I swallowed hard, standing in front of the entrance to the City of Bones.

My hand touched the rune engraved in the stone, as it lit up, the stone dragging against each other as the entrance was opened to me, a breeze whipping through my hair.

I took a deep breath, slowly entering, walking down the steps and through the tunnels, sounds of wailing in the distance, my eyes landing on the statue. The statue I had saw when I first came here with Jace.

I gasp when a Silent Brother had stepped out of the dark, "What is your business here, Shadowhunter?"

I inhale sharply, "I need to see Jace Wayland."

He simply nods, leading me through the hall where there was many cries and screams from the people imprisoned.

Suddenly, an arm reaches out through the bars, grabbing onto mine, a man desperately calling to me, "Get me out of here- please-"

I gasp, staring at him with wide eyes, "I- let go of me- please-"

The Silent Brother spoke, "Pay no heed to their desperation. They all deserve to be here. Infractions against the Clave do not go unpunished."

"Get me out!" The man desperate shouted.

I pulled my arm away, my eyes wide as ever, as I slowly followed the Silent Brother to Jace's cell.

Jace sat in the dark, the light from the flame that was lit only fanning over his face, exposing his features.

"Jace." I whisper, my eyes now glued to him, as the Silent Brother stepped back, allowing me to speak to him.

"You shouldn't have come here." Jace got up, "Take her out."

"No- no-" I shook my head, "I'm not going anywhere- I want to know you're gonna be okay."

Jace hesitantly steps closer, "Is Alec safe? Is he all right?"

"Alec's fine." I sigh, "Jace, I'm sorry- you're here because of me. If I hadn't fallen under Dot's spell- you wouldn't have gotten so-"

"You're not what put me here, Zee." Jace shook his head, "I have to pay for my actions."

"What can I do to help?" I question, "I will do anything- putting you in here was wrong- and I'll do anything to get you out."

Jace swallowed hard, grabbing the bars and looks at me, "You can stay away from me."

My heart dropped, "What?"

"No matter what happens, never come near me again." Jace shook his head, staring right into my eyes.

"Jace, what are you talking about?" I fought, "You're my family."

"I am Valentine's weapon." Jace corrected me, "You think he's just gonna let me go?"

I sigh, "Jace-"

"He knows that you-" Jace blurted out, sighing deeply, his voice falling low, "You're my weakness."

My voice fell into a whisper, repeating what he just said, "Your weakness."

"If I ever get out of here, he'll come after you again." Jace exclaimed.

"Let him." I stare at him, "I'm not afraid. We have Alec- Izzy- Clary- Simon- Magnus- we'll fight him off- together."

Jace stepped away, "There is no together for you and me, Zee. There never can be."

And that was when my heart broke.

"Jace." Tears flooded my eyes, as I stepped back, "No-"

"We're done here." Jace backs away into the dark.

"Jace, please, don't do this." My voice cracks, the Silent Brother starting to lead me away from his cell, "Jace!"

"Goodbye, Zee." Jace sighs, disappearing into the dark of his cell, as I called out his name, his cell disappearing from my sight.

-

"Honey-" My eyes landed on my mother after I was readjusting my emerald green sweater over my medium washed ripped jeans, "I've been looking all over for you."

"I've been in my room, Mom." I look at her, "We've for that briefing to go to- what's up?"

"I heard you went to see Jace." She places her hands on my sides, "Is he all right?"

"I don't want to talk about it-" I exhale deeply.

She hugs me for a moment or two, rubbing my back, "I know that right now it hurts- but it'll get better."

"I can only take your word for it." I sigh, looking at her.

"There's something I have to tell you." She pulls away, "The Clave is reassigning Jocelyn to Idris- And they want me to come along."

"What?" I question, "Idris- why?"

"She's Valentine's ex-wife- I've been his prisoner. We hid the Cup for 18 years." She exhales, "They're testing our loyalty."

"But- the Clave has to know that you're not on Valentine's side." I cross my arms, "You his the Cup so Valentine couldn't get his hands on it- you helped rescue Jocelyn from Valentine- I mean- just tell them you'll prove your loyalty here."

"I wish it were up to me." She gave me a weak smile, "But- I have no choice."

"But-" I began to protest, "I only just got you back."

"I know." She took a deep breath, "That's why I want you to come with me."

I choke on my own spit, "Move to Idris?"

"Jocelyn is going to ask Clary also- and it's totally up to you guys." She assures me, "I know it's a big change, but I could finally show you where you come from. And we'd have a fresh start- together."

"Mom-" I stare at her, "I need time to think about this- okay?"

