| 11 |

~ Banks Woods ~

I can still feel the vibrations of the engine underneath my thighs the next day. Every time I remember the way Lance looked at me with that smirk and the words he said, my heart gives a little nervous thump. I try my hardest to forget about it and focus on my work, but my mind keeps replaying last night.

Every time the door to the cafe opens, my head is the first to snap towards it, thinking it'll be Lance.

Disappointment filters through me when it's not, along with a little sense of relief.

How am I supposed to act around him now? What am I supposed to say?

I thought Lance would mess up big time during the date by making me feel uncomfortable or regretful. But he didn't. I'm glad he didn't kiss me because that would've messed up my brain further.

After hours of work, there's still no sign of him. There isn't a text message on my phone too.

I wait until lunchtime, hoping he'll show up for a coffee like he did a few times but that doesn't happen either.

Distracted by my thoughts, I don't notice the tipping cup until hot liquid splashes on the back of my hand. Searing pain flashes throughout my skin.

"Shit. Fuck." I hurry towards the sink, sticking my hand under cold water to soothe the burn.

"Are you alright?" Kaylee runs towards me. She grabs my hand, inspecting it before putting it back under the water. "Where the hell was your mind at?" She makes a concerned sound, before pulling my hand back out again. "Okay, it's not that bad. Let me get some ointment."

While she goes to fetch it, I curse myself once again. I was so invested in my thoughts about Lance that I fucking burned myself. Dropped a whole cup of steaming coffee.

I bet he's sitting nicely in his office doing office work, not thinking about me at all. Going on dates must be a pretty average thing for him if he doesn't bother showing up or even sending a text.

My feet falter when I realize something.

What if...what if that's it?

He wanted to go on a date with me since the beginning and once that happened...that's it. He realized I wasn't worth all the trouble he went through, and decided I was trashy after all.

Was there anything I did last night to put him off?

I didn't even agree to see his cat.

I acted the way I always do so he shouldn't be complaining about my behaviour.

I'll admit I'm rarely a nice person. I don't know how to talk to people without coming off as a gangster. Being nice to people is tiring. You're nice to them, and they take advantage and assert their own problems onto you.

Maybe Lance realized I wasn't worth it after all. I told him I'd fucking knee him in the balls if he kissed me. What guy wants to hear that on their first date?

Even Ben got tired of my ass when I started becoming a "bitch" to him. He said I was developing an attitude when all I wanted instead was to know why he was suddenly giving me the cold shoulder—because he was cheating, that's why.

He said he'll drop me the next second if I don't fix my tone and talk nicely, and me being insecure and emotionally attached to him at that time, did exactly that. I sucked in all my tears and pain, gathered them into one big ball and choked it down my throat. All just to please him.

Since I left Ben, I promised myself I would never hold my tongue ever again. I thought the need wouldn't have to come up because I'm done. But then Lance comes along and now I'm this position.

By the time Kaylee returns, my mood is frosty and down.

Knowing me for a long time, she instantly knows something's up. "What's wrong?"

I tilt my chin up, keeping my voice firm and low. "It just hurts."

She nods, assuming I was talking about my hand.

●・○・●・○・●

~ Lance Astor ~

While I was busy collecting roses and buying the Barney costumes along with other stuff to ask her out, I completely got distracted from my work.

For two weeks, I've been ignoring the work that was piling up on my desk, making sure to craft the perfect date proposal and the date itself for Banks.

So now, I'm stuck at my desk, going through paper after papers, emails after emails, complaint after complaints.

Dad gave me an earful for slacking off, scolding me for not handling my responsibilities. After the long two-hour phone call with him, I knew I wouldn't see him happy until I got my work done.

Which was fucking hard to do because my mind keeps flicking back to her. The way her lips part the slightest bit before she's about to say something. The way her eyebrows furrow whenever she's giving me the look.

I can still feel her body on my back, her legs clenching around my hips as she subconsciously rubbed herself against me each time I revved the engine.

I didn't know she was into that kind of stuff. Maybe she didn't realize it herself, but fuck, I was going crazy the whole time she was glued to my back.

The dinner afterwards was even more perfect when she was just sitting in front of me, looking content as ever for eating a burger.

Then the moment outside her door, when she froze completely after I mentioned the word kiss.

A groan escapes my lips when I realize I got distracted again thinking about her. Lifting up my head, I look back at my laptop and get my fingers moving.

Before I know it, the day blends into the night. By the time, I'm finally done, my neck has an ache and my fingers are cramped. My back is a little stiff too but at least I finally got two weeks worth of work done.

Shutting everything off and packing up, I stand and stretch. I glance at the huge clock on the wall to see it's 11 PM. Shit. I completely missed my chance to see Banks today. The cafe closed two hours ago. I couldn't even text her because the dumbass Theo took my phone and forgot to return it to me this morning.

