Song: National Anthem by Lana Del Rey.

Louis woke up on the last day of term with a heavy sigh that left his lips along with all the other emotions threatening to burst from his chest; disappointment, relief, sadness, excitement, fear, joy, despair. He wasn't quite sure which one of those had the strongest effect, but overall the just felt confused.

And tired. Very fucking tired.

Because it was only eight in the morning, and Harry was jumping on his bed, rocking his half conscious body from side to side like a child on Christmas Day. He groaned and swatted at his legs blindly.

"Rise and shine Tomlinson!" Harry shouted, a smile on his face that lit up the room, his eyes sparkling with mischief. He jumped with shaky legs, simultaneously dodging Louis' half assed whacks, his hands swaying through the air. "We have a long day ahead of us!"

"Not if we sleep through it" Louis groaned, shoving his face deeper into the silk pillows.

Harry's smile only faltered slightly, just for a second, before it appeared again even brighter than before, if that were even possible. He sunk down onto his knees, one either side of Louis' legs, and huffed as he stared down at him. "There's no time for sleep, only time for music and food and Christmas movies and scented candles and- oh! Gingerbread men. Lots and lots of gingerbread men. And-"

"And i think it's about time I shoved you off the bed" Louis interrupted, hiding his grin in the soft sheets he had pulled up to his lips. He finally managed to flutter his eyes open, briefly blinded by the sunlight filtering through the windows- why does Harry insist we keep the curtains open? - until his eyes focused on a pouting boy with wild curls sprouting in every direction, bare skin glowing in the light, eyes wide and scared.

"You can't shove me off the bed on the last day of term, you simply can't" Harry stated, his smile returning as Louis finally looked at him.

"And why not curly?" He asked, feigning interest, because really, if he wanted to, he could shove Harry off the bed and go back to sleep with no consequences. It almost sounded tempting, almost. But he wouldn't, because he'd still have to deal with the guilt of hurting the boy.

"Because, then you would have to go home tomorrow knowing you had hurt your friend on the last day of term" Harry replied, grinning, like it was the most obvious thing in the world and Louis should have known it. "Then, your Christmas will be ruined because of the guilt, and instead of focusing on presents and mince pies, you'll be texting me all day telling me how sorry you are"

Louis could only blink, slow and surprised, because Harry Styles is positively the most dramatic person he has ever met in his life.

"I don't even like mince pies" Is the first thing he said, earning himself a light slap to the shoulder from a scowling Harry. "I do like presents though. You got me anything?" He added cheekily, swiping his fringe away from his eyes.

"Maybe" Harry shrugged, drawing out the word, "But, say I did, you can't open it until Christmas Day"

"Oh come on!" Louis threw his head back against the pillow, which he thought was a nice touch to show off his absolute need for an early Christmas present, "Aren't you just itching to give me it? I know you love to give presents. And besides, if I don't open it today, you won't see my reaction"

"Nope" Harry shook his head with finality, scrambling up off the bed in one quick, clumsy motion, "I won't allow this. You and your manipulative ways" he shook his head and stepped away from the bed, as if putting himself at a distance away from Louis' convincing words, "You think you're so slick don't you"

"Yes, I do actually" Louis smirked up at him from the bed, and Harry just stared down at him, with narrow eyes and pinched brows and what looked like the meeting point of stubborn and relent.

"Well- not this time" Harry replied after a moment, stubborn then, and walked over to the wardrobe to chose his suit of the day. Louis wondered how he never seemed to run out, never wore a suit twice; it was an infinite supply of chiffon, lace and intricate patterns, the wardrobe being the Narnia of Gucci.

"At least tell me what it is then" Louis tucked his elbows behind himself and leant up as he continued to watch Harry, "Or shall I guess?"

"Go on then, amuse me" Harry quipped, his voice flat but his twitching smile hidden amongst pastel blues, off-white Cotten and the occasional matte leather of a jacket.

"Clothes?" Was Louis' first guess. The obvious choice of a gift from someone so fashion forward. He was sure Harry had been not so subtly dropping hints about his attire, was eager to swap out his hoodies for something more eloquent- which was ironic really, he had been the one pushing for Louis to wear what he wanted in the first place -but Louis had grown accustomed to his oversized hoodies and comfortable joggers, loved them, even, so he wasn't fond of the idea of swapping them out for corduroy flared trousers or patterned sweatshirts. It just wasn't his style.

"Nope" Harry skimmed his fingers across soft cashmere and smooth crêpe, moving along until his eyes caught on red silk, gold flecks glimmering in the light, black trims and white blossoms. He picked it out immediately.

"A years long supply of Yorkshire tea?" Louis almost sounded hopeful at the suggestion.

"No" he pulled the hanger from the rack and carefully laid out the suit on his bed, deeming it suitable for Christmas with its vibrant red material and golden details. He turned back to the wardrobe to find a shirt.

Louis sighed, "A book on meditation? Protein bars? A record player? I don't fucking know"

"Are you sure you're guessing what I've bought you, or are you listing off everything you've bought me?" Harry smirked, pulling a sheer black shirt from out of the wardrobe.

And- huh. Maybe that is what he was doing. He had absolutely no idea what Harry could have bought him. Harry was always fine materials, poetic books and designer perfumes, first he started wearing chunky gold rings and now he was fascinated by pearls. He preferred vintage goods over high tech modern, and pays monthly subscriptions for health benefitting apps that in Louis' opinion are a complete rip off.

Basically, Harry was the complete opposite of Louis in every way imaginable, so he only hoped the boy knew him well enough to pick out the perfect present. He was doubtful, but, he was sure that whatever it was, it would be interesting.

"Can't you just tell me?" Louis asked again, with the best pout he could manage.

"No" his pout hadn't worked, surprisingly, and Louis fell back into a laying position with a roll of his eyes. He would offer up a 'tell for a tell', so to speak, Harry tells him, and Louis would do the same. But he was too proud of his own present to give in so easily, didn't want to spoil it, and he wasn't sure if harry would agree to that anyway. Would probably spew some bullshit speech about doing it the traditional way, waiting for Christmas Day, so Louis would leave it at that, as much as he didn't want to wait.

"Fine, fine. You win" The words felt sour as he reluctantly pushed them past his lips; he hated losing. "What's on the agenda today then?" He sat up properly and rubbed at his eyes, his body still aching with sleep, and shivered as he whipped the duvet away from his bare skin.

"Well, we don't have classes" Harry reminded, sliding his arms into his shirt, "So anything really. Think some people are having a Christmas movie marathon in the common room, and we have Christmas dinner later on. Most people will just be packing though"

Packing. Why would you remind me? Louis hated packing with a passion. Not for the obvious reason, he wasn't lazy about it, he wasn't wishing for the maids to come running. It was the idea attached to the activity he didn't like. He didn't want to leave shelves bare for three weeks, ready to collect dust he'd have to clean once he returned. He didn't want to put space in the wardrobe and leave hangers behind, didn't want to remove books from their allocated places on the book shelf. He didn't want to take his toothbrush out of its cup, or pack cleansers and hair products into his suitcase.

He didn't want to do any of that, because then it's official, he's leaving for three weeks and he didn't want to leave. He would miss the lads, sharing a room with Harry, spending every minute of every day with them. He would miss breakfast, lunch and dinner being held in the main hall, would miss playing shitty games of table tennis when they were bored, would miss waking up to Harry's awful meditation music and the sound of students chatting in the hallway. He just didn't want to leave. One week was bad enough, three would be utter hell.

"Lovely reminder there Harold" Louis rolled his eyes as he walked over to the wardrobe in nothing but his Calvin Klein boxers. "Cant wait to go home. More studying, fancy meals 'n all that" he grumbles, yanking a hanger to the side harder than necessary, the metal screeching across the rack.

Harry's eyes softened, sending a brief, sympathetic look towards Louis, "Surely he won't make you study over Christmas?" He asked, fingers working quickly over the buttons of his shirt.

"He'll most definitely make me study over Christmas" Louis scoffed, tugging a black Burberry crew neck sweater off its hanger carelessly. "I don't mean it lightly when I say I never get a break back home" he pulled the sweater over his head.

Harry shook his head to himself, silent for a while as they went about getting ready, Louis with his sweater and loose joggers, him with his suit. "Just- call me if you need anything, yeah?" He said eventually, somewhat hesitant, "If he's stressing you out, or it gets too much, just call me, or text me, I won't mind"

Louis nodded, a tight smile stretched across his lips as he turned away from the mirror. "I will, thank you" Harry nodded in return, just about to head into the bathroom when Louis continued, "And you too. You know, if anything's getting you down, I'll be happy to talk"

Harry flashed a toothy smile, a thankful expression, and dipped into the bathroom without another word, probably to fix his hair, or to spray Tom ford's Tobacco Vanille on the bump of his Adam's apple, Louis could imagine it now, as used to the routine as Harry was just from observation.

He was pretty used to everything now, could expect certain things and predict how a day would go. On Mondays, everyone was pretty tired, as expected, and the day would go by slowly, like every second had turned into a minute and every minute had turned into an hour.

Liam would spend the day immersed in Zayn, Zayn would entertain Liam, Niall spent Mondays like he spent every day- positive, cracking bad jokes here and there, constantly wishing for a party. Louis would fall asleep in classes and Mondays were notorious for his complaints, whilst Harry was just happy to be starting a new week. On Mondays, it were as if Harry had turned into Shakespeare himself, his words a touch more poetic than usual and a metaphor in every other sentence. Louis never knew where it came from.

Sometimes they would do sporadic things that he couldn't predict, such as golf in the middle of winter; something that Louis and Harry had made a pact never to do again- it was fun in the moment- or random bursts of singing that was usually started by Niall. It was nice though, the random moments. Louis had grown to hate routine, predictability, which is what his life was based around back home.

The past few weeks since their regretful golf session had been rather boring. It was weeks filled with classes preparing for exams and nights spent finishing assignments, the occasional shopping trip on the weekends and movies playing on Louis' laptop as he and Harry shared a bed. Niall had been restless as he counted down the days until he would be able to travel back to Ireland to spend Christmas with his family, constantly complaining about work and sudden bursts of excited speeches about his cousins. Harry and Louis had adapted to Niall's ever changing behaviour, and learned that to shut the boy up you only needed to place food in his hands.

Louis had been attending his counselling sessions each week and by now was sometimes even enjoying them. It was comforting, he felt safe in that hour spent in the cosy office room, surrounded by plush cushions with the fireplace cracking besides him. Sometimes Sarah would even make him a cup of tea or the occasional hot chocolate, topped with whip cream and marshmallows that would melt atop the surface. He liked the lack of judgement. It was an hour of the week where he didn't have to second guess everything he was saying, he wasn't there to entertain others or put on a show; the attention was solely focused on him, for once, in a genuine manner.

He often worried that people only accompanied him for ill intentions; for his status, his surname, bragging rights or gossip. He expected it because of how he had grown up. They never cared about his feelings, his true personality, what music he liked, which football team he supported, his favourite animal or colour. It was always money, grades and the business. Nobody had any interest in Louis Tomlinson, only Mark Tomlinson's son.

Sarah, along with few others, made him feel more like an actual person rather than some symbol of wealth and power. She sat in her chair day in and day out listening to multiple students either rant about their problems or sit in stubborn silence. She never complained once. Never made it feel like a burden. And yes, it was her job, but Louis had no doubt that she actually did care.

That was an hour that he could talk about his father with no sense of betraying him. He could hold back tears at the thought of his mother without feeling vulnerable. He could express his opinions on Harry without worry of teasing jokes or hints of something more from the rest of the lads. It was safe, comforting, easy, and he had grown to love it.

