| 15 |

~ Lance Astor ~

I love my cat. I really do.

But when Banks screams, snatching herself away from me and running to the corner of the room, that's the first time I look down at Twilight with pure annoyance.

"Did you have to come out right now?" I hiss at her.

"Where the fuck did that come from?" Banks demands, placing a hand on her heart, and staring at the cat with wide eyes.

I pick her up in my arms, holding her out to Banks. "Meet Twilight. My cute little cat I've been talking about."

"It was in the room the whole time?" She shrieks.

"Yup. Under the bed."

Banks gives me an incredulous look.

I step towards her and she immediately flattens herself against the wall, trying to get away.

"Nah-uh. Keep that slimy thing away from me." She warns.

I pout. "But it's Twilight." I hold up the purring cat.

"And you'll be dead if you bring that near me."

My lips remain in a pout some more before I sigh and carry Twilight to the door. Placing her outside the room, I shoo her away. "Go for now. I'll call you back later." After giving her head a good scratch on the head, I shut the door.

Banks is still plastered to the corner of my room. My face falls when I see that she no longer has the heavy look in her eyes and the calm posture IN her shoulders. Her guard is back up again.

I curse Twilight in my head.

My body demands another dazed look from Banks. The one that made me want to yank her to me and crush my lips to her. That part of me wanted to break down her walls and feel the real her. To see what's she so closed off about and make sure she never hides again.

Now that moment's gone. Fuck. I seriously never hated my cat until now.

"Sorry about that. I completely forgot she was under the bed."

"What was she doing there?"

"She hides when there are new people around. She must've come out when she got familiar with your scent."

Banks nods, finally stepping away from the wall. Her shoulders are set high and her chin juts out. There's always a cold look to her features when she has her resting face on. I'm not sure if it's intentional or not.

She glances at the bed and her cheeks tint pink. There's no indication that she wants to continue what was about to happen.

Clearing her throat, she gestures towards the door. "We should get going."

I really don't want to. I want to take her hand and sit down somewhere, aimlessly talking about things. I want to crack that cold exterior and make her smile. I want to know all about her as if we were never strangers our whole lives.

But there's life so I keep my thoughts to myself and open the door, gesturing Banks to go ahead first.

She makes a quick check to see if Twilight is around or not before stepping outside. We walk to the dining hall and I notice how Banks is purposefully keeping distance between us.

Noises of talking and laughing envelop us even at a distance away from the dining room. The first thing I see when I enter is Theo and Caleb growing grapes at each other, trying to catch them with their mouths. Mom and Dad are having a conversation of their own, sipping on cups of tea. Xander is on his phone while Kaylee and Castle are talking.

"Banks! Open up!" Caleb launches a grape in Banks' direction.

She's caught off guard and doesn't react in time. My hand shoots out, plucking the grape from the air before holding it out to her. A tiny blush covers her cheeks as she nods at me in gratitude as she takes it, before directing a glare towards Caleb.

"What did I tell you about throwing things?"

"He started it!" He points towards Theo.

"Me?" Theo widens his eyes. "It was you who told me that we can do whatever we want before Banks comes back."

"Shut up." Caleb elbows him.

I slide back into my chair, picking up a cup of tea placed for me.

Dinner resumes with chatter and a whole lot of arguing. My eyes keep glancing in Banks' direction, catching her smile that she slips out every once in a while. Sometimes, she gives a laugh that makes me stop and stare.

How can anyone look this beautiful without any effort?

I have no idea why Banks yelled at me and Theo that day to stop calling her pretty. I know a lot of people who don't like their faces online but Banks was shaking with rage when she gave us an earful that morning. There was something else in her tone. Something like hurt or sadness.

I didn't want to upset her anymore no matter what it was. But my mouth can't take the hint sometimes when it opens on its own and decides to compliment her.

After dinner, Mom and Dad leave to have their own time while the rest of us head towards the TV lounge.

On our way, we meet Feng who quickly tries to zoom past us but is unsuccessful when Theo yanks him back by the shoulders.

"Hello, Feng!"

"Let me go, you animal!" Feng tries escaping but Theo doesn't budge.

From the corner of my eye, I spot Kaylee mouthing something to Banks. The latter rolls her eyes while shaking her head.

"Lance." Feng snaps. "Get your vile friend off me!"

I lift a shoulder. "I don't control him."

"No one controls me." Theo grins, mischievously.

Castle and Xander don't stop to watch the commotion and walk away, too tired from Theo's daily bullying of Feng.

"Say," Kaylee steps closer to him. "Are you married?"

"Kaylee." Banks hisses from behind, but she ignores her.

"Why on earth would I get married?" Feng frowns as if Kaylee asked him the most absurd question.

"So you're not?"

"God forbid, no."