Walking out of my office, I nod at Dad's assistant, before making my way downstairs towards my car.

Dad left long ago, snarking that he doesn't wait for slackers. I deserved that for ignoring my work.

Driving to my friend's restaurant, I rub the back of my neck as I walk in.

"Look who finally decided to show up," Theo calls out from the cash register.

"You missed the table wiping, you lazy fucker." Xander throws in my direction.

I glare at him. "Dad's been busting my ass this whole day for slacking off. My neck feels tight like shit." I massage it with my thumb and index finger to emphasize my point. "Also, give me back my phone."

Theo reaches under the counter and pulls out my phone, throwing it in my direction. My reflex kicks in and I quickly catch it with one hand.

"Ass," I mutter under my breath, unlocking my phone.

A pang of disappointment goes through me when I scroll through all my messages and notifications and don't see Banks' name.

Me: Hey. How's it going?

I wait for about five seconds before realizing she's probably sleeping. A sigh escapes my lips.

"I feel tired as shit today." I rub the back of my neck again, heading towards a table to take a seat. "Where's Castle?"

"In the kitchen, wrapping up stuff," Theo answers. "Let me make you a drink."

I nod in gratitude.

I pick up my phone again to see there's still no reply.

Theo and Xander slide into the seat in front of me, holding four tall glasses with white liquid in them.

Xander slides me one.

"What's this?" I furrow my eyebrows, taking a sniff of it.

"It's Castle's cum." Theo replies.

The moment the words leave his mouth, a plastic bowl hits the side of his head.

"Ouch!"

"Stop saying random shit!" Castle's standing behind the counter, glaring at him.

I laugh while Xander shakes his head.

"You threw a fucking bowl at me!" Theo picks it up and throws it back at Castle.

The latter being the least athletic of us all, fumbles with the bowl for a few seconds before managing to catch it between his hands. He sets it down before walking over and sliding in beside me, grabbing his glass of white liquid.

"So what is this?" I pick up mine.

"It's Laban." He replies.

I take a small sip before shrugging and taking an even bigger one.

"So how long is your dick, Castle?" Theo asks.

The question makes me furrow my eyebrows, but when I look at Xander, he's smirking while Castle glares.

"What happened?"

"This old lady customer complimented Castle's junk today, saying she knows he can mutilate pussys." Theo grins.

I gape in disbelief. "What? Who the fuck says that?"

"She needs to be sued for that, honestly," Xander grumbles.

"Is it true, Castle?" Theo waggles his eyebrows.

"Shut. Up." Castle's face gets visibly red.

"She even left her number." Theo fishes a piece of paper from his pocket. "I'm gonna call her back and throw a fucking fit. My dick is obviously longer."

Xander and I snort.

"I'm serious! The last time I checked it was eight inches!"

I laugh. Castle and Xander shake their heads.

"I'm serious!" Theo whines. "It's so long, it looks like a pole for strippers."

This time we all burst out laughing.

"Yeah, sure. Mine is so long, I can put it over my shoulder." I throw in.

"Mine is so long, people trip over it." Xander grins, taking a sip of his Laban.

"Mine is apparently long enough to get me numbers from older ladies." Castle shakes his head.

"You assholes suck." Theo rolls his eyes. "Mine is genuinely really long. I have a measuring tape to prove it to you."

"No, thanks." We say, immediately.

He rolls his eyes again. "If you people do ever change your mind—"

"No."

"I wonder how Holly's gonna feel once she finds out that someone checked out your dick." He goes back to attacking Castle.

He glares. "Don't you dare. She's already really possessive."

"Hey, no negativity about Mommy." Theo shakes his head in warning.

"Stop calling her that." Castle narrows his eyes.

"Mommy." Theo bats his eyelashes.

Castle huffs out an irritated breath. "Why the fuck am I friends with you?"

"Hey! I'm your number one best friend and you know it."

"Says who?" Castle scoffs.

"Says the day you let me sleep with you and Holly." Theo nods, looking proud and smug.

"Ooo," I call out while Xander rolls his eyes.

"You slept with us in our house. In different rooms." Castle grinds his teeth together.

"That's what we agreed on telling other people. You can relax here, Castle. Best friend Number Two and Best Friend Number Three are practically our family."

"I'm literally your brother." Xander elbows him.

"Don't remind me." He groans.

I laugh again. Just a silly little conversation with these guys always lightens up my mood.

Theo is definitely a weird one. He says the most random shit that doesn't make sense, and says it so confidently. I'm surprised he isn't in jail by now for offending a mass of people. I don't even understand how his brain works. Where the fuck does he get his random ass thoughts from?

"What about you, Lance? You and Banks open to having a threesome with me?"

My smile immediately drops. I glare. "Keep her away from this."

"Why not? She's definitely got the whole Mommy look too."

"Theo," I warn.

"Oh, it's all fun and games as long as it's Holly and me." Castle grumbles.

