| 26 |

~ Banks Woods ~

I've never stepped foot into Lance's office after that incident ever again. It's been weeks and while Lance constantly tells me that his dad was merely amused and not mad, I still don't take the risk.

It was embarrassing as fuck the first time as it is.

That still doesn't stop him from sending me the flirtiest texts while we work. Often, I ignore it because then I won't stop thinking how good he feels inside me and how throaty his voice gets when he whispers things in my ear.

His texts go from the most innocent to the most crude within seconds.

Lance: I miss you. I wish the time would go faster so I can come see you again

Lance: Do you think we can have sex within two minutes?

Lance: Probably not. I want to slide my hands over every inch of you and play with those tits while you're moaning my name. That won't be happening in under two minutes, would it?

Lance: Unless you want to come by again and give me another "coffee" ;)

Me: I'll shove it up your ass if you bring it up again

Lance: Kinky

Me: Don't you have work to do?

Lance: I try finishing everything as soon as possible so I can text you.

Lance: This whole thing is so stressful. I finish one task before another one pops up

Me: Not easy being a future CEO?

Lance: It's thrilling but it has its boring moments sometimes. What about you? How's it going?

Me: Still hate my job

Lance: Why don't you find something you actually like doing?

Me: Would it be weird to say that I don't specifically like doing anything?

Lance: It's not weird because that's not true. You do have something you like doing but you're too busy to pay it any attention. That's why you've forgotten about it. I know it's too much to ask, but try finding out what gives you life. Trust me, it makes life much better.

Me: I'll see...

I have no idea what gives me life. I love drawing but the thought about sitting and spending time on it gives me dread. What if I'm so terrible at it now that I lost the one ability I had that I was good at? I still have all my sketches from when I was young but I've completely forgotten about it.

I think over Lance's text while stirring pasta on the gas stove. I'm trying to cook a huge meal tonight to repay Castle, Theo, Xander and Lance for taking care of me when I was sick. I have two hours and so far nothing looks good.

Caleb's on the couch watching TV, while occasionally coming into the kitchen to be my taste tester.

"Here. Taste the sauce again. I fixed it." I call him over.

He gets up with a groan and walks into the kitchen. Taking the spoon from my hand, he tastes the sauce.

A grimace comes on his face. "This tastes even worse."

"Hey!"

"Are you even trying?"

"You little shit—"

"Let me." He cuts me off before he bumps his hips into me to nudge me aside.

"What are you doing?" I exclaim as he starts putting in a series of random sauces and spices, before squeezing a bit of lemon. He lifts the spoon to his mouth and smacks his lips then nods in approval.

"This tastes much better. Here, try it."

I take the spoon from him and give him a suspicious look. My face morphs into surprise when the rich, creamy, sweet and sour taste fills my tongue.

"How did you..." I trail off, in disbelief at how good this is.

He lifts a shoulder. "I watched Castle cook once. He looked pretty cool with the knives. He went all dah-dah-dah-dah-dah like a machine and minced five onions under thirty seconds."

Every talent of his guy comes from watching other people.

"Thanks, I guess," I mumble as I carry the sauce to the drained pasta.

"No problemo." He walks back to the couch and flops down it.

"Hey, Caleb?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I would make a good teacher?"

He furrows his eyebrows as if I've asked the most inappropriate question ever. "You? A teacher? Did you bonk your head somewhere?"

I glare at him. "I'm trying to figure out what more could I do instead of working at Kaylee's."

"Why? What's wrong with the coffee shop?"

"Nothing. Just wondering."

He tilts his head in thought.

"Therapist?" I suggest.

"Banks, you're the one who needs therapy."

"Shut up, jackass."

We think together in silence before Caleb opens his mouth.

"I think you're fine with Kaylee. It suits you. You're good at it too."

"At making coffee?"

"Yeah, but there's also the fact that you handle customers well. Especially the rude ones. Kaylee's good at that too but it's funny when you do it. Then there's also the fact that you manage everything at once; taking orders, giving out orders, communicating, cleaning, fixing. Sometimes when I watch you, it feels like you're doing everything so fast and you don't even break a sweat. Not gonna lie, sometimes it seems as if you own the cafe rather than Kaylee."