Kaylee turns around and gives Banks a secret thumbs up.

Wait...what the hell is going on?

After Theo is satisfied with bullying Feng, we join Castle and Xander in the TV lounge. We already decided what movie we're going to watch so that saves us the argument that would've commenced otherwise.

I walk to the couches to take a seat and furrow my eyebrows when I notice Theo dragging Xander and Castle to the other side of the couch, and Kaylee grabbing Caleb with them.

Banks is oblivious to it as she sits on one end of the couch. I look back at my friends before looking back at Banks and that's when I realize what happened. These people didn't leave me any spot except for the one beside Banks.

I shoot Theo and Kaylee a grateful grin before masking my excitement and taking a seat beside Banks.

She looks up, startled, then looks around the room before realizing that there are no other spots for me to fill. The moment I'm near her, some sort of tension passes between us making her sit up straighter. She clears her throat, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I hope you're not afraid of horror movies." I smile at her.

She shakes her head and then squints at the rest of us. "They did it on purpose, didn't they?" She asks me.

"Did...what?" I play dumb.

"I thought these tactics died in high school." Banks narrows her eyes at Kaylee.

I settle back against the couch, stretching my long legs in front of me. From the corner of my eye, I can see Banks eyeing them. I resist the urge to comment about it, knowing she'll pull herself away.

The lights go out and the movie starts.

While I'm not really scared of horror movies anymore, the jumpscares do make me flinch or curse from time to time. It's better compared to Caleb, Kaylee and Theo who scream loud enough to bring down the house.

I keep glancing at Banks to see a furrow between her eyebrows and her eyes squinted halfway shut. Confusion envelopes me at her face. At some points during the movie, our arms brush against each other, sending a bolt of heat up my body. Banks does not move to pull away though so I don't either.

The housekeeper brings in snacks and drinks, and I grab a can of Coke.

I don't know how it happens but a few more minutes into the movie our arms touch. I hold my breath, waiting for Banks to pull away or shift in her seat.

She doesn't.

I release a silent sigh and relax back, taking another sip of my Coke.

Trying my hardest to focus on the movie is damn fucking hard. All I can think about is the presence beside me. Should I put my arm behind her? Should I make a move?

Theo, Caleb, and Kaylee let out another scream that catches my attention for a while. I look back at the TV screen to see blood and gore everywhere. The killer moves forward to hunt his next victim. For a moment, I get entranced by the scene, watching carefully.

Suddenly, A weight falls against my arm. My gaze snaps to the side and my eyebrows rise when I see Banks' sleeping head resting against my bicep. For a second, I stop moving, not sure what to do.

Her eyes are closed and her forehead is smooth without those frown lines. I watch her for a full minute, entranced. She looks so soft and peaceful, snuggled against my side. How can someone so fierce look so fragile? An urge to take her in my arms and hold her comes over me.

She must've been really tired if she simply fell asleep on my arm. I glance at the clock and take note that it is getting pretty late. Biting my lower lip, I glance at Banks again before stealthily slipping out my phone.

A few seconds later the housekeeper appears with a blanket in her hand as per my text. She drapes it over Banks before heading back out. I cover the blanket up to her chin, tucking it in. Banks makes a soft noise, murmuring under her breath before snuggling further, curling into my side.

Something happens to my stomach then. Something jumpy and fluttery. I try not to get too excited and relax back on the couch, trying to continue watching the movie.

Banks' weight on my arm feels so damn comforting. The more time passes, the more this sense of protectiveness rises in my chest. I glance at Banks again, taking in her soft lips and the curve of her face.

A determination rises in my mind at that very moment. I know Banks has wounds from the past. I can tell from her behaviour and her close-guarded self. I'm going to make sure she's never hurt again. I'm going to make sure that the soft look on her face is not just when she's asleep.

Layer by layer, I'm going to get to know her and when I do, there's no stopping me.

●・○・●・○・●

~ Banks Woods ~

I wake up to someone knocking on the door. My eyes crack open as if they've been waxed shut. Grumbling under my breath, I stumble out of the couch, pulling down my pants that rose up my shins during the night. Rubbing my eyes, I open the door.

"Miss Banks Woods?"

I squint my eyes at the man standing in front of me. He looks like a delivery guy with a wide smiling face. God. How are people so happy this early in the morning?

Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, I reply. "Yes?"

"Here's your package." He holds out a huge black bag for me.

The remaining of my sleep vanishes as my eyes widen. "But I didn't order anything."

He draws his brows. "Are you sure? It says it's an order from Selene Boutique."

"I'm sure there's been a mistake. I didn't order anything from any boutique."

The delivery man scrunches his eyebrows before looking at the package. "The billing address refers to a Mister Lance Astor."

