratic. Ben's still standing in front of me, and without thinking, I turn around and flee.

His cruel laugh follows me and I desperately try to get out of his range. It's not true. None of what he said was true. I'm going to go see for myself.

Caleb's not like that. I'm not a failure. He's not going to slip through my fingers. It's all a big fucking lie that Ben is using to hurt me.

My legs carry me in a blur. I don't remember the run here, my mind being too consumed. All I know is that when I reach Caleb's school, my ears start ringing and my heart is beating erratically in my chest.

Looking around, I don't see him anywhere. Rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans, I pull out my phone and call him again while deciding to check at the back.

He doesn't pick up and a short frantic breath escapes my lips.

Circling his school, anxiousness swells my chest when I don't find him. I'm about to break down into a frustrated cry when finally, finally, I spot him. At first, it's hard to make him out, but then I remembered the brown hoodie he put on this morning. He's sitting on a bench, halfway hidden by a wall.

I pause when I notice someone else. He's not alone.

It's the same kid with the orange beanie and his baggy clothes. Both of them sit beside each other, but they're not talking. They're simply sitting there and looking at the sky.

My first reaction to seeing Caleb is releasing a huge sigh of relief, my knees almost weakening with the gesture. But then as a few seconds pass, my blood runs hot and suddenly all I see is red.

Without giving it another thought, I march towards him.

"Caleb!"

Both the boys jump at my voice. Caleb turns to look at me and immediate panic floods his face. He jerks up from the bench and it's unmistakable how he stands in front of the other kid as if shielding him from me.

Regret and fright fill Caleb's face as he opens his mouth. "Banks, I—"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I yell. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"How did you find out?"

"How did I find out? The fucking nerve of you! The school called and told me you haven't attended any class today. What's this about? You're skipping school? For what?" My gaze flicks to the kid who's staring at me with wide eyes. "And who the fuck are you?"

"Banks." Caleb immediately says, as if shushing me. He looks back at the kid, his tone much softer. "Go. I'll see you later."

"See him later? Who even is he?"

"Go." Caleb urges.

The kid looks torn but takes one look at my face before hurrying up and leaving.

"Caleb," I warn.

He sighs, facing me again. "Let's go home and talk about this."

"Are you kidding me? No. I want to know what's going on right now."

"Banks, please."

"Don't you dare—

"Banks, listen to me—"

"No! You listen to me!" I snap, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Secretly texting someone. Running out of the house. Skipping school. Are you taking drugs?"

"What?" He looks confused, then shakes his head. "No. I can explain."

"Then do explain. I swear to God if I find out that you're taking drugs, I'm not kidding, I'm going to fucking strangle you."

A look of irritation crosses his face that takes me off-guard. My brother never shows me annoyance whenever I'm angry at him. I know it's a cruel thing to say but whenever I'm angry, he just takes it instead of opposing me.

"I'm not taking drugs" He grits out.

"Were you exchanging spit with the kid then? You're clearly hiding something. If it's not drugs then what is it?"

He takes in a deep breath. "Just, please. Let's go home, I'll tell you everything."

Saying that he walks past me, a glum-looking expression on his face as if he's going to be slaughtered. I don't like the grave look on his face. It makes me mad. It makes me feel cruel as if he thinks I'm actually going to hurt him.

I open my mouth to yell at him, but instead, my voice comes out choked and shaky. "Why are you doing this? I tried to do everything for you. I tried giving you everything. Why are you doing this?"

He whirls around and snaps. "Can you just listen to me once in your life?"

"Don't you dare fucking yell at me—"

"I have to! There's no other way to make you listen. You always go on and on about yourself and never give me a chance to explain myself."

"What are you talking about? Of course, I do—"

"No! You don't. You don't, okay? Every time I come to tell you something, you remind me exactly why I can't."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

He opens his mouth, then changes his mind and thrusts his hands deep into his hair.

"Fuck!" He growls in frustration. "It's so fucking hard to talk to you."