"Of course- yeah." She nods, smiling gently, "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." I gave her a side hug, before heading to my door, swinging it open, a shriek leaving the lips when Isabelle, Clary and Alec stood directly in front of me, Alec having his fist up to knock on my door.

"Demon attack downtown." Isabelle was already filling me in, "One mundane dead."

"And we don't have Jace, so-" Alec trails off, his arm dropping to his side, "You're with us."

"Did I hear that correctly?" I gape at Alec, "You want me on your team?"

"It's not my first choice, but we're a man down, and everyone else is on patrol." Alec shot me a look, before heading down the hall, "Gear up."

-

"Well, this is one nasty demon." Isabelle took a sample, "Punched a hole right through his chest."

As Clary and I walked around, scanning the perimeter, Alec, Luke and Isabelle dealt with the body.

"With that kind of strength, I doubt it's done yet." Luke walked over to them, crossing his arms.

"Nothing in the immediate area." Isabelle stood up, "We're taking the body back to the Institute. I'll run some tests to see what kind of demon we're dealing with."

Alec nods, "Zee and I will widen the perimeter."

"Hey, Young!" Alec calls out to me, making me halt in my footsteps and look at him, "We got a demon to hunt- come on."

He turns, walking away without me, as I chased after him, not being able to keep up with his fast footsteps.

"Most important thing." Alec began to instruct, "Don't slow me down- you slow me down, you get us both killed."

"That's- reasonable-" I almost trip over my own feet, "You're walking too fast for me-"

Alec abruptly stops and grabs my hand, searing a rune onto my hand.

"Okay- what's this one for?" I questioned.

"Lets you see the demon's heat signature." Alec answered me, my eyes roaming around.

It was as if I had a new lenses over my eyes, as I repeatedly blink, "I-"

"First time can be sensory overload." Alec watched me, "The trick is to focus. Try to filter out everything unimportant, hone in on the heat signature."

My eyes squint as I tried to concentrate and focus, "Yeah, I'm honing. I'm just not seeing anything."

"Patience." Alec starts to walk without me.

"Easy for you to say-" I quickly rush behind him, "For someone who hasn't been training her whole life, this stuff is impossible."

"Impossible just means try again." Alec shrugs, then scoffs, "Not that you have to worry about all that. You'll be outta the field soon enough."

I looked at him, "Huh?"

"You're going to Idris." Alec looks at me.

"Oh- uh-" I blink, "I haven't decided yet, so don't get too excited about throwing me a going away party."

"Honestly, I think you'll like Idris." Alec gently shrugs, "It's amazing."

I hum, "I bet that it'd be pretty amazing to get me out of your hair, huh?"

"I didn't say that." Alec began to smile, turning the corner, "You did."

I stop when I notice he turned the corner, chasing after him, practically eating the dust of his fast pace, "Alec- I literally can't keep up with you!"

"Just grab my arm and try and keep up-" Alec shot me a look, "We don't have time for this-"

I roll my eyes, running to his side and grabbing his arm, moving my legs fast with his footsteps, as we crossed the street, my eyes squinting as Alec and I slowly turned a corner, hearing quick breathing and shuddering, the heat signature now showing.

"Alec-" I pull on his arm and stop him, as he hears the sound also.

I let go of his arm, the both of us pulling out our seraph blades, slowly nearing the back of the trash cans, only to see a girl, breathing shakily, her hand covered her blood, a few smears on her face and clothes.

The girl looked between Alec and I, shuddering, "What happened? Who are you?"

I slowly put my blade away, "It's okay-"

"It's a classic possession hangover." Alec mutters to me, "Once the demon leaves the body, they have no memory of what they did."

The girl stared at her hand, "Is this blood?"

The girl starts to breathe heavily, her eyes wide, tearing up.

"Hey, don't look at your hand, okay?" I crouch in front of her, putting my hands on her forearms, "Look at me-"

She looks at me, her voice quiet, "I don't understand. What's going on?"

"I know nothing makes sense to you right now-" I rubbed her arms in comfort, "But- my friend and I, we're going to help you. I promise."

The girl breathed heavily, starting to calm down at my words, as I looked back at Alec, the both of us exchanging looks.

-

"Oh, my God, Welkie!" Clary exhales as we rushed through the Institute, our fellow Shadowhunter on the forums, dead, another curled up in a corner, his had stained with blood.

His eyes were wide, "What happened?"

"Classic possession hangover." I looked at Alec.

"Hole punched right through his chest." Isabelle walks over, "Just like our mundane in the morgue."

Alec crouched over the body, "The demon's in the Institute."

