chapter forty-three ;; one more day
third person
°☆.。.:*・°☆

Today was the day.

Jeongguk couldn't hold it back any longer. Every amount of eye contact, every moment spent with Taehyung had him almost in tears at this point, ready to break down at any moment. But he still begged and begged, pleaded for just one more day, one more time spent in hidden innocence. He didn't want it to end. He didn't want to watch the one he loves break down into oblivion as he does the same. There were tears in his eyes, staring out and across the ocean roaring and gripping onto the cliff. Jeongguk wanted it to all end, now and forever.

There was such anger and rage in the crashing waves that smashed against the dirt like his fists soon would, screaming upon the thought of Taehyung's happy smile. Jeongguk had taken things way too far, and he knew hatred was soon to come. Betrayal would be set onto his weak shoulders. Bruises from strong and rough hands littering his skin, something seen as beautiful being something so terrifying for once.

He was never anemic.

Lie after lie, fake smile after fake smile. It was driving him absolutely mad for days. The mere idea of doing such things to Taehyung brought him to his knees, a set fate. He was made to fall on his own, crumble into nothingness at the sound of a flatline. He would be on a bed and all alone, lips chapped upon repair. He would look back onto the past and curse himself for being so vain far too many times, for being too self-centered to see the truth, for being too into it all to confess.

There wouldn't be a time for a wedding band or children running around a small house. There would only be wires and the pungent smell of bleach. A smell which would burn his nose hairs and cause everything to fall, chemicals upon chemicals making his tongue go numb and throat as dry as sandpaper. He would be that of dust, finally being put in place for doing something wrong in a past life.

Knees loosely pulled to chest and head rested on small arms. A petite body had fled for three days, falling off the radar and hiding for a time of thoughts and sleepless nights, and as always, everyone else worried while he was being selfish. Text messages upon text messages, missed calls upon missed calls, voicemails upon voicemails. Sounds of a cracked voice flew through his ear as a phone was brought up to it, biting his lip with terrified tears at the reminder of everything.

"Gukkie, just talk to me. I'm so- so sorry if I did something wrong. I- Where did you go?" Taehyung sounded so weak, almost as weak as Jeongguk felt. It was always his worst fear to loose the small and lonely boy, the one who was currently turning away assured comfort.

Just one more day.

Jeongguk repeats these few words every second of every minute of every hour. He wants to keep those he loves shielded, shielded of what was bound to come. It was as if Jeongguk had no eyes, entailing to no point of view. A shaking body sat on the ground, only curling up tighter once a familiar engine pulls onto the slick stone. He was sitting so close to the edge, earning such a beautiful view that entailed death.

"One more day." He whispers with a known cry as quick footsteps jog closer. Maybe if he closed his eyes, there wouldn't be any pain.

"Jeongguk-"

"Just give me one more day, please!" Jeongguk shouts, head flying up with insane tears, "Go home, Taehyung, I'll tell you tomorrow." Those words had been said in his head for the past week.

But of course, Taehyung doesn't listen. He instead walks closer, inch by inch until his body is next to Jeongguk's. The waves continue to lap upon the other, climbing up the cliff in an attempt to finally touch human skin. A tanned and strong body slowly sits next to another, hand reaching out to clutch one that felt like absolute ice. Jeongguk felt so frozen, colder than ever before. Bruises upon bruises accumulated and Taehyung had to slightly touch each one to count how many.

"You're not anemic, are you?" The low voice whispers out a question, unimaginably scared of the given answer.

"I thought I was." Jeongguk says, sounding so cold, almost as cold as his body. He didn't even realize he was shaking, not until Taehyung carefully pulled him closer. A head rested so nicely on another shoulder, so tired and done with it all, "I was lying to myself too..."

"Then why do you bruise so easily?"

Jeongguk lost it at that, crying out tears. The water wasn't pretty salty dew, it was ugly and real salt water from tear ducts. They were a slap in the face for reality, a reminder of what he couldn't be. He couldn't be pretty to Taehyung, not anymore. Taehyung had adoringly called him pretty so many times he was afraid of losing such a possession, foolishly assuming love would go with his appearance. Jeongguk gripped onto Taehyung's shirt, roles reversed from the last time here. The cliff seemed like a place for sadness.

A scream for pain ripped through his vocal chords with a slash, making them so raw and sore. All he wanted was to sleep, a hope that everything would be okay upon awakening. Small fists slammed into the ground with such a force, which only caused them to create purple. Purple had become a least favorite color, a color of hurt and crimes. White had been stained with purple. They were wine stains on a carpet.

Taehyung stayed silent. He thinks he understands why Jeongguk fled. The younger had become broken once more, someone who hid and ran away from fears. He had become someone who turned away from a helping hand, one who was lonely by choice. The two had gone a mile only to go back two. Brown eyes watched closely while a crumbling person he loved more than anything was breaking down. Heartache wasn't a question, it was there and prominent, wanting to take the taint away from days.