"That's different. Holly doesn't mind being called Mommy." I say. "Banks will have your head if she hears you."

"Well, where is she right now?" He makes a show of looking around before giving me a pointed look. "How is it going between you both anyway? Did you kiss yet?"

I shake my head. "I didn't get the time to see her and you forgot to return my fucking phone this morning. She's probably sleeping now."

"Do you think she enjoyed the date?" Castle asks.

I rub a hand over my jaw. "I guess so. She loosened up during the race and then we had a nice dinner. I dropped her off at her door and that was it."

"Boo." Theo gives me a thumbs-down.

"What?" I give him a confused look.

"You didn't kiss her?"

"No."

"Did she seem like she wanted a kiss?"

I tilt my head. I have no clue. Even if Banks wanted a kiss, she was too unsure and panicked in the moment to make it obvious.

I shrug. "Probably not."

"Did she text you?"

"No."

"Uh oh..." My friends chorus in a silent 'oh shit' tone.

I gaze at them in confusion. "What...?"

Theo winces, shaking his head. Castle gives me a sympathetic look while Xander plainly stares at me.

"She didn't want to kiss you. She doesn't text you." Theo drums his fingers on the table. "Sounds like someone is not interested."

I pause for a beat before speaking in an unsure voice. "It's not like that."

"Why hasn't she contacted you then?" Castle asks. "Did you do something wrong during the date?"

I tilt my head as I think. "I don't think so. No."

"You'll need to go talk to her in the morning as soon as possible. Apologize even if you did nothing wrong. Girls always want that for some reason." Theo suggests.

"You guys think something's wrong?" I ask, tentatively.

They all nod.

What the hell?

But what did I do wrong?

Confusion envelops me as I try to come up with anything that I did wrong. I come up with nothing.

Is she mad that I got her on a bike and risked her life?

She was thrilled after it though and looked happy so that's not it. She was fucking turned on by it.

Was talking about my cat a turn-off for her?

Huh.

I guess I'll have to find out first thing in the morning.

●・○・●・○・●

I'm at the cafe first thing in the morning before I head off to work. I walk through the door even though the sign says closed. I know that the sign is just there to keep people away while the doors are usually unlocked. That's how it works in my friends' restaurants too.

"Hey! Can't you see the fucking sign, you dumb blind bitc—Oh. Lance! Hey!" Kaylee greets me with a huge grin.

I nod at her. "What's up?"

"Right now, it's the ceiling. Last night, was my legs."

The reply catches me off guard. I pause on my way towards her where she's standing behind the cashier machine.

Fuck, her and Theo would be perfect for each other. Or maybe they'd be even more chaotic.

I shake my head. "I did not need to know that, but oh well. Where's Banks?"

"She's getting things from the backdoor into the kitchen. Can't get enough of her, can you?" She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"Yeah."

"If you hurt her in any way, I will make sure I ruin that pretty face so bad that you can't show it in public ever again. Get me?" She flashes me a sweet smile.

Meanwhile, my smile completely drops. My arms hang loose on either side of my body as I nod, timidly. "Of course, I won't hurt her."

"You boys always say the same thing." She waves her hand. "Whatever. I've done my job as the best friend by threatening you. Now you can go see her. Take the door to the left." She points towards it.

I nod at her, before picking my pace and walking through the door.

It leads me to the back alley where I immediately spot Banks. She's leaning over the trunk of a pickup truck, gathering something together inside a box. Her dark hair is pinned up into a bun with a lot of messy strands fanning the back of her neck and the sides of her face. She has a white t-shirt on today paired black jeans along with an apron.

I walk up to her, stopping behind her. "Hey, Ban—"

She gasps, whirling around. I smile at her only to realize too late that she's swinging her fist at me.

It slams into my nose.

Fuck.

Pain flares through my face, paralyzing my facial features. I clutch my nose, wincing as tears gather in my eyes.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Lance?" She gasps. "Didn't you already learn your lesson of sneaking up on me?" She yells.

I squeeze my eyes shut, wanting a moment to sit down somewhere or cut my fucking nose off. Warmth gushes onto my palm and I know it's blood.

"What are you doing here?" She crosses her arms against her chest, glaring at me.

"Thanks for apologizing."

"You should've known better than to sneak up on me. I'm not apologizing." She says, stubbornly.

"I didn't mean to. Fuck." I wince when another flare of pain spreads throughout my nose. "Can I get an ice cube or something?" I ask when she simply stands there, staring at me.

She looks at me, up and down, before walking towards the door I came out through. I follow her.

She leads me into the kitchen and points towards the counter for me to sit while she opens the fridge.

I slide onto the counter just as she comes back holding a plastic zipper bag with ice filled inside.

"Thanks," I mutter, taking it from her and holding it to my nose. "Can I have a tissue too?"

She gives me a narrow-eyed look, before grabbing a couple of tissues from behind and handing it to me.