Within moments, we were heading towards the Ops Center and gearing up, Lydia speaking, "Activate emergency surveillance. Victor's unreachable. I've ordered the Institute be put on quarantine until we kill this thing."

"But- I don't get it." Clary spoke, "How did the demon get past the wards?"

"Same way it got in without setting off this." Isabelle touched her necklace, "It must have some advanced cloaking ability. It hid in that dead body and let us do the rest."

I looked between them all, "I didn't know demons could do that."

"Until now, they couldn't." Alec replied to me, "This new form of possession, cloaking ability, targeting the Institute, it's-"

"Valentine." I finished his sentence, "His experiments."

Clary nods, "My mom told me how he was determined to create a super-being that could defeat the Clave."

I sigh, "It's what he tried to do with Jace."

"Both victims had damage to the prefrontal cortex." Isabelle exclaims, "The demon must be feeding on negative emotions- anger, hate, rage. Causing the host to violently act on those urges."

"So we continue to scan for venom and heat signatures." Alec nods, "Try to narrow down the host before it strikes again."

Lydia pulled up a hologram of the Institute, "Clary and Alec, you check the living quarters."

"You two take the utility tunnels." Lydia points to Isabelle and I.

I nod, following Isabelle out.

-

"Demon ichor." Isabelle watches as the substance dripped onto the ground and form into a puddle, "It must've come through here after the kill upstairs."

"So Idris, huh?" Isabelle mentioned as we moved away and down the tunnel, "I thought you were a New York City girl, tried-and-true."

"I swear- I feel like everyone knows about it already." I held my blade tighter, "I'm a Queens at heart- but this place is my home."

"You live in this place long enough, you know everything." Isabelle comments, looking around, "Queens? I thought you were Brooklyn."

"I moved when my mother was supposedly killed-" I looked around, "With the whole Idris thing- Is there a rune for letting you be in two places at once?"

"I wish." Isabelle chuckled.

"My mom wants me to go with her- I can tell she really wants me to." I sigh deeply, "And we went through so much to get her back, but I just- I don't know. I want to stay here but I don't want to leave her."

Isabelle shrugs, "At least you have a mom who wants to be with you. Who thinks you're smart and wonderful-"

"Not to bitch about my mom but-" I trail off, "She erased my memories- and then I ended up with Jocelyn as my second parent and- all she's done is lie to me- about my family- and having a brother."

"I'm not saying she hasn't done some pretty screwed up things." Isabelle shrugs, "But all moms do. So- maybe you should be glad you have one who wants to try and make things right."

"You have a point." I looked at her, "Wait-"

Isabelle stops and looks at me, "What?"

My eyes squint in suspicion, "You think I should go?"

"Of course not." Isabelle softly laughs, "No one in Idris is gonna teach you how to fight in five-inch heels."

"Come on." Isabelle smiles gently and opened the door to the next tunnel, "We've got a demon to hunt."

-

I open my bedroom door, my eyes landing on my mother, jumping lightly when I walked in.

"Mom?" I slowly took off my jacket and put it down.

She sighed, "You caught me being a helicopter mom, making sure there are no monsters under your bed."

I weakly smile, "Well, given what that demon just did to Lydia, I don't blame you."

"I actually just saw her in the infirmary." I walked over to her.

My mother put the stele away, "How is she?"

"She's hurt pretty badly, but she's gonna pull through." I cross my arms.

"It's nice to hear something positive." She smiles at me.

"Mom-" I took a deep breath, changing the subject. "About Idris-"

She could read right through me, an understanding smile on her lips, "You want to stay here."

I open my mouth, staring at her, "You- took the words right out of my mouth."

The smile doesn't leave from her lips, my eyebrows furrowing.

"I promise- there is a part of me that wants to come with you-" I place my hands on her arms, "But- this is my home. Idris is yours. And- there are people here that I can't leave."

She nods her head, wrapping her arms around me, accepting my choice, the smile from her face remaining.

-

[ jace's pov ]

"You stand before the sword, accused of treason against the Clave, as well as the murder of two Downworlders." Brother Jeremiah spoke, as he places the Soul Sword in my hands, my wrists chained, as I stood on the higher platform, staring right at Aldertree, "Be thee innocent or guilty, may the truth free thy soul."

Aldertree clears his throat, "Have you anything to say before we start?"

"Facilis descensus Averno." I breathe in deeply.

"The descent into Hell is easy." Aldertree barely smiled, "I'm glad you believe in our sacred Clave motto."

I stare at him, "Alec and I use it to remind each other we can't be broken."

Aldertree began, "Did you kill the werewolf Gretel Monroe?"

I shook my head, "No."