Another thing he loved, had always enjoyed, was football, and his first match against Rotherham boarding school did not disappoint.

It was about two weeks ago, the day before snow had started to fall, so the players were lucky enough to have a cold but dry day for their match. The pitch was a little frozen, the ground too tough for their studded boots to take a full grip as they ran, but fortunately Louis didn't have any issues during the game.

As promised, Harry, along with the other lads, were stood on the sidelines ready to cheer their support. Louis had given Harry a pass on the cheer outfit seeming as it was too cold to be wearing a short, frilly skirt and a crop top, though he doubted he would've worn it whether it had been sunny or not. Instead, Harry wore a grey suit and his Gucci coat that Louis had bought him, insisting it would somehow bring him luck for the match. In hindsight, maybe it did.

Seeming as Louis was team captain, he somewhat felt a responsibility to take charge and be the mature one for once. It was his role to make sure they worked together out on the pitch, that nobody would try go solo for the sole purpose of showing off to the audience, so he pushed his differences aside as he took Jake's friends for a chat moments before the game started. They agreed that for the sake of the game they would forget about their disliking of each other. This was about claiming the win, not their petty arguments from months ago. 

In the end he was glad he had. There were a few moments where Louis would get pissed off at one of Jake's friends for losing the ball, or making a dumb mistake, and he would end up shouting profanities over the field that he couldn't bring himself to hold back. Other times it was one of them shouting at Louis, either in return to his insults or for not passing the ball, but overall those moments didn't make a difference. They left the pitch at the end of the match with a win of 5-1, three of them scored by Louis.

Harry, Liam, Zayn and Niall had congratulated him in the changing rooms after the game, with sweaty hugs and high fives. Niall blabbered on about the match for at least ten minutes, acting like a presenter as he recounted all the best moments. Zayn gave him a few short but sweet words, Liam was amazed by his technique, claiming he was the next big thing in football, and Harry saved his congrats for when they went back to their room, showing Louis all the pictures he had taken on his fancy camera.

"I can get them printed, if you'd like? We could hang them up in here, or you could take them home. I even got one of you scoring!"

Today was the last day of term before they would go home for Christmas for three weeks, and Louis was dreading it.

They started out the day like they did any other, breakfast with the lads in the main hall, only it felt different this time, to Louis anyway. As he took his seat amongst hundreds of excited students, buzzing with energy at the thought of going home, the festive joy flitting around the room, Louis felt like he was the only one savouring every minute, wishing those sixty seconds could be multiplied into thousands.

The ticking of the clock echoed in his head. He wondered if maybe, with magical powers that he knew didn't exists, he could reach out to the grand clock that stood at the front of the hall and pull the hand backwards so that he could have more time. A month, a few weeks, one, a day. He would take anything he could so long as he didn't have to go back home.

"Louis?" The snap of Liam's fingers waving in front of his eyes broke him from his daydream. "You even listening mate?" He asked, a confused smile on his face as he stabbed his fork into scrambled eggs.

"Sorry" Louis shook his head and looked back down at his plate, realising it was bare. "What we're you saying?" Harry nudged him and offered some bread, "Thanks"

"I asked if you're coming to my family's Christmas fundraiser this year? My dad sent you and your father an invitation" Liam replied, pausing to take a bite of his food, "It's on Saturday"

Louis furrowed his brows and paused for a moment, the basket of bread rolls stilling in his hands, "He hasn't mentioned anything to me about it, but probably" he shrugged, placing a roll on his plate, "I've no doubt he'll want to attend"

"Good" Liam smiled brightly, "You're allowed a plus one by the way, Zayn's mine" he added, placing a hand on Zayn's shoulder.

"Like I've got anyone to take" Louis scoffed before turning to Harry, "I mean, I'd ask you but it doesn't really seem like your thing. You know, all those posh people only there to flaunt their money. And I'd ask Niall but you're going to Ireland" he glanced at the boy, only to be waved off as Niall practically inhaled his food.

Harry let out a breathy laugh and shook his head, "You're right, it's definitely not my thing" he agreed, pouring a cup of tea, "I couldn't come anyway, I'm going back to Holmes chapel this weekend to see my mates"

"Oh" Louis nodded slowly, his lips pursed, "I didn't think you'd still go back there"

"I don't, really. Not often anyway. I haven't been back in a good few years but my friends invited me, thought it was about time" A grin appeared on his face a moment later, and he pointed at Niall, "I'll tell Ed you were asking about him"

Niall's fork dropped to the plate with a harsh clang, his eyes widening, "Ed! You're going to see Ed again? Oh my god" he quickly swallowed down his food and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "I'm coming with you"

"You're going to Ireland Niall"

"Fuck Ireland!" He exclaimed, gaining the attention of a few other students who gave judging looks, "I want to see Ed"

"What's so good about this Ed guy?" Louis asked.

"He's fucking hilarious for a start" Niall whipped his head in Louis' direction with a pointed look, "He's an incredible musician, he's the nicest guy I've ever met, and he likes golf! What's not to love?"

"Jesus Christ" Harry shook his head and rested it in his hands, "And you say you don't have a crush on him"

"He's my man crush, Harold, how could he not be?" Niall rolled his eyes with a sigh, "Ireland can wait, Ed can't"

"Niall you're not missing Christmas with your family just to see Ed, you can come with me to meet him another time. Maybe he'll come to Doncaster"

"But that will be ages away" Niall groaned, his lips tugging down into a frown, "He can't visit during term, and the next break after Christmas is in March"

"Well you can wait until March then. In the mean time you can FaceTime him or something. It's not the end of the world"

"You know, I might just have to meet this incredible Ed person" Louis stated with a tight smile, "See what all the fuss is about"

"You can if you really want to" Harry shrugged, "Just don't get as attached as Niall. Can't have all my mates leaving me for him"

"Don't worry, I'm sure he doesn't have your curls. They're too mesmerising to leave" Louis grinned, tugging lightly on a loose curl that had fallen across Harry's forehead.

"He's ginger and he most definitely does not have curls" Niall replied.

"See, no competition there then" Louis nodded, ruffling Harry's hair before pulling away.

Harry frowned and readjusted his hair, "There's nothing wrong with Ed's hair"

"Never said there was, I'm just sure it's not as nice as yours"

Harry faintly blushed and adverted his eyes whilst Niall pretended to gag, "Alright alright, I know it's the last day of term and you're probably going to miss each other, but cut it out with the mushy shit"

Zayn hummed in agreement, "Yeah, Louis. Wheres my compliments? I spent a lot of time on my hair today"

"Please. You always spend a lot of time on your hair and the result is hardly worth it" Louis shot back teasingly, refraining from laughing when Zayn pulled a shocked expression.

"You take that back!"

"Nope"

"Zayn your hair is lovely, don't listen to him" Liam offered, sending a glare towards Louis.

"Why are we talking about hair again?" Niall asked. "If we're throwing out compliments then I'm waiting for mine"

"You pretend to be a natural blonde, you don't deserve compliments" Louis replied with a sassy tone, "Unlike the rest of us who embrace natural beauty" he added dramatically, flipping his imaginary long hair away from his shoulder.

Niall was about to reply when the screeching of Zayn's chair interrupted him, "Sorry lads, gotta run" he said in a haste, wiping his mouth with a napkin as he stood up.

"Where you going?" Liam asked with furrowed brows, clutching his elbow to keep him in place.

"I said I'd help Gigi with her art project and she's about to leave" Zayn turned to leave again  when Liam squeezed his elbow. He sighed and took his hand in his own, "I'll only be an hour or two, alright? I'll meet you in the common room"

Louis and Harry gave each other a nervous glance and Liam reluctantly nodded his head. "Sure. Okay. See you later then"

Zayn smiled one last time before hurrying off towards the doors where Gigi was stood waiting. Today she was wearing a casual red dress and her hair was done up in a messy bun, some fly-aways framing her face with red lipstick painted onto her smile. Liam continued to watch the two as they embraced in a hug, biting at the inside of his lips, his breakfast long forgotten about.

They sat in silence for a moment, not entirely sure what to say or how Liam was feeling. For the past few weeks since Gigi arrived, he and Zayn hadn't been spending as much time together. They were still close, sure, but like they were once practically glued at the hip, now more often than not Zayn would disappear off somewhere with Gigi and Liam would come sulking to Harry and Louis' room.

Liam never brought it up though. He avoided questions relating to the situation, and Zayn acted like he had no idea what anyone was ever talking about, so although the lads had a pretty accurate guess as to why Liam was so burnt out all the time, they couldn't be sure. Hell, they didn't even know if the two ever actually had a thing going on, nothing was ever confirmed despite how they were clearly infatuated with one another.

"So" Louis cleared his throat awkwardly, pausing to take a sip of his tea, "Anyone started the music assignment yet?"

"What assignment?" Liam asked, finally tearing his eyes away from the doors with a clueless look- and right there was another sign. Liam was usually always on top of his assignments.

"To write a song. We have to perform them next term, a few weeks after we get back"

"Shit" Liam mumbled, a panicked look crossing his features, "I completely forgot. Have you guys started it?" His eyes flicked between Louis and Harry.

"I have" Harry replied, "Can't figure out if I like the piano variation more than the guitar though"

"You've already finished the lyric?" Louis turned to look at him with wide eyes. He hadn't even started yet.

"Yeah- well, almost. Might need to tweak it a bit as I add the instrumental" He shrugged.

"When?" Louis asked, and Harry returned a confused look, "When did you even start it? I haven't seen you writing, or playing anything"

"I usually work on it when you're at football practice, or counselling. I cant write music with any distractions, it puts me off"

"God. I'm so going to fail" Liam groaned into his hands, slumping against the table.

"I don't even know what to write about" Louis sighed.

"We haven't even been set that assignment in our music class yet" Niall grinned, setting his fork down on his empty plate. "Is there any toast left?"

Louis rolled his eyes as he handed Niall a plate of toast and the boy dug in as if he hadn't already eaten a full English breakfast.

————

Fortunately for Louis, the rest of the day dragged out slowly, but with only an hour left until everyone was sent to bed, voices grew quieter and smiles were falling, the reality of leaving friends for weeks settling heavily on chests, shoulders, heads and hearts. For Louis, all of them.

He wondered if anyone else felt like he did right now. Throat tightening, his heart sinking to his stomach, his hands shaking beneath the sleeves of his sweater. Was anyone else obsessing over a clock? Checking their phones every other minute only to feel disappointment at the sight of different numbers.

Did anyone else have an abusive father ready to collect them? One that forced them to study day in and day out, who didn't let them eat snacks and shamed them for how they looked? Did their dad's hit them when they did something wrong? Was anyone else not allowed friends? Was Louis really the only one dreading the thought of going home?

Is Harry dreading it? Leaving. He doesn't seem bothered. Perched in his chair with his legs tucked under himself. A book resting on his knees, his long fingers turning the delicate page every few minutes. His head is dipped low, curls falling into his eyes that he brushes away constantly. The orange hue of the fireplace illuminates his face, his once pale skin glowing under the flickering flames. His eyes shone green under the wisps of his eyelashes, his brows furrowed in concentration above them. Louis watched on silently from his own chair the opposite side of the fireplace.

When Harry was peaceful like this, he was as easy to read as the book in his hands. With each turn of the page, with each new paragraph he would read, Louis felt like he could hear the words of the book just from Harry's expression. When his brows pinched together, something shocking had happened. When his lips twisted as he bit the inside of them, something bad had happened. When his dimple became more prominent, and his eyes squinted ever so slightly, he was amused, something funny had happened. Maybe Harry was so immersed in the book that he had forgotten there was only an hour left before they would be sent to bed, and only a few more until they would be sent home.

