"You're still avoiding me." Jace followed me through the Ops Center as I walked toward Clary, Isabelle and Alec, making it clear.

I roll my eyes, "You noticed?"

"It's kind of hard not to." Jace remarks, as I quickened my pace.

"Jace, Valentine's missing." I kept walking, "We have more important things to deal with right now."

I stopped at the table, "Any word from Magnus or Luke?"

"No." Alec replied to me, "With Valentine free, the Downworld Cabinet has been holding secluded meetings at the Seelie Court."

Jace crosses his arms, "Well, that's not good."

I ran a hand through my hair and looked down at my black boots, "You think anything good happens in the Seelie Court?"

Clary's eyes fall onto me, her arms crossed as she shot me a disapproving older sister look.

"The Clave isn't gonna let this go unpunished." Alec speaks, "The Inquisitor's sent an envoy to assess the situation, chances are they'll be the ones replacing me as Head of the Institute."

"Not if we can recapture Valentine." Isabelle spoke up, "Sebastian and all available personnel are searching."

Clary nods, "We already know Duncan managed to hijack the portal."

"If he was Luke's accomplice, he could have been orchestrating the secret transfer all along." Jace added in, looking between all of us.

I cross my arms, "Duncan didn't seem like someone to do such a thing- maybe Luke's accomplice threatened and used him in someway since Luke couldn't get the job done."

"Listen- I appreciate the effort, but Valentine escaped on my watch." Alec sighs deeply, "I deserve to take the heat for it."

"This isn't your fault, it's mine." Isabelle decided to take the blame, "I was the one in charge of the transfer team."

I drop my arms, "Hey- so were Jace and I, don't hog all the fault."

"Look Alec, you are a good leader." Jace told him, "You can't just let Imogen fire you over something you didn't do."

"Alec will do as he's ordered." Robert Lightwood's voice filled our ears, making us all look in the direction it came from as he stood a few feet away from us.

Isabelle stares at him, "Dad?"

Alec didn't seem happy to see him, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm the Clave's envoy." Robert told us, then looked directly towards Alec, "We need to talk."

-

I stood in the doorframe of the room Jace was in after slipping on my black leather jacket over my cold shoulder sweater, "You asked Alec to assign both of us to search Staten Island?"

"Yeah, I needed someone I could trust." Jace flipped through the pages of the book he was looking through, barely glancing at me, acting as if it was nothing.

"Or- you're putting me in a position where I can't avoid you because I'm on the job." I stepped into the room, my eyes glued to him.

"It could be that, who knows." Jace shrugs, then catches my eye for a moment, "You're the one who said finding Valentine had to be a priority."

"Yeah, but I didn't mean we had to search together." I blurt out, walking over to him, my eyes landing on the map he was looking at, "Wait- this is Idris?"

"Yeah." Jace crosses his arms, "You really think Valentine's in Staten Island?"

I looked at him, "No, but I'm pretty sure the Clave has Idris covered."

"Not if they're looking in the wrong place." Jace inhales sharply, "Valentine used to take me to this cabin in Brocelind Forest when I was kid."

I crossed my arms as well, "And you think he's hiding there?"

"Probably not, no." Jace shook his head, "But- I bet you we find more in that cabin than we do in Staten Island."

My eyes were locked with his, "Jace, you need to tell someone."

"Yeah? I did." Jace replied, "The Clave denied my request for a portal."

I brought up a suggestion, "What about Magnus?"

"Magnus is still in the Seelie Court with Luke." Jace told me, moving around the table, "Unfortunately, portalling to Idris without approval isn't exactly sanctioned under the Accords. There's not a lot of warlocks stupid enough to risk it."

"I was thinking, if I could find a warlock that could get me close enough to the Swiss border I could hike it." Jace began to tell me, but slowly his voice became distant as my eyes were glued to the map, "It's only about 30 miles. It's a long shot, but it's the best I can come up with-"

"Jace." My voice was quiet as I noticed the gold rune on the map, "What if we don't need a warlock?"

"What are you talking about?" Jace questions, watching me as I pulled out my stele, "What are you doing?"

My hand glided on the air, drawing the rune before pushing it past Jace, a portal opening behind him, "Holy crap- I just did that-"

Jace looked back at it, speaking louder over the sound of rushing air, "That's impossible."

"It's not if I just did it-" I was shocked with myself, "You're thinking of that cabin, right?"

"Yeah- look, just wait a second, okay?" Jace said to me, but I was already grabbing his arm.

"Come on- the portal's about to close!" I pulled him through with me, before the portal closed.

I opened my eyes on the other side, and I was in water. My eyes instantly went wide, my arms and legs kicking; I didn't know how to swim properly.

