chapter thirty ;; dining table
jeongguk's perspective
°☆.。.:*・°☆

"I'm so fucking scared." I mumble into my palms that were currently covering my face. Taehyung was on his knees, kneeling in front of me while I sat on his plush bed. Coarse hands that belonged to the one and only held my waist as a way to comfort me while I was having a small heart attack.

"Hey, there's nothing to be afraid of. My mom likes you." Taehyung gently whispers and tries to get a look of my face still hidden behind dainty hands. Even though my visage was closed off, bright eyes filled with anxiety shined through gapped fingers.

It had been ten minutes since the panic attack that came out of nowhere, and I was already in regular clothes. Taehyung helped me get dressed, taking off the jersey in one swift motion after my arms were lifted. He had softly and hesitantly placed a kiss onto my collarbone that protruded out, telling me that everything was fine: that I was fine. It was sweet and sentimental, ultimately driving me insane with the subtle stare of care encrypted with pity.

He was far too kind for my own good. Taehyung should be mad at me for ruining a peaceful moment. He should be mad at me for showing weakness once more, showing that I definitely wasn't okay. He should be mad at me for acting such a way in his house. There was no need for me to freak out like I did, other than the fact of being terrified that I, Jeon Jeongguk, was just another phase or fling Taehyung would get bored of within time. But here he is, on his knees and staring up at me with pleading eyes, reassuring there's nothing to worry.

I could tell Taehyung was taken aback by my choice of words. Cursing was never an option for me, but in times like this, it seemed to be the only thing passing my lips. It reminded me of father, how he'd drink when in desperate times. Instead of having a concoction of aged wheat and plants run down my throat in hopes to drown out sorrows, I have profanities pour out of my mouth like a faucet. The words would surprise anyone as no one truly suspects someone as silent as me to have such words in their vocabulary.

"We talked to her for five goddamn minutes." My hands fall down from my face, showing creases and lines of stress and worry, "She sounded so- so cold. Did you not pick that up?" I finally look up from my lap, meeting eyes with the elder's. My were much glossier than his, and Taehyung's face was calm, "She fucking hates me, Tae."

"My mom does not hate you." He lightly smiles, taking my hands and ducking his head down to get a better look of mine hanging low, "She's like this with everyone at first, Guk. I wouldn't dare bring you into my home if I thought you'd have a tough time."

"She brought up my father, for Christ's sake!" I cry out, looking up at the ceiling with immense emotion coursing through me. Taehyung only took his hand and firmly grabbed my jaw, forcing me to look down at him. He was rough with his actions.

"She didn't mean to bring up your dad. Mom doesn't know about him, remember that." Taehyung continues with an unyielding tone, "Jeongguk, I know you're worried. I'm worried too, but you can't hide in here forever. Please, do this for me."

That's all it took. Those last few words had me slowly nodding, awaiting for Taehyung to let go of my jaw with a grip firm yet loose. Everything about Taehyung was firm. His abdominal muscles were firm; his tone always had a firm ring; his hands were firm and strong too; his lips were firm against my own at times. It all led to that one adjective, an adjective that made me swoon with love and tremble with fear.

Taehyung was a healthy mix of how the word made me feel. I loved him to no end, undeniably grateful for all that he's done, but he was also so scary. His movements and words controlled me like a puppet, directing me in his direction each and every time, and I was scared I may someday follow him in the wrong way, leaving me hurt and him untrustworthy.

"Okay." I whisper as a response, feeling each and every finger on my skin.

Instead of Taehyung letting go of my jaw at the reluctant answer once again controlled by my boyfriend's words, he brings me closer by the coarse skin, planting a kiss onto my unsuspecting lips that'd now gotten used to the soft contact. At first, Taehyung's mouth felt new and weird, but now it knew how to move against my own.

"Thank you." he quietly says with our foreheads together. Taehyung's hand drops down into my lap. Even though I was still extremely nervous to no end, knowing that what I was doing was pleasing him gave me some essence of calm.

----

"It took you guys long enough." Yoongi comments with annoyance, arms and legs crossed. He sat slouched in the wooden dining room chair, one of many around the rectangular table. Taehyung's mom wasn't there yet, leaving the three of us alone. His mom wasn't able to make it last night, "Hope I didn't walk in on anything." Yoongi mumbles with a smug smile at my reaction.

"Yoongi." Taehyung warns while pulling my chair out for me. I sit down with a hung head and flustered face.

"Oh boy, if this bothers you then just wait." Yoongi chuckles while shaking his head, "You're the one who decided to have your little boyfriend stay over for a week."

The used words hurt me in a way. I liked to believe I was more than just a 'little boyfriend' for the time being, "Jeongguk's more than that," Taehyung mumbles with prominent venom while sitting down next to me, "so don't expect another fling." He was throwing daggers at Yoongi while placing his hand onto my small thigh. It covered it completely, making for a comfortable feeling.

Yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes, "Whatever you say."

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?" Taehyung throws, no longer mumbling and instead raising his voice. My first instinct was to stay silent and slump down, playing with my own thin fingers with long fingernails I planned on painting baby blue soon. My whole body felt out of place, like I didn't quite belong here.

