Sam was just lying on the couch, looking at the ceiling with thoughts surrounding her mind.

She thought of how nice her aunt and cousins were.

Aunt Josephine always made sure of her health. She would always be there to give her a blanket or tell her that she needs to eat already. She knows what to do after she gets a horrible nightmare. They would sit down and watch Netflix until she eventually gets to go back to sleep again.

Daniel was being so supportive. He always told her that she could take her time in telling them about what she was feeling. He told her that she wasn't broken. She was just in a place where she's apparently stuck in. A place where she couldn't get out or even comprehend what's going on.

And that's true.

She's stuck in a place where everyone was not to be trusted. A place where it's filled with nothing but water and darkness.

It's a place where she still wants to escape from.

Xendrix was being nice. He always wakes her up whenever she gets a nightmare. He's always in her room, making sure that she gets a good night sleep. He's usually sleeping beside her too. And it was... Comforting.

Weird but it wasn't a bad kind if weird.

It was just... The good weird.

"Hey, Sammy, can you please sit up?" Samantha was immediately greeted by the annoyed look in Xendrix's expression as he stared down at her. "This is still a couch and believe it or not, it's for people to sit on, not lie on."

Sam gave him a huff of breath before sitting up. Xendrix sighed dramatically and sat down beside her.

"Well, thank the heavens for your cooperation."

Sam glared at him but not because she was mad at him. No, she was just irritated.

"Do you have to be dramatic?"

Xendrix raised a brow at her. "Am I being dramatic?"

Sam just looked away from him without saying another word. Honestly, she knows that they'll just be arguing about nonsense and Samantha doesn't want to waste his time on her stupidity.

Daniel then entered the scene with a warm cup of chocolate and he saw the two sitting on the couch. Xendrix was looking at her every now and then while Sam seems to be unaware of his secret glances.

The man smiled. At times like this, he's happy that Xendrix have a good intention for Sam. He wants to help Sam because no one in this house knows how Samantha was really feeling.

No-one but him.

"What are you two doing?" He asked, announcing his presence to them.

Sam looked at him, there was a glimpse of what it seems like joy before going back to being empty. Daniel tried to hide his frown with a smile.

"Just chilling." Xendrix shrugged. He then looked at the cup Daniel was holding and raised a brow. "That for me?"

Daniel shook his head. "It's for Sam."

Sam looked back at him and shook her head, looking a bit upset.

"I-I... Y-You don't need to, Dan...  I can... Uhm..." She then ran out of words to say and she just bit her bottom lip in hesitation.

Daniel smiled. "And you need to warm up. Aunt Josephine would kill me if you get cold, plus I don't like the thought of you getting cold."

"I agree." Xendrix added making Sam sigh.

She can't argue with them. She was feeling cold and she wanted a drink but anything about food or drinks just made her feel sick deep into her stomach.

Daniel walked towards her and gave her the cup. She hesitantly took it and just muttered her thanks.

The man just smiled and bowed down to kiss the crown of her head.

That's the thing with them too. It has started days ago. Her cousins were showing more emotions than she could ever process in her mind. They started kissing her on the forehead, giving her hesitant hugs and giving her meaningful talks.

It was... Honestly comforting.

Sam hummed and took a sip of her sweet warm drink.

"Where's Aunt Josephine?"

Xendrix chuckled and leaned forward to ruffle her already messy hair. She didn't mind her hair being a mess though.

"Off to buy something." Daniel answered with a shrug. "I don't know what she's buying though."

Samantha nodded at that and took another sip of her hot chocolate.

The two just watched Sam sip her drink. They hope that they're helping her get through the pain. Truth be told, their aunt's not only buying something but she's also trying to find some therapist who could be capable enough to give Sam some help.

"How are you holding up, Sam?" Xendrix asked seriously and the girl let out a little shaky sigh.

They made it a habit to ask her about how she was feeling. At first, she tried to lie but they were so keen on seeing the lies that she spat. Besides, there was no use in lying anymore. It was futile to lie.

"I'm fine... " Sam, and with her stubbornness, said. She refuses to believe that lying to them was pointless.

Xendrix frowned while Daniel sighed.
"Sam... " Daniel said, his tone was soft and careful.

Samantha just stared at at her cup.

"You can trust us, Sam." Xendrix exclaimed quietly. "We won't hurt you. We just want to help."

"For now anyways." She answered them. "Sooner or later, you'll be turning your backs on me like they did."

"We won't."

"And how are you so sure?" Sam countered back, looking at Xendrix with a heated glare.

"We aren't." Daniel said softly. "But we want to help you. Don't trust us, it's okay. But we trust you to tell us what you're feeling. Don't keep it in forever. There are people who wants to help you."

Trust is a dangerous thing.

But they trust her.

They trust her so much that it hurts.

"We just want to help you. We just want to know how you're holding up, kiddo. Sooner or later, you're going to burst and it's better to let it all out than to make it into tears and nightmares, Sam... " Daniel reasoned and smiled softly at her. "But if you're not really ready yet then it's fine—"

"I don't feel so good... " choked out, feeling a bit dizzy. She hugged her cup to feel the warmth of her drink as she continued. "Everyday seems like a burden, it feels like I'm the burden and I just feel... Gloomy... Everyday and every night..."

She sighed, tears started to fill up her eyes as she looked down. The familiar feeling of guilt and shame, the regret and the unfulfilled feelings rushed through her whole body and it always hurt like the first time.

"I'm just so, so tired... "

The two really pitied her. She's been through a lot. She's only fifteen for Christ's sake! She needs to be around with her loved ones. With her friends.

Her family!

She wasn't supposed to be depressed and gloomy.

She wasn't supposed to be trapped in her little world filled with nothing but her negative feelings.

Daniel sighed while Xendrix pulled her down to rest her head on his lap. He grab her cup and placed it on the coffee table.

Xendrix just started to run his hand through her hair in a comforting way while Daniel went to sit beside the end of the couch, letting her feet rest on his lap.

Sam just cried.

She was feeling tired.

Tired of everything.

But she couldn't help but admire the two brothers. They were so supportive for her. They were always there for her and they were nothing but good to her.

And it's something that's good and bad.

Good because she was starting to feel safe around them. She's starting to open up to them. They were always there when she needed them the most but that's also a bad thing because...

She was starting to get attached.

And if that happens, she'll get her trust shattered again.

She doesn't want that to happen.

She was so scared of trying again.

But that's life, isn't it?

There will always be some things in life worth living for.

Today, I pretended to be okay.