While cleaning my nose, I take another look at her expression and furrow my eyebrows in confusion. Does she look mad? Why does she look mad? I should be the one who's mad. She broke my nose. Again.

Yet she's standing there with her arms crossed and a closed-off, annoyed, look on her face.

"What's wrong?" My voice comes out funny with the way I'm holding my nose shut.

"You're the one with the broken nose. You tell me." She replies, impassively.

Her reply confuses me further, and maybe I get a little annoyed too. Why is she suddenly giving me the cold shoulder?

I gaze at her, trying to figure out what's wrong. My eyes catch onto a white gauze wrapped around her hand.

"What happened?"

She glances at her hand before shrugging. "Burned myself."

"Are you okay?"

She tilts her head at me, narrowing her eyes as if I said something she didn't like.

What? What am I doing?

I feel ridiculous sitting with an ice pack to my bleeding nose while she stands there with her annoyed and skeptical look.

"I'm okay."

Okay...

I spend a few seconds cleaning my nose and stop the bleeding, ignoring the way she's staring at me. I need a moment. Jesus Christ.

The whole night I've been unable to sleep, thinking I did something wrong. She never even replied to my texts. This morning, I hurried through my shower, and morning routine to get here as soon as I can to find out, but then she punches my nose and acts vacant about it.

"Did I do something wrong?" I try again.

She blinks at me. Blank and emotionless.

When I stare back she squares up her shoulders as if preparing for an attack.

"Where were you yesterday?"

"What?"

"You didn't come for your coffee. Didn't even send a text. And now you're suddenly here early in the morning. For what?"

I open my mouth to respond, but she continues.

"If you want to have this on-and-off thing where I get ignored one day then showered with your thoughtfulness the next, then I don't want it. If I'm some sort of a fling to you, then fuck off, because I have zero time and energy."

"Banks. That's not what happened."

She tightens her arms across her chest as if she's shielding herself. But from what? Why is she acting as if I'm gonna attack her or something?

"I was slacking off at work because I spent two whole weeks planning the list you sarcastically gave me. My dad got mad and basically locked me in my office until I was done with my work. As for why I didn't text you, the dumbass Theo took my phone and forgot to return it to me. I did text you the moment I got it back."

She furrows her eyebrows. "You did?"

"Did you not get it?"

We both pull out our phones at the same time. My texts are still there and it's been read too. I look up at Banks to see her frowning at the screen.

"Caleb must've read your texts." She mutters. "I didn't open my chats this morning. I only kept checking my notifications."

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that I was ignoring you. I promise it wasn't like that."

Her head snaps up with a surprised look. She opens her mouth but closes it, before opening it again. "So...you weren't ignoring me?"

I shake my head. "Why would I? We had an amazing time during the date." I mean, I sure did. I thought the reason Banks wasn't texting me was because she didn't enjoy it. I didn't know she was expecting a text from me.

She bites her bottom lip, thinking. It takes a moment before finally, her arms loosen and she nods. "Okay."

"Glad to clear that out of the way," I mutter under my breath. "I think I need to go see the doctor again." I wince when I touch my nose to feel another round of pain flare up.

At that, a sheepish smile comes over Banks's lips. "I'm sorry."

"Now you apologize." I playfully roll my eyes.

She shrugs. "I was mad at you. Let me see." She walks towards me. My breath falters when she comes so near that I can smell her scent. She smells like some kind of soap and sweetness. Her big dark eyes take in my nose with a concentrated face.

Everything in the background fades away to nothing and all I can do is stare at her. The way the thick strands of her hair frames her face. The way her plump lips part. The way her eyebrows furrow with that tiny crease between them.

"...look as bad as last time."

It takes me a moment to realize she said something.

I blink. "What?"

"I said it doesn't look as bad as last time."

"It hurts very fucking much though."

She bites her bottom lip to hide a smile. "I'm sorry."

"You get off on hurting me, don't you?" I say, watching the way she fails to contain her smile.

She shrugs, then finally lets her lips tug upwards, releasing that mesmerizing smile that makes me stare.

"Can we go on another date?" I blurt.

She steps away from me, placing her hands on her hips. "No flash mob to convince me this time?"

"I was hoping my killer smile would do the trick." I flash her said smile.

She shakes her head, smiling back.

A sense of pride fills my chest at seeing those stretched lips. I should've paid someone to record this. To record her.

"Sure." She replies.

"Really?" I perk up.

She nods.

I hope off the counter, already planning a million things in my head. "I promise I won't disappoint you. And I'll text you every single hour if I can. I'm sorry that I made you feel ignored."

She shakes her head, frowning at me. "Why are you apologizing when you did nothing wrong?"

"You got mad because of me. I'm sorry I made you mad."

"Stop apologizing."

"Right. Sorry."

"Dude." She cracks a smile.

"I'm sor—I mean I'm not sorry. I am sorry for making you mad though, not for apologizing a hundred times after."