I blink. "Really?"

He nods. "The place suits you. I know you hate it but I can't see you working anywhere else."

I tilt my head, and just because I don't want the idiot to know that I'm happy by his words, I tease, "Handing out free compliments?"

He rolls his eyes, then looks back at the TV.

I'm done making the pasta, and soon have everything set out on the table. It's not much but hopefully, it's not bad. I think it needs a little bit of pepper.

I grab the black pepper from the kitchen and sprinkle some of it directly from the packet, when suddenly Caleb jumps from the couch, startling me. While I'm caught off guard, I don't realize that I've accidentally tipped the packet and sent a huge dump of black pepper onto the pasta.

"Caleb!" I half-gasp, half-scold.

He doesn't pay me any attention though. My anger gets replaced by confusion as he rushes towards the door with a worried look on his face.

"What are you doing?"

"I have to go." He hops while trying to get his shoes on. My fingers freeze when I see the most panicked look on his face. 

"Wait. Wait. Go where? Why are you rushing?" I set the packet aside to walk towards him, but he's already yanking open the door and running out.

"Caleb!" I yell after him. Dashing to catch up with him, I yelp when I'm suddenly yanked back.

Looking down, I curse when I see my sleeve stuck on the door handle. Pulling it free, I look up to see the elevator doors closing, taking Caleb along with it.

"Fuck." I curse again before running back into the house to find my phone. Then I'm running out the door too, dialling Caleb's number and texting him at the same time.

Once I'm outside, I try to spot him but realize that I'm unable to. The chill air nips at my skin and I bite back a harsh sound as I continue calling Caleb.

Where the fuck did that idiot go?

He was on his phone texting someone before running off like the world was ending. Who gave him the permission to walk out of the house? I thought I was strict enough that Caleb wouldn't dare go anywhere without telling me. I thought he was scared enough of Ben to not go out alone without me.

Worry swirls in my head and I resort to screaming his name. I take off in a direction, not knowing whether I'm right or wrong. I furiously dial his number, but it goes straight to voicemail.

Everywhere I look, I can only see other random people and cars but no sign of my brother. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Where did he go?

I'm about to call him once again when my screen switches. It's a phone call from Lance. I swipe to answer.

"Hello?" I say as I run into an alley, looking around for any signs of a brown-haired boy. 

"Banks. Hey. We're here. Why aren't you opening the door?"

"Because I'm not at home."

"Not at home...? Were we having dinner outside? I thought you said you were cooking."

"I did cook. It's Caleb. He ran out of the house, and now I can't find him."

"Why did he run out?"

"I don't fucking know! I'm losing my mind! I can't find him anywhere and he's not picking up!"

"Okay, okay, relax. We'll find him. Do you have any clue—"

"None!" I cut him off, getting paranoid. My lungs are begging for oxygen but I can't stop running. The fear of something happening to him keeps me going.

"We'll try and look for him." Saying that, he cuts the call and I go back to dialling Caleb's number.

Minutes pass by but he never answers. I try looking for him everywhere while tearing my throat apart to call out his name. While searching, I even collide with Lance who tries calming me down the moment he sees me but fails when my breaths turn panicky instead.

Around forty minutes later, my phone buzzes and when I look at the screen, my heart nearly bursts when I see Caleb's name.

I yank the phone to my ear. "Where the hell are you!"

There's silence for a while before he speaks in a quiet voice. "I'm coming back home. It was nothing. False alarm."

"False alarm? You dumbass! I nearly lost my mind! You better have a good reason when I get back home or I'm tearing your head off! You better talk or else I'm putting you in the labor camp where you'll spend the rest of your life!" I don't care that people around are staring as I shout or that Lance starts glaring at people who are giving me weird looks.

"What happened?" The latter asks once I end the call.

"I don't know yet." I glare. "But I'll soon find out."

●・○・●・○・●

Turns out, I can't find out because the prick locked himself inside his room.

My fists are bruised by how much I've banged on the door and yelled at him to open it.