That's what Louis hoped for, anyway. Because surely he must be bothered. He couldn't be the only one. Harry threw a fit when Louis left for only one week, so how could he be so calm when they were leaving for three? It didn't make sense.

"I think I'm going to head to bed" Niall announced suddenly, standing up from the couch that stretched the distance between Louis and Harry. "Going to need an early night for the travel tomorrow"

Harry finally tore his eyes away from the page, his finger marking where he left off, "So soon?" He asked, the first words he had spoken in about an hour.

"Yeah" Niall stretched, his arms rising above his head. "Heading straight for Ireland after I get picked up from the train station"

"I think I'll go to bed too, I'm getting tired" Zayn said, removing Liam's arms from around his waist.

"Now?" Liam's eyes widened slightly and his lips turned down into a frown, "Were leaving tomorrow" he added as he grasped onto Zayn's wrist, preventing him from standing up.

"Exactly, need my beauty sleep don't I" Zayn winked, ruffling Liam's hair. "I'll see you in the morning"

"Please stay" Liam asked, almost desperately, and now Louis realised he might not be the only one resenting the Christmas break. "We've still got about an hour left before bed"

"Night dickheads" Niall saluted them as he walked away, entirely unbothered about Liam and Zayn's conversation.

"If I don't go to bed now I'll end up falling asleep here and you'd have to carry me back to my room" Zayn smiled softly, trying his best to ease the pout off Liam's face.

"I have no problem doing that" Liam replied stubbornly, "Come on, we've only got a few hours in the morning and then I won't see you for ages"

"I'll see you at the fundraiser, remember?" Zayn reminded him, and Liam huffed in defeat. "You go get some rest too, I know you haven't been sleeping much lately. It'll do you good"

Only now did Louis see the deep bags under Liam's eyes. The dark circles with a hint of mauve. He did look tired, and Louis almost felt a little guilty for not realising it sooner. He never was good with the whole friendship 'thing', but if Liam was struggling with anything, he wishes he could've seen it sooner.

"I know, you're right" Liam sighed and dragged a hand down his face before plastering on a smile, "I'll go to bed soon. See you in the morning then?"

"Of course" Zayn nodded with his own smile, his thumb brushing over Liam's hand one more time before he retreated. "See you in the morning, bright and early" he winked as he backed away, nodding slightly at Louis and Harry before leaving the room.

With students from the common room long gone, and the three of them keeping their lips firmly shut, the only sounds left were the crackling of the fireplace and faint footsteps out in the hallway. Harry finally met Louis' eyes, his book still resting on his knees and Liam gnawing away at his fingernails between them, and they shared a knowing look as if to say 'somethings wrong'.

Louis flicked his eyes back to Liam, "So Liam, how have-"

"I like Zayn" Liam cut him off, abrupt and sharp yet somewhat hesitant. The words were rushed, as if they fell from his lips before his mind could even register them, like he didn't mean to say it but he knew he needed to. Like he had kept that short sentence locked up in his throat for so long that it was painful to withhold anymore.

And there it was. A confirmation of what Louis was sure everyone was already wondering, what he himself had wondered, plain and simple in just three words that he could tell took a great deal of strength for Liam to say. The signs had been obvious, Liam's attachment to Zayn couldn't be clearer than Niall's love for golf, the endearment held in his eyes whenever he looked at the boy was like that of a romance movie. But the new question was how do we go about this?

Louis looked back to Harry again to see a faint smile, he looked amused, and Louis couldn't really blame him. Liam had announced this as if they didn't already know, like it was some big secret he was sure he had concealed brilliantly. He clearly didn't know how obvious he had been.

"Yeah, we know Liam" Louis replied, repressing the grin that was threatening to appear.

"No, like, I really like him" Liam sounded more distressed now, exasperated. He leant forward and placed his elbows onto his knees, resting his chin in his hands. "Like I properly like him. I have for a while now, but I don't know what to do because he clearly doesn't feel the same and I'm going to make a fool of myself. I've tried to stop feeling like this but it doesn't go away and I don't know what to do-"

"Li, it's alright, calm down" Harry interrupted gently, his eyes softening, the amused smile dropping from his face. "Maybe he does feel the same, you won't know if you don't talk to him"

Liam scoffed and shook his head, "No he doesn't. At one point I thought maybe he did- but now he's always with Gigi, he won't stop talking about her, he doesn't spend as much time with me. It's just not the same. As soon as she arrived it all went to shit and I've got no chance against someone like her. I'd be stupid to even try"

"Don't put yourself down" Louis replied, his tone slightly awkward because- well, he had never been very good at comforting others unless they were his siblings. "It's like you said, she's just another pretty blonde girl. Nothing special"

It was bullshit, he knew. Anyone with eyes could see how stunning Gigi was, but saying that wasn't going to make Liam feel any better.

"I said that out of jealousy" Liam replied harshly, his tone bitter. "You wouldn't understand"

"I'm not gonna lie mate, but how can we understand when we know nothing about what went on between you two? You never talk about it" It felt almost as harsh as Liam had been, but it was the truth. Louis wanted to help Liam, he really did, but that wasn't possible unless he explained what happened.

Harry sent him a subtle glare before rolling his eyes back to Liam, "He's got a point Li. We both want to help but we can't if we don't know the full story" he repeated Louis' words, but his voice was careful, welcoming, soft like everything else about him. Louis thought he might as well leave this to Harry, he was clearly better at it.

"I don't know how to explain it myself" Liam breathed out a sigh and leant back into the cushions. "It's stupid. I've never even liked boys before I met Zayn. And we were so close, and we have similar interests, he's funny and kind and- fucking gorgeous" he let out a breathy laugh but it was humourless, more pitiful than anything. "Now that I think about it, he's perfect for someone like Gigi. They're the perfect match, aren't they"

Louis wouldn't admit the pang that shot through his chest once Liam had finished. Calm, content, mature Liam Payne being at a loss wasn't something you saw often. He looked utterly hopeless without Zayn by his side, and if Louis were a more rational person, he would say that Liam's dependency on Zayn probably wasn't healthy. Really, it was just sad.

"Are you sure they're together though?" Louis questioned, unable to think of anything else to reply with. It was a delicate situation and Louis could quite easily just shatter it to pieces with one wrong word.

"Fuck knows, probably" Liam shrugged, the side of his jaw twitching slightly as he stared ahead into the fire. "He's bloody obsessed with her"

"Hasn't she only been here for like, what, a month?" Harry asked, his brows pinched together, "They can't be that close already, surely?"

"I liked him after a month. I wouldn't blame her" Liam mumbled.

"Maybe they just clicked?" Louis wondered out loud, cringing at his own words a moment later when Harry shot him another glare. He felt like he could read Harry's mind right now; 'shut the fuck up you idiot!'

"It might not be anything to worry about" Harry added, as if trying to make up for Louis' comment. "They might just be really good friends-"

"You know, I think I am getting a bit tired" Liam interrupted hastily, already making he way up off the couch. "I'm gonna head to bed too. You guys have a nice night" he offered a weak smile and turned his back on them.

"Liam wait" Louis sighed, sitting up straighter in his seat as Liam paused and reluctantly turned around. "I know I'm shit with advice and- stuff. Especially with these sorts of topics. But you can always come and talk to us about anything" he gestured to Harry who nodded slowly. "Always here for you mate"

Liam never said anything, just nodded slowly, almost mirroring Harry's actions though with an entirely different expression. Compared to Harry's unsure smile and sympathetic eyes, Liam's lips were set into a deep frown and his eyes were just tired, so very tired but not just from the lack of sleep. He stilled his head and turned to leave quietly.

When there's no sight left of Liam, everything sort of just paused. Louis' eyes still haven't left the door, but he can faintly feel the burning gaze of another pair on the side of his face. He feels that he should be happy that the other lads left, giving space and time for himself and Harry with the minutes left until the day would come to an end; but all he felt was disappointment. Again. Because with others returning to their beds, eyes heavy with sleep, preparing for a long journey tomorrow, it was just another reminder that in the morning they would be leaving.

"Well, that was something" Harry broke the silence, finishing off with a yawn that he quickly hid behind his hand. "I'm not really surprised though"

Louis turned his eyes back to Harry, who was cradling his book like it was a newborn and looking at him with that same unbothered expression. How? "I don't think anyone would be surprised" he scoffed, swiping his fingers through his fringe.

"True" Harry agreed with a lazy smile, "I am a bit surprised that he's finally mentioned it though. I was starting to think we'd never hear the truth"

Louis hummed and nodded his head, "I feel bad for him. I mean, I can't relate in any way but, I can imagine how painful it must be" he shrugged, "Unrequited love or whatever"

"Yeah" Harry trailed off, looking back to the fireplace. "I just don't get it though. I was so sure that they already had some sort of thing going on, I thought Zayn would at least feel the same way even if it didn't work out" he paused and bit at the inside of his cheek, his lips turning sideways, "I mean, have you seen the way he looks at him? That's fairytale shit" he added with a quiet chuckle.

Louis couldn't stop his lips from tugging up into a smile, "I have, Harold. It seems like we're the just the comedic side characters in their dramatic love story"

"We should be the main characters, we're far more entertaining" Harry smirked, looking back at Louis, "Our arguments would go down in history"

"Agreed. Students would end up writing essays on our arguments twenty years into the future, and spark a debate on who had the most valid points" Louis grinned, "It would be me, of course"

"Oh would it now?" Harry tilted his head to the side and raised his brows, a surprised expression crossing his face, "Because your points on my meditation music being so annoying is definitely valid"

"Hey, students would relate to that, actually. No teenager wants to be woken up at seven in the morning to meditation music. They would definitely find my point valid"

"Well then. They would find your point of not making friends because your dad won't allow you to laughable. I know I did"

Louis rolled his eyes and waved him off, "That point isn't even a point anymore. We are friends"

"Yeah, I'd fucking hope so" Harry laughed, clutching his book as he stood up and made his way over to the couch, sitting almost in the middle, but not quite. As if it were an open but not spoken invitation for Louis to join him, and he did. He waited for a moment before his feet seemed to move in auto-pilot, carrying him across to the sofa like an invisible magnet was pulling him in.

He sat down and pulled his knees to his chest, quite like Harry was sitting, with his head leaning against the cushions, tilted towards Harry with the glow of the fireplace now surrounding the both of them. "When are you leaving for Cheshire then?"

"Saturday morning, why?"

"Good. You'll be at home on Friday, right?"

"Yeah. Why?" He asked again, confusion pulling at his brows.

"There's something arriving for you, needed to make sure you'd be in to receive it" Louis explained vaguely, repressing his proud smirk at the thought of what he had planned.

"What? But you don't even know where I live" Harry spluttered, his eyes intrigued, maybe even excited.

"I have my ways" Louis winked, linking his fingers around his knees.

Harry stared at him for a moment, deep in thought, until realisation hit him and his eyes widened again. "It was Niall who told you, wasn't it" it wasn't a question, of course it was Niall. "Sneaky bastard"

"Me or Niall?" Louis chuckled.

"Both of you" Harry shook his head, "Should I be worried? Is this another one of your elaborate pranks? Gotta keep it going even when you can't see me"

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Who knows?" It wasn't. It definitely wasn't. Louis hadn't been more proud of a gift since when he first bought his mum a present with his own pocket money at age eight. "You'll have to wait and see"

"Great" Harry let out a deep breath, "It'll probably kill me won't it? I'll open the box and poisonous gas will come out. Something like that"

"No, actually. My dad will be in the box and he will jump out and kill you" Louis teased, running with the joke.

