chapter twenty-four ;; fever
jeongguk's perspective
°☆.。.:*・°☆

"Jeongguk." A distant voice calls out, taking me away from the darkness that no longer consisted a dream of a bath bomb sky. What a shame, I was expecting to soar with Mr. Tan again but instead got my hopes up for nothing, "Hey, it's time to wake up." Fingertips brush my damp forehead, quickly pulling away with a hiss, "Shit, you're hot."

"Hmmm." I whine into the pillow cushioning my head that was pounding like crazy. If a fever was dancing across my body, I wouldn't be surprised one bit by the feeling in my head that spreads throughout.

"Stay here." Taehyung orders once my eyes lazily droop open. It was practically impossible to stay awake. Weakness was prominent and drew my eyes down with a haunting that reached my soul. There was no glitter and swirls of pink as my body was on fire.

The next thing I know, Taehyung's ordering me to open up my mouth which I reluctantly do in a sluggish fashion. My source of warmth was slowly pulled off of my body as it took shape of a white comforter, a loud whine breaking pass my dry lips that a thermometer clung from, "I'm cold."

"How are you cold? You feel like a thousand degrees." A sudden beep sounds, making me lightly jump and sadly stare up at Taehyung who wouldn't stop fidgeting around on the spot. He ran a quick and coarse hand through his hair that I still didn't know the texture of and loudly sighs, "You have a fever of one hundred and two point four degrees. You're staying home today, we both are...Please," Taehyung lightly touches my damp arm that was covered in sweat meanwhile I was under covers. There was currently no comfy in between for me, "get up, for me." He begs in a whispered tone.

I groan when the idea of moving comes into mind, unwillingly being pulled up by Taehyung who was holding me like a porcelain doll. Yes, I wasn't my best right now, and the doll's white skin probably matched mine, but I could hold my own and take care of myself. I'd done it many times before when I was still living without an extra limb.

"I'm fine, Taehyungie." I sounded like a baby, rubbing my eye with the back of my hand in an attempt to wake up more.

"You can barely keep your eyes open." Taehyung tenderly says with a lightness that it may have just been a day dream. Coarse skin cups the side of my face and sends currents of coolness waltzing through my body in satisfaction. A thumb runs across my cheekbone, and I purr into the touch, nuzzling into him like a kitten, "I'm staying and that's final, okay?" Nonetheless, my head nods against his will, a controlled feeling that only Taehyung held above my head like a little school girl and her crush that'd pick on her.

"Fine, stay."

Brown eyes turn into slits, finally allowing me to see Taehyung's soft smile for a face. A benevolent kiss on the cheek that he wasn't latching onto briskly follows, and I dumbly smile like a drunk, adoring the feeling. It reminded me that not all of Taehyung was rough, his lips being a strong way to convey such a thing.

It seemed like we only ever did these type of things at night when the stars were high- caressing and kissing faces, everywhere but the lips -but here we were in morning with the sun beaming light down on the two of us. It was probably due to my current state, but I like to believe that's not the case.

Taehyung glances over at the clock, giving me a view of his neck before turning back towards me with a light smile, "We slept in late anyways." His smile shows teeth now, a bright rectangle placed before me that's accompanied by two crescents that crinkle and dazzle. I grin back at him, eyes bright and staring up. Taehyung's hand was still prominently felt on my face, and I secretly didn't want him to let go, "I'm going to get you some medicine and a cold rag, okay? I'll be right back." A soft kiss lands on my forehead, sending me into overdrive once he leaves the room, falling on my back and letting out a loud sigh.

"I'm completely fucked." I mumble in disbelief, running my dainty hands over my face that was on fire with the fever traveling through my blood and fighting against my cells. It also held closed, tired eyes of confusion. So much for my moral compass of not being with another just for the hell of it.

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Taehyung returns five minutes later with a cold glass of water that held lots of ice. It was foggy, covered in condensation making droplets fall down the sides. The droplets reminded me of the tears that had fallen down my own face once upon a time with Taehyung at my side, and here he was again, sacrificing his own time for me.