"Oh." My mouth opens in realization. "Then yeah, it might be mine." Although I don't know what the fuck it is.

By the time, I set the package on the couch and do some paperwork signing, my phone buzzes on the table.

Shutting the door, I pick up my phone.

Lance: Just got a notification that you got the dress.

Lance: If you don't like it, tell me, I'll get you another one.

Confusion envelops me as I spread the bag open on the couch, before dragging the zipper down. I pull out the hanger and gape when the dress comes in full sight in front of me.

No fucking way.

It's a deep black dress with the softest cloth I've ever felt. The fabric is shiny and glittery but not too much. The neckline is off-shoulder with skin-fitting sleeves that'll cover my wrists. The dress tightens around the waist with an elegant bow at the back, as it flows down in three long ruffles. It's so simple yet looks so classy.

I stare at the dress for a long time, feeling the rich fabric underneath my fingertips and marvelling at its beauty. I've never held something like this ever before. I can't even dream of looking at clothes like this.

I try looking for a tag anywhere but I can't find it. Did Lance purposefully have it removed?

Picking up my phone again. I swipe to our chat.

Banks: What's this for?

His reply comes instantly.

Lance: The event we talked about. Did you not like the dress? I thought black would suit you.

Did I not like the dress? Of course, I fucking do! I love it so much that I'm scared someone is going to appear out of nowhere and snatch it away from me.

It feels like a dream.

Lance: I was going for something between a princess and Wednesday Addams vibes so the dress would match your mood at all times.

I bite my lip to stop a smile from spreading across my face.

Banks: How very thoughtful

Lance: Shopping is NOT easy. There were like twenty different types of necklines, types of sleeves, types of lengths and styles. You owe me another date, Miss Woods.

Banks: It wasn't my fault that you can't understand fashion.

Lance: Hey, I was being nice and saving you the work of picking out a dress yourself.

Lance: Nah. I wanted to pick out a dress for you. I don't know why. There are a lot of things I want to do for you that I have no clue about why I want to do it

A blush creeps up my cheeks as I read the words.

Banks: Seems like I've possessed you

Lance: I guess you really did

Lance: Great! Now you owe me another date.

Banks: Dude!

Lance: I take no rejections. I'll meet you at the cafe and we'll talk about which place to go next.

Banks: I didn't even agree to it!

Lance: I take no arguments too. See you later.

Shutting off my phone, I take another look at the dress before hugging it to my chest and letting out a tiny squeal in excitement. I don't know but the little girl in me is jumping right now at the thought of dressing up and going to a party.

The little me hasn't been treated right. Ever.

My brain gives me another warning that disappointment is gonna follow soon. That nothing ever lasts long and I'm going to be deeply hurt. But just for once, just this once, I want to feel again; the joy, the happiness, the giddiness. I want to feel it all over again.

I can't believe Lance actually made the effort to buy me a dress. Something that's to my liking too. Not too flashy, not too plain.

I haven't forgotten the way I woke up yesterday and found myself staring into a pair of deep blue eyes. My brain then zapped back to life when I realized I was all cuddled up into Lance with a blanket on me. Lance being Lance gave me a gentle smile while I was red with embarrassment.

Theo and Kaylee were shooting me sly looks while I quickly tried to sit up and made sure there wasn't drool on my chin. I didn't even realize when I had fallen asleep. I remember my body fighting against the attraction of the warm heat radiating from Lance's body. I had eaten too much and my brain was fogging up too.

I can't believe I fell asleep on him, and he let me. Of course, he let me. I bet if I asked to draw on his face with a Sharpie, he'd let me.

Carefully placing the dress back in the bag, I zip it close before walking into Caleb's room to kick him awake.

●・○・●・○・●

"I'm really in the mood for some clubbing today." Kaylee groans behind me, lazily wiping a table down. We still have about an hour until we have to open.

"Aren't you always?" I reply, preparing drinks for our regular customers.

"Today it's just worse. It's like begging me to drop this boring ass work and start a new job as a stripper. Can you believe strippers get fifty thousand yearly?"

I sigh. "You're not going to become a stripper, Kaylee."

"Who says?"

"You love this cafe too much to just give up for stripping." I wave at the wide space that Kaylee worked hard for since she was sixteen.

She looks around the place too, pride shining in her eyes as she takes in the high walls, the minimalist, cozy decor, and the sign with her name hanging on it.

"You're right." She mumbles. "This place is the product of all the shit I went through in my life."

"Exactly. So get your head out of the club and focus on giving people their recharge drink."

We get back to work, wiping and dusting before it's finally time to open. Everyone pours in on an early Monday morning ordering three to five cups of coffee to wake their brains.

Early afternoon, when I'm just finishing up with a customer, Lance pops in, waving over at me.

"Van Gogh latte?" I ask.