"Ah, should've known" Harry clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, waggling his finger besides his head. "I suppose this will be the last time you ever see me then, once we leave in the morning"

Of course it was a joke, Louis knew that, but besides the comment about never seeing each other again, Harry had finally acknowledged the fact that they were leaving tomorrow. Just a few hours away. Louis glanced down at his watch, half an hour before bed.

"Well, too bad you won't be going to Cheshire after all" Louis weakly replied, forcing his lips into a smile, "You know, if my dad happens to attack you"

"Won't be able to tell Ed about Niall's obsession with him" Harry said, his voice quieter now, the mood shifting. The joke was fading, it wasn't funny now, because Harry had mentioned they were leaving and a conversation about it seemed unavoidable.

It almost felt too dramatic. It was only three weeks and Louis was faintly aware that it probably wouldn't be as bad as he was convinced it would be. But again, he compared it to the one week he had been home and it set his stomach twisting with worry. Each time he tried to rationalise it, telling himself it would be fine and that three weeks would fly by, he remembered how long those seven days had been and he landed in a pit of panic all over again.

"I'm so used to this place now, it'll be weird leaving" Harry said, snapping Louis from his thoughts. "Is it bad that I kind of just want to stay here for Christmas?"

"No, not at all" Louis wanted the same, "To be honest I don't want to leave" he admitted, absentmindedly picking at the hem of his sweatshirt. "And like, I can't help but feel a little guilty about it. I should be happy that I can see my family again"

Harry gave a small smile that showed understanding, "You'll be happy to see your sisters though. I cant really blame you if you can't feel the same about your dad- and you shouldn't feel guilty about that either"

"But I do. I feel like I shouldn't hate the thought of seeing him again. He's still my dad"

"But that feeling is valid if he's done something to make you feel that way. Don't dismiss everything he's done wrong as a parent just because he is one"

Why did he have to be so wise? He just had an answer for everything, didn't he. Harry styles with his smart mouth and undeniable maturity. With his strange ability to justify anything through his effortless words. This boy could make you feel at ease with just about anything, Louis was sure of it.

"I know, I do- I just. I really don't want to leave. When I'm at home, I just feel all of this pressure to get shit right and it's suffocating" He didn't know why he was saying any of this, couldn't recall the moment he had apparently become so open with Harry, but it felt like a weight was being lifted from his chest as the words left his mouth. Harry was just easy to talk to. So, so easy. "It's like I'm constantly being watched. If I say the wrong things, I'm a fuck up. If I wear the wrong clothes, I'm not put together. If I slouch when I fucking eat I'm not 'proper' enough. It's just a lot to deal with, I guess. Here everything is easy, the small details don't matter. The most I have to worry about here is my grades and they're easy enough to handle"

Harry watched him intently, nodding every so often when Louis would make a point. It was another wonderful thing about him. The way he would devote all of his attention to you when you needed it most. The little nods he would offer to show he was listening, he was hearing him, properly. Just in case for some odd reason he wasn't sure if it was clear enough already. It made Louis feel secure, like his words mattered for once and they were worth the vulnerability he was feeling as he said them.

"And it's- it's fun here. Nothings fake or for show, it's just teenagers having a laugh, you know?" Harry nodded again, "And I have people to talk to here, like you, for instance. I can't tell my sisters any of this shit, and I sure as hell can't tell my dad. It's nice here. I feel like people actually care- like you genuinely care"

"I do" Harry confirmed, gentle yet so firm at the same time. Louis believed him.

"I know you do" Louis smiled, ducking his head slightly, maybe out of embarrassment, he wasn't sure. "It's probably why I'm telling you all this"

"Hm" Harry hummed, thinking the same thing. "I'm just glad you trust me enough to tell me this shit now, that we're, like, at this point?" He said it with a questioning tone, like he was cautious of sounding too silly. "I've said it enough times, but, I am always here for you. Even if you think I wouldn't understand, or you doubt yourself, please just ignore that because I'll always try my best to understand you"

Fuck sake. Why is he like this? So warm and kind and considerate. It makes Louis wonder why he ever disliked Harry in the first place. He forced a huff, bordering on a snort, and rolled his eyes, "You're a right sap, you know that don't you?"

Harry grinned and threw a cushion towards him, "Shut it, you love my sappiness"

He would never admit that he did, but what he loved more right now was the lift of the mood. It was getting too heavy there, and Louis could never stand seriousness for too long; not since he adjusted to the school life anyway. "No, it's overbearing" he threw the cushion back, the soft fabric hitting Harry's chest.

"You try tell yourself that when you start to miss me and my sappiness over the break" He hugged the cushion to his chest, his grin softening into a smile.

"No, absolutely not. I will not miss you" Louis replied stubbornly. He wouldn't give in to those big, sparkling eyes and those fucking dimples. No, he wouldn't miss him.

"Yes you will" Harry's smile never wavered, it grew bigger, brighter, if anything. "I'll certainly miss you, and you'll miss me. You'll be wanting to come visit me in Cheshire after a few days"

"No, I'll be loving life entertaining posh socialites at Christmas balls, eating canapés and nicking flutes of champagne behind my fathers back" he could imagine it now. It's exactly what he would be doing in a few days time and he hated the thought of it. "It'll be much more fun than spending time with you in Cheshire, I've heard it's rather boring there anyway"

"It depends who you're friends with, I guess, and what part of Cheshire you live in. Some areas are more boring than others" he explained, shrugging slightly. "Really though, I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind you tagging along if you needed to, like, get away for a bit"

Louis actually laughed at that. Not that anything was funny, he was quite sure Harry wasn't joking, but it was a ridiculous idea. "And you think my father will let me go to Cheshire alone?"

"I don't see the problem with it. And you'd be with me"

"That's not the point- if anything, being with you would make him more reluctant to let me go" Harry already knew that Mark didn't like him, for a reason he wasn't sure of, but it didn't stop his smile from falling just a little, barely noticeable. "There's no way in hell he would let me go to Cheshire. I'm only allowed out the house for school, meetings and galas"

Just then a knock came at the door, and Professor Corden poked his head inside the room, "Sorry boys, but you'll have to head to bed soon" he smiled apologetically and Harry nodded his head, "You've got about ten minutes" he added after checking his watch before leaving again, pulling the door closed behind him.

Louis furrowed his brows and flicked his eyes down to his own watch. 9:50. Had time really gone that fast? It felt like the other lads had only left five minutes ago.

Harry cleared his throat, causing Louis to turn his attention back to him. "Well, if there is any chance you'd be able to come, then I mean it, you're welcome to" he offered, pink dusting his cheeks faintly as he adverted his eyes. "To be honest, I don't think I could go three weeks without seeing you"

The corner of Louis' lips twitched, threatening to pull up into a smile that he tried his best to contain. "Well aren't you sweet" is all he managed to say, because if he hadn't closed his mouth again, he was paranoid he wouldn't be able to stop the same flood of embarrassing, sappy comments he had teased Harry for earlier.

"What can I say" Harry's hands drew out to the side as he shrugged again, "I have a way with words" he said with a cheeky grin, staring at Louis with half lidded eyes.

"Ah yes, the next Shakespeare no doubt"

Harry chucked lightly for a moment until his grin softened into a smile, a thoughtful expression settling into his face as the room grew silent again. His hands rested in his lap, fingers toying with the fabric of his blazer, his book now resting besides his lap. "I really am going to miss you" he said again, almost as if he had forgotten already mentioning it.

Louis sighed, this time unable to ignore the warmth spreading through his chest, like the fire had travelled across the room and settled into his bones. He couldn't turn it into a joke again, wouldn't allow himself to even if that was his instinct; not when Harry was looking at him like that. "I'll miss you too, curly"

——————

"I want you on your best behaviour tonight" Mark lectured him firmly as they stood outside the grand, mahogany doors of the Payne's ballroom. "No snarky comments, no drinking, and I don't want you disappearing off anywhere. This is important, Louis, there's many people to impress in there"

Louis tried his best to listen, he really did, but his suit was restricting, his collar far too tight around his neck and his new, leather shoes not yet broken into. He felt overworked, tired, that much clear with the bags underneath his eyes and his posture ready to slouch. A Christmas fundraiser is not what he needed right now, not after the hell he had been through the past couple days back home.

Most students upon returning home from boarding school would be showered in affection. Maybe their mum would go put the kettle on and ask what they wanted for dinner, their dads would ask how their first term had been and congratulate them for doing them proud. Siblings would show they had missed them in a subtle enough way that it wouldn't embarrassed them, and they'd all sit around the living room like one big happy fucking family as they caught up and watched some shitty tv show.

Not Louis.

The first thing that Mark made Louis do as they returned to the manor, barely having his luggage through the door, exhausted from the journey, was have him show off in front of a few of his colleagues' snobby children.

He had felt like a puppet, immediately back under the control of his father as his strings were re-attached and his vocal chords muted. He was paraded in front of these kids like some piece of art you'd find in a museum, just there to be ogled at and picked apart, all whilst he was forced to keep the smile on his face and maintain this bullshit act of the perfect son. It almost worried Louis. Because if he was the standard these parents were setting for their kids, they would be running after nothing but a lie.

In reality, what they were seeing wasn't even possible. Perfect hair and perfect skin, pearly white teeth and a slim figure. The Louis they saw attained a sense of control over his emotions, his words, the way he walked around the room and held the attention of every single person that surrounded him. He seemingly had unlimited confidence and no struggles to battle, he had a shiny education and was a talented athlete, he held the future of a CEO and was son to one of the richest men in England. It was bullshit, was what it was. A show he put on for people like them, a show he never wanted to put on again, setting them standards he couldn't even meet himself. He felt like a complete hypocrite.

He used to love it, the attention. He loved the adoration in peoples eyes, the longing to be just like him. He loved how they would stand just that bit straighter as he walked into a room, tugging their sleeves down and hastily fixing their hair as if he hadn't already noticed their flaws. He loved how they would pronounce their words clearer so they sounded more proper, how they would nervously rant about their own achievements just to earn his approval. He had loved every bit of it.

Now though, he only felt disappointment for himself. Because he had no right to be their role model, he shouldn't be. Every single thing about him was a carefully constructed lie to gain this exact reaction from people like them. He was a living, breathing robot his father had created to earn respect, thats all. It was a sick and twisted lie only Louis knew the truth to.

"I apologise if we're a bit of a mess, Louis has just returned from boarding school. Isn't that right son?"

Louis nodded once, his lips pressed into a firm line.

"How is it there then?" One of the colleagues asked, his attention directed to Louis as he placed a hand on his sons shoulder. "I'm thinking of sending my son, Bradley, there next year"

"It's good, yeah. Uh- fine establishment" His mind raced to find his words as Mark gave him a pointed look. "I'm sure Bradley would love it there, I could show him around next year if he'd like?"

Bradley nodded immediately, excitement blooming on his face, "It'd be an honour, honestly. Thank you"

Poor kid. "No problem, I'd be easy to find if you needed any help" he forced a smile onto his face as he watched Bradley's head move into another rhythm of nods.

"You're very mature for your age, Louis. I'm sure Mark is very proud of you"

Five minutes back home and it had already been a fucking disaster. He realised that maybe he hadn't been so irrational to think that three weeks would be too long to handle.

Mark had barely given him any time to see his sisters before he was rushed off for another lecture after his colleagues had left. He had seen them huddled up by the staircase when he left the living room, eagerly waiting for the business men and their children to leave so that they could finally spend some time with their brother.