He gave me only one short reply. "We'll talk when you're calm."

The audacity of this kid!

First, he has the balls to run out of the house without telling me, and now he's locked himself inside his room! What the fuck is going on?

"I do everything for you. Everything! I've never asked for a single fucking thing in return. Never. Except for us being honest and sticking together! Why the fuck are you doing this to me? Huh? Why the fuck are you shutting me out after everything we've been through?"

Silence greets me.

"Caleb!" I yell one more time.

When he doesn't respond, I growl out loud, pulling my hair from the roots and giving the door a good kick that has my toes throbbing.

"Fine! Stay in there, you fucking backstabber! Don't talk to me ever again!" I huff then whirl around to walk away.

I stop when I see four pairs of eyes watching me.

Right.

They're still here.

I exhale deeply, cooling some of my temper, though not all of it.

Lance, Castle, Theo and Xander sit at the dining table, quietly eating the pasta I made.

Although, why do they look so red in the face? Maybe it's because of the awkwardness. No one would want to sit and eat when there's an episode of colourful threatening going on against silence from the other person.

Running my hands through my hair, I clear my throat and walk over to the empty spot on the table.

I try pretending as if I wasn't screaming my lungs off a few seconds ago, but the wary looks everyone gives me tells me I'm not doing a good job.

"Forget you ever heard that."

"Forget it?" Theo whispers in a haunted voice. "I nearly pissed my pants. No wonder Caleb locked himself in. You're scary."

I narrow my eyes. "That was just the beginning of it."

Feeling the anger pulsing in my temples again, I force myself to blow out a breath and calm down. Forget about him for now. Just pretend to be a good host and have dinner.

I pick up my fork and dig into my pasta. Bringing it to my mouth, I take a bite. Then nearly spit the whole thing out.

What the—

"Why the hell didn't you guys tell me that it has too much black pepper?" I shriek, before reaching for a glass of water and gulping down the entire thing in one go.

They give me a wide-eyed look as if I'm supposed to know the answer.

After a few seconds, it dawns on its own.

Oh.

So that's why their faces were red. Did I scare them so badly? I wasn't even yelling that much. I threatened Caleb a little bit but it was normal threatening. I didn't even get to the slightly above-than-normal threat.

Sighing, I slump in my seat and let out a huge groan.

This night is not going how it was supposed to.

●・○・●・○・●

The next morning when I woke up, Caleb had already left for school.

I marched into his room, already yelling, but found it empty. Picking up my phone I see a text from him telling me that he's already at school and that he thinks I'm still not calm enough for a conversation.

I nearly crushed my phone in my hands.

I fume as I get ready for the day. I fume as I walk to the cafe. I fume as I prepare to open the doors. I fume as I answer customers. I fume even more when a group of teenagers take centuries to decide what they want to drink because they're too busy searching for what fucking Emily drank two months ago.

I'm still giving out smoke from my ears when Kaylee slowly approaches me as I'm making coffee.

"Banks." She places a hand on my arm. "I'm not quite sure...but I think you're mad."

"I'm not mad."

"You are."

"I'm not."

"You're drawing upside-down smiling faces on everyone's coffee cups. It's concerning."

I huff out a breath. "Fine. I guess I'm mad."

She gives me an 'Oh really?' look before perching herself against the counter beside me. Her braids have teal highlights today, matching her short almond-shaped nails.

"Talk to me."

Three words from her and I tell her everything. About how Caleb's running from me and avoiding me. She listens quietly until I'm done ranting, then pulls her brows into a sympathetic frown.

"Banks, honey." She says slowly as if afraid of erupting a volcano. Me. I'm the volcano.

"What?"

"I know you're concerned about Caleb and want the best for him. But don't you think he might feel as though you're...being too pushy?"

I furrow my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

She lifts a shoulder. "Maybe Caleb needs space. He's a teenage boy and those kids are always dramatic about their personal space. Maybe he wants to keep secrets that he's not comfortable sharing with you."

I blink. "But...but it's us. We're different. I mean, it's always been us since we were children. Why would he not feel comfortable around me?"