She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. "Get out of here."

●・○・●・○・●

Lance was true to his word. He did text me every hour. Sometimes twice an hour. Sometimes it's to ask me how my day is going. Sometimes it's to update me on how his day is going. Sometimes it's just random things and questions like asking what my favourite colour is or what I prefer more; "a not-so-vegetarian pizza *wink emoji*, or a not-so-vegetarian lasagna *another wink emoji*"

I changed the password to my phone to keep Caleb out of it. If he found out that I've been lying this whole time about being a vegetarian, he'd fucking flip and then make me order a thousand non-veg stuff to make up for my lies.

I place an order on a customer's table, wiping a bead of sweat from my brow. Today is crowdy as fuck. Every Monday is. People can't start their first day of week without their morning coffee. Some customers even order three cups and chug it down within four minutes.

I head back to the cash register to take another order when Kaylee calls my name.

"Yeah?" I yell back.

"You have a phone call!"

"Coming!"

We switch places with her taking an order while I pick up the cafe's receiver, holding it between my cheek and shoulder.

"Banks Woods speaking." I grab the small napkin from my apron's pocket, wiping my hands.

"Hi, this is Miss Mckinley speaking from Grand Ridge High School. Is this Caleb's guardian?"

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. A tiny feeling of dread and irritation settles in me.

Did Caleb get into another fucking fight?

I got called just three weeks ago!

"Yes, this is Caleb's guardian," I reply, trying to keep calm.

"Great. Could you make an effort to come to school, please? I think you already know why since...you know."

I can hear the judgement in her voice well and clear.

"I'll be there," I mutter.

"Thank you."

I hang up, placing my hands on the counter and releasing a sigh. Rubbing my forehead, I walk over to Kaylee who's foaming up coffees, giving her an equally tired and annoyed look.

"I'll have to take an early leave. Caleb got into another fucking fight at school and they're calling me in."

Her face twists in worry. "Oh no. Another fight?"

I nod. "I don't what's wrong with him. He wasn't a violent kid before."

"Did you try talking to him?" She asks.

"Of course I did. He doesn't give me exact answers."

"Maybe you should try talking to him gently and try coaxing him."

I raise an eyebrow.

She shrugs. "I know you're not the gentle person but maybe that's what Caleb wants for once. Maybe." She holds her hands up. "If you both start cringing then it's not my problem."

I think for a while, before reluctantly nodding. "Fine. I'll try."

●・○・●・○・●

"You stupid fucking dumbass. What did you do this time?" I hiss, speed-walking towards my brother who's sitting on the chairs outside the principal's office.

Caleb startles at the sound of my voice, his head whipping in my direction. A wince comes on his face when he notices my glare.

There's another boy sitting beside him with an orange beanie and those fancy artsy jackets. Thick blonde hair peeks from underneath the beanie as he looks over at me with green eyes. Those same eyes widen when I near, stopping right in front of him and Caleb.

He fidgets with his fingers that are painted with black nail polish that's almost chipped off. Glancing at Caleb, he nods timidly. "I-I'll get going."

Caleb nods back, not meeting his eyes.

The boy gets up hurriedly, slinging his bag over his shoulder and walking away without a backward glance.

"Who's he?" I ask Caleb.

"No one." He answers, looking down at the ground.

"Don't give me that shit." I glare. "This is the sixth time I'm being called to school. What the hell is going on?"

He gives me a tired sigh that makes my left eye twitch. "Can you just go inside and talk to the principal so we can get this over with?"

I swear to god, my fingers itch to punch his face at the tone he's giving me. The urge to yell at him gets my face red and bothered. I have to collect myself, trying my best to calm down physically.

There are other teachers and staff here and God knows what they'll think when they see Caleb's parent-less guardian yelling at him.

Glowering, I point my finger at him. "You are so done once I get out of that room."

He doesn't even bother meeting my eyes. Not even to acknowledge what I said. He just keeps his head down, hiding his face under that messy brown hair of his.

●・○・●・○・●

On our walk back to the cafe, my anger simmered down a bit. While I'm still very much open to yelling at him, Kaylee's words echo in my head.

Gentle and kindly.

Taking in a deep cool breath through my mouth, I stuff my hands in the pockets of my jacket before looking at Caleb. He's walking a step behind me, his bag hanging off one shoulder with his hands deep inside his pockets.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" I ask, surprised by how calm I sound.

"I already told you." He mutters.

Annoyance hits my face, making my eyebrows furrow, but I force myself to try again. "So someone bullied a boy and you tried helping him, and the teachers thought you were fighting with the bullies?"

He nods.

"You know you've said this every time I got called to school, right?"

"Because that's what happens every time."

I give him a skeptical look, trying to figure him out.

We reach a red light for pedestrians and stop near the crosswalk.

"The teachers saw you throwing fists and cussing at the boys you hit."

