[ jace's pov ]

"Drop the spear!" I shouted at the prisoner I had followed into the sewers, leaving Isabelle, Alec and Clary behind, water dripping everywhere and soaking my boots, "Drop the spear or take your chances, your choice."

He turned and moved into a offensive position, holding his spear tight, ready to fight.

"Oh, I was hoping you'd do that." I remarked, my hands flipping the axes in my hands, them coming in contact with his spear.

The metal of his spear repeatedly hit the axes in my hands, grunts and growls leaving both of our lips as we fought.

Within moments, he had knocked me onto my knees, my axes distant from me.

I pull out my seraph blade, clenching my jaw, standing up, swinging my sword towards him, his spear blocking it.

But no matter how much I fought, he had me on the ground once more, weaponless.

I groaned in pain, pushing myself up.

I wasn't as focused on this mission as I should've been.

I had too much on my mind.

I had Zee on my mind.

How she was dead.

Because of me.

I faced him, breathing heavily.

I let out a scream, running towards him with no defense, his spear piercing into me, a sharp pain erupting within me.

"Jace!" I heard Clary's shout with many following footsteps, Alec's arrow flying past me and landing in the prisoner, as Clary and Isabelle pulled me off the spear.

I fell to the ground, holding my wound, Isabelle clasping cuffs onto the defeated prisoner, "By the authority of the Clave, you are under arrest."

"You could have gotten yourself killed!" Alec ran over my Iratze, pulling me up in disapproval.

"Hey, hey!" I pointed, breathing heavily, the weight on my shoulders unbearable, "He is my responsibility, this is all my responsibility!"

Clary looks at me, "What were you thinking?-"

They were all staring at me when I didn't reply.

"If it wasn't for me, Zee would still be alive." My voice broke at the mention of her name, tears burning in my eyes, "If I was strong enough to fight through Lilith's control all the times she tried to get through to me- I could've saved her."

This made everyone go silent.

-

I stood in front of Zee's bedroom door.

My hand gently touched the nob, opening the door quietly, letting it widen on it's own, my eyes falling onto the blank canvas, memories flashing in my mind.

The night of our first, real date.

She was painting one of her sketches right there that day. The paint was splattered all over her body, she looked so peaceful and happy dancing around her room.

My hand reached and touched my cheek, where she had painted the small red heart that day, making my heart ache and my eyes to well up.

I walked into the room and closed the door behind me, walking over to the set of paints she had on her desk.

I reached for the exact paint brush she used, grabbing the red paint and opening it, dipping the brush lightly, wiping off the excess.

I walked over to her full body mirror, drawing a look alike heart on my cheek where she had that day, the tears falling from my eyes smearing it within seconds.

I sniffled, setting the brush down, my hands touching the chains of the necklaces she had hung up.

Why didn't I ever get her anything nice?

I grabbed onto her hair ties and put it on my wrist; messing with the band, walking over to her closet, my eyes scanning the countless amount of sweaters she owned.

I slowly grabbed onto one, holding the soft fabric in my hands, bringing it up to my nose, taking in the aroma of her.

My heart ached in pain.

My teary eyes then fell onto the sketch book from where I stood, as I walked over hesitantly, my hand touching the hard book cover.

I opened it to the most recently page, my heart stopping when there was a drawing of me.

A drawing she drew when I was asleep.

You know, I could use a model. I've run out of inspiration, so I started painting.

More tears burned in my eyes as I sat down in the seat in front of the desk, staring at the drawing, hugging Zee's sweater to my chest.

She was gone before I could come back home to her.

-

[ zee's pov ]

My eyes teared open to a bright light, feeling cold.

I blinked my eyes to adjust to the light, sitting up slowly to see I was laying on a couch.

Then, a voice spoke from behind me, making me jump, "Good morning."

I stood up quickly and looked at the unknown man that stood in front of me, a few feet away from where I was, "Who are you?"

He stared at me, "Don't you see the family resemblance?"

