A/N
There was a double update so if you haven't read the part before this go back to read it!

Chapter 44

●●●

About six months after Taehyung had left Jungkook actually ended up buying some stuff for when he would come back. For one clothes, since Taehyung needed to start wearing his own clothes and actually did have a bit of a different shoe size from Jungkook, and secondly some bath salts that Eunji swore by.

It was more of an act of boredom than anything else, but he was happy with what he had bought. He'd made sure the pants and underwear were relatively wide and comfortable and that the t-shirts fit Taehyung's looks. It wasn't like Taehyung would care about this, but Jungkook had fun picking out stuff with Eunji's help. Especially because of all the joking around they did. All Jungkook had told her about Taehyung was that he had somewhat reconciled with Taehyung, who of course was his cousin and not a scary siren, and that he kind of wanted to surprise him once he came back.

"I'm glad you managed to make some time today." Eunji smiled poking his ribs. "How come getting your dick wet and uni always get prioritized over me."

"Honestly my biggest fault. Hanging out with you would probably be a lot more healthy for me."

Eunji furrowed her eyebrows. "Did anything happen with Sohye?"

Jungkook shrugged. Not exactly. Really the problem had been there right from the beginning. It was fun to get his dick wet as Eunji had called it, but Jungkook apparently had gone too soft from his relationship with Eunji. He didn't enjoy sex outside of a relationship as much anymore, because he was missing the affection and care. And while Sohye was fun she had started getting on his nerves.

Sure she had seemed pretty into the idea of possibly getting together but Jungkook didn't even really like her. He didn't dislike her either and the sex had been fun at times while being just straight up frustrating at other times. So after two months of moving around something that could only be called a grayzone between fuckbuddies and dating Jungkook had finally decided to call Sohye and "break up" if that was the right word.

Honestly Jungkook was more than ready for Taehyung to return. If he didn't show up soon too distract Jungkook of just how bored he was growing while drowning in uni work. Jungkook was pretty sure that if nothing interesting happened soon he'd impulse change his major he was sure of it.

"I ended things and she took it personally."

Eunji grimaced. "She seemed into you."

"Eh." Jungkook glanced around. He really didn't feel like continuing this conversation. Seemingly sensing that Jungkook wanted to change the topic she did for him.

"Hey, how about we go get some coffee?" Eunji asked curiously, pointing at the one starbucks they had in that mall. Jungkook wasn't exactly in the mood for coffee but he was craving something sweet and he was sure that some cake was probably not going to make his day worse.

"Sure."

As usual, since this was one of the few coffee shops in town, Jungkook was scanning for familiar faces. They were almost certain to run into someone they knew. The level of familiarity usually played the decisive factor in whether Jungkook was going to try to act like he didn't or let himself be pulled in for a conversation about how things had been going recently.

And of course this time wasn't an exception. He spotted a few people he knew from uni lectures, who were clearly using the free wifi and power sockets to get some homework done. Some of them Jungkook had actually talked to a few times, so when Jungkook was done with ordering their food and drinks they made their way over there.

"Hey guys." Eunji lifted her hand in greeting, smiling wide and invitingly... but then the smile faltered. It was just a second. Something most people at the table probably didn't even notice, but Jungkook could see how she froze up. The way her smile got stuck for a few seconds and she looked a little uncomfortable. When he followed her eyes he realized why.

There, at the table, a laptop open in front of her just like everyone else, was Minji. Her hair was tied up in a lazy bun and she had done her makeup a little differently than what Jungkook remembered from when he had last seen her, but it was clearly her.

Just like Eunji's, her smile was a little forced and uncomfortable as she looked up at them both.

Jungkook had a hard time figuring out what he was feeling. For one he felt odd, seeing a face he'd been so attached to just months ago, but mostly he felt betrayal and a bit of sadness. She had left him to pursue her own dream, leaving Jungkook to rot alone in his own personal jail.

And Jungkook hadn't really had the time to work through it. Before he'd had the chance to properly get over her, a certain siren had almost drowned him and then his focus had shifted. And yet the emotions he felt when he looked at her were a lot less intense than they had been before Taehyung had shown up.