What alarmed me was what Hoseok had said at one point. He said Taehyung never cared for anybody but himself once when they were fighting, but here he was, doing what he's doing, slowly patting a damp and cold wash cloth on my forehead

"Take your medicine in a few minutes so I can count the hours it's been in your system a lot easier, and you can take the next two pills as soon as possible." I nod as he speaks, voice distant as he concentrates on dampening my forehead. Apparently, he also got the cup of water in order to dampen the cloth for me, and I lightly flinch when feeling the cold sensation on my neck, staring up at Taehyung with widened eyes, "Sorry," he chuckles but continues to spread the feeling across my neck, touching to the edge of my collar, "and I know that you're going to be mad at me but I need you to...um...take off your shirt."

"No."

"Jeongguk, we've been over this. I care about you and-"

"I know you do." I whisper, watching his hand slowly remove the cloth from my collarbone that showed from my shirt being so baggy and oversized.

"Then you'll understand why I need you to listen to me. I'm not letting you say no because you have a high fever and you need help so I'm helping you." Taehyung's voice was firm, scaring me down to my core. His eyes were still very loving but turned a darker shade of brown as he stared down at me. In a heap of adrenaline from his voice and the strictness of his stare, my arms slowly lift above my head, awaiting for Taehyung to take the shirt off of me.

He puts the cloth down and hooks his fingers around the hem, beginning to pull up before I intervene, "Please," I beg, looking down at him with teary eyes as my chest began to tighten, "d-don't acknowledge a-anything. Leave it be." Taehyung's eyebrows knit together as he looks up at me, lips pursed in confusion but continued after a few moments.

The shirt slowly left my torso, and the atmosphere soon became grim. It was bound to happen one day, which is probably why I'm not freaking out as much as I should, although my body still trembles while watching him stare me up and down. Taehyung's hand slowly linked with mine in the silence filled room. There was pity clear in his actions, and it made me sad, but I couldn't blame him for feeling such a way. The abused puppy you'd stumble upon while driving down city streets, that's what I was.

There was no way to mask the truth that the beautiful boy in front of me had finally seen. Taehyung didn't ask anything- He didn't speak at all. In a sympathetic move, he hooked his arm around my neck and brought my whole body down to lean into a hug. It was weird to be held while half naked, my only clothes remaining being my boy shorts, but his hands rung security while circling my back while I clutched onto him like no one else, eyes tightly shut.

A silence enclosed the two of us, a silence filled with warmth even though my tears silently fell and it was freezing inside my house, especially with me now being shirtless. Even with the damp film covering my body, a mixture of sweat and cool water, I still froze and shook into the loving embrace. The white scars littering my stomach that were inflicted by another almost blended into my skin, I was so pale at that moment with tears fleeting from my saddened eyes.

I felt no bitterness but tasted a rotten musk instead. It overpowered everything but not quite. The sweet sugary feeling of Taehyung drawing patterns on my back- the one that was bruised with new and old -was still strong and exfoliated the tough and harsh hatred towards the world, if only a sliver.

"You're such a pretty boy..." Taehyung whispers, pulling me closer to him, allowing me to nuzzle my cold nose into his warm neck, and fingers began to ghost up and down my spine. It put me in a state of peace, and I latched onto him even tighter like a koala, "You feel so warm." I only hug onto him even more, "Here." Taehyung pulls away, grabbing the damp cloth once more and putting it into the glass of water again before putting it onto my torso.

His eyes turn into concentrated ones once more, lips pursed. It looked like the same look he holds when playing football. I'd attended many of his games since the first one, paying much more attention this time and standing with beloved Seokjin, and, for once, I shouted Taehyung's name louder than Seoyun. It was liberating and caused me to pounce on Taehyung once the game was over, bruising myself from smashing into his hard and plastic padding. He was sweaty and smelled like dirt, but it was worth it once seeing him loudly laugh after tearing off his helmet.

"What are you thinking about?" Taehyung looks up at me for a moment before going back to what he was doing. The cold of the wash cloth felt amazing at the moment, masking over the heat of my body that was almost unbearable now.