"Wait, can't I just-"

"No time" Mark interrupted, barely sending the girls a glance as he pushed Louis ahead towards his office, "We need to have a chat"

And so he watched as their smiles fell and they stepped away, little sighs escaping their lips as Louis was rushed away from them. At that moment, Louis wanted nothing more than to rip his arm from his fathers grip and run back to them. He didn't want a chat. He wanted to give them their gifts he had fortunately remembered to buy, maybe play with them for a while or watch a Disney movie they seemed to be obsessed with. He could've made them all hot chocolate and helped them decorate the drinks with whip cream and marshmallows, could've told them all about school and the lads and- Harry.

They would love Harry, he was sure of it, and Harry would probably love them. He had always said he loved kids, even if he had no younger siblings of his own, and, really, what kid wouldn't love a play date with Harry styles, he was like a kid half the time himself. Harry would probably paint their nails and play with their hair, he would definitely watch a Disney movie with them, and Louis wouldn't be surprised if he turned them all into health freaks with one session of meditation or yoga.

Harry probably had his present by now, and Louis was a little more than sad that he couldn't see his reaction. His father had taken his phone from him during their little 'chat', claiming that 'to get back on track, you can't have any distractions from your friends'. And, god, this really was going to be hell. Harry had probably texted him a hundred times by now, had probably left voicemails that no teens really left anymore. Harry was probably wondering why he wasn't replying when Louis had promised that he would.

"You'll call me, won't you?" Harry asked before they left, his tone shy accompanied by a faint blush. "I'll probably annoy you with how many messages I'll send"

"Your messages are usually quite entertaining, so it's fine" Louis assured him with a grin, "I promise I'll call you, don't worry"

He hadn't kept his promise even if he had wanted to, and now he had no idea what Harry thought of the present. It was frustrating because he had been so proud of it. He had thought hard for a long time what to buy him, his options ranging from poetry books to customised Gucci items, but the idea he landed on blew that all out the park and he couldn't even enjoy the outcome of it.

He just wanted to talk to him, just once, to see how he was doing. He wondered if he had gotten to Cheshire alright, if it was too overwhelming for him, if his friends were being nice, if maybe, he did actually miss him too. There was a good chance he wouldn't find any of this out until he returned to school, but maybe by then Harry would be mad at him.

A small spark of hope flickered away in his chest when the realisation hit him that this was the Payne's fundraiser. Liam would be here, along with Zayn, and they had their phones. They had contact with Harry.

"Are you even listening to me Louis?" Mark asked sharply, glaring down at him. A few very important looking men and women walked past them to enter the ballroom, embellished in diamonds and gold and pearls and everything Louis had grown to hate. Mark sent them a tight smile as they glanced over at the two curiously. "I can't have you embarrassing us tonight so get out of your head and perk up already. This is the biggest event we've been to in a long time" he continued with a hushed voice, his eyes darting around their surroundings.

"Yes. Yeah, i know" Louis replied, refraining from rolling his eyes. They'd already had this conversation about five different times since leaving and to be quite honest he just wanted to get the night over with. He didn't care for all these high ranking people who's only conversation interests were money. This entire event was just an excuse for people to show off their wealth and Louis' only interest was finding Liam and Zayn.

"Good" Mark replied, and then his attention is back to his surroundings as he strides ahead towards the doors, Louis shuffling along behind him as they weave between suits and dresses and jewellery that sparkled in the lights. Louis mentally prepares himself before they enter the ballroom, breathing in the scent of expensive perfumes and hairspray. His ears tuned into the sounds of heels clicking against the marble floor, classical instruments escaping from the crack in the wooden doors and the chatter of those around him.

People parted ways as the two walked ahead of the crowd, faint mumbles of their names hovering through the air, eyes lingering on their profiles. Louis shrugged off the uncomfortable feeling that swept over him as they made it to the doors, doormen ready and waiting, dressed in black tuxes.

"Good evening Mr Tomlinson" One of the men greeted them, whether it was directed at his father or himself, he wasn't sure. Probably his father. Mark nodded and they opened the doors, revealing a sight that Louis had seen countless times before, yet tonight it felt overwhelming, set unease bubbling in his stomach; he didn't need this right now.

Behind those doors was an image often only seen in movies or tv, the kind of extravagance fit for the royal family. It was gold and brown and cream and silver, the occasional blue and green of a painting hung on the walls between golden candle holders. The golden trims of the walls gleamed beneath the light of the chandeliers, hung across the ceiling in arrays of diamonds. Drinks were not only displayed by the waiters holding glasses on silver trays, but stacked in a pyramid like form in the right corner of the room. Up ahead was a stage Louis assumed was set up for the bidding later on tonight, and below it was an entire orchestra of violins, clarinets, french horns and more.

And amongst the gold and the brown and the cream and the silver, there's reds and blacks and greys and pinks, the unique colour to each individual's outfit that was important enough to receive an invite. Some of these colours were flowing through the air as bodies swayed on the dance floor, some were hovering around as strangers mingled with other strangers, and some, like Louis, weren't moving at all. Just the black of his suit stilled in position as he took in the sight of all these other colours moving.

"Mark!" The deep voice of a business man rumbled as he strode towards them, a woman clutching his arm who had clearly been enjoying the alcohol. "Glad you could make it, and you, Louis"

Louis faintly remembered his name to be something like George, maybe greg, he had met so many people like him that he couldn't remember exactly. "Thank you" he replied, with his best posh accent that now he felt stupid using. The man smiled at him approvingly before jumping into a boring, business related conversation with Mark, and Louis chose that moment to tune himself out again- at least until he would have to greet the next colleague.

It seemed that they couldn't even take two steps before the next overly excited couple would bombard them with questions. "How's the business going?" "How's boarding school, Louis?" "Are you planning on bidding tonight?" "Could I get you for a meeting sometime soon?" It was fucking relentless, but all Louis could do was nod and smile like the good son he was, boasting about himself every once in a while because wouldn't father love that? Arrogance wasn't a negative in this room, it was something you could feed from.

Eventually they found themselves face to face with the hosts of the evening, Liam's parents. His father, Geoff, was a fairly tall man clad in a navy blue suit, his hair slightly greying at the sides and his moustache neat and trimmed atop his lips. Clutching his arm was Liam's mother, a kind looking woman with shoulder length blonde hair and glasses laying across the bridge of her nose. Louis had met them on a few occasions already, at fundraisers and galas much like this one, so he was grateful to finally see a familiar face, and maybe find out where their son was.

"Were so glad you could make it tonight, Liam had mentioned you'd be joining us" Geoff said with a bright smile, firmly shaking both their hands. "I hope you're both enjoying yourselves so far"

"Well, other than your guests not giving us space to breathe, you've certainly outdone yourself tonight" Mark replied sarcastically, his lips quirked into a smirk as he gestured behind himself.

"I did tell him it was a little over the top, but Geoff never listens to me" Karen commented, nudging her husband with a teasing smile. "Liam mentioned good things about you, Louis. I wanted to thank you for taking him under your wing. He was a little nervous to be starting school" she added, turning her attention to Louis, placing a comforting hand on his bicep.

Louis smiled, probably the most genuine one he had given all night, "It's no problem, honestly. Liam's a good friend so I'm happy to give him some guidance" He said, careful with his words as he was still in the presence of his father. It was another pathetic lie, just to keep him happy, because if anything he had been taken under Liam's wing more so than Liam had been under his. He had been a complete mess the first few weeks of school and without Liam he was sure he would've made more of a fool of himself than he already did; but of course they didn't need to know that. "Where is Liam, anyway?"

"Oh, he'll be around here somewhere, probably with his friend Zayn. You know him don't you?" Karen replied, her eyes searching the room.

"Yes, we're all quite close at school" Louis confirmed, not entirely sure if such a small comment would be enough to piss his father off, but hopefully it would be ignored.

"Well, I'm sure you'll find them soon"

"I'm sure he will" Mark agreed with a tight smile. It was easy for Louis to tell when his father wasn't being sincere, he could see it in his mannerisms and hear it in his voice, the way he took on an almost sarcastic tone that could easily be passed off as charming to people like the Payne's. Louis adverted his eyes and kept quiet. "When will the auction start?"

"At ten thirty" Geoff raised his wrist to check his watch, "About half an hour away, will you be bidding? I mean, it would only be natural for the most wealthy man in this room"

Mark chuckled slightly and shrugged his shoulders, "I guess we'll have to see if there's anything worth my money"

Louis so badly wanted to roll his eyes. It's for charity, fucking charity, this wasn't some kind of personal shopping centre for his father to browse. The focus wasn't the products, it was the cause they were there for, and Louis felt a sharp pang of humiliation for not realising that sooner, for not seeing that this behaviour was disgusting. "I think I'm gonna go get a drink, if that's okay?" He asked suddenly, stepping away from Mark.

"Nothing alcoholic" Mark reminded him sternly.

"Oh he can have a drink if he wants to, we won't tell" Karen waved him off, sending a wink towards Louis.

"I'd rather him not" Mark quipped, his jaw setting, smile long gone. "You know how teens can get with alcohol, they hardly know their limits"

"We've allowed Liam to have a glass or two of champagne, but, I understand" Geoff replied, his arm sliding around Karen's waist, "There's plenty of non alcoholic drinks over there Louis" he pointed with his free hand towards a stand near the stage.

"Thanks" Louis muttered, turning on his heel as fast as he could because- he can't stand this. It was suffocating. All these people watching him, observing, judging. Asking the same old questions over and over again, picking him apart just to compare to their own children. His father practically breathing down his neck, waiting for him to slip up, say the wrong thing, making a mental note of everything just so he could scold him for it later. He hates it. All these fake people with fake ideas of reality, wealth, success, money, status, wealth- he needed to find Liam and Zayn.

As he walked away he glanced over his shoulder. His father's back was still turned from him and the Payne's weren't paying him any attention, so he quickly turned away from the drinks and hid himself amongst the crowds of people as he went looking for his friends. If he had his phone he could've just texted Liam and asked where he was, but that wasn't an option and he didn't even know what they were wearing. He sighed and stopped walking, unbothered by the bodies brushing against his own as his eyes darted around the room. A tall woman in a red dress, a short man in a grey suit, a rounded table filled with much older looking men, drinking whisky and- smoking cigars? Louis shook his head.

Finally, leant against a wall across the room were two boys his age, one in a sleek, black tux and the other in a similar outfit only charcoal grey. The boy in the black tux had hair as dark as the fabric, styled into a quiff with one loose strand laying across his forehead. He had a bright smile as he swayed towards the brown haired boy, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes as he laughed at something he had said. Louis set off towards them, crossing the dance floor with eyes set on his targets.

"Alright lads" Louis said once he reached them, lips pulling out into a grin, "Looking sharp" he complimented, nodding at their outfits.

"Louis!" Liam's eyes widened and he immediately pulled him into a hug, Louis laughing softly into his shoulder. He pulled away and Zayn clasped his hand, tugging him in for a brief embrace, the other hand patting his back. "Glad you made it"

"I'm glad I finally found you, this place is fucking packed" Louis replied as he gestured around the room. "Nearly got trampled walking across the dance floor"

"Still dramatic then" Zayn smirked.

"Well it's not exactly been long since you last saw me" Louis scoffed, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets.

"Too long considering we're used to spending every day together" Zayn shrugged.

"Not every day" Liam mumbled, and- right, yeah. The whole Liam likes Zayn situation. Louis had almost forgotten about it with how busy he had been back at home.

"I see you every day" Zayn furrowed his brows, shaking Liam with an arm around his shoulders, "We're like, inseparable" he added, entirely unaware of any problems.

"Yeah, right" Liam gave a small smile, eyes fixed on the floor.