My eyes slightly widen, looking around and walking over to the coffin that Simon had broken, to see there was no one inside.

That's when it all came rushing back.

Simon.

Jonathan.

Lilith.

"No, I really don't." I spun to face my brother, "Jonathan."

"In the flesh." Jonathan confirmed my questionable state, "Resurrection brought back my real face."

I stare at him, "Where the hell is Lilith?"

"Back in Edom." Jonathan's words calmed me lightly, "Where she belongs."

I don't reply.

"You've been asleep for days- you must be starving." Jonathan put his hands behind his back, "How about I make you some breakfast and a nice cup of tea?"

"I don't drink tea." I walked past him, the room all to familiar to me, as I realized I was in the same apartment.

Then, my hand touched the engraving on my chest, pulling on my dress to look at it, looking at Jonathan when he faces me, "What did she do to me?"

Jonathan revealed his and walked closer to me, "Kind of like our family emblem."

"It's what brought you back to life." I grit my teeth, "Don't read much into it."

"It's a symbol of our bond." Jonathan smirked lightly at me, "I wouldn't be alive without my little sister."

"Well, don't be too ecstatic about it, 'cause if it were up to me, it would've never happened." My eyes fell onto the elevator when I turned, walking towards the window, opening the curtains, seeing nothing but a blizzard outside, "Where the hell are we?-"

Jonathan came to my side, "Siberia."

I stare at the snow, "The apartment can move?"

Jonathan confirmed, "Cool, huh?"

"Out of all the places on this planet, why the hell would you bring me to Siberia?" I walked away from him and stood by the table, frustrated that we weren't anywhere near close to New York.

"Lilith sent us here to keep us safe." Jonathan had a point, "You're an escaped prisoner, Zee. If the Clave found out you were still alive, they would kill you on sight."

"But, don't worry, they will never find you." Jonathan then added, "I'll make sure of it."

I scoff lightly, "If you're looking for a thank you, you're not gonna get it."

"You don't have to thank me." Jonathan said, looking between my eyes, "You're my sister."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." I cross my arms, huffing deeply, looking at my feet.

"I'll do whatever it takes to protect you." Jonathan's words made me feel slightly bad for being so hostile towards him, "You're the only family that I have."

"You're acting like Clary doesn't exist." I snipped lightly and looked up at him, "As a matter of fact, she's your full sister- so, why am I here?"

"Because Lilith knew about my connection towards you-" Jonathan stepped closer, "Our connection-"

I roll my eyes, "There is no connection-"

"Of course there is." Jonathan stood directly in front of me, "You cared for me when Clary was ready to kill me with her bare hands."

"You wanted to hear me out- you wanted to help me, when all your friends- our own sister wanted to get rid of me." Jonathan had a point, "My connection with you is stronger than ever, little sister."

"I guess you're right." I played along, pressing my hands together, giving him a soft smile, "You know, I- I am actually kind of hungry, how about that breakfast?"

"Of course." Jonathan smiles lightly and nods, walking towards the kitchen, "Coming right up."

When he was no longer in sight, I made a run for it, grabbing a coat from the stand, rushing for the elevator, pressing the button repeatedly.

When it doesn't do anything, I start prying it open with my own hands, grunting.

"Zee, come on!" Jonathan's voice came from behind me, making me move quicker, "You can't go out there, you're never gonna survive-"

"Watch me!" I shouted before pulling open the door and rushing out into the cold.

I ran as quickly as my cold, the cold breeze numbing my skin as I put on the coat, pushing through.

I needed to find a way to contact everyone back at the Institute.

If going back meant being locked up in the Gard, I was willing to risk it.

Anything was better than being stuck here with him.

My aching legs moved quickly through the woods, the snow piled up so much that it reached my knees.

I stumbled and fell into the snow, coughing, pushing my tired body back up, looking around, seeing a dark silhouette following me.

I knew it was Jonathan.

I started running even faster, breathing heavily, my lips and skin turning purple by the time I reached the end of the woods.

