//marc//
My mind is awake, but my body remains asleep. I don't want to think about where I am. I know it's wrong, but I wish everything that's happened in the past couple of days was a dream. I wish I was in my own bed at home. But this doesn't smell like home. It smells like the place I've broken down and been beaten down repeatedly. I hate the smell, and I know where I am,  so I keep my eyes shut and I pretend. I make my mind believe I am at home,  at peace,  and the person who's heart beats beneath my ears is not Jacob. Not anyone who'd hurt me. I pretend it's Taylor,  and he's back home,  we're making pancakes and the air smells like bacon and eggs. But it doesn't. It smells like cheap cigarettes and dirty laundry, and the shitty dollar tree three in one shampoo I know that Jacob uses. But I'm not going to think about it. As far as im concerned,  as long as my eyes are shut, I'm at home with Taylor,  planning out our breakfast. As long as I keep my eyes shut, I can't think of the person I kissed last night. As long as I keep my eyes shut, I don't have to pretend to be alive.
So I'll keep my eyes shut.
And act like I'm not here.