Back then Jungkook had fluctuated a lot between anger, sadness and loneliness. He'd get really angry, or sad or lonely and just feel overwhelmed with that one emotion. One time he had wanted to call her to tell her how much of a fucking asshole she was and one time he had actually called her, drunk and kind of sobbing to her to please take him back.

It had been a bad time. Which was why it startled him when he noticed how much more muted those emotions were. He looked at her and he still felt a little angry that she had left. He had actually missed her a little these last few months because he missed being in a relationship... but those emotions were not nearly as intense as they had been before.

"Hey." He forced himself to greet the group, breaking off eye contact with Minji. It was a bit of an awkward situation, but he wasn't a child. He could very well deal with that himself.

"What are you guys doing?"

The group consisted of three guys and two girls, including Minji. Jungkook didn't know the other girl, but he had talked to all three of the guys before, although he only remembered the name of one of them. The same guy who actually ended up answering him.

"We're using group pressure to stop ourselves from procrastinating and might go to the beach later and drink by the campfire."

Jungkook had to admit, that sounded like a good idea. Especially since it seemed to work for the five of them, they were actually working.

"You guys maybe wanna come too? When it's more people it's actually more fun."

Jungkook hesitated a bit. For one he really liked the idea of just hanging out for a bit and having a good time, but at the same time he knew Minji was going to be there too. He found Eunji glancing at him, her eyes clearly asking him whether Jungkook wanted to go or not. It was up to him. If he wanted to say no he could... but in a way that would have meant he was only running from the past and Jungkook wasn't about to do that.

He didn't want to be that person that got hung up on what had previously happened. Yes, Minji was his ex. So what? He wasn't a child. He could very well cope with his emotions even around his ex.

"Yeah sure. Where should we meet?"

Jungkook made it a point not to make eye contact with Minji again as he and the guy exchanged numbers so they could actually communicate in case the plan ended up being changed. Jungkook really just wanted to have fun again. He hadn't had any in way too long.

Jungkook couldn't remember the last time he'd been dancing. Maybe that had been the reason why he had been so bored. He'd actually stopped doing that only a few months before Minji had broken up with him. He'd hurt his ankle and put his lessons on pause and hadn't really picked it up after that.

But right there, dancing by the fire with Eunji, probably a little too drunk for his own good and with music that he really wouldn't have liked any other day but actually enjoyed with a bit of alcohol, he was actually having fun for the first time in a while. For some reason the ocean and the sound of waves in general... had become a bit of a comfort for Jungkook. They hadn't been at first but now he really just connected sitting by the beach with relaxing. Even more so than even sitting on his couch.

The ocean was just beautiful and the fresh night air kept his mind sharp and awake. He felt good, even if it was a little cold.

He knew Minji was watching him. Every time he turned his head in the wrong direction he could see her out of the corner of his eyes... and he wondered why. Why was she watching him like this? Like she wanted to talk to him. There was nothing to talk about. She had been the one who had left him. For stupid reasons, in Jungkook's opinion, but they had been important enough to her.

Overall everyone seemed to be in a great mood. When Eunji was out of breath from their absolutely beautiful – note the sarcasm – performance they ended up sitting down, and as time passed most people ended up crowding around the fire as the air got colder.

They played a few games, told each other stories and shared secrets... and Jungkook was actually having a good time for most of the evening. He mostly just acted like he didn't know Minji. Like they didn't have any history together. At least that's what he told himself. He listened to her when she spoke in the group but barely reacted. Didn't let his gaze linger longer than necessary.

It was only when Eunji left with the other girl to search for a place to go pee without being seen by the guys by the fire that Munji ended up approaching him. Jungkook had sat down in one of the areas of the beach that was closer to the water. A few meters away from the fire. Just far enough on land that no wave would wet his pants, but close enough to skip some stones.

Minji ended up sitting down next to him. Jungkook really didn't want to talk to her. There was nothing left to be said in his opinion. He wasn't angry anymore, but he certainly didn't appreciate her either. She was just a little on the negative and especially awkward side of neutral.

"Hey." Her voice was soft. Just like he remembered. He used to like it, now it was mainly frustrating to hear her talk like that.