"It's just a teenage thing, Banks. They always feel like they have to keep secrets from adults because we just don't get them and we're ruining their lives."

I frown as a terrible realization hits me. I let go of the creamer I've been holding onto the counter. "You think I'm...ruining Caleb's life?"

Her eyebrows jump before she quickly shakes her head. "No. No. That's not what I meant."

"You think Caleb feels suffocated with me?"

"That's not what I meant, Banks."

"Then what?"

"I feel like you should give him some space. We had this conversation before. Let him have his secrets. It's not harming anyone."   

"He literally ran out the door as if someone was dying. I want to know what's going on, Kaylee. He could've gotten hurt or got into an accident. You know how careless he is. He's the only person I have in this world and if something happens to him, I'll never forgive myself. Don't you under—"

"I know. I know. But he's also not a child anymore." Her words feel like a rock to the face. She notices my expression and winces as she continues. "Maybe let him be on his own feet instead of you holding his hands all the time."

"But—but he doesn't know—"

"How would you know if you don't let him try?"

I fall silent.

"Am I allowed to touch you?"

"The shoulder."

Kaylee places a hand on my shoulder. "My suggestion is to be a little less restricting. Don't make him feel as if he can't tell you anything. Let him keep his secrets. He'll tell you in his own time."

But I want to know what's going on. I want to fix whatever it was that had him panicked. If I can't do that much for him, then I'm clearly failing.

But if Caleb doesn't want to talk to me then does that mean I was already failing from the start?

Am I losing him already?

●・○・●・○・●

Lance reminds me once again about why I'm falling for him when I get into his car and he holds out a cup towards me saying, "I remember you said you loved chocolate milk so I got you one."

I waste no second in taking the cup from him and taking a huge sip. My shoulders visibly slump as the cool chocolatey drink flows down my throat, relieving the tension in my body. 

When I open my eyes, I catch Lance staring at me with a small smile. I blush, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Sorry about that. Today was too stressful. Thank you for the drink."

His brows raise. "You said sorry and thank you in under ten seconds. You really are stressed."

"Shut up." I chuckle, taking another sip.

Lance hasn't started driving yet. He said he'd drop me off at my apartment. Caleb already texted me saying that he was there and that he was going to sleep early.

Instead of starting the car, Lance turns his body to the side, giving me his full attention. "Is something wrong?"

My forehead immediately creases and I'm sure I'm going to sprout wrinkles within the next week.

"It's Caleb. He hasn't spoken to me." I say, grumpily, before taking another sip.

"Oh," Lance says, then rubs the back of his neck. "Maybe you should give him some space—"

"Not you too." I groan, squeezing my eyes shut. "Do you really think I'm caging Caleb?"

"I wouldn't say you're caging him. I'd say you expect too much from him."

My eyes snap open. "I don't expect anything from him."

"You don't expect him to remain by your side forever? You don't expect him to be closer to you than anyone else?"

"I..." I pause. "I guess I do..."

"No offence, Banks, but maybe Caleb doesn't see your relationship the way you do. Maybe, while you're worried about keeping him safe all the time, he wants to go out there."

I sigh, dropping my head back onto the headrest. "It's hard. The thought of letting him go. He's all I have."

"That's not true."

Lance's words snap my eyes back to him.

"I guess this is an old habit of yours. You're putting a cage on all aspects of your life. You're not alone, Banks. You have Kaylee who's your best friend. You have me. If you let yourself free, you'll have more."

I stare at him, my mind going blank.

Did I put too many cages on myself?

Am I pulling Caleb with me into those cages too?

As if sensing my worried thoughts, a hand slips into mine, fingers intervening. I look at Lance and he gives me an earnest look.

"Caleb's fine. He'll not leave you. He never will. Trust me. He's going to come to you one day and appreciate all the things you've done for him."

Suddenly, Lance's expression changes. His eyes turn down, and his smile disappears. The saddest look appears on his face but he quickly covers it up. He blinks and suddenly it's gone.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He pauses, then shakes his head. "Nothing."

"Hey." I give him a warning look. "No hiding, remember?"