"Van Gogh latte." He nods.

"Clubbing." Kaylee groans. "I. Need. The. Club." Her upper body falls on the counter dramatically.

"What's up with her?" Lance whispers to me.

I roll my eyes. "She's tired of working and wants to go clubbing."

"Let's go tonight then."

Kaylee perks up. "Let's?"

"Yeah, I'll call my friends too."

"Um, hello? It's a Monday." I raise an eyebrow.

"So what?" Kaylee throws her hands up, already looking energetic. "I'm ready to throw down everything in exchange for some alcohol and music."

I look back at Lance to see him typing on his phone, before looking up with a grin. "Theo's in. Meaning Xander and Castle will be there too."

Both of them turn their eyes towards me.

"What? Why are you guys looking at me?"

"You're coming too, right?" Lance asks.

"Of course she is," Kaylee answers for me.

"I never said I was—"

"Banks wants to let loose too so she's coming along with us."

I glare. "Hey, hold up, I never said I was—"

"So you're not coming?" Lance's expression falls a little. I don't know if he's doing it on purpose or if it's genuine.

"Come on, Banks. I do so much shit for you and you can't even come to a club with me?" Kaylee pouts.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Why am I suddenly being emotionally manipulated?"

"And you're calling this emotional manipulation." Kaylee makes a sad face. "After all these years of friendship, you think I'd do that to you?"

I narrow my eyes. "Yes."

She scoffs. "You're fired."

"Once again," I place a hand on my hip. "You can't fire me."

"I can if you don't prove your friendship to me."

"You're being dramatic."

"And you're being a bad friend."

"That's not the definition—"

"Lance, would you do anything for your best friends?"

"I would die for them." He says, without missing a beat.

"See! He would die for his friends! I'm not asking you to die for me. I'm only asking you to go clubbing with me."

"But I can't leave Caleb alone at home. He's a disaster to everything around him."

"Oh, I already told Caleb he's coming with us."

"You what?" I yell.

Lance holds up his phone, looking sheepish. "I knew you wouldn't leave him alone so I told him to get ready for Theo to go pick him up."

"Oh no." I groan, placing my hands on my head. That little shit will not settle down now until we go to the club. Honestly, why am I even arguing with these people? It's the majority against one and I'm losing badly.

I place a hand on my forehead, dragging it down my face in weariness.

"Fine," I grumble.

"Yes!" She jumps and throws her arms around me, squeezing me tight for a second before letting go. The unexpected hug catches me off guard. "Guess who's drowning in alcohol tonight?" She hollers.

"Shh." I give her a scolding look. If any of the Karens hear her, they'll start a new drama about this place being "unprofessional".

I mean I guess it is pretty unprofessional with Kaylee being Kaylee and her letting Caleb do weird stuff here. But most of the time, no one gives a fuck and just wants their coffee. Only a few start a new argument and then point out how unfit Kaylee is to run this cafe.

When night follows along, I'm in an even grumpier mood because of Kaylee's constant chattering and another customer pissing me off with their dementia and bad attitude.

I pinch the bridge of my nose while Theo gets Caleb ready in his old man disguise, putting on the fake beard and the thick jacket to cover up his slender shoulders.

Heading inside the club, the sound of music and the smell of perfumes and alcohol give me a slight headache. It's also because I didn't sleep very well. Xander, Castle, Caleb and I head towards one of the booths while Kaylee, Lance, and Theo waste no time in hitting the dance floor.

We order a little bit of food that Xander insisted on paying for. I objected once but then let him have it because well, I'm already broke.

Caleb does his little dance while eating his French fries. He's still sticking to my side and doesn't make demands about wanting to roam about.

I follow Lance, Theo, and Kaylee's moves. Just watching them dance gets me more tired. I don't know how these people have such intense stamina. I used to be like that during my high school days. I can't believe how reckless and careless I was just for some attention from certain people.

Lance saunters over to us. The top buttons of his white shirt are open, displaying the smooth muscles of his chest and hints of the top of his abs. His hair is ruffled and messy and his face is flushed red.

He walks to Xander and Castle, grabbing their shoulders from behind, startling the latter who was immersed in his reading.

"Come on, guys! It's so much fun out there."

Xander shrugs off his hand from his shoulder. "No, thanks."

Castle shakes his head.

Lance looks up at me then. "Banks?"

Caleb snickers. "Banks? Dancing? She'd rather break a leg."

"I'm sure she's not that bad."

I'm not actually. I can dance fairly well. But after Caleb's comment, I'm sure as hell not going to dance anytime soon.

"No thanks," I reply, putting a piece of nacho in my mouth.

"Oh come on. You haven't even had a drink yet. Oh shit, are you religious or something? Do you drink alcohol?"