"But you captured her for your father, Valentine Morgenstern, after being encouraged by your spellbound half-sister." Aldertree mentions.

"I accept full responsibility for my actions." I swallow hard.

"You have a great love for your sister, don't you?" Aldertree trailed off.

"Leave Zee out of this." I tried my best to avoid it.

"Yes or no?" Aldertree pressed.

I strain, "Yes."

"In fact, to my understanding, you two were involved in a romantic relationship prior to the discovery that you were siblings." Aldertree stepped closer, "Is that true?"

I breathe heavily, "Yes."

"What about now?" Aldertree questioned, "Do you love her the way a brother loves his sister?"

The Soul Sword glows in my hands, as I tried to resist. "I've tried to fight it, but-"

Aldertree folds his hands, "A simple yes or no."

"Do you love Zee the way a brother loves his sister?" Aldertree pushed.

No matter how hard I tried, The Soul Sword had forced the truth out.

"No." I strain, "It's more than that."

"I see." Aldertree exhales, "Do you love your father?"

"I love the dream of the father I wished he'd be." I answer him.

"The kind of father who wouldn't kill a young boy's falcon?" Aldertree was picking at every straw, catching me off guard, "Yes. I know more than you think about you and dear dad. To love is to destroy. Quite a harsh lesson for a six-year-old boy. Do you agree with that sentiment?"

My voice broke, "Yes."

Aldertree sighs, "Do you feel your father's goal to kill all Downworlders is just?"

"Yes and no." I answered.

Aldertree stares at me, "Which one is it?"

"Both." I inhale sharply, "My father's world view may be misguided, but I've seen the vampire dens that are thriving because of the Clave's lack of action. Your lack of action."

"Final question." Aldertree steps up, "Can you pledge your unconditional loyalty to the Clave?"

I breathe heavily, "Facilis descensus Averno."

"I asked you a question." He repeated, "Can you pledge your unconditional loyalty to the Clave?"

I stammer, "I-"

"Answer!" He shouts.

"No!" I blurted out, "No, I can't."

Aldertree exhales, "Based on your testimony I will recommend to the Clave a punishment of life imprisonment. May the Angel have mercy on you."

What went through my mind resulted in me taking the sword in my hands and putting it to my neck, ready to slit my own throat.

But I was then screaming in pain due to it erupting in my hand, as I dropped the sword, falling onto my knees.

"Thank you, Brother Jeremiah." Aldertree looked at me, "There will be no martyrs here."

-

[ zee's pov ]

I walked through the halls, heading towards my room.

I was going to sit in my room in draw, in hopes that it would take my mind off everything that's been going on lately.

Jace, how I felt like I shattered my mother's heart by saying I didn't want to go to Idris, and this new demon roaming around the Institute.

At this point, it felt like that was my only escape.

Now that Jace was imprisoned, I had no other escape.

As I turn the corner, I abruptly stop once my eyes landed on Alec, in a state I least expected; classic possession hangover.

He stared at his blood stained hand, his breathing uneven, his eyes slightly wide, as he was in a state of shock.

"Alec?" His name immediately slipped out of my mouth, as I rushed over to him, crouching, my hands resting on his forearms, "Alec- oh my god-"

Alec's eyes connect with mine, as he shuddered, "What did I do?"

My eyes trail down from his eyes, to his hand, then the trail of blood leading into the room.

I slowly got up, hesitantly taking a step towards the room where the blood trailed into, standing in the door frame, looking in, to see what had happened.

I wish I never looked.

There lied both my mother and Jocelyn, dead.

Holes punched through their chests.

My mother's hand also stained in blood.

But I couldn't care less about who's hand was stained and not.

I had lost my mother, again.

And this time, she wasn't going to come back.

This was real.

This wasn't a host that someone had played to fool me into thinking she was dead.

She was really dead.

My back pressed up against the door, my eyes widening, a red tint behind them as I teared up almost instantly, shock and sorrow filling my chest.

Alec slowly got up, leaning against the frame, breathing heavily as he stared at what he had done.

I slid down the door, covering my mouth, the tears in my eyes slipping, "No-"

-

I watched the surveillance footage, stood between Alec and Clary.

My eyes were glued to the screen, as I watched my mother become possessed by the demon, and kill Jocelyn mid conversation.

She was shocked and fell to her knees, looking between her hand and her dead best friend.

Then, Alec had came into the room, and done the exact same thing to her, what she had done to Jocelyn.

"Oh, my God." Alec swallowed, staring at the scene, guilt threaded in his tone.

Clary was sighing quietly into her hand, hugging onto me for comfort.