He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

He looks down at our intervened hands. His thumb traces a pattern on my skin. For a long moment, he doesn't say anything. His Adam's apple wobbles and my brows slightly raise.

"I miss Olive." He says, quietly. 

Those three words hold so much emotion and pain that it breaks my heart. My fingers tighten around his and I peer at his face to make sure he's okay.

He doesn't seem okay though when a sheen covers his eyes.

"Hey," I say, slowly. My brain scrambles for something comforting, but I'm shit with words so I stop. Instead, I abandon my cup of chocolate milk and put my other hand on top of our intervened ones. "Are you okay?" 

He gives a single nod. "I am. It gets hard sometimes. Sometimes, I remember her and I smile. But sometimes, I remember her and it sends this sharp pain through my chest."

"Is your chest hurting now?"

He nods.

"Oh. Um..." Maybe I should've really gone to therapy. Then I would've known the right words to say to him. Shit. I'm so terrible. Lance always comforts me when I'm down and now I can't even come up with a few words?

Whatever. Fuck therapy. I don't need it to comfort someone. I can make him feel better.

"How bad is the chest pain?"

"Very."

"Oh. That...can't be fixed with medicine right?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

He exhales and I'm not sure if it was in amusement or annoyance since he's still looking down. "I'm sure."

"Oh." I scratch my head. I'm still thinking and wracking my head for things to say when suddenly his shoulders start shaking. For a moment, I think he's crying and panic flares in my chest. Then I notice the way the corners of his lips are stretched up.

I stare at him, confused. "Are you...okay? Why are you laughing? Is the chest pain still there?"

He laughs harder, squeezing his eyes shut.

"What? Why are you laughing? I'm really confused."

He shakes his head, bringing our hands closer to his chest and hugging it. 

"It's cute to see you torture yourself to say something when you don't know what."

I groan, wanting to hide myself. "I'm terrible. I have no idea what to say."

"I know. I'm glad you tried. You think after knowing you for this long, I'd expect some sweet comforting words from your mouth?"

"You should though. You're always comforting me. What good am I if I can't do the same when you need it?"

"You are comforting me, Banks. You do it so well."

"How?"

"By just being here." He tightens his hold on my hand, squeezing it closer to his heart. "You remind me so much of Olive that when I met you, my chest didn't hurt as much."

My mouth parts open, aghast. "You see me as your older sister?" 

"No. I meant..." His eyes turn sombre, staring deep into my soul. "When I lost Olive, it felt as if half my life disappeared right in front of me. We were best friends—mostly when she wasn't annoyed at me. Losing her took a great toll on me. For almost a year, I couldn't get my shit together. I had to take pills for depression and to help me sleep. I would get drunk every week until I passed out."

I can't imagine Lance like that. He's always so radiant and bright. The words depression and him in the same sentence feel like a lie.

"I did get better. After meeting Theo, Castle and Xander. I stumbled into their restaurant one late night and since then it's like a tradition for me to go to their place every night. They made life so much better." A distant smile appears on his face as if he's remembering something.

"The empty feeling never left though. I still felt as if a huge part of my life was worthless. It was as if life was on hold and I had no clue on how to move forward."

"And now?"

A soft smile spreads across his face. He stares at me deeply as if the answer to my question is in my eyes. His head tilts and his words send a shiver up my spine.

"It feels so wonderful."

"Why?" I whisper.

"Because someone punched my nose, and suddenly everything came rushing back to me."

My breaths falter at the intensity of his gaze. I want to deny him and claim that he's just saying that but deep down, I want his words to be true. I want it to be true because it's the same for me. Since he came into my life, it doesn't seem so dull and sad anymore.

He taught me to live too. He's the one who showed me the good things in life while I obsessed over the bad.

The realization that we both felt the same about each other ignites something in my chest. Suddenly the distance from him seems too much. We're not touching each other enough. I need him close because nothing else seems right at this moment.

Like expected, Lance reads my thoughts, because he's leaning forward. I do the same.

Our lips meet and my heart bursts as he brushes his mouth against mine. We kiss tenderly and softly as if caressing each other. His hand slips into my hair, holding my head in place as he slips his tongue between my lips.

