"...So, we were making hard eye contact at a bus stop, like, a week or something ago. I was all romantic like, 'hey, you're hot, let's go out...' And then we did," Phil said.

I couldn't believe we were listening to this. I had been rolling my eyes for eighteen minutes straight.

"Yeah," Ariel corroborated.

"Ooh, I love romance!" Willa exclaimed in seventh heaven. "What a 'meet-cute,' as they say! I 'ship' it, as they say! Philbert, have you made sure to not stop courting her even though you're practically engaged? Have you given her a compliment recently? Have you held hands? Have you had a lil' smooch-fest behind an oak tree?"

"What?"

"Hey, Rae and you have done all of that," Charlie whispered to me. "Except the oak tree part — that was oddly specific."

I nodded and sighed.

"What about YOU, Charles Wallace — do you have a flame of any kind?" Willa asked. When she spoke she was almost singing, every word in a new cadence and tone, speeding up and slowing down for no reason.

"Well, not at the moment, but I write a lot of fanfic and I post it on this website," Charlie said, ever the entrepreneur. It made me smile. "My screen name is TragicallyCharlieAnimeFan15. Check it out."

"NO WAY. SHUT UP. SHUT YOUR FACE-MOUTH," Willa commanded, jaw on the ground. "I write fanfic, too! You may know me as i_miss_bryan_HOTTIE_lol. Have you read my 118 page story about how soft Sherlock's lips feel to Watson?!"

"No, I haven't, but I will be looking it up immediately upon returning home," Charlie said, elated to find a kindred spirit. "Have you read MY fanfic about Rem and Ryuk?!"

"Nope, but I can-literally-not wait now!" Willa said. "Have you read my Fack fanfic?! Hey, that's fun to say! Fack fanfic!"

"Nuh-uh — but that is fun to say!" Charlie exclaimed. "Fack fanfic! Fack fanfic! Fack fanfic!"

"Fack fanfic!"

"Fack fanfic!"

I must have zoned out because the next minute Willa was tapping me on the shoulder.

"Ariel and Phil are life-partners, Charlie is a genius and will have no trouble finding someone, and I happen to have a super-cute guy crush at my school. But what about YOU, Jack-E-Cheese? Is there anyone who's smile you daydream of? Anyone who's mere glance will send your multiverse spinning like Tillie Walden? If there is, then friggin' tell me! Tell me!" Everything Willa did was a performance. I had to restrain myself from clapping.

"Uh." I wasn't sure what to say. I'd never had a friend group to talk about relationships with before.

"Well," Charlie intervened, "it's actually quite a dramatic story." I hung my head in embarrassment as Charlie started to tell the story to a wide-eyed Willa. "Once—"

"Ugh, nobody cares, let's talk about something else," Phil said. I agreed for once.

"Yeah, lets talk about how Rae lives just down this street!" Charlie said. We all turned our heads.

"How did you know that?" I asked.

"I stalked her on Facebook," Charlie said, avoiding eye contact.

"What?"

"Wait, Rae is the girl from the cleanup... and your friend with the bruise... the one you liked...," Willa babbled crazily, "and" — she gasped — "you aren't friends! You never were! You love her! You're girlfriends!" She squealed. "I'm so excited! Why didn't you tell me!? I could have set something up! You know what they call me? The Queen Of Romance."

Charlie's head whipped to Willa. "They call me The King Of Romance!"

"NO!" she demanded, punching his shoulder. "Shut up! We're made for each other!" They started hopping up and down, and then looked at me with puppy-dog eyes.

"C'mon, Jack, let's go get Rae," Charlie said, batting his eyelashes. "Then nobody will be left out!"

"Who's left out? Nobody's left out," I said. "Also I don't think it's the best idea. She all but told me she's gonna watch P.S. I Love You and cry."

"Oh, my god, if I see even a glimpse of Hilary Swank's sad girl house I swear I'll start bawling," Charlie said, holding his hand to his heart.

"You're balling," Willa said, smiling a toothy grin.

Charlie barked. "Got that right, girl!" Charlie said, and then turned to me. "Kiki, I told you something magical would happen tonight, and that magical thing is all six of us getting together and becoming best-freakin'-friends!"

"No! I don't want a friend group with my brother in it!"

"C'mon, we'd be like the A.V. Club. Or the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Or the Goonies." Charlie said. "The Lost Boys. The Losers Club. Team Termagant! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseeee—"

"Fine!" I gave in. "Fine. Let's go."

Charlie squealed. We started walking down the dimly lit street. Phil and Ariel fallowed behind.

Once we arrived at Rae's house, we milled around aimlessly on the sidewalk.

"So, what's happening now?" Ariel asked, monotone.

"I guess I knock on the door?" I asked. "I don't know, what do I do?" I saw the bright orange lights inside the house. No one was asleep.

Phil meandered on the yard and looked in the large front window. Suddenly he blubbered and dropped to his knees.

"Gah! I think she saw me!" he said.

"Who saw you?" Willa asked.

"Rae's mom!" Phil said.

I wasn't sure whether to run or to stay completely still, like the difference between getting attacked by a grizzly bear or a black bear. The front door swung open, and I could smell the alcohol from the boulevard. I wondered if she'd been bathing in it.

Rae's mom pointed at me.

"You!" she yelled. "Yoo-you!"

"Yuck," Charlie said, shaking his head. "A mother who gets buzzed when her daughter obviously needs her support. That's almost as gross as that time Phil and I kissed."