"Okay" Louis drew out the word, trying to think of anything to say to change the subject, it was become entirely too awkward, "Hey, seeming as you're basically a host of this thing, could you please tell Mrs Lawson to stop staring at me? I mean, she's a lovely woman, but it's a little uncomfortable" he hesitantly turned his head and, yeah, there she was again. A frail old woman with a grey perm, a green dress draped across her figure with pearls laying across her collar bones. As soon as she caught Louis' eye her smile widened and she waved at him excitedly. Louis waved back, feigning enthusiasm before he turned back to Liam, "You see?"

Zayn snorted, covering his mouth as if to stifle his laughter, "Looks like you've got yourself a sugar granny Louis"

"Isn't she like, eighty?" Liam raised his brows.

"Yes, and that's exactly why it's uncomfortable" Louis groaned, "I can't fucking escape her"

"I'm sure she means no harm" Liam suggested, clicking his tongue against the back of his teeth as he patted Louis' shoulder. "Anyway, why haven't you gotten a drink yet? My parents don't care if you have some champagne"

"Yeah, well, my dad does" Louis sighed. Right now, a glass of champagne would be amazing, could take the edge off a little, but he wasn't going to risk being shouted at for it later. "He warned me about a million times not to drink before we even got in here"

"I'll sneak you a glass later during the auction, he won't even notice"

"You realise my father will want me to bid too, right? He encourages me to, wants to show off how much he spoils me as if people in here don't already know he's rich" Louis rolled his eyes, shaking his head to himself, "I don't see the point, he'd be paying for it anyway"

Liam and Zayn shared a confused look, "I thought you loved shit like this" Liam said with a questioning tone.

"Not anymore" Louis replied firmly, "Yes, money is great, but it gets annoying when it's all people bang on about, using it to belittle others. It's embarrassing" he looked around for a moment, he saw Liam's father and mother now speaking to an elderly couple, his own father nowhere in sight. Shit. When neither Liam or Zayn replied, he turned to look at them again only to find surprised expressions, a hint of amusement. "What?"

"Nothing, just-" Liam's lips twisted, like he couldn't find the right words, "Harry had mentioned you've changed a lot, but I never knew it was to this extent"

Harry. "Have you spoken to him?" He asked eagerly, suddenly remembering the main reason he wanted to find Liam and Zayn in the first place. "I've had my phone taken off me so I can't get in touch. But I promised I would speak to him, and he's probably wondering why I haven't replied or something. I've been meaning to ask if he got to Cheshire okay, and, like, if he's okay, or whatever" God, he really needed to stop rambling. "Have you spoken to him?" He repeated.

"Uh, yeah, I texted him this morning" Liam answered, side eyeing Zayn.

"About what?"

"Just normal shit, I don't know" Liam chuckled, "He actually asked if we had spoken to you"

"Fuck" Louis whispered under his breath, Harry must have thought he was ignoring him. "And what did you say?"

"I just said no, because you hadn't been replying, guess I know why now" Liam smiled, "Why's your dad taken your phone?"

"He thinks it's a distraction, fuck knows why" he knew exactly why, but it's not like he could just tell his friends that his father didn't want him in contact with them. Especially since this was Liam's parents' event. "He's okay though right, Harry?"

"Yeah, I mean I think so. I don't see why he wouldn't be"

Maybe because he's gone back to the place where his parents were murdered. But they didn't know that, so Louis kept that comment locked away in his head. "Okay, well, good"

"Uh, Louis, your dads coming over here by the way" Zayn said in a hushed tone, his eyes fixed over Louis' shoulder. Louis glanced behind him and, sure enough, Mark was heading towards him, waving off people that tried to stop him for a conversation as he did so.

"Do you think I have time to run?" Louis asked as he whipped back around to face the boys.

"No" they both answered at once.

"You sure?"

"Positive" Liam nodded.

"Not even if I-"

"Louis" Mark interrupted from behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder, "I thought I told you not to disappear off anywhere"

"I ran into Liam and Zayn, stopped for a chat. You've met them haven't you?" He was pretty sure that by the way Zayn had dipped his head, and Liam's lips threatened to quirk up into a grin, they were holding back their laughter at his use of his posh accent. Fuck sake.

"I've met Liam before, of course. Not sure about Zayn though" Mark replied, his tone calm and smooth. "The auction will start soon, you can catch up with them later" he added dismissively, already starting to pull Louis away.

"Can't I just bid from here?" Louis asked, he wasn't exactly the quietest person in the room, he was sure they'd hear him.

"No Louis, we're joining Liam's parents up front. I think they wanted you up there too" Mark gestured to Liam, who only nodded in return. "Come on"

Mark turned away and Louis sent a pleading look towards Liam and Zayn, as if they could do anything about it, before following after his father.

"You said you were getting a drink" Mark said with a hushed voice once Louis had caught up, continuing to walk ahead at a fast pace towards the front of the room. "I told you not to run off anywhere"

"Like I said, I just bumped into them and got talking" Louis replied, his tone sharper than he had intended.

"It's not a hard rule to follow, if I tell you to stay close then I mean it. And don't use that-"

"Mr Tomlinson" Naturally, they're stopped again. For the last twenty odd people that stopped them when they first arrived, Louis had barely raised his head to acknowledge them. It was the same routine anyway; greetings, shaking hands, business, wealth, etc. So Louis didn't see any reason to listen to the conversation until he was directly spoken to. This time though, he recognised the voice. He'd heard that voice in the main hall at school, in the mans office, in the hallways when he had hid behind curtains with Harry, and later got caught sneaking food from the kitchens. He knew that voice all too well, and his assumption was confirmed when he raised his head to see non other than Professor Filch.

He looked exactly the same as he did at school, with his posh suits and slicked back hair, polished leather shoes on his feet and a patterned tie around his neck. But why the fuck is he here? Why was a teacher attending an event like this? It wouldn't be surprising if it was a free for all, but it wasn't, you had to be invited and usually it was the same old faces that attended every year. Louis had never seen him at any of the previous fundraisers or galas, so why? And why hadn't Liam mentioned anything?

"Nice to see you out of school grounds for once" Filch said with a charming smile, offering his hand for a shake. His father accepted after a moment, and then the professors eyes turned to Louis, "And you Louis" he offered his hand again, which Louis took with furrowed brows and confused eyes.

"I didn't expect to see you at an event like this" Mark said, his eyes narrowed slightly, "Did the Payne's invite you?"

Filch nodded, his smile unwavering. "Yes, I didn't expect to be invited either to be honest. I'm assuming it's some sort of thanks for accepting their son into the school"

It clicked, and Louis realised that would actually make a lot of sense. Maybe Liam didn't even know about it.

"Well, Liam's a bright enough kid, I'm sure it wasn't a hard decision"

"You know him?"

"His father is a colleague of mine"

"Hey, I got you your drink" Another voice came, and Louis knew this one too. Deep and slow, the voice he had been wanting to hear ever since he had left school. The voice he was sure that had left voicemails on his phone, because Harry was just like that. Harry was the type of person to leave voicemails even though hardly anyone their age used it anymore. Harry's voice jumped into the conversation unexpected, unaware of Louis' presence, as he handed over a flute of champagne with his ring clad hands.

What the fuck?

Harry should be in Cheshire right now. He should be back in his hometown reuniting with his friends, maybe drinking at one of their houses, maybe leaving Louis' a string of drunken messages, because that's what he had promised, that's what he had told Louis would happen. But there he is, standing besides professor Filch of all people, wearing the most lavish outfit Louis had seen all night. He wore a blue, floral patterned suit, the trousers slightly baggy with a silk white shirt beneath the blazer, tufts of chiffon tied around his neck and black Gucci, horsebit loafers to finish off the look. Louis couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

Harry finally turned his attention away from Professor Filch, his eyes landing on Louis' own with that soft smile he hadn't seen in days. He knew Louis would be at this event, so unlike Louis his expression held no element of surprise, only faint excitement, perhaps giddiness that he was pushing away for the sake of Louis being stood next to his father. Why is he here?

"Thank you Harry" Filch smiled once he had taken the drink from him. "Mark, have you met my god son? He shares a room with Louis back at school"

Louis' smile fell and his eyes darted to Filch, he almost wanted to ask the man to repeat himself, because surely he didn't just say that? He flicked his eyes back to Harry and found that his smile had dropped too, now replaced by pursed lips as he chewed at the inside of them. He wasn't looking at Louis with excitement anymore, his head was tilted down into a worried expression as he hid his hands behind his back. "God son?" He finally managed to ask, and maybe this was his way of asking Filch to repeat himself- because what the fuck? Harry's god father was their head master?

"Yes, didn't he tell you?" Filch furrowed his brows, tilting his head sideways to glance at Harry curiously. "I thought you already knew"

"No, I didn't" Louis replied flatly, not quite sure how he felt about this new piece of information. He didn't know whether he should feel angry, upset, disappointed that Harry never told him, but at the same time Harry had trusted him with so much already, so should this detail really matter? "He never mentioned it"

Harry looked up again, hesitant, and his lips crooked sideways as if to show he was sorry, or maybe to show he was uncomfortable, or maybe that he didn't think it was that big of a deal. Louis couldn't tell, but he couldn't say anything more on it right now. He'd have to try talk to him later.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, could I have your attention please?" Louis turned around to see Liam's mum and dad stood up on the stage, Geoff leaning into a microphone as he made his announcement, a glass of champagne clutched in his hand.

Louis felt a warm body brush against his arm as Harry shuffled to stand next to him. He raised a brow, refusing to let his lips curve up into a grin as he turned his head to watch him, just for a moment, to see Harry bringing his own glass of champagne up to his lips. "Can we talk, later?" He asked as he looked back towards the stage, voice low and quiet, barely above a whisper.

"I haven't decided if I want to ignore you yet, you know, as payback" Harry replied with the same hushed voice. It was sarcastic though, almost teasing, and relief washed over Louis' as he realised Harry wasn't mad at him. Really, there was no reason to believe that Harry would've been mad at him anyway, he wasn't like that, but he was thankful that his doubt had settled.

"My dad took my phone off me, I couldn't reply or anything"

"Oh? And you're assuming there was anything to reply to?" Harry asked with a smirk, watching Louis out of the corner of his eye.

One thing he hadn't missed was Harry's sass, it was amusing, but- hard to come back at. "Wow, Harry, you're such a little comedian aren't you"

"Yes, and you love it"

Louis shook his head slightly, lips twitching, and remained silent as he listened to the speech.

"I just wanted to quickly thank you all for joining us tonight" Geoff began, his arm still firmly placed around Karen's waist, who smiled prettily down at their guests. "I know you've all probably been to events like this one time and time again, but we mustn't forget what we are here for tonight, what causes we are supporting, and what we can all do to help others who may not be fortunate enough to enjoy Christmas in the way that we have the privilege to"

"Come on, we're supposed to be up front" Mark suddenly said, nudging Louis forward slightly.

"He's in the middle of making a speech" Louis shrugged him off, standing firmly in place, "What's the rush?"

"Quit it with the questions and move" Mark replied, a bite to his tone as he glared at Louis. He was pulled forwards again as Harry looked at him with concern etched into his features, about to step forward until Louis stopped him, grazing his fingers across his wrist. If Harry got involved it would only cause a scene, and Louis knew he would be the one to pay for it later, so he sent him a reassuring smile before turning his back and pushing ahead towards the stage.

