| 13 |

~ Banks Woods ~

"Absolutely not." I frown.

"I knew that's what you were going to say." Lance follows behind me.

"Then did you ask?" I pick up a coffee cup and a tray from a table, heading over to another.

"Because I have a way of changing your mind."

"I doubt it."

"Hear me out." He appears in front of me, forcing me to halt otherwise I'd go slamming into his chest.

I raise an eyebrow, looking up at him. "Two minutes."

Lance grins, looking handsome in his gray suit and smooth blonde hair. "I'll buy you the greasiest, sauciest, the very most non-vegetarian-ist burger whenever you want for the rest of your life."

"Rest of my life?" The words make me falter. He says it as if we're still going to be seeing each other a few months later.

He nods. "Not even just a burger. Anything. You can call me in the middle of the night and demand chicken nuggets and I'll get it to your door within no time."

I shoot him a look of disbelief. "Aren't you some busy office man?"

"I'll make time for you."

My heart flutters. He needs to stop saying shit like that. I'm not used to things like that and it makes me feel weird...and hopeful.

"Don't make promises you're gonna regret," I warn. "I get hungry all the time."

He smiles as if that makes him happy. "And you don't underestimate me. If I make a promise, I keep it. No matter what."

I lean my hip against a table and think about it. Attend a formal event with Lance?

A part of my brain wants to say yes and to explore this other world of him. Another part of my brain warns me to stay away and keep my heart and curiosity to myself.

I don't even have a dress or anything fancy to wear. I'm still wary of Lance and about anything unexpected that might pop up. If it's a formal event then there are going to be lots of people who are going to see me with him.

My insecurities creep into me despite the tight hold I keep on the door shut on them. They're all going to point fingers at me. They're all going to make fun of Lance for bringing someone like me. They're going to give those disappointing looks that my parents and Ben always gave me.

Just the thought of it makes me want to hide from everyone.

I shake my head, murmuring. "I can't."

His smile slips. "Why not?" 

I purse my lips. "It's a lot of work. I don't even have a dress and I don't know how to act."

"Those are the least of your worries!" His smile is back on with excitement. "Leave the dress to me. I'll get you one. And as for how to act, forget about it. I just want to take you out. You don't have to act like anything."

I open my mouth to deflect him, to turn him down again, but pause when I can't find it in myself. I can't explain the exact reason why without making myself look pathetic.

I don't even know why I feel insecure. I thought I was over with those days the moment I got over Ben. Is he still having an effect on me? Am I still allowing my past to control my life?

I promised myself I wouldn't go down that train again. I promised the teenage me that I would never shame her for how she looks anymore.

I'm still doing that now, aren't I? I'm putting away something new in life just because I'm feeling insecure about my looks.

I rethink my decision.

After a moment of silence, I finally decide to force myself to put aside every negative thought and I nod. "Fine."

"See." Lance grins. "No one can resist burgers."

"Whatever." I thrust a rag at his face to stop that stupid grin from making my insides flutter. "Give this back to Kaylee."

"Ouch." He rubs his cheekbone, muttering. "Why does everyone throw rags at me?"

●・○・●・○・●

Caleb is back to normal with his annoying self. He's always like that. Sad and moody for one day before he bounces back into his usual self like a rubber ball.

I'm not sure how to approach the topic again without upsetting him, so I've decided to let it slide for now and ask him again when the time feels right.

Right now, he's sitting with Theo—who I think is a very bad influence with the way he keeps teaching Caleb bad words in Japanese and thinks I don't know.

"Baka means—" I pass by their table and Theo clears his throat "—beautiful lady. Yup, that's what it means. So whenever you think your dear sister Banks looks pretty, call her a Baka, alright?"

I frown at him. "Do you seriously think I don't know the meaning of Baka?"

Theo freezes. "You...do?"

I nod.

He gulps. "Well, fuck me."

Caleb laughs. 

Theo came over to meet Kaylee for another event planning and collaboration but then ended up staying over for a bit when he spotted Caleb doing his homework in the corner of the cafe.

"Stop teaching my brother bad things or else you're banned from this cafe," I warn.

Theo crosses his arms behind his head, giving me a smug look. "This isn't your cafe, and Kaylee loves me too much to agree with you."

A glare slides across my face that immediately has Theo's smug face slipping. I'm surprised I appear intimidating to him, considering his twin brother who has an even scarier glare.