He shrugs.

I sigh, trying to be patient—which is very rare of me, since I'm never this patient or calm.

"Are you being bullied?" I ask.

He looks up, glancing at me, before looking back down on the path.

"No."

"So you're just being the saviour by picking on other bullies?"

"Yes."

I sigh again.

The pedestrian sign comes to life and we start walking again.

I have no idea what more to say. Do I believe what he's saying? Yes. But do I think there's still something he's hiding from me? Yes.

Caleb's never been a violent person. He's always been the one to hide behind me whenever something comes on. Whether it's a cat or my bitch aunt.

He can't even kill an insect without crying my name to come help him.

And now he's fighting these bullies for bullying another kid. I just don't get it.

"Do you need me to talk to the bullies?" I ask.

"Don't." He says immediately.

"Why not? You just keep being kicked out of school for hitting them back. Clearly sixth time is not your lucky charm. Maybe if I talk to them, they'll back off." And by talking I mean threatening.

He shakes his head. "Just...just don't do anything. You'll make it worst."

My left eye twitches. "Worst? Being kicked out of school six times is not worse enough for you?"

He gives me a tired look. "Banks. Please."

"No. I'm trying to help you. You know I can very well threaten those kids off."

"Don't do anything." He says, firmly, looking straight into my eyes this time. "Just don't."

I glare. "So I'm just going to let you keep getting kicked out of school? They're gonna expel you at some point."

An exasperated look comes on his face. "Can we not talk about this anymore?"

I raise an eyebrow. I can feel the irritation that I've been trying to keep low rise up into my brain. I know if I say anything else, it'll come out as a scolding. So I keep quiet, glaring at the path ahead as we reach the cafe.

Caleb doesn't waste a second to leave me, escaping to a table in the far corner. He flops down onto the chair and pulls the hood of his hoodie over his head, resting it on the table, facing away from me.

I give him one last tired look before making my way toward the counter, and grabbing my apron.

Kaylee is standing near the cash register, free of customers, looking over at me with a worried face.

"What happened?"

"He won't fucking talk to me." I keep my voice low so that Caleb doesn't hear. "He's telling me the truth, I know it, but he's also keeping things out."

"Were you calm and gentle?"

"Yes." I snap.

She gives me a pointed look.

"I'm letting my irritation out now, so yes, I was calm and gentle." I cross my arms.

She shrugs. "I guess you just need to give him time then. He'll open up soon enough."

I look over at him again. He's in the same position, hiding away from me. A feeling of helplessness washes over me, wearing away my irritation.

Am I...am I doing something wrong?

Am I lacking in some category that Caleb feels like he can't tell me things anymore?

I don't know what to do.

I know I'm not very good in the emotion department, but at least I'm always there for him. Caleb knows that. He knows it's hard for me to be emotionally open when I've been hurt before way too many times. He understands me and supports me.

The same way I understand his fears and nervousness, and know he's not one of those tough guys who are all confident and social. He physically needs me for so many things that the thought of doing something new without me gives him literal anxiety.

We fit like that. He gives me the emotional things lacking in me and I give him the strength that he lacks.

Kaylee touches my arm. "He knows he can't live without you. Don't worry, he has no one to open up to but you."

I give Kaylee a nod, showing my gratefulness. I only hope Caleb opens up to me before it's too late.

●・○・●・○・●

I crack my back after locking up the cafe and sliding the keys into my pocket. I glance at Caleb beside me.

The whole time I worked, he remained sleeping on the table with his head down. We've barely said a word since our talk on that walk this afternoon.

I clear my throat. "Guess what we're having for dinner tonight?"

"Canned beans." He replies, unenthusiastically.

I bite my lip. "I was actually going to make pasta."

His head perks up a bit at that.

I totally was not going to make pasta but watching Caleb so quiet and dull doesn't settle right with me.

"Really?"

I nod.

He furrows his eyebrows, but then shrugs, looking a little pumped now.

We turn around to leave but a hand on my arm stops me. I look at Caleb to see him staring straight ahead at someone. Looking, my heart jumps when I see a bright face smiling at us.

Lance waves at us from his car, gesturing us over.

We walk towards him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, stopping in front of his car.

"The weather predicted it's going to rain tonight. I got off work early. My dad felt bad about making me work like a horse. Anyways, want a ride?"

Before I can reply, Caleb walks past me, opening the back door of Lance's car. "Sure."

I scowl at his back, before shaking my head and getting into the passenger seat. The scent of lime and something woodsy engulfs me. The leather is warm beneath my thighs and my back snuggles into the seat comfortably.

"Don't you always go to Castle's restaurant after work?" I ask.

"They can survive one night without me. I always end up wiping half the tables for them anyways."

I blink. The image of Lance wearing his posh business suit, and wiping dirty tables is somewhat unbelievable to me.

"And maybe I wanted an excuse to see you again." He shrugs, sheepishly.