"I do drink alcohol. But I have this guy–" I put Caleb in a headlock under my arm "—to take care of."

He pushes my arm away, huffing while fixing his fake beard.

"He's going to be fine. He's a big man, aren't you Caleb?"

"I am." He puffs out his chest.

"Yeah see. Besides, we have these two to take care of anything." Lance ruffles Xander's and Castle's hair before giving their heads a swat.

"We're not your fucking babysitters," Xander grumbles, reaching behind.

Lance jumps out of the way before Xander's fist can collide with his stomach. He drifts over to my side.

"Let me buy you a drink."

"No, thank you."

"You don't have to get drunk. Just a small tiny drink with me won't hurt."

"I can't leave Caleb."

"It's alright," Castle speaks up. "We'll watch over him. You can go have fun."

I hesitate.

"I'm not a small child." Caleb glares at me. "I can take care of myself."

I narrow my eyes at him showing just how much I believe him.

"Just go. I'll prove it to you tonight." He starts shoving me out of the booth. "You all think I'm just a baby. Go ahead and have your stupid drink. I'll show you I can take care of myself."

"Jeez. Jeez." I grunt when Caleb finally succeeds in pushing me out of my seat. I stand up, glaring at him.

He glares back at me.

"Ready to go?" Lance asks me.

I release a breath and nod.

He grabs my hand out of nowhere and my eyes widen at the contact. Before I can say anything, he's pulling me towards the bar, weaving through the crowds of people. His hold tightens on my hand when he thinks he's gonna lose me.

Making it to the bar in one piece, I blow a strand of hair out of my face as Lance pulls out a stool, holding up one hand to gesture toward it.

"M'lady. Have a seat."

The action gets me the tiniest bit flustered and I get on the stool. Lance pushes it closer to the bar and then takes his seat beside me.

He calls for the bartender and orders two Martinis.

When that's done he looks back at me, a different kind of playfulness to his smile. "Want to do one of those role-play things where we don't know each other? I'm a really creepy guy who hits on every girl he sees."

"Seriously?" My lips twitch.

"Yeah, sure. It's going to be really fun." Before I can respond to that, he gets up and walks away. I stare after him in confusion before he suddenly spins around and walks back in my direction.

His posture changes suddenly. He raises his shoulders, pulls them back and walks over to me with more confidence as if he wasn't already pretty confident. Slowly, he takes a seat beside me, way too close that I can feel the heat from his body. He looks me up and down, taking in my plain dark blue t-shirt and black jeans before giving me a cheeky smile.

"How you doing?" He asks in a smooth and deep voice, leaning in closer.

I stifle my smile, keeping my face neutral as I respond. "Pretty good."

"I'm doing pretty great too, by the way. Can I get you a drink? A beautiful girl like you shouldn't be drinking alone."

"I'm fine, thanks."

"How about some company then?" He leans in even further so that his shoulder touches mine.

This is so ridiculous. Really ridiculous. Then why am I trying so hard not to crack a smile?

"No thanks." I try focusing ahead on the bottles of wines decorating the shelves, and not on how close Lance is that I can feel his breath on my skin. My senses are hyper-aware with him this near, and I'm scared to turn my head and meet those deep blue eyes.

"Oh come on. You're probably waiting for a date who's not going to show up so why waste time? I can take you somewhere where we can have so much fun. It'll leave you speechless."

"Ew. Creep." I release a breathy chuckle.

My breath hitches when I feel his fingers on the base of my back. My spine snaps into a straight line as his warm fingers slowly move upwards, tracing the shape of my spine.

"You're cute when you're feisty." His mouth nears my ear and his breath sends tingles down my body that should definitely not feel good, but feels so good. "I can whisper some dirty things in your ear right now and see how much it turns you on. I can make you squirm in your seat." His fingers itch further, tracing the curve of my back. His nose touches my skin and he gently runs it across the side of my face.

"You're...really creepy, you know that, right?" My hands turn into fists on my lap as I force every bit of my body to stop reacting to him. A pulse starts between my legs and I nearly widen my eyes in horror. I seriously can't be turned on by this.

"Was that a yes?" He turns his head towards me, forcing me to meet his eyes. The moment I do, I'm gone. I'm lost all of a sudden at the intensity of his gaze and the desire it holds. He's too near for me to just lean in a bit and press my lips to his. "I want to see how red your face can get when I tell you all the things I want to do to you. I can see the desire in your eyes, so, really, why are we wasting time when we can do much better things instead?"

My brain loses the ability to speak. It loses the ability to even think properly. Being this near to him numbed all my other senses except for the one that's begging for his touch. For his hands on me. For him to really whisper those dirty things that he's talking about.

I abruptly stand up and Lance's hand falls away from my back. My breaths turn shallow. I don't know why I moved away when I didn't want to. I guess I just need to calm down or take a breath before his words actually drive me crazy.