"My baby Banks is the one I love the most, so whatever she says goes!" Kaylee calls out from behind.

Theo's smile vanishes completely at that. He grumbles under his breath, "No one ever takes my side."

"Don't worry, dude." Caleb slings an arm around his shoulders. "I'm always here for you."

"Thanks a lot, man." Theo smiles at him.

Caleb shoots me a sly look.

I roll my eyes at both of them.

The door to the cafe opens, chiming the bell. My eyes flick towards it and my eyebrows rise when Lance walks in. He immediately spots me as if he was looking for me the moment he stepped in. His smile widens, and he holds up a hand in greeting.

When he stops in front of me, he robs me of my breath for a second, making me immobile before I remind myself that I can move.

"The same Van Gogh coffee?" I ask.

He nods. "Yup."

He notices Caleb and Theo on the table and raises his eyebrows in excitement. "Theo! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the restaurant?"

Theo narrows his eyes. "You noticed me just now? What the fuck? Seriously?"

"Of course I didn't." Lance lies so obviously.

Theo scoffs, scowling. "I hate all of you right now. No one holds me important." He looks away from all of us, glaring at a wall.

"Oh come on, man." Lance slides into the chair beside him. "I just didn't expect to see you here. I was looking for Banks because you know I always look for her."

I don't know if I was supposed to hear that but the words make my cheeks heat up while something makes my insides all fuzzy. How can someone talk so freely about another person so...openly?

If someone held me at gunpoint and demanded me to say I love you to Caleb, I would snatch the gun and shoot myself.

Walking back to the counter, I make Lance his Van Gogh coffee—he always asks for that coffee with that name so it became our thing now.

When I return, the three boys are in deep discussion.

I set Lance's coffee on the table and he looks up with a thankful smile.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Can we go running with them?" Caleb peers up at me.

I furrow my eyebrows. "Running?"

He nods.

"They all go running every morning on the weekend. Can we go with them?" He's practically shaking with excitement.

"Whoa there, hold up. You don't even like running."

Caleb's smile falls and he scowls. A second later, I feel something kick my shin. He gives me a pleading look, flicking his eyes back and forth towards Lance and Theo.

Damn. I didn't know my brother was such a fan of them. I put a hand on my hip, thinking it over. Fuck. Running? On the weekend? I'm way too tired and lazy for that.

The muscles of my body warn me to say no but I look at Caleb's hopeful face and can't find it in me to crush that expression. So I release a sigh and nod. "Yeah, sure."

"Yes!" He pumps a fist in the air.

Theo stretches his arms over his head. "Great. Come to the park by the big lake by six A.M. We run for exactly an hour so make sure to get your water bottle and other things."

My eyes nearly bug out. Running for an hour?

"Who's idea was this?" I ask.

"Castle. He was the one who went on runs every alternate day, wanting to become Mr. Hot Man for his fiancee before their wedding. Now we just accompany him because we're such great buds." Theo grins.

"You only come along to bother him." Lance chides.

Theo bursts out laughing. "That fucker is so slow, it's hilarious watching him run during the last fifteen minutes." He continues laughing as if picturing Castle's state in his mind.

My lips twitch at his contagious laughter.

"I think my state will be even worse. I can't run at all." I mumble.

"It's easy." Theo waves his hand. "Just remember to breathe and take it easy. Most often people sprint rather than run so they tire too quickly."

Caleb and I share a look, sharing our weakness at running. Caleb only wants to go because he likes being with these guys. I want to go because I don't want to kill his excitement.

That still doesn't stop me from sending a glare in his direction which promises that I'm kicking him in the ass later on.

●・○・●・○・●

I'm dressed in a simple blue T-shirt and jeans when the morning of the weekend comes. I was in no fucking mood to get up and had Caleb drag me to the bathroom to freshen up.

My hair is tied into a high ponytail that pulls at my scalp but I leave it on anyway because I want it out of my face. The sky is blueish-pink, and the sun is not out yet. The weather is slightly chilly, making me shiver occasionally.

Caleb and I walk towards the park we decided to meet at and I immediately spot the four men. They're hard not to notice.

Castle and Theo are stretching while Lance and Xander are immersed in a conversation. It is Theo who notices us first.

"Imouto! Caleb!" He yells loud enough for the entire country to hear.