My hand is still against his heart and I can feel the relaxed, calm beats of it. Exactly like mine. The world melts away to nothing except for him. Everything feels right. Like this is exactly how it's supposed to happen.

For the first time, everything seems perfect. Problems are waiting for me in the future but none of that matters at this moment. He's right. I'm not alone. I have him. In a way, he has me too.

The kiss goes on for too long but it doesn't seem enough. I want more of him, and God, I need him. I was stupid for trying so hard to not get attached. I'm not only attached to him, but I'm obsessed. I'm consumed, awed, fixated and I've never felt as good as I have before.

The beat of his heart takes a jump, and suddenly his lips against mine harden. His tongue strokes mine, consuming me, devouring me. My head swims but I kiss him back just as hard. His hand slips down to my waist and he wraps his arm around me before lifting me.

My lips falter in surprise but he doesn't stop. He settles me on his lap, and it's a bit uncomfortable but the feeling melts away when he wraps his arms around me and tugs me impossibly closer to him. My arms slide around his neck and I kiss him like I can't have enough of him.

"Tell me you're thinking the exact thing I am." He whispers against my mouth, breathless.

"I don't know. I can't read your mind."

He chuckles, then nips at my bottom lip, before swiping his tongue against the spot.

"The thought of you gets me crazy, Banks. I can't imagine life without you anymore."

"I can't either," I whisper, scared by how true that is.

He stares at me, tucking the side of my hair behind my ear. He barely blinks as he takes in my face. An emotion—something fierce and protective—flares in his eyes and he hugs me closer to him.

"Everything feels right when you're here. You make my life so much brighter and lively. God—I've fallen so deeply for you. Sometimes I feel like I'm still falling but then one look into your eyes and suddenly I'm rooted." He nuzzles his head into the crook of my neck as if the words he's saying aren't making my heart explode.

My throat gets clogged and I try blinking back the tears that appear in my eyes. I clear my throat, knowing I have to say something back. "I'm...I'm too. It was lonely before, but now it isn't. Because I realize I have Kaylee—and you of course. You're the one who made me realize it. Or else I would've continued thinking I was lonely and I would've been stressed and angry all the time—but again, I'm not. Because of you. Not that I don't get angry. I'm still angry because of Caleb but it's—I'm less angry. I'm less stressed too. Did I mention it was because of you?"

He chuckles. "I don't think so. Say it one more time."

I scowl. "You know it's hard for me to say cheesy things."

He squeezes my chin between his fingers. "That's why it's adorable when you try."

I push his shoulder, rolling my eyes to hide the fact that I'm blushing. "Don't call me adorable."

"Why not?"

"It's...cheesy."

"I love cheesy."

"It's cringe."

"No, it's not."

"It is."

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm not."

"Your face is red."

"It's hot in here."

"Because I'm here?"

"Yeah—what? No! I mean maybe—no. Stop confusing me!"

He laughs, while I cross my arms and glare at him.

"Is your chest still hurting?" I ask him, concerned.

He shakes his head, a smile on his lips. "It's busy feeling something else."

"Feeling what?"

He takes my hand and flattens it against his heart. "I think you know."

For the second time, I forget how to speak.

My brain stops functioning and I know I'm going to say something stupid that will totally make me seem like a fool, so instead I blurt.

"We should get going."

"I don't want to."

"You want to remain in the car forever?"

"With you, yes."

"What if you have to pee?"

"I will not."

"You will not pee?"

"No."

"You'll have to someday."

"It can wait."

"Yeah, until you get kidney stones and die."

He laughs, making me smile along with him.

Then I'm clambering back into my seat and picking up my abandoned cup of chocolate milk.

The mood in the car is so good. Lance plays music and makes me laugh so hard while he sings along to every song in funny voices. I don't particularly listen to any song, so I have no clue what the lyrics are when Lance asks me to join him. He somehow knows every song and isn't shy to prove his skills.

We somehow avoid getting into an accident with Lance dancing in his seat and randomly leaning in to kiss my lips. He asks for a sip of my chocolate milk and I shout when his one sip empties almost half the cup.