But then, I was at the top of a hill, much more travel ahead of me when I came to a stop.

I breathed out, my eyes rolling to the back of my head, as I fell, rolling down the hill, completely collapsing.

-

I sat in the living room of the apartment once more, the only thing I could of was how I collapsed and Jonathan carrying my unconscious body back.

I was seated in front of the fire, my hair damp and my body still cold, wrapped in a blanket.

"Here." Jonathan crouched in front of me, holding a bowl of soup, "It'll help you get your strength back."

"I don't like soup either." I stare at him, a hard look on my face at him even trying to mend things.

"I understand that you don't trust me." Jonathan exhales deeply, "But- I would like to ask you to try."

"I wanted to trust you- but, how can I now?" I snipped at him, "You almost killed Max- you tried to kill Jace- you killed Sebastian Verlac and took his place- you manipulated and lied-"

"Because I'm your brother." Jonathan cut me off, "Because we're actually not that different, you and me."

I scoff at him, "I am nothing like you."

"I may have demon blood, but so do others that you love: Simon, Magnus, Luke." Jonathan stood up and set the soup to the side, "You know, my curse started the day that I was abandoned by my birth mother- our mother."

I began, "Jocelyn isn't my-"

"She raised you when Margaret wasn't there." Jonathan shot back at me, "Would you be any different if instead of Jocelyn, you were raised by our sadistic father?"

I glared, "Jace was raised by Valentine."

Jonathan made a good point once more, "Jace wasn't sent to Edom to be burned by Lilith."

I sigh and shook my head, getting up, unwrapping myself from the blanket, "Jonathan, if you're looking for pity, you're wasting your breath."

"I'm not interested in pity." Jonathan followed me when I walked away, "Just understanding."

"I can't deny the things I've done." Jonathan's words made me stop, "But, you need to know that's behind me now."

I turned and faced him, scoffing in disbelief, "Really?"

"I can change- I want to change." Jonathan's words made me feel guilty, "Because whatever good exists inside of you, at least some of that has got to be inside of me too- somewhere, and I intend to prove that to you."

I don't reply, just staring at him.

"I should get some more firewood." Jonathan stepped back at my silence, grabbing his coat, putting it on before leaving, "I'll be back, soon."

-

"Sorry it took so long." Jonathan walked into the apartment once more, holding a bunch of wood, tossing it into the fire place then taking off his coat, "The weather's brutal out there."

I don't reply, staring out the window, one of the butter knives in my hand.

It was the only weapon I could find and could actually use to somewhat escape.

"The good news is we won't be here much longer." Jonathan walks around the table, standing a few feet away from me, "The apartment can take us wherever we want to go."

Then he adds, "And if I recall one place that my sister has always dreamed of visiting ever since she was a little girl."

"Paris." I slowly faced him, holding the knife behind my back, walking towards him, "Really?"

Jonathan nodded, smiling as if he was thinking he was finally getting through to me, "Absolument."

Guilt filled my chest.

But I pushed that guilt down and stabbed the knife up his neck, it piercing through his tongue, Jonathan gasping, blood filling his mouth quickly.

But, it wasn't very long until I felt a sharp pain in my own mouth, suddenly not being able to breath, blood oozing out of my mouth just like Jonathan's, as I let go of the knife and stumbled back, grabbing onto a chair to hold myself up.

Jonathan pulled out the knife and grabbed his stele quickly, running it over his Iratze, this healing me as well.

Then I realized how in depth this rune was.

Jonathan was astonished, wiping the blood from his mouth, "Amazing."

I swallowed hard, dreading the thought, "No-"

Jonathan stepped closer to me, looking eager and triumph, "We are one now, little sister."

"You and I-" Jonathan smirks, "We are one."

authors note:

i kid you not, i was listening to only by ry x while writing jace's pov and i started crying

my heart really broke during that scene omllll

but, thank you so much for 21k !

go read redamancyyyy

vote and comment loadsss