"Nothing, asswipe." Yoongi responds, fumbling with his fork in a rather aggressive manner.

"Keep on running your shitty mouth and I'll-"

"Taehyung and Yoongi, that's enough from the two of you. We have a guest over." Mrs. Min pulls out her own chair, sitting down in the one at the head of the table. There was four empty seats, making me wonder if there were any others joining us or if the table was naturally this empty to begin with, "I'm sorry that they're acting like this, Jeongguk." She sends a light smile towards me.

Taehyung and Yoongi share glares at each other, the tension not going down. Even after Mrs. Min's strict words to end their verbal battle, it was still mentally occurring through shared stares. Something had happened with Yoongi, and it made me sort of sad.

A coarse hand is felt on my upper thigh once again, slightly running it over my entire thigh. I looked up to stare at Taehyung, but his eyes were still trained on Yoongi. It was yet another way for reassurance, that I was more than what Yoongi had said.

"I'm sorry." He whispers into my ear once Yoongi begins to eat after Mrs. Min takes the first bite, "Please don't be mad at me." Taehyung's hand continued to move, slowly inching further up each time.

"I- I'm not mad at you, don't worry." He sighs anyways, removing his hand from my leg. It's like a weight was lifted off of my chest, allowing me to finally breathe properly once again.

"So, Jeongguk, how did you meet Taehyung?" Mrs. Min asks after moments of awkward silence.

"Uh, I'm in his English class."

"Oh, so you're a senior too?"

"No, Mrs. Min, I'm just a junior who's advanced."

"That's quite impressive."

"Thank you, Mrs. Min." I shyly smile, showing my white teeth reminding most of a rabbit.

"You're a cute one too." Taehyung and I both smile at that comment, him probably proud of himself for pleasing his mom, and me smiling out of being immensely complimented by the person I was fearing only ten minutes ago, "I'm impressed Taehyung was able to sweep someone like you away."

An eye roll from Yoongi goes unnoticed by everyone except me. I don't blame him, honestly. He was extremely excluded from the fluffy conversation and must feel awkward. I shrug my shoulders at her comment, "I don't know, it kinda just...worked out, I guess. There was no plan for me to end up with someone this year." It was the truth. If it weren't for Taehyung coming along, I would've stayed by myself for at least another year of my life.

Taehyung sends me a happy stare, adoring if I must say. There was such satisfaction and gratification imbedded into his actions. He was glad I had listened to him, something that I held with pride.

----

After dinner had ended and I was drying the dishes and putting them away as Taehyung cleaned them, Yoongi glumly walked by. He looked utterly confused and offset, a slight hang to his head and eyes always looked unamused. Yoongi was one to hide emotions, especially with facial expressions, but now, he looked down right blank.

It was saddening to watch someone who's usually so lively in their own way lose all of it at once. The temptation to go over and talk to the elder was extremely high, but when Taehyung grabbed a hold of my hand and tugged me along back to his room, it slowly left my mind. There was always a time to talk with him anyways.

----

"Jeongguk," Taehyung calls once reaching his room. The door closed behind the two of us, and as he says my name, my back reaches plush bedsheets, "you know what Yoongi said wasn't true, yes?" His low voice continues, hands resting on both sides of my head.

"O-Of course."

"Okay, I just..." His head drops into the notch of my neck, intaking my breath at the contact and the smell of familiarity as I softly nose his hair, "You mean a lot to me, Gukkie."

"And you mean a lot to me, Taetae." He smiles against my skin and leaves a chaste kiss, my fingers combing through his soft hair in a lifting haze, where my body feels lighter than usual despite the elder's weight looming over me. Maybe it's because of the lightness of his words and the radiance of his heart as it thumps against mine, "So much."

"You mean it?" He asks, finally pulling back to stare down at me.

"Completely."

Taehyung grins, most likely a stupid one, but it's hard to look stupid when you're as beautiful as he is, all tan skin and warm eyes, full of love. Then, his lips meet against mine, and his hands wrap around my wrists as my hands ball into fists, as I flutter my eyes shut; and I let the anxiety roll through me in waves.

I knew what he was doing. He was doing all he could to prove a point. Words aren't his strongest subject- unlike me -but actions are. A facial expression for him speaks a thousand words, just like a masterpiece created by Michelangelo, Leonardo, Donatello, or Raphael. Taehyung was a subject of the Renaissance, created with precision and skill. Most things he did weren't out of line, although some things were in fact out of place. He was in no way perfect, just like how Michelangelo's painting's hands were always in-proportional to the rest, but it worked and everyone went along with it for that fact. He wasn't perfect, and I admired him for that matter.

----

so much for a gd 30th chapter. kinda not rly feeling this update bt whatevs here u go *chucks words @ u*.

also thaNk you sOo much for 14k!! <33

this story is hella lit rn nd my notification box is blowing up, so i'm sorry if i'm not able to respond to any comments. i try to read and see every one, but sometimes it's too difficult now.