"Nothing." I mumble, looking away and down at my hands, messing with the thin fingers that spread out. Taehyung hums, running his finger over a long scar that ran across almost my entire stomach. A possessive and petrified primal instinct took control over me, and what was one serene turned into fear, "Stop!" I shout at him, smacking his hand away and crawling backwards, "I told you not to acknowledge it." My voice grows weaker and cracks at the end, cursing myself for being so stupid and weak. I wanted Little Shell to be the weak one, not me.

"I-I'm sorry." Taehyung quickly says, fear and worry coursing through his eyes at a million miles per hour as he dared to crawl closer.

"Why didn't you listen to me?" I demand, anger taking over my body just like the fever currently was.

"I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me. Here, take your medicine, please." He sounded frantic, making my sharp eyes soften even though I was still angered and scared. It wasn't the fact that Taehyung had touched my scar like that, it was the questions that he must have that really worried me. With shaky hands slowly outstretching, I take the wet and slippery glass out of Taehyung's hands followed by the two blue pills that were surprisingly sweet, their hard shell of a coating making it easy to swallow, "I'm sorry." He repeats, taking the glass from me and placing it down.

I grabbed the white shirt, putting it back on quicker than ever. My voice didn't seem to work at first when I slid back into Taehyung's arms. Even though I was undeniably aggravated, my body still craved to be held by the latter like I was the most precious thing in the world, feeling like tissue paper but having the value of gold. I wanted my whole body to be gold, shiny and new. Instead, I was the beat up car in the back of the junkyard that no one would even use for spare parts.

"Stop saying sorry. I'm sorry."

"Why in the world would you be sorry?" Taehyung asks in disbelief, but I only nuzzle into him even more, my body in a ball that he held closely, legs completely bare and arms thin, "It's my fault."

"But I'm the one who expected you not to do anything. I don't blame you for anything. I can't blame you for anything. You're human. I have to remember that."

"What else would I be?"

"Someone who isn't real, someone far too good for me."

"You're kidding." Taehyung says, taken aback, "If anything, you're the one who can't be real...far too perfect."

"You speak of me as if I were of high placement."

"Small Prince." He chuckles, placing a soft kiss onto my cheek, and I lightly close my eyes with a content smile that showed no teeth.

"Kiss me." I speak, my eyes opening once more.

"Wh-What?" Taehyung pulls away for a moment, unbelievably shocked.

"We've done it before so do it now." I didn't have to say another word, because Taehyung had latched his lips onto mine.

My skin was on fire, more so than before as it was strapping and passionate. No teeth clashed but it was intoxicating enough to take all of the air out of my lungs. The diaphragm under my quivering lungs was no longer moving. It's like I forgot to breathe altogether once Taehyung's arms were felt wrapping around my small body that he powered over so easily, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold him closer.

I had no idea what this made us, but I wasn't thinking about that too deeply. In the moment, my mind and body were content with the burning fever running through my thin veins that looked blue under skin and the tight hold of Taehyung, even after our lips broke apart and foreheads touched.

Both of our breaths were unsteady from nerves, and I did all I could to not shake in his arms that wouldn't stop gripping onto me so tightly like I'd break if he'd let go, "You could get sick." I breathe, watching Taehyung's closed eyes open.

"I don't care." He smiles, letting out a breathy laugh before kissing me softly once more, one that I definitely wasn't expecting, "You're so warm. I like it."

"Glad to hear you think my suffering's attractive." I comment, fisting his shirt and pulling it close to me while staring down. Another loud laugh leaves his beautiful mouth consisting of undeniably soft lips. My eyes stared in awe, secretly loving the fact that I knew how those lips felt against mine, a thing that most don't know.

"Are you sure that you're alright, though?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I used to get sick lots before my mom died-" Eyes widen, realizing what had just slipped past lips so easily.

"It's okay." His hands running down my back were what I tried to focus on, "We can pretend that I didn't hear anything..."

I then nuzzle into his side, breathing in his scent that tasted of lemonade and allowing the drowsy fever pills to take over, feeling uneasily content before slumber.

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»ok i'm revising this now nd it's 3am so soz for any mistakes xx«

lmao they always end up kissing in the end now nd i'm casually waiting for namjoon to posses my body so i can write another update like 'tell me something' cus i'm actually proud of how poetic it was damnn