"My future is as good as my mom's." Jeongguk bellows into Taehyung's chest. Thin hands clutch the shirt's material and arms with such a strong yet feeble grip.

"What do you mean?" He was too scared of finding out, wanting to give the latter one more day, wanting to stay hidden and safe.

"My white blood cells are too fast for my own good."

"Guk, just explain to me what the hell is going on." Taehyung snaps. The elder's too fed up with it all. Wind picked up at his words, only causing Jeongguk to push myself further into a warm and greeting body.

"When I left for a little while there after the whole pub thing, I- I went to the doctors, like you told me to." The young boy whispers, not able to keep any eye contact and instead looking down at his red hands.

"You told me you didn't go."

"I know I did." Jeongguk cries. His pale face scrunches up once more but tries everything possible to hold tears back with sniffs, "b-but I lied t-to you be-because I- I- I-"

"Hey, calm down."

There weren't any more days.

"They sent me to a special D-Doctor, one who works with r-really si-ck patients." Jeongguk loudly sniffs and begins to tremble, Taehyung wiping his tears for him and fighting back salty water himself, not wanting to hear the rest. For once, Taehyung was the one who feared the worst, and no one could blame him for it, "I got a piece of paper. That's the only thing I received to find out. Doctors wouldn't speak to me, they wanted me to speak with someone like you. Except we weren't with each other anymore, but then you came to the cliff a little while back, when you found me crying. I tore up the piece of paper, the one saying everything and telling me what was wrong. I destroyed it because I was scared and didn't want to believe the truth...I'm a coward." Jeongguk lifts a shaky hand, sending Taehyung a slip of paper the brunette hesitantly grabbed. There were so many words flying through his brain, so many worries and screaming pleas for this not to be the real world, "I'm sorry." Jeongguk quietly says while staring towards the ocean in such a dark luster look within.

And Taehyung's hands fumbled, more than usual, taking a painstakingly long time to open up a fatal note, one that was sure to cause such pain in which he might fall from impact. Jeongguk couldn't dare to watch, couldn't dare to see the happiness and youth finally leave his lover's face. He felt like he was destroying everything. He felt like he was creating yet another uproar within happiness and contentment, but right now, Jeongguk couldn't think of anything else but himself.

"Acute...Myeloid...Leukemia..." Taehyung whispers, wetting his lips while loudly sniffling. The three words tasted absolutely bitter.

He looked up at the sky and blinked rapidly, not daring to look at Jeongguk who longingly stared with fearful eyes. It was a known fact that if their eyes met, it would only cause a complete breakdown, something worse than anything else before. Taehyung wanted to shout. The world had become an absolute powerhouse for crushing dreams. Mother Nature was continuing her constant kill spree. A car slammed into him at the shakily written words, no more pretty cursive any longer. Taehyung was simply...empty.

"My b-blood cells are over-producing, and it causes me t-to get sick and hurt a- a lot easier." He takes a deep intake of breath between well known hiccups, "Tae, I- I was never anemic. I d-didn't just get fevers because I did, a-and the bruising- they were all red flags. Even- Even the r-red bumps on my- on my arm-" A choked sob passes his lips, causing his whole body to collapse. Taehyung had to quickly grab him from potentially falling off of the cliff, blurry eyes trying to focus on such a pretty person that didn't deserve what was bound to rain. Hell was coming at a fast pace, "I'm so sorry." Jeongguk wails while his beloved boyfriend guides him towards the car, wanting to take Jeongguk somewhere warm and safe, far away from the cliff.

Taehyung only kisses his head with closed eyes, pulling the seventeen year old boy into his shaking yet warm arms, such a safe haven. The two of them want to go back, want to make it so they met earlier, so they fell in love earlier. Both wanted a way to spend happy and cherished time together instead of a hospital bed and aching hearts. Three taps on a thin and pale arm, three taps meaning safety and so many I love you's that wouldn't dare to be spoken.

"It's not your fault." Then, the tears finally came, blocked off from spilling. Taehyung had learned never crying is the worst thing you could do. He didn't want to block Jeongguk off. He wanted to show the shaking boy there was so much care and nurture stored inside, "It's just acute, Gukkie. There's still a good chance of you living." His eyes lightly close shut, mouth against a forehead, "I'm going to be here, and I always will be here." A quivering body continued to shake, staying quiet while tears fell with muted and choked sobs, "Let me take you home, to our home."

Taehyung couldn't tell if he was reassuring Jeongguk or himself.

----

songs:

•white blood - oh wonder

•flesh and bone - keaton henson

i hope that this was a good and realistic way to write something along these lines