"Hey." He continued staring up ahead, skipping another stone.

"You're still angry." It sounded more like a statement than a question.

"Not really." Wow, he did sound a little angry. Maybe he was a little angry. He was just pissed that she'd been able to just leave like that. There had been no mutual decision. She had just decided to throw a perfectly fine relationship away for something that she had apparently considered more important.

"It's okay if you are. I get it." Jungkook didn't want her to get him. He just wanted her to leave him alone. He didn't want to talk. He really didn't want to reconcile. He was perfectly fine denying that she existed.

"Great." Jungkook threw another stone, listening to multiple splashes before the sound was swallowed up by the surrounding waves.

"Look, I'm not here to get your forgiveness, but I do want to apologize. I know that was shitty from me and I know that I should have told you sooner that I was applying for that university and not just when they accepted me."

Jungkook really didn't want to have this conversation. It just reminded him of a lot of things that pissed him off and he had come here to have a good time. Not to have her ruin it.

"Maybe you should have, but that's too late now. You did it and that's it. That's what you did in the situation."

"And I know that was shitty of me."

"Which changes absolutely nothing. You know you hurt me. I opened up to you and you honestly stabbed me in the back. How did you think I would react?" Jungkook hissed.

He could see Minji swallow. When she spoke again her voice was a lot quieter than before. "Back then... I sent them my application but I didn't think they would accept me. I was hoping they wouldn't. I just sent it because it was my dream uni and I would have been disappointed in myself if I hadn't at least tried. I didn't expect them to accept it."

Jungkook bit his lip.

"And then you left. I know the story. A few details aren't going to change it." He didn't sound angry anymore. Just tired. He was too drunk for this. He didn't want to fight her. He just wanted to ignore that he had ever been in a relationship and that there were still some unresolved feelings there. Mostly anger.

"I never wanted to leave you. You know that."

Jungkook scoffed. "Does that change anything?"

Minji sighed. "Please don't close up like this. I just want to talk to you."

"You weren't ready to talk when you broke up with me so why should I talk to you now?"

"Because I was an asshole and I know I was. I was awful to you and I want to make that right."

Jungkook shook his head. "It's too late for that."

"Come on, Jungkook. Just talk to me. If you're still angry with me afterwards that's okay. I deserve that, but please talk to me."

For a few seconds Jungkook didn't say anything, but then he sighed. "Alright. What do you want to say?"

"I already said it before, but for one... I'm really fucking sorry. That breakup really hurt me too, so I just created walls around me to stop it from hurting... but I hurt you in the process and I'm really really fucking sorry for that." Jungkook continued staring up ahead.

He still remembered how hurt he had felt when Minji had told him she was going to move and that a long distance relationship was not an option for her. He no longer felt that pain... he had mostly gotten over that, since living with Taehyung had put things into perspective. What did a broken relationship mean when his life was in danger?

And yet he could still very well remember how painful it had been when Minji had shown up at his place to get her stuff. How emotionally overwhelmed he had been when he had found a hair tie under his bed and had ended up angrily kicking things around his room before collapsing onto his bed and crying.

He remembered the ups and downs. He'd only had two weeks to truly grieve his relationship but those two weeks had felt like months. He remembered Eunji coming over and actually holding him, even though she usually avoided physical contact for the most part.

"You should be sorry." Jungkook eventually muttered, pushing his hair back.

"I'm also sorry I didn't react to any of your messages... I couldn't get myself to. And I knew an answer from me probably wouldn't have helped you either, so I just deleted them without answering. But believe me when I tell you that I listened to all of them and it hurt. It really hurt because I wanted to drive back to you and comfort you. But I had made my choice and I knew that I didn't deserve you back."

Jungkook let out a shaky breath. Even though he was no longer emotionally attached to Minji, hearing those things still hurt. While he presently no longer had those feelings for her, he could still very well remember how he had felt at the times she'd just mentioned.

"Why are you even back in town? Shouldn't you still be in Seoul studying hard."

Minji hummed softly and Jungkook hated that he still remembered the evenings she had sat in bed next to him, reading a book and absentmindedly humming in agreement whenever Jungkook had said something.

