chapter thirty-two ;; bottled truth
jeongguk's perspective
°☆.。.:*・°☆

"Yoongi?" I worriedly call while lightly knocking on his door.

There were sounds of glass shattering and things being thrown across the room followed by slurred shouting. It was a silent Saturday, until now. Taehyung had left for the gym, and his parents were on another business trip, leaving me with Yoongi who was now throwing some kind of fit. I was unbelievably scared, shaking and wondering if I'd accidentally become a victim upon his current enraged state. Rather than shouting, my whole body was silent, other than my desperate calls for the older's name.

"I can't fucking believe this!" Yoongi shouts. A loud thump follows as he was presumably jumping around while shouting. Another sound of glass shattering breaks throughout behind the closed door.

"Yoongi, I- I'm coming in." There was no lie my shaky hands were an indicator I wasn't okay, along with the weakness of my whole body. It was undeniably casted with another fever. Taehyung didn't know of it; I didn't want him worrying about me. Now was not a time for complaining but rather a time to suck up whatever frailty claimed my small body.

I let the fluffy blanket fall from my shoulders and instead pull the flannel loosely gripping onto my torso closer. It wasn't nearly as warm, body being inflicted by a rush of cool wind, but I had to deal with it for now. My trembling hand reaches forward and twists the door knob while holding back all fragility to reveal a raging Yoongi in the process of throwing a bottle of liquor across the room.

Not again.

"What am I supposed to do?!" He shouts at the top of his lungs with slurred words. Yoongi's head throws back as he screams the words, a cry imbedded into the sound. I've never seen him look such a way, eyes hidden behind clamped eyelids. He abruptly grabs another bottle and swigs it back to allow the nasty liquid to pass down his throat.

"Y-Yoongi?" I say once more, voice quiet and the complete opposite of firm. It was nothing like Taehyung's voice used to control situations. I've never been one to control others. I'm always the one to be controlled, "Calm down, please."

"You." Yoongi instantly turns towards me with a stumble from loss of footing. He was completely drunk, and the pungent aroma of alcohol almost has me gagging. I scurry backwards at the dark tone of his voice, "Why does he have to still be hooked on you?" Yoongi whispers with a cracked tone, "Why...Why do I have to be put in this situation. I- I never asked for this..." His eyes were squinted, sounding so bewildered.

"Wh-What do you mean?" I ask with a weary tone, not fully wrapping my head around the words tumbling past Yoongi's lips that probably tasted of whiskey as they reeked of the scent.

Yoongi lets out a bitter laugh, "I'm talking about Jimin, of course." He shakes his head with an unwanted smile, "That boy is still hooked onto you, even though he denies it." There was a tone of jealousy, and it made an uneasiness fall throughout. He was covered in a mask of drunk, more than likely not realizing what he's saying. I haven't seen Yoongi all day. Taehyung told me he had left earlier. With my common sense, it was obvious this was tied to whatever happened.

"He- He is over me. Jimin said so himself." I reassuringly say. I did all I can to help the older who was utterly in a fragile state. My mind had no control over Jimin and what he does, but it made me feel bad, knowing that he may still be into me, even though Jimin said differently with such defined words.

"He lied." Yoongi bellows before taking another quick swig and losing his footing once more, "When you begin to palm someone while making out, they're not supposed to moan out someone else's name." He pulls his arm up and lets the still half full bottle fall to the ground with an aggressively loud crash, "I've lost Hoseok from telling him how I feel, and I've lost the one who I thought was over you!"

"I- I'm sorry, p-please, d-don't be mad at- at me." I beg with newly found tears. He was terrifying, pushing me further to the ground with words that ultimately bewildered my mind. Instead of the elder losing his footing which was becoming better by the second, I was the one to stumble back for a moment. My mind had convinced itself what Jimin had said was true, yet there was still a part of me that knew he wasn't speaking the truth. Jimin had lied. Why would he lie like that?

"Of course you're sorry." Yoongi looks down for a moment with an unhappy stare. "You don't even realize, do you?" He shakes his head before taking in a deep breath, "Jeongguk, you have everyone. Even Seokjin has a thing for you!" Yoongi shouts at me, the name of someone who has always been so supportive and protective running through my ears. Never did I ever think Seokjin would be spoken in a sentence like this one, "Look at you, all surprised. Such an innocent bunny, not capable of realizing that everyone wants to get in their pants."

"Seokjin does not like me." I loudly say back, suddenly angered by his words, "He is happily with Namjoon-"

"Ah, yes, Namjoon, I feel sorry for him, honestly. He didn't deserve any of this either, but here he is with the new found information. Seokjin told him Thursday, after the football game. After...After you left with Taehyung." His voice was completely slacken, the slurs coming out as well composed words again. Yoongi sluggishly walks over to the casing of whiskey bottles and grabs out a new one while twisting the cap open. A crackling sound comes with the plastic wrapped around the bottle cap being torn off.