"Banks? What's wron—"

"I'll just head to the bathroom." I don't wait for a reply as I turn around and practically run away.

Pushing past several people, my brain is a jumble of thoughts as I finally reach the ladies' room. I don't even have to pee, I don't know why I came here. Still, I head inside and pause when I catch my reflection in the mirror.

My cheeks are flushed and red, spreading to my ears and down to my neck. My eyes are dark and glazed as I recognize desire in them. Fuck. Is this seriously the effect he has on me? I need to get myself together.

The thought of him doing those things to me in that sultry whisper and hooded eyes sends another burst of heat up my face and down to my core. Huffing out a breath, I open the tap to cold water and splash my face, trying to calm myself down.

Looking back at myself in the mirror, I put on my game face.

Okay, I'm going to go back there and pretend I didn't run away like a total coward. I'm going to reply to Lance with as much confidence as he exudes and pretend none of his words makes my heart skip a beat.

I can do this. The old Banks was the epitome of confidence and recklessness. While I hated who I was before, I can still admire her for a few things. The old me would've flirted back with Lance and maybe we would've gotten to a much riskier note. Maybe by now, we would've already kissed or done something much more. Things would've gone so much faster if I wasn't...If I wasn't broken.

I shake my head.

None of those thoughts.

I'm going to get back there and show some confidence.

After prepping myself, I walk out of the bathroom with full determination and a different stride to my steps. I square up my shoulders and hurry back to Lance—only to bump into the worst person possible.

"Oh, sorry," I mumble, trying to bypass the person but then he calls my name and every bone in my body turns to stone.

I recognize that voice. I know that voice.

I'm suddenly in a dream. A very long and slow, excruciating dream. My heart stops beating altogether and my limbs turn into lead. Every fibre in my body urges me to run, to not even chance a glance behind and run, to pick up the remaining pieces of my heart and run. Fucking run.

But I don't.

I turn around.

I turn around to face him.

I turn around to look at the one and only who officially broke me

Ben grins as our gazes lock. "Banks? Fuck. I told you I saw her."

It takes me a moment to realize he's not alone. Standing by his arm. is a girl with short blonde hair that curls at her jaw. Her lips are painted hot pink and she's wearing the tightest white dress that doesn't fail to show her huge curves.

The last time I saw her, she had longer hair and a less flashy style. The last time I saw her, she was on top of Ben, riding him with her moans stabbing deep holes into my heart.

My ex-best friend.

Hollowness covers me like a blanket at the sight of both of them together. They're still together after cheating on me.

"You haven't changed at all!" Brenna says, excitedly as if she didn't betray me and we're just passing old friends.

"Brenna. Ben." My voice sounds foreign. It's like I'm speaking from another person's body. At least it's not shaky or strained like I expected it to come out.

"So you do remember us." Ben's grin widens. I'm reminded of the times when I used to yearn for that grin to be directed at me. For his eyes to notice me. He was the popular one during high school and I did anything to get his attention.

But now, I want his attention anywhere but me. I want the ground to open up and swallow me whole and just crush what's remaining of my heart that's aching right now.

I take in the way his hand rests on Brenna's waist, pulling her closer to him as if taunting me. Her hand tightens around Ben's arm, making fun of me. The more I take in their faces and their proximity, a sudden burst of fire explodes in my veins.

Gone is the emptiness and shock, replaced by pure rage at the audacity of these people to appear in front of me, grinning like fucking idiots.

"How can I not?" I spit out.

Ben's grin slips a little bit, not expecting my anger. What? He thought I'd start crying?

Still, I tell myself to calm down. To not let them know how much they affect me. I try to put on a mask of indifference on my face and try to relax the crease between my brows.

"I thought you'd be over it by now." Brenna pouts. "It's been two years and we already apologized."

My eyes widen in disbelief. Apologized how exactly? I almost yell. By sending Ben the next day storming into my apartment to fucking punch me in the eye? By letting him knee me in the stomach and then proceeding to laugh at me when I bled?

Memories attack my mind from every corner of my brain. Violent, harsh, angry memories that consume my head, almost making me gasp. I force my hand to remain still and not touch the spot on my stomach that had the worst bruise after Ben's assault.

Maintaining a steady voice, I say nonchalantly, "And I don't care for your fucking apologies. I never did for cheaters anyways."

Both of them go silent, looking me up and down. The whole time my pulse increases and the need to fucking punch something—them, takes over me.

"Brenna, baby, why don't you go wait by our table?" Ben tilts his head, narrowing one eye at me.

She looks offended. "But, why—"

"Brenna." He warns, tightening his hold on her waist in what looks like a threatening way.

She gives him a sad face before turning on her heel and walking away.