When we reach my apartment, I take fifteen more minutes to get out of the car because I'm on his lap again, raking my fingers through his hair while our tongues swirl against each other's.

I'm smiling and brimming with happiness when I stumble out of the elevator. I'm literally humming as I insert my keys and turn the lock. Stepping inside, I halt when I spot a single light open in the kitchen, and a lonely Caleb sitting on top of the counter with a bowl of cereal in his hands.

He freezes at the sight of me.

I raise an eyebrow, as I kick the door shut and lock it.

"I thought you'd be asleep," I say.

"I got hungry." He says, still frozen.

I nod, as I take off my jacket and hang it on the door. Then I move towards the couch and flop face-down into the cushion.

"Don't forget to turn off the light," I mumble as a wave of sleepiness comes over me.

There's silence for a while.

Scratch that. It stretches on. And on. And on.

Until I hear the sound of footsteps approaching me.

I look up as Caleb appears in my sight. My neck hurts by how much I have to crane it. God, when did he grow so tall?

I take in his messy, wavy brown hair that falls on his forehead. His shoulders are wider and his chest seems a little puffed out. He did say he started working out but has it been so long already that his body is changing? My heart softens and saddens when I realize how grown up he looks. His cheekbones and jaw are sharper and his eyes look mature.

Where is my little brother?

How did he grow up so fast?

He was supposed to be eight years old.

His eyes are hesitant and expectant as he stares at me. He opens his mouth but closes it again, looking confused.

Then he bunches the sides of his sweatpants into his fists. "Uh...how was your day?"

My brow slowly rises. "Good."

He nods. "That's good. That's nice." He swallows when silence stretches between us again. I hate that it's awkward, and he must feel like that too because he asks. "Uh, why was it good?"

A small smile comes on my face. I sit up and the urge to attack him with questions comes over but I let it all slide away. Instead, I pat the spot beside me and Caleb hesitates.

He swallows and the sight makes me feel horrible about myself. Am I that scary that my own brother is reluctant to sit beside me?

He sits and I want to wrap my arms around him and apologize but that will result in either two things; death due to cringiness, or a traumatized brother.

Instead, I clear my throat. "How was your day?"

"Good."

"Why was it good?"

He shrugs. "It actually felt pretty normal."

"Same."

We sit beside each other in silence, staring at the wall.

Then he clears his throat, looking down at his lap. "I'm sorry."

"I'm glad."

His lips twitch up for a brief second.

"I really am sorry."

"Good, because then I would've been really mad at you."

"Aren't you already?"

I tilt my head, thinking. "I was. Not anymore."

"Why not?"

I shrug. "Don't feel like it."

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "So you're not going to yell at me and pull my ear?"

"You want me to?"

"Uh, kinda? It feels weird to not have you screaming. Why are you so calm?"

"I can still pull your ear if you want."

He nods eagerly then holds the side of his head out to me. I grab his ear and give it a yank. He yelps and then jerks away from me.

"Feeling better?" I ask.

"Yeah." He nods while rubbing his ear.

I stare at his face and my insides soften again. I can't stop realizing how old he is.

"It's pretty late. We should go to sleep." I say.

He pauses. "That's it?"

"What?"

"Seriously? Are you not going to do more? I thought we'd be screaming at each other right now."

"Not in the mood. Just..." I sigh. "Go. Live your life, or whatever. Tell me if anything's bothering you though."

He looks at me for a long time with a parted mouth, then blinks. He nods to himself and then stands up.

"Alright then," he says almost in a daze as if he's dreaming "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He heads to his room and I pull my blanket up to my chin, smiling into my pillow as I fall asleep.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

How many of you are close to your siblings? Istg all of my siblings are my gossip buddies. We keep each other's secrets and will probably die before revealing any of them to our mom.

I'm probably rushing this book way too much, but it's supposed to be a fast-paced and short book so I'm hesitant to change anything. Let me know what you guys think and thank you so much to the readers who are sticking by despite the late updates!

Words: 5,900

Date of publishing: 3rd July 2024