"Why?"

"You're always too deep inside your head that you forget that other people have feelings too."

"I don't do that." I defend.

"Yes, you do. You cut every single one of us off when you broke up with Ben. You hurt Kaylee so many times, and she never tells you anything because she knows you're hurting."

My anger simmers down to confusion. "What...what do you mean?"

He cuts his hand in the air. "After your breakup, you became a stone. A literal fucking stone. I couldn't talk to you without feeling as if I'm talking to a dead body!"

I inhale sharply. "Caleb—"

"No, you listen to me!" He yells. "I'm sick and tired of this. You think I want to keep hiding this from you? You think it's easy for me to live a different life just so I don't fucking upset you? You think it's easy?"

My mouth parts when Caleb's voice cracks at the last part. He looks frustrated, angry, fed-up and...hurt.

"What's going on?" I demand.

He stares at me for a beat, as if contemplating something. His chest rises with how angry he is. I'm about to open my mouth when he suddenly growls.

"Oh fuck this." He grabs the hem of his hoodie. Before I can question what he's doing, he pulls it over his head and bares his torso to me. At first, I don't realize what I'm seeing, but when I do...no.

No.

No.

No. This can't be...

My vision turns blurry and my head starts swimming.

"No...Caleb. What did you do...?" My voice turns haunted, barely rising above a whisper. My legs move towards him but my knees are too weak. My throat starts closing up and pressure builds behind my eyes.

What I'm seeing is unmistakable. Even if I try to deny it or picture it as something else, there's no mistaking what I'm seeing. When I reach my Caleb, my body is shaking so terribly that I'm scared I might collapse to the ground.

My eyes take in the multiple scars and burns on his chest and stomach. There are a few that are old and healed, and there are a few that look recent and new. I can't stop staring at them.

When did he do this to himself? Why did he do this? Where was I when my brother was harming himself?

My chest feels too tight. I can't breathe. I want to touch those scars to see if they're real but I'm terrified to move any further.

I can't move. It's like someone plunged my body into ice water and then slammed my head into a wall.

"Caleb..." My voice is choked, tormented. "Why?"

His face remains the same, tight and angry but unshed tears cling to his lashes.

"I tried telling you." He says in a low voice. "I really tried. But you were not in a good place to have these kinds of conversations, and I had no choice but to...."

I can't breathe. He couldn't talk to me? My brother was hurting himself and he couldn't tell me? What...what kind of a person am I?

"Why?" I ask again.

He clenches his jaw as if to root himself. "I don't know why. I really don't. All I know is that it makes me feel better. It gives me a moment of relief. Maybe it's because of Mom and Dad's death. Maybe it's because I feel so fucking lonely all the time. Maybe because I feel so pathetic day and night and useless enough to want to end myself."

My head swims further, desperately wanting to escape this scene. I want to turn back time and forget this ever happened. I want to rewind my whole life and catch onto the moments where I went I wrong.

I wasn't enough.

Ben was right.

Everybody was right.

I'm not enough for Caleb.

Of course, I'm not. I'm just his older sister. He needs parents. He needs attention and affection that I couldn't give him. How could I have been so stupid?

Someone's breathing too harshly. Too loudly. The sky starts spinning and the ground seems to be sinking. My chest feels tight and my clothes stick to my skin, suffocating me.

"Banks?"

Caleb's voice sounds far away as if he's standing continents apart. I don't know what expression he sees on my face, because suddenly, alarm and confusion flash in his eyes. His hands come on my shoulders, grasping me tightly.

"Banks. It's okay. You're okay. Breathe."

Breathe? Why the fuck is he telling me to breathe? Why is it suddenly so hot in here? The heat makes my head hurt. The ground continues swaying beneath me and someone pushes me from behind. I tip forward.

Caleb swears loudly, his arms coming around me. He yells my name and right after that, the world goes black.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Hope you guys are well and taking care of yourselves <3

Words: 3,400

Date of publishing: 8th July 2024