"Why would Seokjin tell Namjoon if he knew that I was with Taehyung?" I whisper, regaining my confidence and balance once more while walking closer to Yoongi who had seemed to calm down. He hated me. It was clear in his tone unbelievably bitter, and it made goosebumps of fear roll across my skin. At least he had gained some decency, now pouring the bottled love into a plastic cup.

"Because someone told him that he doesn't like liars." Yoongi glances over at me with dilated eyes unreliably cold. He was right. One night, I spoke to Seokjin about lots of things. It was one in the morning, a time where lots of sentences are said with no filter. I'd told him about how I hated those who lied.

An unbearable silence fell between the two of us. It was only broken by glass bottles clacking around and sniffs coming from me as unwanted tears began to fall down my pale face. The new found information was impactful and extremely unbearable for me to hold. This had to be a dream, because it was far too crippling to understand. Sweat fell from my brow as the fever running throughout my body was pushed aside with the throwing of my flannel to the ground.

"It's not true." I growl between clenched teeth as my hands form fists. Yoongi takes no energy to acknowledge my words, continuing to fill his stomach with retching alcohol. My hand quickly reaches up with adrenaline, and I slap the red cup out of his hand and watch it tumble the ground. Alcohol sprayed across my clothes, but I didn't care, "You're lying to me. Taehyung is the only one who likes me."

"Keep telling yourself that. You're only lying to yourself, Jeongguk. Even Taehyung knows, and you wonder why he's always so protective with you. It's all a game, and he won the trophy." Yoongi only goes and grabs for another bottle with a stone cold stare, "He doesn't want anyone taking the thing he desires most away." I draw my lips into a tight line, understanding why he now had covered me so heavily with love bites. They were to mark me, let people know that I already belonged to someone. What used to feel comforting now feels cold and borderline robotic while thinking about the remnants of a remaining heart outline.

"I never asked for this, either." Another bitter chuckle sounds from Yoongi.

"It's the fact you were so blind to realize what you were doing. Jeongguk. You have a few people with eyes on you. People desire the idea of you with them. They all want the mysterious and small boy who resembles a girl, the one who's so poetic and artsy." He said the adjectives with sarcasm filled pain, "Like I said, you have everyone. You even have him." Yoongi bites his lip and looks down while fumbling with a bottle cap. He can't even look at me while speaking, "I told you that I liked you more than Seoyun before, but now I'm questioning that."

"Fuck you." I bark at the elder and roughly shove him as best I can, although it barely does anything.

My weak and tired body that's fever-filled has nothing to offer but pathetic excuses for damages. A shove into the wall is returned, but for once, I don't have the feeling to cry in fear, but rather that a feeling to cry from the weight held down onto my shoulders, because Yoongi is right. It's stupid of me to deny the truth, to tell myself that everything is okay.

I stay there for only a second with pain in my head from it slamming against the wall and an aching in my chest. It came all at once like a broken dam.

"I'm sorry." The almost inaudible and cracked words slip past my lips with a known cry. My body slides down the ground, tired beyond functioning, "I'm sorry for being stupid." Cry, "I'm sorry for taking everything away from you." Cry, "I'm sorry for being so blind." Cry, "I'm sorry for hurting Namjoon, for taking Seokjin away from him." Cry, "I'm sorry that Taehyung has to put up with this, put up with me." Cry," I'm sorry for living." Cry, "I'm sorry for existing." Cry, "I'm sorry for breathing." Cry, "I'm sorry for being so worthless." Cry, "I'm sorry for ruining everyone's lives because of me being a complete burden that should've died when father told me to." Sob.

"J-Jeongguk?" A low voice calls from the doorway followed by quickly paced footsteps. My whole body was numb and on fire, taken by strong arms holding me closely. The ground left, and I was instead supported by the one who didn't deserve to be put through having me on his arm, "Yoongi, what the hell did you tell him?" He suddenly roars. My eyes remain tightly shut with tears pouring out at rapid speed. Cries muffle out by the fabric of a grey hoodie that smelled like lemons.

"I told him what needed to be said." Yoongi states with confidence.

"You're drunk." Taehyung says back.

"It's bottled truth, baby." Yoongi happily says while letting the bottle filled with clear liquid in his hand slosh around.

"You're sick."

"And so are you." He smiles and bows, earning an unamused grunt from Taehyung before we both leave, my fragile fire for a body in his arms.

"I'm sorry he told you those things." Taehyung whispers into my ear, followed by a soft kiss on the cheek which only makes me cry out even more. I wasn't worthy of his soft tone anymore; I wasn't worthy of anything.

"Please, don't be sorry."

----

i just...bye

disclaimer!¡ :: as of rn, their may not be any sMuT smut [ikik kill me] cus i can't write it for shit. i'm a baby that's too uncomfortable, bUt i'll try nd do something, altho it's not v definite. sorry if any of u r disappointed...

[edit from 2021: yeahh, there's no real smut. i felt gross writing it when i was still a child (a minor) & deleted it back in 2019 i believe. a 14 y/o should NOT be writing that shit!! (imo). sorry not sorry :p.