My cheeks warm at that and I force myself not to blush.

"How's it going, Caleb? You haven't said a word since you got in." Lance looks at him through the rearview mirror.

"It's cool," Caleb replies.

I look behind to see him scrolling through his phone, looking disinterested. Lance gives me a questioning look to which I shake my head at.

We reach my apartment within five minutes when instead it takes me a little over thirty minutes on foot.

Caleb gets out of the car without another word and heads inside the building.

I frown after him.

"What's wrong with Caleb?"

A sigh escapes my lips. "His school called me over today because he got into a fight. He's been acting dull ever since."

"Is there something going on?"

Usually, I don't tell personal matters to anyone except Kaylee. There's no one else to share with anyway. But something about Lance's easy voice and open face makes me open my mouth.

"I have honestly no idea. I feel like Caleb's hiding something from me, but I can't really tell what. I tried talking to him several times before but he always dodges my questions or doesn't answer me. He gives me off vibes sometimes and I really try to give him space, but I'm also worried." I cross my arms then regret fills me. "Sorry. I didn't mean to rant."

He brushes away my apology, turning fully to face me. "Maybe he's embarrassed about something."

"Embarrassed?" I furrow my eyebrows.

He nods, holding up a hand. "Speaking as a former younger brother, I did pretty embarrassing shit during my high school that I didn't want my sister to know about. I thought she would see me as the weird useless kid and think differently of me."

"But it's Caleb. He doesn't know the meaning of the word embarrassment."

"Oh trust me, we do know the meaning of embarrassment. We just decide to ignore it and pretend everything we do is on purpose. It makes us look cool that way."

I stare at him in thought. "So you think he's embarrassed about something?"

He nods. "Maybe. I don't know for sure."

"What shit did you do in high school that you were embarrassed about?"

A small shy look comes on Lance's face that takes me off guard. "I might have told everyone at my school that I sleep with older women, and that I've slept with so many of my teachers."

I frown at him.

"Hey, I thought sleeping with older women would make me look cool. Instead, It led to the cops being called, and very intense questioning of my teachers and me."

I put my hand to my forehead in defeat.

"Yeah. Yeah. I know." Lance wipes a hand down his face, looking embarrassed.

The look on his face almost makes me smile. Damn, I never thought I would ever see Lance looking shy.

He danced in a fucking Barney costume singing One Direction for me. A guy like that would be capable of doing anything else.

I sigh when I remember Caleb. "I'll talk to him once again."

He nods.

I wipe my hands on my thighs, before unbuckling my seatbelt. "I guess I'll get going then?" The statement comes out as a question. Am I not ready to leave? Why wouldn't I be?

Lance's blue eyes bore into me, fixed on my face as I make sure I have everything. He bites the inside of his cheek, before giving me a nod. "I'll see you later."

Nodding back, I push open the car door, and step out.

"Thanks for the ride."

"No worries."

I move to shut the door, but pause when a sudden urge hits me. I...I don't want him to leave yet. My brain instantly flashes red alarms in my head about the signs of getting attached, but my heart tugs forward for another glance of him.

I roll my bottom lip into my mouth, thinking hard.

"Want to come inside for a bit?" I blurt.

His gaze snaps to mine as if they weren't already staring at me.

"Yeah, sure." He wastes no second in answering. He cuts off the engine, pulling out the key and I shut the door.

Once he makes sure his car is locked and off, he follows me into the building, reaching the elevator.

The moment I'm alone and trapped inside with him then it hits me.

Shit.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did I invite him in? Is the living room even clean? I hope there isn't any laundry lying around, and God, I hope Caleb picked up his dirty underwear.

What am I even going to do inviting him inside? He'll sit on the couch...and then what? Are we supposed to talk? Am I supposed to offer him coffee? I don't have coffee though.

The rickety elevator dings open and Lance holds out a hand, gesturing me to go ahead first. I step out and take tentative steps. I don't even get mad at the wide open door that Caleb left open. Instead, my heart is beating so loud in my chest, I can feel it in my throat.

I walk in, letting Lance follow after before I shut the door.

The sound of a running tap tells me Caleb's in the washroom.

"You can sit on the couch." I point at the only couch in the living room.

While Lance walks over to it, I do a quick scan of the living room and sigh in relief when I see no underwear or laundry lying around.

"Let me just get rid of some stuff," I tell Lance before walking towards Caleb's bedroom and letting the door fall halfway shut to hide myself from Lance's view.

Finally, I take a deep breath.

Okay. It's alright. There's nothing to be nervous about. There's nothing to be panicky about. I invited him, so now I face him.

Sliding my small purse, phone and keys from my pocket, I drop them on the tiny side table Caleb has.

Pushing my hair back away from my face, I walk back out into the living room.

Caleb is out of the bathroom with a freshly washed face. He's sitting beside Lance, picking up the TV remote.