When I showed up inches away from shore when I escaped Valentine's ship was a different story.

Now, I was deep in water.

I coughed, swallowing water accidentally, as I felt my lungs start to burn from the lack of oxygen that was being provided to them.

Slowly, my eyes began to roll to the back of my head, as I felt two arms grab onto my waist tightly.

Seconds later, I was on land, feeling a pair of hands on my stomach, pushing repeatedly, hearing a distant voice, "Come on, Zee-"

I suddenly coughed up water and gasped, my eyes snapping open as I rolled onto my knees, coughing and spitting out water.

Jace was next to me, him being the one to save my life, "You okay?"

"Yeah- badass Shadowhunter right here- can draw never seen before runes and kill demons but can't swim-" I coughed more, clearing my throat.

When my coughing fit ended, I sat up on my knees, looking around at the beauty of nature, "Did we make it?"

"Yeah." Jace inhales sharply, "Welcome back to Idris."

I forced myself up onto my teeth and ran a hand through my damp hair, looking around.

Jace got up as well, "I still can't believe you made a portal rune."

I inhale sharply, "I can't either."

"You don't understand." Jace's eyes locked with mine, as he began walking towards the woods, "It took warlocks thousands of years to learn how to use portals, and you just improvised one."

I rushed after him as he continued, "I wanna get out of here before dark. These woods are home to several packs of notoriously feral werewolves."

"Well- Valentine clearly has a different mindset at what's kid friendly." I remark, walking through the woods with him.

Jace lightly shrugged, "Yeah, well, even he wouldn't let me go near the lake."

Suddenly, I felt a wave of dizziness over me as I stumble into a tree, catching myself.

Jace stopped, "You okay?"

I blink a few times, "Yeah, I'm fine-"

"You know an Iratze might be able to help you out with that." Jace points out, making it clear that he noticed me stumble.

I dig through my pockets, "Jace- I don't have my stele. I must have dropped it when I hit the water."

When I looked up at him, he shrugged, walking ahead, "Don't look at me- I left mine in New York."

I followed him as he emphasized, "Someone pulled me through the portal before I had time to get it."

My hand flew up and hit him in the arm.

"Wait- you know what? It's fine- I mean, we don't even need a stele." I cross my arms, "You can activate your runes without them, right?"

Jace shot me a look, "Yeah, I mean you know, theoretically."

"And you were giving me crap about my portal?" I scoff at him, looking up at the sky.

Jace nudged me, "I didn't say I couldn't do it."

Then, I felt the same dizzy feeling again, making me stumble once more and this time almost fall over.

"Yeah, on second thought, I need my stele." I warily said, "We should head back to the lake and see if we can find it."

I began walking back the direction we came from, and I could hear Jace's footsteps behind me but we didn't converse throughout the way back.

When I reached the lake, I walked over where I coughed up water, "You think there's any chance steles can float, right?"

When I didn't hear Jace's reply, I looked behind me to see he was no longer with me.

"Jace?" I called out, doing a complete 360.

Then, I heard his recognizable scream in the distance.

My eyes instantly went wide and I completely forgot about my stele. My heart began beating far is fear, feeling a sudden emptiness deep down.

I rushed back into the words and toward his scream, "Jace!"

I slid to a stop when I notice blood splattered into the dirt, along with the familiar black leather laying on top of it; drenched.

I gasped, thinking the worst.

I ran further into the woods, in search for him.

I pulled out my seraph blade, rushing though my woods, stumbling every now and then, the repetitive wave of dizziness overcoming me.

I gasped when I heard a whooshing behind me, making me slide to a stop, spinning around to see who was behind me.

By now, the sun was at the start of setting, my eyes squinting as I kept turning repeatedly at the whooshing sounds, falling to the ground after getting dizzy.

Then, a man came in view.

My vision was blurry, and I was confused.

He slowly stepped closer, as I blinked, adjusting to who I was looking at, "Hello, Zee."

I scoot back quickly, my voice shaky, "Who are you?"

He stepped closer in delicacy, "You don't recognize me?"

My eyes scan his face, "Ithuriel?"

"I was weaker when we last met." He confirmed it was him, nodding slowly towards me, "Thanks to you, I have recovered."

I forced myself onto my feet, "What are you doing here?"

He stared at me, "Jonathan is alive."

"Jace?" My mind instantly went to the only person I could think about, "Is he okay? Where is he?"

"I can only direct you toward the correct path." Ithuriel said, "You must walk it yourself."

"Ithuriel, please." I stepped closer, pleading, "I need to find Jace- I will do anything."

"Just tell me where he is- please-" I began to beg when he lifts himself off the ground, "Ithuriel!"