"All money raised tonight from our auction will be donated to the crisis this Christmas charity. This organisation has been aiding the homeless since 1967, helping tens of thousands individuals experience a normal Christmas with shelter, food and care even beyond the festive season. We urge you all to participate, and we hope you have a wonderful evening. Thank you"

Geoff and Karen stepped down from the stage to join Liam as the auctioneer took his place at the stand, items being rolled out on tables to be displayed. At first glance, there was nothing there that remotely interested Louis, most of the items were antiques that he was sure the older guests would be fighting over- but he reminded himself that this wasn't the point. At the end of the day, it didn't matter if he took home some relic he would never use, the money going to the charity is what counted.

He faintly wondered if Harry would be bidding tonight. It was no secret that he was wealthy anymore, and he had mentioned that he was big on charities and doing what he could to help those in need- Niall had even said that most of Harry's money went to charity. Louis shoved his hands back in his pockets and rolled on his feet from heel to toe, trying not to appear too obvious as he glanced over his shoulder a few times. He furrowed his brows when he saw that the previous spot where Harry and Filch were stood was empty, and faced the front again as he refrained from searching the entire crowd.

The first half hour of the auction was boring, as Louis usually found they were seeming as he had attended a countless number of them in the past. The first few items never went for too much and the amount of bidders participating was low, some warming up to the idea or waiting for the more valuable items to be brought out later on.

So far, a bundle of equestrian paintings from the nineteenth century had gone for ten thousand pounds, to an old, artsy woman who Louis was certain owned a museum in London. A man who owned a radio station had eagerly bid for an old style Victor radio that was in pristine condition, gaining the item with a final sum of five thousand. A young fashion designer had been ecstatic when she won the bid for a vintage Chanel bag, paying a larger amount of twenty thousand, and an author had bought a first edition copy of 'to kill a mockingbird' for seven thousand.

It was off to a successful start considering those were some of the less valuable items available, and Geoff couldn't look prouder if he tried. Each time something sold, Louis would catch him doing some kind of small victory dance, turning to Karen with this smug grin as he waved his clenched fist through the air.

Louis hadn't bid on anything just yet, though he had gotten close to raising a hand in the air a couple of times. One thing in particular that had caught his attention was an old video game console from the 1980's, unused without a scratch in sight. He had considered bidding to maybe share it with the lads at school, even if that was usually advised against with antiques, because there wasn't much to do most of the time and he knew Zayn would have fallen in love with the thing. He decided against it when his father had scoffed and rolled his eyes, muttering something about video games being a waste of time and a waste of money.

He knew as soon as the next item was rolled out though, that he would not be listening to his father. It practically screamed Harry right at him from its place on the display table, a Golden stone Dual record player from the 90's. The base of the deck looked like a grey granite texture, with a golden platter in the centre and a golden needle to the side of it, a transparent dust cover hovering above it. He had to buy it, had to win the bid even if he was up against the same music enthusiast that had bought the radio. He wasn't sure if Harry was even in the room anymore, still unable to spot him amongst the crowd, but if he wasn't going to buy it for himself, then Louis would buy it for him.

"Alright, up next we have a Dual golden stone record player, produced in the 90's and never before used. We start the bid at 800 pounds"

Louis raised his hand slightly, "One thousand"

"What the fuck are you going to do with a record player?" Mark muttered with a sigh, but Louis stayed silent, his jaw clenching slightly as he listened out for the numbers raising. He was right about the radio man, who was currently bidding against a music producer towards the back, but Louis wasn't worried in the slightest. He knew whatever number they reached towards the end of the bid, he could easily double it.

"One thousand six hundred, one thousand eight hundred, can we get two thousand"

Louis raised his hand again, signalling to the auctioneer he would make that bid. "Louis you don't even own any records" Mark whispered sharply, looking down at him with confused eyes.

"Well I'll just have to buy some then won't I" Louis replied flatly, raising his hand again as Mark sighed and shook his head. He thought that maybe he would actually buy some records, could add his own taste to Harry's collection back at school. He could slot 'AM' by the arctic monkeys between 'Rumours' by Fleetwood Mac and David Bowie's 'The rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust'. Maybe he could even buy them a proper record display; it would be a nice change from the stack on Harry's dressing table.

By the end of the bid, Louis had proudly won the record player, spending a total of four thousand pounds. His father wasn't pleased about it but that was expected, and Louis reasoned that considering the rarity of the item, and the condition that it was in, four thousand wasn't anything to worry about.

A few more items were sold and they were about half way through the auction when Louis felt a strong grip on his elbow, a brief squeeze before the touch was gone. He quickly whipped his head around to see brown curls, a toothy grin and Harry's mischievous eyes staring back into his own. Harry was holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses in his hands, and he nodded towards the back doors before turning around and disappearing into the crowd once more.

Harry hadn't left, and he wanted to see him. Louis turned back and nudged his father, "I'm just going to go find a bathroom, I'll be back soon" he said, making up the excuse quickly, wasting no time to try and leave.

Mark caught his arm and Louis repressed his sigh as he stopped, "We're in the middle of an auction, you can wait" he replied sternly, his expression showing nothing but annoyance.

"Unless you want me to piss myself in front of all these important people, then I suggest you let me leave" Louis shot back, pulling his arm from his fathers grip. The longer he was stood by his side, being watched, monitored, the more of his patience he was losing. At this point, he didn't care if he slipped up and said something he shouldn't, he would deal with the repercussions later, but right now Harry was waiting for him and he wasn't sure if they would get another chance to speak until after the Christmas break.

"Fine, just be quick" Mark reluctantly gave in, and as soon as he said the words Louis rushed away towards the exit, pushing through people until he broke out of the crowd into the little space at the back that was void of any expensive suits or glamorous dresses. Finally he could breathe.

Once he stepped out of the room everything became so much quieter. Voices had dimmed, the music only a faint noise in the distance, and Louis was thankful because now he could think. Now that he was on the other side of those doors, he was shielded from the judgement in people's eyes and his fathers disappointed words; they couldn't reach him out here and finally the weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "Have you seen where a boy just went? Tall, brown curly hair. Blue suit"  Louis described him to the doormen, unsure of where to go.

"Yes, I think he went up those stairs" One of the men pointed to a large staircase on the left hand side of the room.

"Thanks" Louis mumbled with a nod and began climbing the stairs to god knows where it would take him. He wondered where he was even supposed to start this conversation, there was almost too much to unpack even though it had only been a few days since he had last seen him, disregarding seeing him in the ball room- with Professor Filch. Fucking Professor Filch. Their headmaster. Harry's god father. He was excited to ask about his present but now, well, it seemed like there was a much bigger topic to tackle, and Louis had no idea how to approach it.

He almost felt a little stupid for not seeing it. They had lived in that school for four months and yet he had never even considered the idea that Harry's god father was their own head teacher. Harry knew his first name, he had his damn phone number, and Louis had looked past it as if it were normal. Filch clearly had no care for students finding out, not when he so easily introduced Harry as his god son in front of him, so that left him to wonder why Harry had wanted to keep it a secret.

Everything just feels so- complicated, right now. But Louis couldn't figure out why, couldn't pin point the exact thing that's causing all his problems and making him feel unsure about every single thing he did. His relationship with his father had changed dramatically, his view on life was now a perception that he once couldn't have even imagined. He never thought he could feel a bitterness towards his own blood or the people downstairs in that ballroom, irritated by wealth and status and every fucking thing they liked to brag about; because that used to be him, part of that is still him and he couldn't help but wish it wasn't.

He had never seen the negatives of his lifestyle until he was thrown head first into an ocean of possibilities, and he was starting to realise that he was drawn to some of those possibilities more so than he was to the one he was currently living.

At the top of the staircase was a landing, and right in front of him were two open doors that lead out onto a balcony. Between the frame of the flowing satin of the curtains, twisting and curling around the doors under the force of the winter breeze, was Harry. Back turned to Louis, elbows on the stone ledge of the balcony with the bottle of champagne opened to the side of him, two glasses already filled.

Louis paused for a moment, the cold wind hitting his warm skin, goosebumps arising across his arms. Surely Harry must be freezing. Anyone would be mad to stand outside, waiting to have a chat over a glass of champagne whilst the wind messed up your hair and shivers wracked your body. But Harry always was a scenic person, quite dramatic in that aspect, so Louis brushed the cold aside and stepped onto the balcony.

"You have a lot of explaining to do Curly-"

His sarcastic announcement was abruptly cut off when Harry turned and practically threw himself at him. Full body force, arms tightly wrapping around his neck as Harry burrowed his head against Louis' cheek. It almost knocked him off his feet, only able to stand upright as he stumbled backwards and hit the cold stone wall with Harry gripping the back of his blazer.

"You bought me a kitten" Harry whispered, and Louis could feel his smile against his skin, wide and bright with dimples and all. He sounded so incredibly happy, his voice filled with adoration and excitement as the words ghosted over his neck. Louis couldn't help but absorb those emotions. His own smile breaking out as he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, returning the hug with all the same force that Harry had given him.

Yes, he had bought him a kitten.

A tiny little thing that looked almost identical to his previous cat Evie, with its white fur, black spots and yellow-grey eyes. Louis had searched high and low for it, researching every animal stores, shelters and breeders across the uk. After a couple of weeks he had gotten lucky with a family not too far away in Sheffield who had a few of the kittens available, and Louis made preparations for one of his fathers drivers to collect it after a lot of convincing and bribes with money.

On Friday, Harry would have opened the door of his home to greet the Tomlinson's driver, and received a cage with the kitten inside, along with a box that housed toys and cat food and whatever else you needed to take care of a cat.

Louis knew his idea had been risky for multiple reasons, the main one being that he was worried the kitten could be a reminder to Harry of what had happened to his family all those years back. Then there was the case of if Harry would even want to look after a cat now, and if he had any willing family members to take over the job whilst he was at school. In the end Niall had reassured him that Harry's god mother loved pets and would have no troubles looking after one, and that Harry would probably thank him a million times over for buying him it.

"Evie two point o" Louis replied, nodding against Harry's head, his hair tickling the tip of his nose because Harry still hadn't let go. His grip hadn't lessened, and his chest was still firmly pressed against his own, little puffs of breath warming Louis' skin. "You like her then?"

"Of course!" Harry drew back slightly, just so he could look Louis in the eyes as if to show his appreciation, his arms still wrapped around Louis' neck. "God Louis, she's so cute. Fucking adorable. She has these tiny ears and big eyes and little paws. She scratched me once but it was fine because I had taken her toy mouse away, so it was understandable-" Louis couldn't help but chuckle, only Harry styles would sympathise with a kitten. "-and she practically squeaks when she meows and she hops around because she hasn't quite gotten used to walking normally yet and- she's just so cute" he stopped abruptly, finally aware that he was rambling, but his smile never faltered. He was looking at Louis as if he was his favourite person in the world, and Louis couldn't help but hope that that was true.

"She sure sounds it. I'll have to meet her sometime" Louis replied, holding in his laughter as he rubbed Harry's back unconsciously.

"Wait, you haven't met her?" Harry's eyes widened and his brows furrowed, he almost looked offended. "How have you not met her? You're the one who bought her"

"I couldn't, we were in school at the time and I couldn't just drop everything to go to Sheffield. But the owners sent me lots of videos and pictures, so I made my judgement from that I guess" Louis explained briefly, shrugging his shoulders, "Turned out well in the end though didn't it"

"Oh, I mean yeah it did, but you still need to meet her" Harry said firmly, poking a finger at Louis' chest, "You're basically her dad, she's our child and she needs to meet both parents"

Yeah, Harry styles was definitely the weirdest person he had ever met in his life, but in a strange sense that wasn't a negative. Only Harry could say something like that and he would feel endeared rather than uncomfortable. "So, you've decided you're the mum then?"