Castle winces, but gives me a small smile. He's wearing a long-sleeved black t-shirt with white sweatpants.

Lance meets my eyes and smiles. I wave back.

Caleb doesn't waste a second and runs in their direction jumping into a chest bump offered by Theo.

I didn't get enough sleep last night and there are no doubt dark circles underneath my eyes.

"All good?" Lance asks, leaning closer towards me, enough that I feel the warmth from his body radiating into my skin.

I nod. "Yup."

I glance at Xander and he nods in my direction in a greeting. I nod back.

I'm already warmed up from the walk it took to reach here so in under five minutes, Castle sets up a timer for one hour and we take off.

I try taking it slow as possible as Theo suggested but not so slow that it'll make me look like a loser. Even then, my lungs get robbed of oxygen so fast, that I start heaving within the first six minutes. I try keeping my mouth shut so that the rest don't know about how I'm already on the verge of dying.

Theo, Xander and Lance run easily as if they're moving underwater. They look like they're barely putting any effort, joking and playing around with each other.

Castle, Caleb and I are a few feet behind, keeping a slow pace that still feels like hell.

"I can't be this fucking unathletic," I grumble.

"Same." Castle gasps from beside me. "I've been running for two months now but I still get so out of breath."

"I heard you're doing this for your fiancee."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "I bet Theo said that." He shrugs. "A part of me is doing it to impress Holly. Another part of me just wants to live a healthy life after neglecting my health for so long."

I furrow my eyebrows, trying to keep my gasps to a minimum as I ask. "What do you mean?"  

"I come from a really poor family. So I had no time to take care of myself because I was busy earning for my mom and my dog."

My eyebrows rise in surprise. A poor family? I never thought it was possible. He always holds himself so high and he's always reading so I thought he was from one of those elite families. 

Curiosity takes over me. "Really?"

He nods, heaving out a breath, maintaining a steady speed. "I don't talk about it much because things are much better now. It's useless too, you know? Talking about the past when the future is much better. Life was really hard up until high school."

"What happened after high school?"

"I met my fiancee and she made it better." A gleam comes over Castle's eyes. Something like pride and adoration. "She was this unexpected thing that popped up out of nowhere and before I knew it, everything was getting better. I do workout to impress her, but I mostly do because she inspires me to be better."

The more I get to know Castle, the more I feel like we have nothing but so much in common. It's always so refreshing to talk to him.

"Banks is still broke. She found someone in high school but he didn't make us rich." Caleb pants beside me.

"Shut up." I groan.

He shrugs. "Is there like a code or something to attract the rich ones?"

"Caleb," I warn, embarrassment coating my skin. This little shit doesn't know what to say and what not to say.

Fortunately, Castle shakes his head with a little smile. "It was more like Holly who chased after me."

"Oh, so you just play hard to get?" Caleb tilts his head, before snapping his head in my direction. "Banks, ignore Lance for a whole week.

"If you don't shut the fuck up right now, I'll kick your ass into the lake."

He looks down with a pout.

"Ignore him," I tell Castle.

"It's not about finding a rich person. It's about finding someone who inspires you to become better." Castle speaks directly to Caleb. "Holly does bully me a lot and makes fun of me but she's the one who also pushes me forward."

"Where is she?" I ask.

"She has dance practice."

I nod.

A thought comes to my mind.

"Caleb. Go catch up with the rest. I think I heard Theo calling you."

"Oh really?" He speeds up to them, huffing and panting while doing so.

I bite my lip, glancing at Castle, who already senses my question. He's looking at me, waiting.

Normally, I wouldn't ask such a question to anyone. It's pathetic really, but something about Castle makes me feel easy enough to talk to him.

"I'm not assuming anything and I'm sorry if I do...but...how do you get past those insecurities? Life does get better but the past faults are still there."

Or is it just for me?

He looks me up and down, looking back up to meet my eyes. He thinks for a second, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I don't think I've gotten past my insecurities." He gives a one-shoulder shrug. "They're still there and fog my brain during the bad days, but every other day, I choose to ignore them. Everyone has insecurities. I think it's a matter of how much a person lets it affect them."

I grow silent in thought.

The burning of my lungs brings me back.

"I can't do this anymore." I gasp. "My stomach feels like it's squeezing itself."