-

I was seated on the ground, loosely holding my seraph blade, looking around frantically.

I was breathing heavily, and I was getting dizzier and dizzier by the moment. I couldn't find Jace either.

Slowly, three people approached me.

"Zee?" I heard a feminine voice, as it came from the red head who slowly came closer, "Hey- give me your hand."

Next to her was a blond man, and next to him was another woman, black hair cascading down her back.

I jumped up right away, holding my seraph blade tightly, "Who are you?"

"It's me." The blond came closer to me, his hands out, "It's Jace."

I stepped back, "You're not Jace- I don't know you-"

"You're confused." He took another step closer, "We're here to help you."

I dropped my seraph blade, hearing distant voices in my head, my eyes going wide as I clutched my head, backing away, "Am I going insane? I'm going insane-"

"You're not going insane-" The red head spoke again, "Everything will be okay in a minute."

"The voices- they're getting louder-" I breathe heavily, my eyes glued to the ground, "Jace? Where's Jace- I need him-"

It was like the blond froze at my words.

"I heard him scream- he could be hurt- he could be dead- I can't- I can't do this- without him-" I breathe heavier, gripping my hair tightly, falling to my knees, letting out a cry when the voices in my head only got louder as I spoke, my eyes screwing shut, "Shut up!"

The darker haired girl walked over to me, crouching next to me, holding something in her hand, "Zee, I just need you to hold still."

Before she could touch me, I shoved her back, jumping onto my feet.

I needed to find Jace.

I came here with Jace.

I only could trust Jace.

I didn't know these people.

The red haired girl wrapped her arms around me, as I quickly elbowed her, gripping her arms and throwing her to the ground.

I spun kick, aiming for the blond's face but he was quick to jump back.

The dark haired girl grabbed my arm, the red haired one grabbing my other one, as the blond now held what the dark haired girl tried to use on me.

As he reached to use it, my foot flew up and knocked it out of his hands, using my foot to push him back.

I tore myself out of their grasp and was stood between them, as they surrounded me.

I turned, looking between them, my hands balled into fists, the voices slowly sounding my ears again, as I struggled to focus.

The red head spoke, "Look, we're not gonna hurt you-"

"You're not gonna get the chance." My foot slammed down against the small weapon they were going to use against me that laid on the ground, snapping it in half.

The red head dug through her pockets as if she was looking for a back up, "I don't have mine-"

As I began to make my move on the blond, he quickly stopped me, "Hey- stop, stop!"

"Look- I know you're scared, but it's me." He sounded sincere, trying to get through to me, "It's Jace."

I don't give in, my fist aiming for his jaw, but he was quick, grabbing my fist and spinning me around so I faced the two women, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"Let go!" I shrieked, trying to fight out of his grasp.

"Hey- hey!" His voice was firm but gentle, holding me even tighter, "It's okay- everything's going to be okay!"

Seconds later, he grabbed my forearms firmly and spun me to face him, holding me there.

He looked deep into my eyes, and I couldn't look away.

His eyes shined gold, and all the voices in my head disappeared, along with the wave of dizziness.

"Jace." I had escaped reality staring into his eyes, and it felt like we were the only two people here, "You're okay?"

The relief rushing through my body that he was okay made the tensing feeling in my shoulders disappear.

Jace wouldn't look away, "Now that you are."

I couldn't look away.

I was lost in him.

Before I could stop myself by resistance, I grabbed the collar of his jacket, pushing myself onto my tippy toes and pressed my lips into his.

Jace was caught off guard by me doing this, due to how much I had been avoiding him, but he pulled me closer and kissed back.

When I realized that we're still in Idris and Isabelle and Clary were standing right behind us, I pull back.

I clear my throat, looking down, noticing Clary and Isabelle smiling like idiots from the corner of my eye, and a very confused Jace staring at me, "Sorry-"

-

The cabin was a bust. By the time we had gotten there, we knew someone had been there. But, when we entered, it was completely empty; we were too late.

We had gotten back to the Institute a little while ago, and I was just now stepping into the room Jace was in, as he looked through books.

My eyes were glued to him, but no words came out of my mouth. I was just so glad he was okay.

My eyes raked up and down his body, staring at him in awe. I just couldn't look away.

Jace notices my burning stare and looks up, his gaze tearing away from the books, "What's up?"

"Can we talk?" My voice was soft and gentle, as I fiddled with my fingers, afraid he was decline.

I knew I was confusing him.

I avoided him and then suddenly I admitted that I needed him and kissed him in front of Isabelle and Clary.

Jace closed the book he was looking at and sets it to the side of the desk he was seated in front of, "I've been wanting to for a while, so yeah- we can talk."

