Best. Life. Ever.

As I repeatedly rearranged flowers in a vase, in our — let's say — cozy apartment, my mind was speaking so fast that it was one continuous buzz.

The bigger yellow poof-ball of a flower should be under the pink and purple littler ones, right?

I wish Charlie was here to help, but he and his demented 'life-partner' Dominique were eyeballing suspicious passersby at San Francisco Comic Con for one reason or another.

There was a knock at the door and, startled, I almost knocked the vase over. I steadied the vase and calmed myself.

Stop being a stupid spaz! I thought to myself. All you have to do is answer the door, send the mormon away, and wait until Rae gets back. This is going to go fine.

No, it's not, actually. Everything about this is wrong. You're in your 'cozy' apartment, you're wearing your slack-off pants, not to mention the flowers look like they were eaten, digested, and shit out by a gigantic animal! It's like you don't realize how huge this is!

"Stop! You're stressing me out!" I exclaimed aloud. I waited like someone was gonna answer. I shook my head, walked to the door, and opened it. Phil stood in front of me.

Even though we weren't teenagers anymore, the mere sight of him made me wanna 'AAAHHHGGG' and slam the door in his stupid face. But, as my shrink, Dr. Krympe, said: "Those are old emotions. Focus on rebuilding what you associate him with starting now."

"Jacky, I'm quitting working at Subway!" Phil said, like it was an achievement to just say it.

"What? Why? I mean, whatever — just leave! AHHHGGGG!"

"Why am I working there if I don't feel passionate about making sandwiches? Why, instead of pursuing my dream of... I'll figure it out, am I doing something that makes me feel dead inside?"

I rolled my eyes at Phil's attempt to be deep. "Because it pays the bills you don't have to pay because you haven't moved out of Mom's house. Unlike me." Brag. "Why don't you figure out what you want to do with your life before you quit Subway. That's what I did."

"Yeah, but look how you turned out," Phil said, gesturing to my attire.

"These are my comfy pants! I was chilling till you got here. I'm sorry if I don't put on my best corduroys whenever someone knocks on the door. Besides, I found what I like to do."

"You proof read books and check for spelling errors," he said. I nodded. "You aren't gonna do that forever, are you?"

"Pffft," I pfffted. "Yes, I am. It's the perfect job. For me and in general."

"Whatever. I do what I want." Phil crossed his arms across his chest like a disgruntled six year old.

"You sound so much like Cartman sometimes I just want to slap you," I said. The front door opened and Rae walked in, awkwardly carrying an arm-full of books.

"Jack, I hope you have popcorn, Scandal and slippers ready 'cause I am in a mood and I just wanna zone out." Rae dropped her things on the floor and wrestling her coat off. She noticed Phil's presence. "Phil! Hi, how are you, good, I'm glad."

"O-kay," Phil said, catching the vibe. "I'm gonna skedaddle. See you guys later." He showed himself out.

"Ugh," Rae murmured, cupping her face in her hands.

"What 'ugh'?" I asked.

"Today was a gigantic... stupid-ass-day!" She wasn't much with words when she had something on her mind. "The traffic was triple-manslaughter, I stepped in a puddle and now my sock is wet, and, most of all, my study-buddy Dorene is a colossal B-I-T-C-H. She's late and rude and a slacker and I could go on but if I did I would never stop! And I'm not just saying this 'cause you're the jealous type — she is literally the worst person on the planet. Ugh. Stupid Dorene. Dorene is so stupid. I hope she dies in a house fire. No, I don't. Yes — no. I've just been so stressed out lately. For no particular reason! Anyway, never mind, how was your— What are you doing?"

I was on one knee. And it wasn't because I had tripped and landed like that. I opened the small box in my hand and a subpar ring glistened in the midday light. Rae held her hands to her face and traded stares between me and the ring.

"Raegan Monty Python Regis Philbin Watters," I started. "Will you instantly make my life perfect and be my wife — or whatever you wanna call it, I don't have hang ups...?"

"No..."

I told you this was a stupid idea.

Rae squeezed her eyes shut. "...No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I was gonna do this!"

Touché.

"What?" I asked. My heart was about to throw itself off a cliff.

Rae hopped to her jacket and fished around in the pocket. She pulled out a small box and ran back, getting dow non one knee in front of me. She opened the box, and a substantially better ring caught my eye. My jaw dropped, and I didn't bother to pick it back up.

"Jackson Picasso Fire-Breathing Dragon Burdock," Rae said. "I don't know how I could possibly be happier, but I really want to be able to make the 'my wife' joke... So... God, this is happening, isn't it?"

"I think so," I said. I smacked my own face a few times. "Yeah, it is."

We stared for a second.

"Oh, right! Please! Please marry me!"

"Only if you marry me first."

"This could go on for a while," I said. We laughed. That laugh was basically a 'yes' from both of us. We traded small boxes and I put the ring on my finger promptly. She put hers on her finger.

"You are so weird," Rae said. I had put the ring on my index instead of the one literally called a 'ring finger.' I nodded with a wide grin on my face.

"So what do we do now?" she asked.

"Popcorn, Scandal and slippers, obviously."

Rae widened her eyes with excitement. "I love you so much."

"I love you more," I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. We hugged, elated about the future that waited for us.

Thanks, Obama!

------------------------------

Hi, guys!

I didn't think I would post another chapter for a while, if ever, but @fluffypandaxxo contacted me and I was immediately inspired! I'm not sure if I'll post everyday, because, technically, the book is finished, but I may post random yet pivotal parts of Jack and Rae's life for a while.

TTYL, as the youths say. :D