I don't wait or care for whatever Ben has to say or do and move to bypass him. I make it about two steps, before a hand grabs my shoulder, yanking me back.

I try ripping his hands off me, but he easily pushes me back into the small hallway that leads to the bathrooms.

"Let me fucking go!" I punch his chest, but it seems to not affect him.

"Jesus, chill out. I just want to talk." He releases me deep into the hallway, standing across me to block my way from leaving.

"I don't see what we have to talk about." I hold up my chin, crossing my arms against my chest.

He rubs a hand on his jaw, his black eyes assessing me with a tilt of his head. "Brenna was wrong when she said you didn't change at all."

I raise a questioning eyebrow.

He meets my eyes again. "You finally grew a spine. I'm proud."

I scoff. "Can we make this quick? I have somewhere I need to be."

"You mean those five other guys you came here with?"

"Yes."

"I saw them." A vile grin lifts his mouth. "You definitely upped your game. Back in high school, you fell for the silliest things, and now you have five guys with you?" He lets out a low whistle. "I'm seriously so proud."

"Are you getting anywhere with this?" I snap.

A look of annoyance comes on his face. "You developed an attitude too, huh? I kinda expected you to beg me to take you back into my life. But that isn't happening."

"And it never will."

"Because you got those five other guys with you?"

"It's none of your business." I glare.

He stalks forwards.

My pulse quickens when he nears me, invading my space. Before I can tell him to back the fuck away, his hand darts out, grabbing my neck and pushing me backwards.

My back hits the wall, and I lose my breath. Ben barges into my space, filling my vision with him as he stares down at me.

"What the fuck—"

His hands tighten around my neck, silencing me. I grab his wrist, trying to yank it off but he doesn't resist. I bring up my knee but he blocks it too, pressing his hips into mine and pinning my legs with his.

"You always got on my fucking nerves, you know that right?" His face comes closer to mine, his voice low and angry. "You were such a pathetic attention-seeking whore. Don't you remember? You're voice annoyed me so much, I don't how I kept you around for so long."

"Let me go!" I struggle against him, trying everything in me to loosen his hold on me.

"Let you go? Now that you found five other fuck buddies, you suddenly want me to let you go? Don't you remember your first time? When you begged me to take your virginity because you wanted to feel special. Because you wanted to feel loved." His face appears closer to mine, nailing every one of his words deep inside me. "Don't you remember how you cried out my name when I took this for myself?" He shoves his hand between my legs.

My hand lashes out, slapping him across the face.

He rears back in shock, not expecting me to hit him. He rubs his hand across his face.

"Put your fucking hands to yourself." I snarl.

His eyes, which are already black, seem to darken further. He clenches his jaw, running his tongue inside the skin of his mouth.

"You really wanna do this? Do you, you fucking bitch? Do you wanna get violent?" He pushes himself against me, and before I can hit him again, he captures both my wrists in his hand, pinning them above my head. "Do you wanna be reminded of what happens when you don't listen to me? Do you want a taste of that again?"

"I don't know what the fuck you want after all these years but let me the fuck go or you won't like what happens next!" I yell.

"God, why can't you stop being so fucking annoying?" He groans. "Just do what I say and everything will be alright. I've been telling you that since you begged for my attention in high school! But no, you always did things differently then cried and pleaded for me to not leave you."

"Those days are over," I state confidently, even though the memories slowly chip away at the wall I've been building inside.

"Like fuck they are." He grumbles. "I know you more than anyone else, Banks. I know how you crave for love that your parents failed to give you. I know how scared you are of being alone because your loneliness makes you hurt yourself. I know how desperately you want someone to accept you for who you are but at the same time, you're scared of them for leaving you. I. Know. You."

My breaths turn harsh by the time he's finished.

My head swims in a different direction. The sight of my own blood marking the insides of my thighs attacks my brain, reminding me of the lowest point of my life.

My chest heaves as if I can't get enough air. What's happening to me?

Ben smirks when he notices the shift in my demeanour. "I knew you'd remember. Just be a good girl and everything will be alright. I'm the only one who knows how to treat you right. Not those other guys. Do they wipe your tears while you bleed out on their cocks? Do they whisper degrading things in your ear, knowing that it makes you come faster? Do they know you cry the most when you're bitten on the—"

His head snaps back. Blood explodes from his nose, spraying over his mouth and chin. My own forehead pulses with the force with which I rammed it in.

"You fucking bitch!" He bellows.

I don't waste a second, darting beside him to make my way outside. I'm almost to the entrance when he grabs my arm, yanking me back. I kick his shins, his knee, freeing myself again.

Turning around to hurry out, I crash into someone.

The force of it makes me lose my balance. An arm comes on my shoulder to steady me and I raise my fist, ready to punch his fucking nose.