I had a hand on the back of her head, letting her cry into my shoulder, my eyes glued to the scene, the tears present in my eyes, but they didn't fall.

Alec looks at me, "Zee, I-"

My palm snaps up, stopping him from speaking, as I spoke through my gritted teeth, feeling only rage boil through my blood, "The demon's mine."

Clary pulled away from me, her eyes connecting with mine, and I knew, she only saw hurt and anger.

And I was going to channel that anger to kill this demon.

I turn, walking away from them, walking through the Ops Center and towards the training room.

Alec chased after me, coming to my side, a mixture of plea and beseech threaded in his tone, "Please, let me do this. You don't have to put yourself in danger- especially not now. I don't know what I'd do if you got killed to-"

I stay silent, continuing to head thorough the training room, not replying to Alec's request.

I was wordless, and filled with rage.

"Izzy, we need your help!" Alec calls out when Isabelle was walking toward us from the opposite direction, "Margaret's-"

"Dead because of you." Isabelle's voice was demonic, as she ran, trying to punch a hole through his chest.

I grab Alec's arm, pulling him towards me, as he was already dodging Isabelle.

Isabelle looks at us, growling.

"There's my demon." I pulled out my blade, adjusting my grip.

Clary ran in to assist, holding a tight grip on her blade also.

"It's still Izzy." Alec aimed an arrow at her, "Be careful where you aim."

Isabelle charges towards us, knocking Clary to the side first, a groan leaving her lips.

Isabelle came after me next, and despite my attempts to fight back, I had ended up hitting the pillar, grunting, sliding down it.

She knocks Alec's bow out of his hand, Alec wrapping his arms her quickly, "Izzy, please stop!"

In seconds, Isabelle had Alec to the ground, and was on top of him, holding him down, Alec refusing to hurt his little sister.

"Always the favorite child." Isabelle spat, "I'm done living in your shadow."

Alec was begging, "Izzy, if you're in there, please listen to me."

"Nice try." Isabelle smiles, really to have him join the dead.

I got up, grabbing Clary's seraph dagger that rested on the ground, piercing the blade into her shoulder, pulling her off of Alec.

Alec quickly sat up, his eyes slightly wide as he watched what went down.

I pulled the blade out, a black mist seeping out of the wound, and moving into the air, Isabelle falling onto the ground.

The anger I was feeling completely consumed me.

I felt no shock of my mother's dead in that moment. I only felt the anger that was fueling me.

I grunt, impaling my dagger into the demon, at it disappeared into nothingness.

And in that moment, I wish I was that demon.

I wanted to disappear into nothingness.

I drop the dagger, rushing over to Isabelle, "Iz-"

Clary and Alec were now kneeling with me, as we flipped her onto her back, trying to wake her up.

"Izzy, are you all right?" Clary questions, "Izzy!"

"Please- Izzy-" Alec inhales sharply and held her face, "Please be okay, Izzy."

Isabelle gasps, starting to slowly sit up.

Alec pulled her upper body onto his lap, grabbing his stele, starting to Iratze her.

I stood up, backing away, my breathing starting to become uneven.

Tears stung in my eyes, the shock of my mother's loss finally setting in.

Turns out killing that demon didn't make me feel any better. I only felt worse.

She was gone.

I had just gotten her back.

After years of thinking she was dead, she was gone again.

She was ripped away from me, for the second time.

I had no idea why tears brimmed in my eyes, because I felt nothing.

I truly felt nothing.

I was numb.

The pain was too much.

So much that I couldn't bare.

And I couldn't feel it.

Unexpectedly, Jace walked in with Aldertree, his eyes immediately landing on me.

I stepped back again, not even questioning it.

I couldn't think about that right now.

As Jace started to make his way towards me, Simon had run in, shoving past Jace, using his speed to get to me first.

"Hey-" Simon softly said, his eyes connecting with mine.

I said nothing.

Simon wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.

But, I didn't want anyone's comfort.

I push him away, "Don't touch me-"

Simon stares at me, concern crossing his features, reaching out for me again, "Young-"

I push his hand away, stepping back, "I said don't touch me, Simon!"

Simon stood still, staring at me.

Jace's stare burned into me, as Alec picked Isabelle up, quickly leaving to get her some more help.

Clary slowly got up, hugging Simon's side, leading him out of the room, knowing how I felt.

I face Jace, my eyes connecting with his.

Jace's breathing was uneven, his eyes glued to mine.

I broke eye contact, and walked past him, leaving the room.

authors note:

there was more zalec moments here then zace, hm

and omg fuck margaret's dead, i'm officially crying

also i weirdly really like how i portrayed how zee felt towards the end like wow