There's sweat running down Castle's temples. He glances at his watch, groaning. "We still have forty-eight minutes to go."

"What the fuck?" My eyes bug out.

"You slow-pokes better hurry up!" Theo's voice calls from ahead. "My grandma can run faster than you both."

He's grinning smugly at us, waving his hand.

"Hurry up, Banks!" Caleb says from beside him like his good little sidekick.

I narrow my eyes at him.

I look at Lance to see him smiling as expected. The sight still does something to me. He slows down his pace so that he's nearer to me. Within a few steps, he's right beside me, looking as if he's doing a light jog while I'm burning up my calves.

He snickers. "Both of you look like you're being tortured."

"It sure feels like it," I grunt.

"We still have forty-seven minutes to go." He teases.

"We know." Castle and I snap.

"Want some motivation?" Lance asks.

I nod.

"If you make it through this run without taking any breaks, I'll give you a very NVB." He grins.

I groan, knowing that I won't be able to make it.

"What's that?" Theo questions. The rest of the guys slowed down too to let Castle and me catch up with them. "Caleb, is that a code word between them to give head?"

Caleb scrunches his nose in disgust and stares at me as if I'm the one who said something.

"Shut up, Theo," Lance says, before looking back at me. "What do you say?"

"If you use that against me at every chance, it's going to get old." It never is. I don't think I'll ever stop loving burgers.

"Did it give you even the slightest bit of motivation though?" He tilts his head.

Despite not wanting to admit it, I nod. "Maybe."

"Good. Then let's do this so you can get your very saucy and greasy NVB."

"They're definitely talking about sex," Theo whispers to Caleb.

"Dude!" Caleb looks disgusted. "She's my sister."

"I was mainly pointing towards Lance." Theo defends.

Surprisingly, I make it through the rest of the run. The moment we stop though, my legs lose all their energy and I fall to my knees, face-planting into the grass. I don't even care if I look like a sweaty lump. I turn onto my back and try sucking in as much air as I can into my heaving lungs.

I'm not the only one. Caleb and Castle are right beside me, sharing my situation.

Theo's face pops up at the top of my vision. His face is upside down and laughing as he pulls out his phone, recording our state.

I scowl at him, having no more energy to do anything but that.

"Fuck off." Castle heaves.

"Banks. My legs feel as if they're elevating." Caleb gasps.

"I can't even feel mine," I grumble.

Lance grins, amusedly while Xander has a look of pleasure on his face as if seeing us like this makes him happy. That damn sadist. The rest of them plop down near our heads, catching a break too and exchanging bottles of water.

I remind myself to take it slow as I gradually sip from my bottle.

"Good job, though," Lance speaks from beside me. "I actually didn't think you'd make it through the hour."

"Anything for a NVB." I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Damn. You're that desperate for a head?" Theo asks.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Shut up, Theo."

"No, really. Even I'm not this horny."

"We're not talking about anything sexual." Lance sighs.

"Thank God," Caleb mutters.

"What the fuck does NVB mean then? Huh?" Theo questions.

Lance opens his mouth to answer but I quickly cover his mouth with my hand, widening my eyes and glancing towards Caleb. He cannot know we're not vegetarians.

Lance shakes his head, giving me a reassuring look. I drop my hand then.

"It's something between me and Banks," Lance replies.

"So something sexual."

"It isn't anything sexual, Jackass." Lance slaps him upside the head.

Theo shrugs. "Whatever. You horny people can keep it to yourself. God, all this talking about sexual stuff is making me hungry. Anyone wanna grab breakfast?"

On cue, my stomach growls a little. Embarrassment crosses my face but only Lance hears it because he gives me a smile.

Everyone pulls themselves up to their feet but before I can, Lance holds out a hand towards me. The gesture makes me blush a bit even though I try to dismiss any feelings about it.

I take his hand, relishing in how warm and hard his skin feels against mine.

Caleb and I get into Lance's car and we drive towards an open breakfast restaurant. I wasn't sure about intruding on their daily routine and being an unwanted presence.

"Is it alright for me Caleb to join you guys?"

"Yeah. Why not?" Lance's casual reply eases me slightly.

I'm still not sure about the other's feelings on this. I mean I sure as hell wouldn't want some other person randomly joining us if I were hanging out with my best friends.