Xander blocks it at the last second, wearing a questioning face.

The sight of him nearly makes my knees give out in relief.

"Xander." I breathe out.

His eyes search my face, taking in my frantic expression before sliding behind me towards Ben who's nursing his bloody nose.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Xander furrows his eyebrows.

"Nothing. Let's go." I try tugging my fist free from Xander but he tightens his grip.

"I won't ask again." His face harshens into a silent menacing glare, directed towards Ben. He stalks towards him with controlled threatening steps, pulling me along behind him. "What. The fuck. Was going on?"

"I don't know." Ben snaps, trying to stop the bleeding. "Ask the bitch. She broke my fucking—"

Xander's hand whips out, grabbing Ben by the throat. My eyes widen when he lifts Ben off his feet with just one hand.

"Last chance." He warns.

Ben's eyes are wide. His legs flail around in disbelief. His face turns purple as he tries clawing Xander's hand at his throat. I knew Xander was strong but fuck, I didn't know he was this strong.

"Do you want to answer or should I fucking make you?"

As much as I'd like to watch Ben suffer and be beaten up for what he did to me, there's no denying the fact that he's just not worth it.

His words are still roaming around my head, jumbling my thoughts. My eyes strain and my vision starts getting blurry. Shit. I can't fucking cry. Not over here.

"Xander. Let's go." I mumble.

He doesn't listen, still waiting for a response from Ben as if he can still speak while being choked.

"Xander." I try again. "Please."

He looks over at me at that word. I don't know what he sees on my face but he reluctantly drops Ben, who collapses to the ground, clutching at his throat.

I realize my hand is still in Xander's, held gently. The sight makes my vision even blurrier. I pull my hand away from him, stumbling to the exit and walking out.

"Banks." Xander follows after me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"It can't be fucking nothing. Who was that?"

When I don't stop, he rounds me and then plants himself in front of me, blocking my way.

"You're fucking crying, Banks. What's wrong? What did he do?"

"Nothing." I grit, trying to wipe the tears away from my eyes.

"Does Lance know?"

"No," I say, immediately. "And he won't. Ever." I look up at him and give him my sternest look. "I mean it. I don't want Lance to know anything about this."

He gives me a threatening look back.

"Tell me who was that and I'll keep my mouth shut." He says.

I frown. "What? Why? There's nothing to be said about him. I don't want to talk about him."

"Obviously, it's not nothing if you're fucking crying because of him. Tell me."

"Why do you care?" I snap.

He glares at me then, the sight almost making me want to take back my words to have his gaze anywhere but at me.

"He's an ex," I mumble. "A cheating abusive son of a bitch whom I really don't wanna talk about."

Xander opens his mouth but before he can say anything, another presence pops into our space. I look to the side to see Lance. Shit. Fuck.

He obviously notices the tears in my eyes because his smile drops into a concerned frown.

"Banks? What's wrong?"

I shake my head, swiping at my face. "Nothing."

"Shit. Did the creepy guy really creep you out? I'm so sorry, Banks. I didn't mean to weird you out."

"You meant for this to happen?" Xander gives Lance an enraged look.

"We were just playing around. I didn't mean to upset her."

"You bastard! Why would you send a fucking creep after her?"

"I didn't send a creep after her. I was the creep." Lance furrows his eyebrows. "Wait...what are we talking about? What's going on?"

I give Xander a wide-eyed stare, begging him to keep quiet. He locks eyes with me for a moment, deciding, before turning his blank face back to Lance.

"Fucking Theo played with me again. Never mind what I said. I'm gonna go take that leak." Saying that he leaves our side and walks inside the washroom.

"Hey." Lance's voice pulls my attention again. His hands come up to my face, gently holding it while wiping under my eyes with his thumbs. "What's wrong? I'm sorry if I upset you. Did I get too creepy?"

I shake my head. "Nothing. It's fine. I just...remembered something." It's not entirely a lie. Ben's words wash over my brain like a tsunami and I feel dizzy all of a sudden. A sudden ache spreads through my chest and the urge to grip my heart makes my fingers twitch.

Memories of those lonely, sad days attack me, reminding me of how pathetic I really am, how low my self-esteem was and how easy it was for everyone to manipulate me, making me their personal toy.

The pain from those days cut through me, and I can't help another onslaught of tears that fills my eyes.

Lance's concerned voice fills my eyes. "Banks—"

"Let's back to that drink." I cut him off before he can ask me anything.

"Yeah, but—"

I don't wait for him to finish, striding past him to head back to the bar.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Who's your favourite character so far?

Also thank you so much to the readers who are taking their time to read and comment on this book! SPECIAL thanks to the readers who are correcting my grammar! It means a lot to me! 

Words: 8,000

Date of publishing: 24th June 2024