"What?!"

"What? Nothing. Look, your future mother-in-law is calling for you!" Charlie changed the subject. I let it slide, though it was kind of funny. I was living the best friend and brother scenario, except with a twist.

I stepped forward, and Rae's mom beckoned me even closer. I stepped up the stairs, and Charlie, Willa, Ariel and Phil watched on, entertained.

Rae's mom put her clammy hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. Her breath smelled like peach Schnapps. I didn't even know what Peach Schnapps smelled like.

"You...," she said again. Very, very drunk. "You ruined my family." She burped. "My hub-band has not come home, and my daughter isn't talking to me, and I... may have put a few away." I waited for her to get to the point, though I feared there wasn't one. "Butt... Rae was soo happy when she's with yoo. So.. I bless you. two. to. too. 2. I'm tired..."

Before I could contemplate what she just said, she started to fall over. I caught her, but she was a relatively large woman, so I started to fall too. Luckily, as if she hadn't saved me in enough ways, Rae darted down the stairs from her room and caught her mother from the other side. She yipped in exertion.

"Hi," Rae said to me.

"Hi," I said.

We stared for a second.

"Uh, sorry, do you think you could help me put my... pissed mum to bed?"

I nodded. We carried her mom to her bedroom and dropped her on the bed.

Once Mrs. Watters was snoring in the appropriate place, Rae and I closed the door and sauntered back to the front of the house.

"Sorry about that. My mum was as drunk as a skunk — or a mother."

I laughed a little.

"So what're you guys doing here?"

"We were going to get some food, 'cause we never actually ate at that dumb grown-up party," I said. "Thought you might wanna come with us...?"

"Love to," she said. I sighed, relieved I wasn't being a nuisance and a doormat at the same time.

"Great," I said. "Oh, and I think your mom said something amazing before you came to the rescue."

Rae tilted her head in that beautiful way she does.

"She said she... blessed us, or whatever. And while I don't like the religious connotation — or that she has to bless us like we can't choose for ourselves — I can't help but feel like she is cool with..." I couldn't decide between saying 'us,' 'this,' 'me and you' or 'this thang.' "You know. What's happening here."

"Um, okay!" Rae snickered. "I'll talk to her about it when she wakes up next week. It doesn't even matter... My dad emailed me. He said a lot of — really real things, and among them was that he is actually gay himself."

........yo.

"He's gay?" I said stupidly.

"Yup. That was a shock," Rae continued. "But, just like my mom blabbing to your mom about my business, it'll be funny in time."

I admired her positivity in that ironic and rare situation she was living. I stopped in my tracks and kissed her blithely. I loved how the sides of our noses would touch — like they had a love story of their own. I loved how it felt like all my problems left on summer vacation for a fleeting second. I loved her. And I still do. And I didn't just kiss her because the book is ending in 194 words, but also because it was a new era. One where we didn't need to scoot away from each other when other people entered the room, or hide behind the metaphorical/literal bulk section of the grocery store to exchange phone numbers. This new era, in a new year, and a new society (no, actually we still have a ways to go on that one) will be defined by love... or something. I'm not putting words in anybody's mouth what no hey look a bird!

"You are the most wonderfully unusual person I will ever get the honour of getting to know," I said, gazing into her eyes. They looked like a mud puddle on fire.

"I know," she said.

Ariel pouted. "So, they're, like, dating?" she asked Charlie on the boulevard.

"Oh, my god, just — just shush, Ariel. Just shhhhhh. Shh."

Rae and I shut the front door and joined the rest of the 'friend group' outside the house. Charlie shimmied his shoulders at me.

"So what did you say about kissing my brother, Chuckles?" I asked. He shimmied his shoulders somewhere else.

Once upon a time...

I met Rae.

The end... but not really. You know what I mean.

-----------------------

Yes, it's over.

At the same time as I wish I could chronicle Jack and Rae's lives until they die and after, I have so many ideas floating around the ol' noggin that I must write them down before someone else thinks of them.

I have an idea about a girl who mistakenly goes to this kinda gothic-Lovecraftian-horror style boarding school and gets caught up in romance and mystery...eh? Comment if that sounds like something you'd like to read.

I have also pondered the idea of a Charlie Chen spin-off romance story that takes place a month after the events of Preternatural, and in which Charlie falls in love with an... eccentric, lets say, girl from Rae, Willa and Ariel's school and gets himself involved with a allegedly drug-dealing principle...yes? Comment if you want this book. Comment for whatever reason you want. Comment! Bleh!

Anyway, it has been an enlightening and amazing journey to write this book. I think I learned a lot, which is good 'cause I plan to be a professional writer and I can't do that if I still suck. Comment if you think I suck. Actually, don't, I'm a fragile person.

Acknowledgements (I know this is a bit cheesy, but bare with me.) (Haha bear! I love bears!):

I would like to thank my mom, for being the best mom on earth.

I would like to thank normals, for making me want to be weird.

I would like to thank assholes, because you made me who I am and one day you will fear me.

I would like to thank Kristen Stewart, for bringing out my inner gay.

I would like to thank @fluffypandaoxo and @CrazyWeirdLatinaGirl for reading my book consistently from the very beginning.

And, finally, I would like to thank my dog, who also happens to be named Alice, for being so damn cute!

So, signing off, this is Alice Bishop, and thank you so very much for reading.