The moment we settle down on our table though, all doubts and uncertainties vanish as if they never existed. We get into an easy conversation, talking about the most random things while hungrily digging into our breakfasts. Half of us are snapping at each other, while the other half is being snapped at. The weight that was on my shoulders sags down to nothingness and I find how much I'm enjoying these men's company.

In the beginning, insecurities and hesitancies were running through my brain but within a few minutes, I don't think about it anymore. I'm not sure if it's the effect of the guys on me, or if I'm just too hungry to care.

Whatever this is...I like it.

I don't want this to stop.

I look at Caleb who's laughing while occasionally choking on his food. He looks happy. Really happy. The sight of my brother's smile makes me feel glad in ways that release almost all of my life's tension.

I look at the man sitting beside me. The blue-eyed blonde who's so easy and chill and changed my life within a span of a few weeks. How...dull was my life before I met him.

It was the same routine of waking up, working, eating, then going to sleep.

Now there's something to look forward to. Something new to expect. Something new to experience. Every day, I wake up with a little bit of excitement to see what Lance does next.

I didn't even realize how deeply he engraved himself into my life that now if he leaves, there'll be a big black hole that'll surely take months to recover from.

He leans closer to me, enough that I feel the warmth from his skin seep into mine. I catch the scent of something strong and woodsy.

"It's nothing serious really," He starts, "but do you wanna have dinner at my home sometime?"

I furrow my eyebrows. "Like with your family?"

"My mom and dad." He nods.

"Uh..." I trail off, unsure. Why is he suddenly asking me to have dinner with his parents? We're not even dating yet so it's not the 'meet the parents' thing. Is it?

As if Lance can read my mind, he says, "It's just a casual dinner. In return for making me dinner the other night."

I tilt my head and consider it. I don't want to meet Lance's parents just yet. I'm terrible at talking to people and holding a conversation.

"I'm going to make it awkward as fuck." I grumble. "You're better off without me ruining your dinner."

"No. Please." He grabs my hand and I startle at the contact of his skin touching mine. "My parents kinda wanna see you too and I want to return the favour for the pasta."

I try considering but my gaze keeps flicking to the way Lance has his hand placed on top of mine, gently gripping my fingers between his long and strong ones. The contact makes me feel something warm and delightful. It shouldn't feel this good. He just has his hand on top of mine.

"Uh..." I stammer.

He tilts his head. "Would it be better if I invited these fuckers along too?"

It would be better. It would be so much better. I nod.

A smile breaks across his face. "Great. I'll see you this evening then?"

My eyes widen. "This evening?"

He winces. "Too soon?"

I bite my lip. It's alright actually. I just have to put on presentable clothes and make sure to act good. It's just my nervousness telling me to back down.

I shake my head. "This evening is good."

If the skin contact wasn't enough, Lance gives my hand a gentle squeeze before removing his with a smile.

The loss of contact hits me immediately when cold air encases my hand. I hide the urge to stick my hand under the table and feel my skin as if I can catch the feel of Lance's hand still there.

"Imouto! Tell Castle that pizza is better than lasagna!" Theo slams a hand on the table.

I keep forgetting to look up what Imouto means. He's been calling me that for so long I didn't even realize when the nickname became a common thing.

"Lasagna has a rich flavour of its own," Castle argues.

Theo actually looks enraged when he opens his mouth. "Every pizza has a different personality of its own! Every pizza can tell a person's whole life just by looking at the toppings. If there's beef, then you're probably a monster in bed. If there's chicken, then you're probably the school football captain. If there are pineapples, then you're definitely a psychopathic criminal who needs to be taken out ASAP. Pizza is God's best creation and it will continue to be until the day the dinosaurs come back to life and walk the earth again!"

"Damn," I mutter. "I've never seen someone so compassionate about pizza."

"If you're done yelling in my fucking ear, let me eat in peace." Xander grunts.

Theo responds by letting out a sharp shrill scream right into Xander's ear.

Xander winces, shutting his eyes. The whole table falls silent. Theo must've realized the sudden tension in the air too because he's quickly scrambling out of his seat, making a movement to dash from the table.

Before he takes a step though, Xander's hand snatches forward and grabs the back of Theo's t-shirt.  

And then...well, the rest is just pure chaos.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Are you a runner or a loser?

I'll always choose Lasagna <3

See you guys in the next chapter!

Words: 4,500

Date of publishing: 22nd June 2024