"Obviously" Harry scoffed, "I'm sure that if I had given you that title you'd be offended. You'd go on a rant about being more masculine and you wouldn't shut up until I agreed to be the mum. Tell me I'm wrong"

"You're wrong" Louis smirked.

"Fuck off" Harry chuckled, swatting at his chest, "You want to be the mum then?"

"Definitely not" Louis shook his head and removed Harry's arms from around his neck, stepping aside with his eyes on the champagne. Fuck it if he wasn't supposed to be drinking, this would be his last night of freedom for a while. "You're the mum character between me and you, you just have that motherly nature"

"That's what I thought" Harry stated somewhat proudly, joining Louis by the stone wall where the champagne rested. "Thank you, though. Nobody ever really puts much thought into the presents they get me- not that I'm ungrateful or anything, it's just, nice, I guess? I really appreciate it"

Louis handed a champagne glass to Harry before taking a sip of his own, the bubbles popping against his tongue, the acidity of the alcohol flooding his mouth; champagne was always one of his favourites the few times he had drank. "I'm just glad you like her. I was a bit worried that it could- I don't know, bring back those memories, so I was a bit hesitant at first. But Niall reckoned you would love her so I just went for it"

Harry smiled softly and leant against the stone, clutching the glass between two hands. "I'm surprised it didn't, actually. I didn't end up going to Cheshire because I realised it was a bit much, for now anyway, I'm not ready for that. But the kitten brought back more of the happy memories. Like, when I used to chase her around the kitchen as my mum would be making my dinner, or the one time Evie ripped up my dads tie" he let out an amused huff, staring down at his champagne glass as Louis watched him intently. "Of course it reminded me of the bad memories, but I'm still really glad you bought her for me"

"Well, it was either her or another monthly subscription to those weird Pilates videos you watch. So, you're welcome" Louis replied teasingly, shifting the mood to a lighter feeling as Harry laughed and drank his champagne, looking out onto the scenery below and above where the cars were parked on the gravel and the moon reflected down on them from the sky.

"Have you opened your presents then, or have you kept your word?" Harry asked after a moment.

"I can't say it hasn't been tempting, especially with how big one of them is" Louis had placed the neatly wrapped packages in his walk in wardrobe back at home, out of sight from his father and away from Louis' hands. He desperately wanted to know what they were, but also didn't want to break his promise of not opening them until Christmas. For some reason he felt like Harry would know if he did. "But no, I haven't opened them"

"There's two that you can open on your birthday, I've labelled them on the tags so you'll know which ones"

"You remembered my birthday?" Louis felt something warm erupting through his chest. Nobody really cared about his birthday, other than his sisters and his mum before she passed. He almost didn't care about it either anymore, had learned not to, instead focusing on Christmas and presents and making sure his siblings were making the most of the build up instead of fussing over him. Harry even just remembering, let alone buying him presents, was enough to make him feel like it mattered.

"Why wouldn't I? It's your birthday, the day the great Louis Tomlinson was brought into this world!" Harry exclaimed dramatically, nearly spilling his entire drink as he waved his hands out to the sides. Louis was sure that if anyone was stood below the balcony, they most likely had champagne in their hair right now.

"The great? I think you're getting ahead of yourself there" Louis shook his head and took another sip of his champagne. "But thank you for the presents, you didn't need to get me anything"

"Well, one of them is more of a gag gift to be honest, you'll know it when you see it" Harry grinned and sent him a wink.

"Finally giving me a clue then?"

"I wouldn't call it a clue, I bet you still have no idea what it is"

"I don't" Louis hummed in agreement, "That's why you should tell me"

"We've already had this conversation and the answer is still no" Harry quipped, setting his glass down on the ledge. "So, was I the one who influenced you to bid on that record player?"

"Yes" Louis replied easily, leaning on his elbows against the balcony, "It's yours, actually. The record player, so you'll have to collect it before you leave"

"Mine?" Harry asked, as if to make sure he had heard him right, and Louis nodded. "Louis you spent four thousand on it, I can't accept that"

"The money is going to charity, I don't mind"

"Still, that's too much. I've already got a record player, you should keep it for yourself. And you bought me the kitten"

Louis sighed and turned to look at him, "It'll be ours then, alright? We can keep it in our room at school, and I'll buy some records of my own. That way you don't have to feel guilty or whatever"

"But-"

"No. Accept it" Louis interrupted, tilting his head to the side slightly as if challenging him to refuse.

"Fine. Thank you" Harry rolled his eyes, exaggerating his words to sound stubborn, like he didn't want to say it, but Louis knew he was joking.

"You're welcome" Louis flashed him a smile as he topped up their drinks. "Now, you gonna explain to me why Filch called you his god son, or am I supposed to just ignore all that?"

It was almost an instant reaction. Harry's smile fell and his eyes darted away from Louis', he seemed tense, uncomfortable, and for a moment Louis felt bad for asking. He didn't want to interrupt this happy moment by laying the cards out on the table, directing the focus onto a subject that Harry seemed to be avoiding; but he had to. It had been nagging at him ever since the words slipped from Filches mouth and this wasn't something you could just ignore. If Harry tells him now that he doesn't want to talk about it, then fine, the conversation would be dropped. But he had to at least ask.

"Sorry" Louis mumbled when Harry hadn't spoken, "You don't have to talk about it, but I needed to ask"

"No, it's fine" Harry shook his head and let out a deep breath through his nose, "It's just, I don't know, it's weird. I was worried that you'd be mad or something, for not telling you"

"I'm not mad, at all" Louis assured him, "I'm just confused. Like, Professor Filch?" He let out a soft chuckle, hoping to ease the tension. "Your god father is our fucking headmaster"

Harry smiled, his cheeks reddening with what Louis could only assume to be embarrassment. "I know, like I said, it's weird"

"It's not weird, just- surprising. I mean, you live with him, and like, spend Christmas with him and have family dinners and shit" Louis laughed again, it sounded absurd to his own ears. "What's it like then?"

"Just normal I guess, for me anyway" Harry shrugged, pausing to take another sip of his drink. "He's my god father before my teacher, I've known him my whole life so it's not that big of a deal. I just meant it's weird telling people, other students, like you. That's why I never mentioned anything"

"So Niall knows about it then" Louis assumed.

"Oh, yeah of course. Niall was round mine having sleepovers when we were eleven, so he's known him for years. We're basically brothers and Niall treats Andrew like his second father" Harry explained, letting out an amused huff.

"He is called Andrew then" Harry nodded, even though it was more of a statement than a question, "God, I feel so fucking stupid. You knew his name, you had his damn phone number. I should've seen it"

"It's not really something easy to assume, from me knowing his first name and having his phone number, I doubt your first thought would be god father. You're fine"

"Least now I know where all that special treatment comes from" Louis replied, half sarcastic half serious, because Harry really had gotten away with a lot of shit that he probably shouldn't have. "It's certainly going to be more interesting when we go back to school"

"I do not get special treatment" Harry denied with a shocked expression, leaning over to lightly smack Louis' shoulder.

Louis laughed and shoved him away, "You definitely do. All those times I got the blame for shit and you got let off Scott free. And how all the teachers seem to believe everything you say with no questioned asked" Louis smirked and tilted his champagne glass towards Harry, "Harry styles, you my friend are a teachers pet"

"Piss off" Louis had to refrain from Laughing at the pout on Harry's face. He tried so hard to look intimidating but all he could manage was the face of a toddler having a tantrum. "You're just jealous that I'm a perfect student"

"You're saying that to the person who's joint top student with you?" Louis raised his brows, "If you're a perfect student curly then so am I"

Instead of coming back with another one of his sassy replies or sarcastic remarks like Louis had expected, Harry only smiled as he dipped his head slightly, "I love that nickname"

Louis never thought much of nicknames, even if he had multiple of them for different people. Payno, Nialler, Zee. Even for his sisters, Pheebs, Fizz, dais', lotts. He had probably given Harry the most without even realising it. Curly, Haz, Harold, Styles- he was pretty sure he had called him darling once or twice, as embarrassing as that was to admit. But even so, he had never really understood the appeal of a nickname, not to the point where you loved one.

"It's nothing special, you're curly so I call you that" Louis shrugged it off.

"I've never really had any nicknames before you. It's nice, I like it"

"Well, sorry to break it to you but you won't be hearing it for a while"

At times like this, when Harry's smile would fall and that light in his eyes would dim, Louis really wished he had more of a brain to mouth filter. He hadn't meant to turn the conversation again, Harry was saying nice, sweet things that typically wouldn't be said to Louis. And he appreciated it, he really did, but even during sentimental moments where people were being genuine and actually putting in the effort, Louis couldn't help but speak the truth. Tonight they would be going back home, they wouldn't see each other for a while, and Louis had no way of getting in contact with him.

"Oh, right. You don't have your phone" Harry nodded slowly, his eyes distant as if stuck in his own head. "Do your sisters have phones?"

"Yeah, but I'm not dragging them into my mess. I won't risk my dad having a go at them just so I can go on their phones, it's not worth it" Louis didn't think Mark would ever hit the girls, but he had thought that about himself too. It was better being safe than sorry.

"You're right, sorry. That was a stupid suggestion" Harry smiled apologetically but Louis waved him off. "Do you still have your laptop?"

"I'm only allowed on it for work, he keeps it in his office" Louis rolled his eyes and swallowed down the last of his champagne, "Suppose I could just try get them when everyone's asleep, but then again half the time he keeps his office locked and I've got no clue where he keeps the key"

"Try pick the lock" Harry replied jokingly.

"Oh yeah, because that's worked out well for me before" Louis found out after the whole handcuff fiasco that he wasn't a skilled lock picker and trying again would only be a complete waste of time. "At this point my only option is to send you old fashioned, hand written letters with a wax seal on the envelope. I'm sure you'd love that anyway"

"I would actually" Harry agreed with a chuckle, "Make sure you do that if you have no other way of getting in touch. If not, i might get too worried and end up calling the police"

Louis smiled softly and twirled his empty glass between his fingers, "I'll figure something out"

"Good, because I'm seriously in need of someone to share all my kitten content with. I've nearly ran out of storage on my phone with how many videos and pictures I've taken"

"I can't wait"

Louis glanced down when he heard the slurred words and drunken laughter of a group of women. They were walking in a waved line towards a black limousine, clutching one another as they stumbled around in their heels. He frowned slightly as he realised guests were beginning to leave. Maybe some were seeking another party, or the oldies were heading for bed, but his father never stayed long at these things so it wouldn't be long before his own driver would be pulling up.

Louis didn't want to go. As much as he had hated the event it's self tonight, the arrogant guests and the eyes and the pressure, his friends were here. Liam and Zayn were probably still downstairs getting pissed on champagne, and Harry was by his side on the balcony, talking about kittens and nicknames and how his god father is the headmaster- all the things that Louis would never have thought to be discussing.

He would figure something out. Whether he had to try steal back his phone, or even buy a second one, he'd try his best; because now he knew for sure that without some form of support from his friends, the next few weeks would be a nightmare.

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Author notes:

I'm so fucking sorry this took so long to post. Usually I can get chapters out every one or two weeks but life's been a little hectic at the moment. I want you all to know that I won't ever be abandoning this fic, I promise you. I intend to finish it however long it takes but sometimes chapters can take a bit longer to write. Thank you to anyone who has dropped me a message, whether private or on my board, I do see them but I'm sorry if I haven't replied.

Anyway. I really hope you enjoyed. This chapter is a lot longer than any of my previous ones, around 20k words, so I guess that also contributed to why it's taken so long haha.

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I love you all xxx