You stand in front of a full length mirror

Staring

Thinking

Sighing

Hating.

Before,

You wanted to be pretty,

Popular,

And thin.

But now,

You stopped eating,

To control.

Started throwing up,

To control.

Started losing weight,

To control.

Aiden was spiralling downwards,

And you couldn’t stop him.

So if the only thing you could control is your weight,

You would.

Katie!

Dinner!

You walk downstairs,

And sit at the table.

The house still hasn’t sold,

And your parents are officially divorced.

They stare at you,

As you stab your chicken,

With your fork.

You raise it to your mouth,

And swallow,

Every,

Bite.

They look away,

Happy,

Relived.

They think you’re okay,

Alright,

Normal.

But as you walk upstairs,

You know you won’t be okay,

Until Aiden talks to you.

You won’t be alright,

Until you throw up your dinner.

You won’t be normal,

Until Aiden is too.

So you shut the bathroom door,

And turn on the shower,

To cover the noise.

You started eating,

Because Aiden wanted you to.

But Aiden was lost,

Gone,

Dead.

In his place,

Was someone unfamiliar.

You didn’t like the new Aiden,

And you desperately try to resurrect the old one.

But you can’t.

You have no control,

Of when he will come back.

So instead,

You choose to control,

The one aspect you can.

You lean over the toilet,

And stick your fingers down your throat.

You throw up your dinner.

Just like every,

Other,

Day.

Aiden doesn’t love you.

At least,

The new Aiden doesn’t.

You thought the old one might have,

But if he did,

He would have come back.

Your three special words,

Would have revived him.

But they didn’t.

You stand up,

And wipe your mouth.

You look in the mirror,

And stare into your own eyes.

You know,

Your one step closer,

To the part,

When this doesn’t end well.