"I'm visiting my family... I missed them so I decided to come back for a while and I will be staying for a month or two... and I was hoping to reconcile with you." She sighed, throwing her head back to look at the sky. "I know it's selfish of me, but I don't want you to hate me... we had a beautiful relationship and it honestly hurts me to know we lost all that because I was dumb."

She turned her head to look at him. "I understand if you hate me... but I really want you not to."

She smiled bitterly.

"It's painful to know because I want you to be happy. You..." She hesitated. "...the time we were together was honestly one of the best times of my life and I want you to know that. I really loved you. And I know I ruined that, with my own mistakes, but I still care about you and I want you to be happy."

Jungkook really didn't know what to say to that. Minji had really hurt him and he still felt angry about that, but at the same time he could tell that she was being genuine. And he got it... as badly as it had ended, the few months they had been together had been something Jungkook had really enjoyed.

That had been the very reason the breakup had been so devastating. It had come out of absolutely nowhere.

Jungkook sighed. He really didn't know what to say to that.

"Why are you telling me this? Like, what do you expect out of this? For me to forgive you?"

She shook her head slowly, now looking at the ground, seemingly contemplating.

"I-I don't know. I just wanted to let you know that this was never supposed to happen this way and that..." She hesitated. "I think what I want is for you to be able to make peace with what happened... and maybe for me too. I don't want you to have to look back at that time and regret the months we spent together, even if that's selfish."

Jungkook sighed, thinking back. The breakup really had thrown a bit of a dark shadow onto their whole relationship. It had pushed everything into this bitter light.

"Look, that's nice and well in theory, but that's not something I can control. What we had was all great while it lasted, but the breakup was awful and now when I think back to it... I just don't feel any positive emotions towards it." He hesitated. "I think I can, to some extent, forgive you, but don't think I can just change the way I look at our past relationship. And I'm still angry at you."

Minji pressed her lips together and nodded. "I get that... it's sad but I get that."

She looked down at the ground before awkwardly smiling at Jungkook. "Can we try to at least be... civil while I'm in town? I know you're probably not the happiest to see my face right now, but I don't want to ruin your day just by being here and I think I could relax a little more as well if I knew you're no longer mad at me."

Jungkook waved her off. "Whatever. I'm over you, don't worry."

He could see her raise an eyebrow in the corner of his eyes and couldn't help but chuckle a little. At least she could still tell when he was joking.

It wasn't just a joke though... Taehyung's presence really had helped Jungkook get over Minji. In a quite awful way, but even now, all he had missed this last week had been having a relationship. Not Minji herself.

"And have you had anyone you're interested in since?" Minji asked, still sitting next to him. Jungkook wondered if this was the point where they would switch over to other topics and just act like they were strangers that had just started talking.

"Not really. Mostly just because I haven't met anyone since though... I've been really busy these last few months." He hesitated. "With uni stuff and all that."

"Same for me." Minji sighed. "Seriously, again, I'm sorry for what happened."

"Let's not talk about it anymore... the past is the past." Jungkook simply didn't want to think about it anymore. He knew he was still angry at her deep down but he could at least act like he wasn't. For the sake of acting civil.

Jungkook picked up another rock and let it skip over the water.

"I've moved on and so have you... just enjoy your break here and don't mind me." He skipped yet another rock and he could see Minji open her mouth but she got interrupted when Eunji called out for Jungkook across the beach.

"Jungkook we're going to play some volleyball! Wanna join us?"

"Sure!" Jungkook turned back around to Minji as he got up. "Come on, let's play some volleyball... to seal the fact that there is no unresolved anger between us anymore, alright?"

Minji seemed a little unsure, but when Jungkook forced himself to smile she smiled back. It was going to take a bit of work but Jungkook was sure he could forgive her... because he'd had had someone else to distract him when it had hurt the most.

"Okay... let's play."

A/N

Just a little longer guys one more week then we'll finally get tae back😔💜

It's a little weird but I feel like these two balance each other out quite well skxhsnd

Jungkook isn't exactly in the best mental state rn so to say😔