He meets my eyes and gives me a little confused look, that I know is about Lance. I shrug him off and walk towards the kitchen.

"I'm making pasta. Lance, want some?"

"Sure, why not?" He replies, relaxing on the couch as if it's his own space.

I wonder what would be happening if Caleb wasn't here.

Dismissing that thought, I got to boil the pasta and cut the vegetables. I'm not that great of a cook but I do make decent meals sometimes. Key word being sometimes.

After checking everything is in its proper place on the stove, I look back at the boys occupying the sofa, which is my bed during the night.

Lance's gaze flicks in my direction, almost casually, as if he was doing it about a hundred times. He stops when his gaze meets mine.

A smile spreads across his face and he stands up, walking in my direction. My small apartment looks so much smaller with his huge frame taking up so much space.

"Are you making a not-so-vegetarian pasta?" He whispers, giving me a teasing look.

"It's pure vegetables."

"How about we have pasta filled with meat on our next date?" His eyes glint.

My lips twitch, involuntarily. "Don't make me hate my cooking right now."

He looks over at the stove, raising his eyebrows. "Looks good."

"You don't have to lie," I mutter, glancing at the tasteless food.

"I don't even know how to cook so that looks pretty brilliant in my eyes," Lance says.

Right. He must have his own private chef or something who delivers his meals on time without fail. Suddenly a bitter feeling enters me. He's going to hate my pasta after all those perfect dishes he must have had. Whatever. It's not like I can magically produce something good.

"Is Caleb always this quiet or is it because of this morning?" Lance leans closer to whisper to me.

I look at my brother, sighing.

I expect Lance to return back to the couch but he remains standing beside me, talking and asking questions as I drain the water and prepare everything.

He doesn't ask me questions about my high school days or anything in the past which I'm grateful for. Lance's questions are more random. Something that doesn't connect to the previous questions. It's more like he's getting my view and perspective on everything.

"Who do you think is weirder? A person who can put their toe in their mouth or someone who can lick their ear?"

I grimace, thinking of either possibility. "Why would anyone wanna do that?" I ask.

"Just answer me." He gives me an eager look.

"Being able to lick your ear is awesome," Caleb says.

Both Lance and I look behind. Caleb loses his attention on the TV and is looking at Lance with interest.

"But being flexible enough to put your toe in your mouth is even better." Lance counters.

"Yeah but, a person who can lick their own ear has crossed something no other human can do." Caleb turns, facing Lance, fully.

Lance hums in thought, nodding. "Yeah, okay, I'll give you that."

"Have you watched the new Red Calls movie?"

Lance's eyes widen. "No way. It came out?"

Caleb widens his eyes in return. "Like twelve hours ago!"

Both of them snap their heads towards me in sync. "Can we watch it?"

"Is it the new horror-slash-extremely graphic one?" I furrow my eyebrows.

They nod.

Those types of movies make my skin crawl. They're literally so graphic and violent that no person should ever see. But...

Lance and Caleb peer at me with awaiting eyes, eagerness on their face.

I sigh. "Yes."

No moment is wasted as Lance and Caleb rush towards the TV to set up the movie.

●・○・●・○・●

It's strange...but equally comfortable having a completely different person in our space sitting on the carpet, eating my less-than-average decent pasta.

Maybe it's strange because it doesn't feel like something is different.

Lance and Caleb are huddled together on the floor because I don't trust them to sit on the sofa and not drop the pasta onto the sofa's fabric.

They don't care though, yelling and shouting at scenes while stabbing their forks in the air as if everything's happening in real life.

It feels unreal. Just a few weeks ago everything would've been the same, but now a twenty-two-year-old grown man is eating my pasta and yelling profanities with my brother.

Caleb gets the occasional smack from me to the back of his head when he uses profanities too explicit for his age.

When I'm done with my pasta, I get off the couch and pick up their plates when they don't show any movements to be picking them up themselves.

"Oh. Sorry." Lance notices me walking away with the plates. "But thank you!"

I nod at him, putting the plates in the sink. Returning back to the couch, I realize they won't be needing me anymore so I settle back with my phone and scroll through some posts.

I keep glancing at Lance near the foot of the couch. His blonde hair looks tousled. He's sitting with his legs crossed, leaning forward to stare at the TV screen.

When I realize I'm staring for too long, I snap my attention back to my phone, deciding to scroll through some artworks by other sketchers.

Boredom and today's exhaustion finally catch up to me, and before I know it, my vision goes blurry. I slump into the couch, letting my eyes drift close despite the loud screaming and shouting of Lance and Caleb.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Wouldn't I like to have someone sit with me in my living room eating my pasta...

SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! I got done with my two toughest exams and took a whole day nap after. I'm still so exhausted, that I nearly fell asleep three times editing this.

Hope ya'll have better schedules and getting more sleep than me <3

Words: 8,000

Date of publishing: 15th June 2024