I closed the door behind me, walking over to him, pushing himself onto the desk he was seated in front of, seating myself on the corner where there were no books, even the space in front of him was clear as well.

I ran a hand through my curly hair, "Jace."

"Zee." Jace was slouched in his seat, his eyes glued to mine.

"I'm really glad you're okay." I began quietly, lightly swinging my feet, "I was really afraid something happened to you."

Jace folds his hands, "We were at the lake- and then suddenly you were gone."

I change the subject, "Jace- what I said when I was- practically losing my mind-"

"You said you needed me and you couldn't do this without me." Jace remembered it perfectly, slowly sitting up in his seat, "I didn't know you needed me."

My voice came out quieter than I thought, "I always need you, Jace."

Jace's eyes were locked with mine, as he doesn't reply to this. It looked like he was holding himself back from doing something.

"Look- Jace," I inhale sharply, "The only other time I had been that scared for someone was when I couldn't find Clary the night I met you."

"I know I was hallucinating- but, hearing you scream- seeing leather that was just- drenched in blood on the ground- not knowing if you were alive or dead," I continued, looking at my feet and avoiding his stare so I could finish my sentence without backing out, "I was terrified."

"I have never felt for someone the way that I feel for you." I hesitantly brought my stare back up and connected my eyes with his, "It's you- it's always been you-"

A gasp leaves my lips when Jace stood up and grabbed my face, pressing his lips into mine.

I almost instantly kiss back, my hands resting on his chest, melting into the kiss completely.

Moments later, he pulls away from the kiss and I looked into his eyes, barely being able to speak louder than a whisper, "What was that for?"

"I've just wanted to be the one to do that for so long." Jace's thumb caressed my cheek, "Not because of the Seelie Queen- not because you threw yourself onto me after regaining sanity-"

"I did not throw myself onto you!" I gasp, hitting his arm as he softly laughed, "I was-"

"I'm kidding." He chuckles softly, biting down on his body lip to hold back a smile.

"Jace, I want this. I want us- more than I have ever wanted anything in the world." I held his collar of his t shirt and stared up at him, "You want this too, right?"

Jace's lip slips out from under his teeth when he spoke, "So- this is your way of saying you want to be my girlfriend?"

"If you want to put it that way, sure." I pretended to look away in thought, then go back to serious and vulnerable, repeating my words, "You want this too, right?"

In this moment, I don't think I have ever been so vulnerable and sensitive in front of someone.

He could either be my entire world, or destroy me with one word.

Jace's voice was quiet and full of sincerity, "More than anything in the world."

A small smile crept onto my face, as I leaned up, pressing my lips into his once more, as we shared another sweet kiss.

"Did you find anything in Valentine's books?" I ask when we pulled away, looking at the books resting a few inches away from me on the same surface.

"These aren't books- they're journals." Jace sighed lightly, opening back up the one he was looking at, "Valentine used to keep these on the highest shelf in the cabin."

"I remember trying to read one once, see what all the fuss was about." Jace continued, "He got to me before I could even open it."

"That was the last time we went back to that cabin." Jace recalled, my eyes scanning the page, "Now I know why."

"Jonathan Christopher." I read, slipping off the desk, my eyes looking over the neat cursive writing, "These are about you."

"Morgenstern." Jace pointed to one side of the entry that was tilted, then the other, "Herondale."

Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern.

Jonathan Christopher Herondale.

I could barely stammer out the words, "You were- you were opposite ends of the same experiment?"

"There are hundreds of pages of notes." Jace flipped through them, "It's years' worth of research. These- these journals, they're all that's left of my childhood."

"Jace, wait." Realization hit me like a truck as I picked up one of the journals and looked through it, "This was 10 years ago."

"Jonathan died in a fire when he was an infant- how could Valentine still be studying him if he was already dead?" My eyes slowly moved from him, and to the table, "Unless he isn't."

Jace's eyebrows furrow, "Wait-"

"When I was wandering the woods looking for you in Idris- I saw Ithuriel." I set the journal down, "He told me that Jonathan was still alive and I was so worried about you that I didn't give it any second thought-"

"Ithuriel wasn't talking about you, Jace-" I put the pieces together, "He was talking about my brother."

"Jonathan." Something I couldn't decipher crosses my features, "He's still alive."

authors note:

hi , if you guys ship zace i published another jace herondale book that you should totally go read

if you follow me , you've probably already seen that i published it , but if you don't , you can go to my profile and find it on there !

i also published another alec lightwood book , one you can also find on my profile !

first two chapters of the new books are up !

also, you're welcome for this zace content

vote and comment loaaaads !